Kayla was sure she was dead. No, not because she was in pain. Quite the opposite, actually. She was so unbelievably comfortable that she just knew that no one alive could ever possibly reach such heavenly levels of comfort. She opened her eyes and found herself face-to-face with Ariana, who was still fast asleep. It was early on Sunday morning, the first day of December, and Kayla had just had her first good night's sleep in several days.
She found that she felt remarkably lighter. It was as though telling Ariana her story, laying down her burdens so to speak, had made everything much easier for her. It was odd. She thought she would feel even more miserable now than she had before. Ariana knew the terrible truth about her now, and that had to mean... something.
But did it, though? Ariana had forgiven her, more or less. She hadn't blamed her. She hadn't cursed her for her crimes. She had understood everything. That really did mean something. She'd found a true friend.
Ariana shifted in her sleep and her eyes fluttered open. Her drowsy eyes found Kayla’s and she smiled that damn smile that made the brunette’s heart flutter.
“Morning!” she said brightly, tapping Kayla lightly on her nose with the tip of her finger. Kayla yawned.
“How are you always so damn perky so early in the morning?” Kayla asked. Ariana shrugged, glanced down at her chest, and then proceeded to poke Kayla’s breasts a few times before doing the same thing to herself. Kayla stared at her with wide eyes.
“What are you doing?” said Kayla. Ariana shook her head.
“We’re both equally perky,” said Ariana quite seriously. “I’m just bigger.” Kayla was literally speechless.
“I… I don’t… okay, first… I didn’t mean your boobs, sweetie. I meant your attitude. Secondly, thanks for making me feel inferior. I appreciate that, darlin’,” Ariana’s eyes narrowed.
“You know, they’ve got surgeries if you really want to be…” the redhead began. Kayla put a finger to her lips.
“I don’t, kiddo,” she said firmly. “Thanks, though. I’ll stay all natural. Besides, you’re going to be the one with back problems one day.” Ariana giggled.
“They are heavy,” she said plainly. She rolled onto her back and sighed heavily. Kayla was now having particular feelings stir within her and against her better judgment she allowed her gaze to drop to the swell of the redhead’s chest, which rose and fell gently with her every breath.
“Did you want a better look?” Ariana asked. Damn. Kayla had seriously hoped the redhead wouldn’t notice her looking. She realized she’d have had better odds if she hadn’t been ogling her like a moron. Did she seriously think the other girl wouldn’t see her staring like an idiot?
“I… uh…” Hell, there was no getting out of it now. Might as well go to Warp 9 and hope for the best. “I can see just fine from here. Thanks, though,”
“If you’re sure,” said Ariana kindly. “I could shift if you’d like?”
”No, no,” said Kayla, unable to stop thinking how horribly wrong this conversation was. “No, baby, you’re fine there.” It only struck her then just what her feelings for Ariana really meant. If she ever did decide to pursue a relationship, there were a few hurdles to overcome.
Firstly, Ariana was only seventeen while Kayla was nineteen. The last thing she needed was a statutory rape case brought down on her. Secondly, Ariana was a little… off. She wasn’t crazy necessarily, nor was she stupid. She was simply different in her own special way. Yeah, that’s so politically correct it’s positively nauseating, but with Ariana it was true.
But how much did Ariana understand? Was a romantic relationship, and everything that came with one, something Ariana understood? Or was something so deep and meaningful beyond her? If she, Kayla, attempted to spur things along, how would Ariana react? Would she even know what was happening?
But then, she’d told Coop not to flirt with her, didn’t she? She had to know something about courting and romance, but how much? And then, she wasn’t even sure if Ariana would even be interested even if she did understand.
She briefly considered how she might admit her feelings to Ariana. She’d crafted whole soul baring speeches for Claire before she died, but never once had the courage to actually speak the words. Maybe if she’d been braver, if she’d just gone for it, they could have had some time together. Maybe Claire would still be alive if she had just told her the truth.
That was the first time she realized how lucky she was, and how horrible she felt for what she’d just thought. Kayla had truly loved Claire. She really had. But for the first time, she realized that if Claire hadn’t died, if she hadn’t been forced to run away, she would have never met Ariana.
