“Lily, open your eyes.” Someone begged. “I need to see that you’re okay. Please, open your eyes. Please, please, please.”
Lily heard a deep rattle of a heater in the room. She was very annoyed that she was pulled out of her forest, but maybe it was for the best.
“Please.” Was that person… crying…? “You’ve been asleep for so long. I need to hear your voice again. I need to see your eyes. Please.” She felt tears drip onto her forehead. Did she cause that person this much pain?
Concern and fear got the best of her. Lily opened her eyes that were heavy with fatigue. She looked up at the man that stood above her. “I’m sorry….” Her voice was quiet. “Please, don’t cry….”
“Lily!” Jason sobbed happily. Tears streamed down his cheeks. “Oh my god….” He collapsed on the floor, “Oh my god….” He pressed his forehead down onto the mattress. “You’re awake… You’re finally awake….”
Lily didn’t understand. She thought she was only in that forest for a couple of minutes. Why did it seem as if she was there for days? Maybe weeks? “Jason… please, don’t cry….” She tilted her head to look over at him. She was afraid of opening her wounds again, so she didn’t turn her body or move. She didn’t like it when he cried. Especially when she felt it was her fault. It hurt her deeply. “Please.” She touched his head with her hand. She saw that he hadn’t shaved for a while, and his hair was messy and oily. How long had it been since he took care of himself? He sobbed heavily. Tears falling down his cheeks. Was she dreaming? Was it possible that she was asleep for this long? “Jason… why are you crying…?”
“It’s been so long!” He cried. “It’s been so long since you’ve been awake! I thought I messed up! I thought I hurt you!”
“No, no….” Lily brushed her fingers through his hair. “You didn’t hurt me. You’re physically incapable of hurting me.”
“I thought I messed up… I thought I screwed your brain up….” He cried silently into the mattress.
What happened? How long had it been since she woke up? What was going on? Why did she sleep for so long? What did Jason do to her brain? “Jason. How long has it been since you showered or did anything to take care of yourself?”
“Weeks….” He sobbed into the sheets.
If it was weeks since that night he had to stop the bleeding… and if he was successful… then she should be fine to get up. She lightly touched her stomach with her fingers to find that it was wrapped up completely with bandages. She pressed down on her stomach to find a very little sting surrounding the skin that was around her finger. It had been weeks.
Lily looked up at Jason, her eyebrows pulled together. “Have you been cleaning out my cuts, rewrapping my bandages, and stayed by my side until I woke up the entire time?”
Jason nodded into the sheets.
“You didn’t take one shower or bath the entire time as well?”
He nodded again.
My god… was this boy crazy? “Did you even brush your teeth?” Her voice grew sharper in worry.
He shook his head.
HE DIDN’T BRUSH HIS TEETH EITHER? “Jason, where’s Jules?”
“She’s sleeping….” His voice was muffled.
That poor boy… He cared about Lily that much… At first she thought Jules wasn’t helping him. Then she figured that Jules probably tried to, but he didn’t want to listen. Lily sat up and Jason threw his head up. He was about to tell her to lie back down when she put her finger up, “Before you say anything. Just know that I feel fine.”
“But-” Jason started.
“No buts.” She copied off of him. “It’s time you take a shower, and I’m going to help you.”
“I don’t want to take a shower… I want to help you….” He looked down at the ground.
Lily raised her hands, “And look at me. I’m completely fine.” She pushed her legs off the bed and stood. “Come on,” she lightly grasped his hand, “it’s time for you to let me help you.” He stood and walked with her to the bathroom.
She turned on the shower and waited for it to heat up while he got undressed. She leaned in on the shower and touched the water, making sure that it was at the right temperature. When it heated up to a hot temperature and it didn’t burn her fingers, she pulled away.
“Go on.” She reassured him. “It’s okay.”
He stepped in the shower and sat on the floor. The warm water patted onto his skin, soothing his adrenaline rush. Lily took the soap off the side of the tub and scrubbed his back. He placed his head onto his knees as she cleaned his oily skin. At first, he didn’t want her to help him because he felt like he hurt her. But now… he didn’t mind it.
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*****
After Lily scrubbed Jason’s skin and washed his hair. He dried off on his own and she walked back into the bathroom after he was fully clothed, his teeth were brushed, and he was fully shaved. “Is it okay if I brush your hair?” She asked softly. He did it for her. Why couldn’t she do it for him?
He nodded softly.
Lily grabbed his thin bristle hairbrush and attempted to reach his head when she realized she was too short. “Ahh….” She chuckled, “I’m too short… Can you sit down or something?”
He smiled for the first time and sat down onto his knees. She ran the hairbrush through his hair, smoothing out the damp strands that curled at his forehead. He closed his eyes, finally realizing what she felt when he brushed her hair. It was calming and soothing. She ran her fingers through his hair after she was done with the hairbrush. Exactly what he did with her.
“There.” She stepped back after smoothing his hair down with gel. “Is that how you do it?”
“Yes.” Jason stood and looked down at the counter. He felt depression sink into his soul. He was furious with himself for hurting her. He hated himself.
