Desta and I have been back together for four days now, and honesty,  I've never felt more alive.

Love does crazy things to you. Since we've patched up our relationship, I've practically  had this stupid grin on my face 24/7. Even when I burnt my finger cooking breakfast this morning, because Shredder, my newly adopted cat, spooked me out of a day dream about Desta by rubbing against my leg, I shouted, scowled, sucked my finger for 0.5 seconds, then continued smiling. 

I've come to realise that binge watching  shit on Netflix with your man is one of the best things that you can do in the world. Even though I already watched the first season of AHS on Netflix, I did it by myself, and not with Desta. Hence, us sitting in his living room, in front of his smart TV, watching Tate scare the living shit out of Violet and some other chick.

He picked me up from work today, and now, I feel sticky. I haven't bathed since seven this morning. I glance at my watch. Nine thirty. That's thirteen and a half hours.

"Desta."

"Yes, babe?"

Oh god. Every time he calls me babe, I get the fucking feels.

"I... I have to shower."

"'Kay. Just hurry back to me."

The thing about me, is that I take forever to shower. I get a bit preoccupied as the shower head sprays warm, relaxing water all over my body. As a result, when I come out of the shower, and return to the living room at ten past eleven, I find Desta sleeping like an infant on the couch. He looks so much like a child while sleeping, that I can't bare to wake him.

God, he's so beautiful when he's asleep. He has a light snore, and his mouth is open, and settled into peaceful expression. He looked so relaxed, and he even has a little bit of drool escaping from the side of his mouth. I have to restrain myself from licking it, and running my tongue into his mouth.

God. You are one lovesick son of a bitch.

I really am also tired, though, but I didn't discuss staying over with him. I don't want to be too invasive, but I also don't want to piss him off by leaving.

What should I do? Text him?

I look at him, and his phone is on the ground in front of the couch. He doesn't have any friends, so he doesn't bother turning his phone on silent, because he knows the only people to call and text so late at night will be his family, or myself; Digicel* and other things like that don't call and text past eleven.

So if you text him... his phone will go off, and he'll wake up.

Should I leave a note?

Ew! No! That's so cheesy!

So I leave him there sleeping peacefully on the couch, go outside to call a taxi, and go home.

***

It is twelve minutes past one, and I hear shuffling coming from downstairs, more than likely in the kitchen. Probably Shredder. I named her due to her habit of clawing everything in sight.

She was just a stray who wouldn't stop stealing food from my stove. I got tired of it, and thought that maybe if I feed her, she'll stay away from my food. Well, she sort of moved in after that.

She's quite tame, and we've come to this mutual agreement in which I feed her, and we comfort each other.

However, when I descend my stairs into the darkness of the living room, through which you have to pass to get to the kitchen, I come face to face with a pair of russet brown eyes which are so familiar by now, I'd know them anywhere.  

I see several emotions burning in those eyes, but the two main ones are anger, and lust so extreme, it feels like it's scorching me.

Ezinma, you are officially fucked, and about to get fucked.

"You left," he says, his voice deep, and rich, and full of masculinity.

"You... you were sleeping," I say weakly. I know what's about to happen; my body knows, and it's preparing itself for it. I can feel myself creaming in my  cotton boy shorts.

"You should have woken me."

Because his skin blends so perfectly into the darkness, I can barely see him; only his eyes, and the faint outline of his perfectly muscled, toned body. Somehow, this makes it all the more erotic. Because the way that his eyes are darting up and down, my body, taking me in, I know that he can see me.

And since I can't see him, but he can see me, he yields a certain amount of control, this power over me.

Come to think of it, why can't I see his clothes? He was wearing a fitted white T-shirt when I was at his house.

Then, I make the sad mistake of looking down, and I nearly come right then and there.

I can see a glint of metal where his navel should be in relation to his eyes, and Desta doesn't seem like the type to have a navel piercing. So I'm guessing that he's naked and very, very hard.

My eyes begin to adjust to the pitch black of the living room, and I can just make out his expression; he has that smirk, the smirk that lets me know that I'm in deep deep shit. 

"How are you with pain?"

I want to sob with gratitude. Finally, a man that understands.

"G-good, sir."

"Ah, Ezinma, you know me so well," he says, grinning when I call him 'sir'.

His eyes assess me for a few seconds, then, he grabs me by my hair and drags me by my hair to the shiny, granite kitchen counter.

"Strip."

I do exactly that.

When I take off my panties, he tells me to give them to him.

"Good god. I can smell how wet you are. You're so naughty, Ezinma. Were you creaming the entire time I was talking to you?"

I just look into his eyes, and the next thing I know, my hair is being pulled back and his lips are at my ear.

"Answer me."

"Y-yes, sir."

He lets me go, pulls back and looks at me for a few seconds, then stuffs my mouth with my panties.

"I'm gonna punish you. Turn around and hold on to the edge of the counter. Knock it three times if you want me to stop."

I do. And I wait. And wait,with my cunt contracting at his words the whole time.

Then I hear it, then I feel it. A woody through the air, followed by a thwack, accompanied by a sting on my ass.