It was so horrible that she couldn’t even begin to rationalize it all. She would have given anything to have Claire back, but losing Ariana… to have never even met her... What could she do with that? She had two completely opposing desires. She cared about Ariana, would never want to be without her, however in any reality where Claire was still alive, she never met the redhead.
What made her feel truly terrible was that she knew, in that moment, that if she were offered the chance to go back and change things, to have never taken the money from Dwayne, spare Claire, and never go on the run, she wouldn’t do it. She wouldn’t exchange her life now for the life she might have had back home. Claire was supposed to have been so important to her, had been the reason that she murdered three people, but yet she would never wish to go back to that life… to lose Ariana.
It was a stupid thing to worry about. Claire was dead and nothing could change what had happened, but still it was a hard thing to come to grips with. Kayla, lost in these miserable thoughts, was shocked back to reality by Ariana leaning over her and oh-so-briefly pressing her lips to Kayla's. Kayla was stunned, frozen somewhere between pure blissful pleasure and complete shock. The only complete thought that registered was that the girl tasted like strawberries. Ariana leaned back, looking rather sad.
"Sorry," she said quietly. "You just... looked like you needed that." How could she know? Simple human contact was exactly what she needed right then. She'd been so lonely, so cut off from everyone she loved...
"Thanks," she said slowly. "Yeah, I... I really did." Ariana smiled and slid off the bed.
"If you ever want to talk about... well, anything, I'm here." she said softly.
"Well, actually..." Kayla said quickly. "Actually, I... I kinda do have something I'd like to talk about." She'd felt so much better after telling Ariana about her past. She couldn't hold it in anymore. Ariana came back to the bed and sat down, tucking her long legs under herself and looking at Kayla expectantly.
Kayla sat up too and took Ariana's left hand in hers. She looked up into the redhead's blue eyes. God, she was just so damned beautiful. Those caring eyes, full lips, that thin sprinkle of freckles on the bridge of her nose. The way her hair fell around her face and down past her shoulders... everything about her was just perfect. Even her innocent, kooky sweetness was perfect. She looked up into those wide, curious eyes again, unsure where to begin… what to even say.
“I love you,” Ariana said suddenly, knocking whatever Kayla had been drumming up to say straight out of her brain.
“W… what?” Kayla stammered.
“That’s what you wanted to say, wasn’t it?” Ariana asked. “I mean, you weren’t going to start with that, but it was your point, right?” It was true. Kayla couldn’t deny it to herself. She loved Ariana. Maybe not romantically, not yet, but yeah she loved the bubbly redhead. She’d kill to protect her… she’d die to protect her. Ariana had become Kayla’s whole world in a matter of days. It made no sense, but then... maybe it didn't need to.
“Yeah,” she said slowly. She so wanted to look away, to speak instead to Ariana’s knees, but those blue pools had her transfixed. “Yeah, I was gonna get to that… in a really roundabout way. I wasn’t sure how to say it… still not sure I want to say it.”
“Why not?” Ariana asked.
“Because of Claire,” said Kayla. She shook her head. “Not… not because of Claire, exactly, I… I loved her and her death almost killed me. Like I said last night, I can’t go through that again. I didn’t just run away because I was trying to hide from Dwayne, Ari. I ran away because I didn’t want him to go after my mother and little sister.
“My mom took my sister to San Francisco for a while when she and my dad were fighting, I… I don’t think he knows where they are. He’d probably never find them, but I knew if I left the state and made sure he had people following me, he’d leave them alone. They were the only weakness I had, Ari… until I met you. I didn’t care about anyone else. I didn’t love anyone else. But you… you give him a way to hurt me because I… I do love you, Ari.
“I want so badly to just disappear, but if I do that I still lose you… and I can’t do that. You’re… you’re just so… Hell, Ari, I don’t know. I just know that I can’t be without you. Not today, not ever. And do you know what the worst part is? I recovered from Claire, the girl I killed for in a rage. I recovered from Claire. I still miss her, I still ache everyday from losing her, but I’m still going ahead with what’s left of my life. She was my best friend for my entire life and in five days, I feel more strongly for you than I ever did for her. I guess I’m trying to work out a way that that doesn’t make me the most horrible person ever.”