Lily grasped his hand, taking him off guard. “Come on, I’ll help you sleep.” She knew he hadn’t slept in weeks. Maybe a few naps here or there, but it was clear with the dark circles under his eyes that he wasn’t getting enough rest. They walked to the bed and Lily held his hand as he climbed into the covers. She climbed in after him, pulling close as she covered them with the white sheets and blankets.
Jason felt fatigue weigh down his body with the adrenaline calming down. He felt the energizing rush for weeks so he knew that once he fell asleep, he wasn’t going to wake for a long time.
“I’m sorry….” Tears filled Jason’s eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt you… I was just trying to get Damean out of your head….”
Lily pulled him into a hug, trying to calm him down. “There’s no need to apologize. You had no vicious intent and I know you just wanted to help me.”
“I messed up, though.” His voice cracked. Tears burned his eyes as they fell down his cheeks. “I forced you in that meditative state so you wouldn’t be in pain. I did it without your permission! And I tried to separate you from him… And I did… But….” He started sobbing. “You just wouldn’t wake up… You were stuck in that meditative state for weeks… I was so scared….” Lily never heard him sob like this before. Either he was in so much pain… Or he was unstable due to lack of sleep and the adrenaline rush he had. Maybe both? “I thought I hurt you!” He cried. “I thought I killed you!” He dug his face into her hair. “You were still breathing, but still. I thought your brain was dead….”
Lily cuddled up with him closer. “It’s time you sleep.” She murmured.
“I don’t want to….” He sobbed into her hair. Lily knew he was tired. She also knew that he was forcing himself to stay awake because he was angry. He wanted to hurt himself. She wouldn’t let him, though. Lily started humming a soothing tune. Oh god… She remembered how to get him to sleep. Jason fought her arms that embraced him. He didn’t want to sleep. He didn’t deserve it. He tried to push her arms away… But she held them in place. “Lily, please… I don’t want to sleep….” Jason hadn’t slept in so long that he was too weak to push her away. He moved his legs and arms, but she wouldn’t let go. Lily was confused and concerned. She didn’t know all that had happened. It felt like it went by so fast. But... She continued to hum anyway. “Lily, please… Please stop trying to help me….” Jason didn’t deserve it. He hated himself. He didn’t want to help himself. “Please… I'm begging you….” Lily didn’t listen. She just kept on humming.
Jason tried to keep her soothing voice out of his head, but he couldn’t cover his ears. She held his hands, lightly rubbing his palms with her thumbs. Lily’s voice started digging into his head, slowing his racing thoughts. She calmed the voices in his head that wanted him to punish himself.
“Please….” Jason whispered. He couldn’t control his eyes as they closed. He was going to rest for the first time in weeks. He tried to open his eyes again, but it felt like they were glued shut. “Lily… Please… I don’t….” Jason’s voice trailed off. Lily felt his muscles relax into the bed. He finally fell asleep. He was finally getting the rest he needed for so long. Lily’s soft voice quieted down until she was completely silent.
“Thank you, sissy.” A child said on the other side of the bed.
Lily didn’t have to look up from Jason’s chest to know that it was Jules. “He needed this.” Lily said, still huddled up with Jason.
“I tried to help him… I really did….” Jules said quietly. “He’s very stubborn. He’ll only do things if you tell him to.” She sighed, “He does listen to me occasionally, but only if it’s helping you.”
“I know.” Lily smiled softly. “You tried your best, and that’s what matters.”
Jules stayed silent.
“Smiles…?” Lily asked, concern filling her tone. “I am worried that you haven’t been sleeping either.”
Jules sighed. “I haven’t…. But there’s no way of fixing that.”
Lily raised her hand. “Come here, I’m capable of helping two people now that he’s not fighting me.” Lily knew that Jason was the only one who could help her sleep. And she knew that she was the only one who could help Jason sleep. Lily also assumed that she was the only one who could help Jules sleep as well.
Lily saw Jules sit up on the other side of Jason. “Are you sure?” Jules asked shyly. “It’s not too much?”
“I have two hands.” Lily smiled. “Come here, smiles.”
Jules crawled over to Lily and Jason and laid down next to Lily as Lily rolled over onto her back.
Lily’s left hand held Jason into her side while the other lightly stroked Jules’ hair.
Jules looked up at Lily. “Sissy… It’s my fault that Jason’s this way… I told him to get into your mind….”
Lily’s blue eyes gazed softly into Jules’ bright pink ones. “It’s not your fault. Nothing that’s happening to me is any of your faults.”
Jules decided to give up fighting back. “Alright….”
“Now, go to sleep.” Lily murmured. Jules cuddled closer and Lily saw her close her eyes. When Jules’ muscles relaxed, she knew that both of them were asleep.
She stared up at the ceiling. Wide awake from the confusion swirling through her brain. She also overslept tremendously. So she couldn’t sleep at all that night. She couldn’t get up to keep herself busy with Jason and Jules laying on both of her arms… Her lashes lowered with irritation. “This is gonna be a long night.”
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