A belt.

Not just any belt. One of those genuine leather belts that your parents use to beat your ass when you misbehave. And then you and your friends go and exchange "beating stories" at school on Monday at lunchtime, arguing over whose mother/father beats better.

Well, Jamaicans should know what I'm talking about.

My point is... it hurts like a bitch.

So naturally, I almost come.

I'm glad that he didn't ask me to count, or any of that shit, because I can't do much more than focus on not coming.

And he continues.

With each one, my cunt contracts, ready to explode.

Jesus H. Christ, get a hold of yourself! 

"Don't you dare come until I say so."

Shit.

I'm shaking with the amount of effort to hold it in, and finally, finally, he stops.

The belt clatters to the ground, and I hear the metal of the belt buckle hit the tiled floor. I jump a little at the sound, and I hear him chuckle.

I then feel his hands on my hips, and the ball of the barbel on the tip of his dick running along my slit. I let out a moan, muffled by the panties in my mouth, and he reaches around to yank them out. 

"Hands behind your back."

When I comply, he uses my panties to bind my hands behind my back.

"Choose a safeword."

"Russet," I say without hesitation, then blush at how quickly I said it.

"Why?"

"It's the colour of your eyes... It makes me feel safe."

"Are you ashamed of your feelings for me?"

"No, sir!"

"Then, why are you embarrassed?"

"I... I find it hard, admitting my feelings and the depth of my feelings."

He then continues to tease me.

"Why did you leave, Ezinma?"

Ahhhhh! Not now! Please! 

"I didn't want to wake you. You looked so peaceful when you slept. Please fuck me."

I feel a sting on my already sore backside, then I feel my head being pulled backwards.

"Don't tell me what to do. Why didn't you text me?"

"The noise would have women you. May I have your cock in my pussy, please?" I ask. Ask, not tell.

This time, I get two slaps and a pinch and tug on my clit. I moan in both pleasure and frustration.

Oh, well. At least you tried.

"Don't get smart with me," he whispers in my ear. I can hear the grin in the fucker's voice. He pulls back. "No note?"

I shake my head. "No. That's too cheesy."

He waits, then shorts. "No smartass remark begging me to fuck you this time?"

My face heats up. "No."

I feel a slap.

"No, what?"

"No, sir."

He lets out a sigh.

"Funny how your mind works, Ezinma. Because to you, leaving a note is 'too cheesy'."

He waits a few seconds to finish his thought.

" But... sneaking out of a man's house when he's asleep isn't?"

I'm silent. Shit. I never thought about it that way.

"That's what I thought," he says, in a low, husky voice.

Then, he slowly forces his way inside of me, and I bite my lip so hard I taste blood. He pulls back, and rubs the ball of the barbel on my g spot. He then leans down, and places his lips against my ear.

"So, you thought it would be a good idea to up and leave me there, sleeping on my couch, huh?"

"I... I... oh, godaaaaaaa!" I say, because he just slapped me, and I clenched around his dick. 

I only have time to register the fact that he's chuckling, before he's fucking me. My muscles freeze, as I try my hardest not to come. But, as always, he's not letting shit go.

"Why did you leave?"

"I don't know! Please!" Please let it go... Please let me come...

He pulls on my clit, and I bite and chew my lip so card, I'm sure that this counts as cannibalism. He leans down to murmur in my ear.

"Yes, you do. And so do I. I just want to hear you say it."

I don't know!

Yes, you do. Just say it.

"It's too much!" I sob. "What I feel! I didn't want to be in the 'stay over without asking' stage yet. Were going so fast, and when I'm around you, I feel like my blood warms, and my entire mind and body comes alive, and...it's just a lot to adapt to."

He says nothing; he only starts fucking me so hard, that I can feel my pierced nipples rubbing against the countertop, and rubbing my clit in harsh circles. When I can't take anymore, I start to beg.

Please! Please! Please sir, may I come? Ple—"

"Come."

I come so hard, I feel every single inch of my body tingling; the orgasms chokes me. I can't scream. When he comes, filling me up with semen, that just sets my whole body on fire. I simply can't take anymore. The next thing I know, everything goes black.

***

A sharp smack to the ass wakes me up.

"Ah!" I yelp.

"Did you just pass out?"

Don't inflate his ego. Don't...

"Wow. I'm good," he says from behind, and I can hear the pride, the smugness in his voice.

He removes my binding, carries me upstairs, and tucks me into bed.

"Ezinma," he says, his voice taking on a vulnerable edge. He turns on the bedside lamp, and I look up to see the pained expression on his face.

"Please don't be afraid of loving me." 

I can see the yearning on his face, the same yearning that I feel. So I give him the most honest answer that I can.

"I'm trying."

He smiles a small smile. "Me, too."

And then, I blanch.

Shit.

Shit.

FUCKING SHIT, EZINMA! YOU IDIOT!

"Babe? What's wrong?" Desta asks, sounding genuinely concerned. I don't blame him. I probably look like I've seen a ghost.

"I..." I gulp, and look at him.

Tell him!

"I stopped taking my birth control."