“It doesn’t make you horrible, Kayla,” Ariana said softly. “It makes you… human. Something terrible happens… and it really hurts, but you grieve and you move on. It’s never easy, but you have to. We’re not all good at it, but it’ll eat you alive if you don’t. And do you really think Claire would want you to waste your whole life for her? If you really were best friends, she wouldn’t want that. She’d want you to live, Kayla.”
“I don’t know what she’d want,” Kayla deadpanned. “How can I?”
“You know,” said Ariana firmly. “You know you do.” She slid off of the bed. “Stop hating yourself for living your life, Kay-Kay.” She leaned over toward her and kissed her once again. It wasn’t romantic, but friendly… comforting. She smiled. “I’ll bring you some waffles.” She bounced out of the room. Kayla fell back against her pillow.
“Oh, and by the way,” said Ariana, poking her head back around the corner. “I love you too,” She disappeared into the living room. Kayla put her hands over her face.
"Well, shit..." she groaned.
-.-
The girls spent the day doing their best to stay out of the way of the crew that came to install all of their purchases from the previous day. Ariana, forever the sweetheart, baked the guys cookies and made them ham and cheese sandwiches. She kept up a constant flow of ice cold lemonade as well. By the end of the day, Kayla just knew all five of them were completely in love with her.
Kayla spent the evening watching their new TV while Ariana kept opening their new refrigerator which had lights inside that slowly brightened as you opened it. Ariana said you could almost hear angels singing when it was opened. Kayla wasn’t sure about that, but she let the redhead have her fun.
Ariana made pork chops for dinner and the girls enjoyed them at their new, no longer rickety table, watched sleepily by Fluffers the Cat, who sat perched atop his new towering kitty condo like a king, looking down over his minions. Kayla had the suspicion that if cats like Fluffers had opposable thumbs, they might just rule the whole world.
After dinner, the girls cuddled on the couch to watch a movie. Kayla flipped channels and finally settled on Hugo. She’d been tempted by Taken, but highly suspected that the film might frighten Ariana, who would likely mention that Liam Neeson would not come and rescue her in the event she was to be kidnapped.
As the film progressed, Kayla became rather sleepy. It was quite warm and comfortable, lying on the sofa with Ariana, who if you didn’t know was remarkably cuddly. Kayla was just getting ready to drift off, her face resting against the warmth of the exposed skin of Ariana’s neck. Just as her mind filled with pleasant thoughts of who the redhead’s skin smelt faintly of cinnamon, the other girl said;
“I’ve always dreamed of going to Paris,” Kayla jumped slightly as the sound of her voice. Ariana shifted, turning away from the TV to look behind her at Kayla, who looked rather ruffled.
“Sorry,” said Kayla, brushing her hair away from her face. “What?”
“I said I’ve always wanted to go to Paris,” said Ariana, gesturing toward the TV. It took Kayla a moment to link Ariana’s comment with the fact that the movie was indeed set in Paris.
“Oh, yeah,” said Kayla slowly. “Paris… Well, why don’t you? You’ve got millions, after all. A plane ticket and a hotel room don’t cost that much, considering.” Ariana suddenly looked very nervous.
“Oh, I… I couldn’t do that.” she said sadly. “I couldn’t go so far away… to somewhere so mysterious and strange, I…” But then her face brightened. “Oh! You could come with me!” she added excitedly.
“That’s sweet, Ari, but I couldn’t,” said Kayla. “You’ve spent so much on me already and… and I don’t know any French…”
“Neither do I,” said Ariana. “We could learn together! C’mon, Kay-Kay! Please?” She sat up and began poking Kayla in the ribs ever more rapidly and saying ‘Please?’ each time. When Kayla still shook her head, Ariana straddled her and began furiously tickling her, causing Kayla, who was stupidly ticklish, to shriek and try in vain to stop the other girl’s ruthless assault.
"Okay! Okay!" Kayla shouted at last, her resistance collapsing under Ariana's tickling attack. "Alright, I'll go with you!"
"Yay!" Ariana exclaimed in that sweet way she often did.
"I'll look into getting us passports tomorrow," said Kayla. "I think it takes a while,"
"Okay, thanks," said Ariana. She smiled down at the brunette with that damned perfect smile of hers. Kayla sat up slowly, causing Ariana to shift her weight backwards ever so slightly. Just do it, the voice in her head was shouting at her. Just do it! Just kiss her, just go! Oh, how she wanted to. Oh, screw it! She leaned forward slightly, her eyes drawn to the other girl’s lips.
Ariana stared at her, her eyes wide, her lips slightly parted. She tilted her head a little to one side as Kayla drew closer. Kayla’s hands found Ariana’s and she laced their fingers together. That’s it, said the voice in Kayla’s head. Just a little closer… come on… come on… But she couldn’t do it. The terrified part of herself took hold at the very last second and she stood up abruptly.
“It’s pretty late,” she said lamely, staring at the floor. “I think I’ll turn in.” She marched purposefully toward the bedroom door. Ariana smirked at her over her shoulder.
“Chicken,” she said playfully. Kayla paused at the door. Her anger flared and she imagined herself turning around, striding straight back to Ariana, jerking her off the couch, pressing her back against the fire escape door and giving her a night she’d never forget. She didn’t, but it didn’t mean she didn’t want to.
But as Kayla fell into bed, one thought stuck with her. Ariana knew how she felt. She knew and she wasn’t repulsed by it. Kayla wasn’t sure what to do with that realization, or what it meant for the future. She supposed it meant that maybe, one day; something could blossom between them; perhaps if Dwayne were in prison, or more to Kayla’s satisfaction, dead.
Ariana came to bed an hour later. Kayla wasn’t sure whether she had waited so long to give her a chance to pretend to be asleep if she wanted to, or if she was just playing with Fluffers. Either way, Kayla took advantage and pretended to be fast asleep. The redhead sank onto the side of the bed and stared down at Kayla for a long moment. She slipped into bed and snuggled up beside Kayla. She placed her lips close to Kayla’s ear and whispered; “Goodnight,”
-.-
“Kayla! Kayla, wake up! C’mon, wake up!” Ariana roused Kayla at some obscenely early hour the following morning. The brunette groaned as Ariana began shaking her.
“Geez, Ari, what… what time is it?” Kayla muttered. She glanced at the digital clock on the bedside table. 4:16 a.m. Damn.
“Early,” said Ariana dryly. “But come on! You’ve got to see this!” Ariana urged Kayla out of bed and into the living room. She opened the fire escape door, her face shining with excitement. When they stepped outside, Kayla had to admit it was worth waking up for.
It had been freezing outside for a while, but during the night a storm had moved through and a thick blanket of snow had fallen, and was in fact still falling, on Detroit. Kayla, hailing from Southern California, had honestly never seen snow in person before. It really was…
“Beautiful,” Kayla whispered, watching the gentle cascade of flakes falling from the cold, black sky. “Ari, this is amazing.”
“I love snow,” Ariana said blissfully. Kayla looked over at her and smiled. The redhead’s hair was flecked with white and her cheeks were pink with cold. Chill bumps ran up her bare legs, but Kayla was sure she had never seen the redhead happier. She sat down, her back against the warehouse wall, with the brightest smile ever on her face.
“Here, I’ll get you a jacket,” said Kayla, turning toward the door.
“I’ll be fine,” said Ariana dismissively. Kayla shrugged and sat down beside her. They sat there for a long while, until the sun began to just peek over the horizon, causing the world around them to glisten and sparkle as the early rays of light bounced off the fresh layers of snow. Kayla grinned.
“I see now why you love snow so much, Ari,” she said. “It’s so beautiful,” Ariana shook her head.
“It’s not that, Kayla,” she said softly. “It’s… the first thing I saw on the first day of my life.” Kayla couldn’t begin to grasp what that meant, but right then, as she sat there surrounded by such miraculous beauty, it didn’t really matter. Kayla put her arm around the other girl. Ariana rested her head on the brunette’s shoulder and they waited there to watch the sun rise on Kayla’s sixth day at Warehouse 15.629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVePLxPcyD
