保母車照例送她回家,在熟悉的巷口停下。星野莉奈道了謝,自己拎著包包下車,朝家的門口走去。28Please respect copyright.PENANArhvzZcDFQP
28Please respect copyright.PENANAy6zHkqBbm2
夜裡的風很輕,路燈把影子拉得很長。她聽見鞋跟在路面上輕輕敲出的聲響,一聲一聲,孤獨得像在空白的紙上打字。28Please respect copyright.PENANAqaBqYJBalD
28Please respect copyright.PENANAjYWtkr8Bg1
進了家門,星野莉奈換上室內拖鞋,動作輕得幾乎聽不見聲音。28Please respect copyright.PENANAFqYWxVYypc
28Please respect copyright.PENANAQhrQnfYb64
包包放在玄關的小桌上,她頓了頓,還是小心地擺正,把背帶理順。28Please respect copyright.PENANAt4e2ymkeSP
28Please respect copyright.PENANAyqAMVmQmeU
外套掛好,扣子一顆一顆扣上。收拾得,像在收拾自己。28Please respect copyright.PENANApOtleNfif7
28Please respect copyright.PENANADegvovMe74
她取出放在外套口袋裡的手機,走到客廳,放在長桌上,靜靜坐下。28Please respect copyright.PENANA9lJauHtHxc
客廳很安靜,只有冰箱運轉的低鳴聲在耳邊繞。28Please respect copyright.PENANALlGTUiHgAp
28Please respect copyright.PENANAEmKnp8rkWh
星野莉奈抱著膝蓋,坐在沙發的一角,手指輕輕摳著自己衣服上的線頭。28Please respect copyright.PENANANByTXHH28p
28Please respect copyright.PENANAFPXpvhw8uX
過了很久,她才伸手拿起手機。28Please respect copyright.PENANAcMtH9uHG7x
28Please respect copyright.PENANAbvfsOnOxBA
打開通訊軟體,滑到最上方那個置頂的對話框。28Please respect copyright.PENANAVra0X26cnJ
28Please respect copyright.PENANAyBZnMoB1DV
上一次的訊息還停留在五天前,在他們要去球賽前,只有一行簡短的「你在球場上的樣子真的超帥」。28Please respect copyright.PENANAuLMVU2qVjN
28Please respect copyright.PENANAh2LxGlYl7f
只有已讀標記,沒有新的回覆。28Please respect copyright.PENANAouBZWjnLoE
28Please respect copyright.PENANAqvSLoPA3le
她盯著那個對話框看了很久很久。指尖滑動到輸入欄,敲了幾個字,又慢慢刪掉。28Please respect copyright.PENANAdgUXJwZ4Nf
28Please respect copyright.PENANAvtDuzBoXBR
想說什麼呢?28Please respect copyright.PENANAkCWtXM3FGg
說「你看起來很好」嗎?28Please respect copyright.PENANAd30QBLEgwN
太多餘了——他會看到,但也不一定會回。28Please respect copyright.PENANAsJhyPWiE1I
28Please respect copyright.PENANAD89ngCX8eW
說「我今天也有努力喔」?28Please respect copyright.PENANA8AxTdJ2VWD
會不會像是在邀功?要期待人家回什麼?28Please respect copyright.PENANAOxEapjorxO
28Please respect copyright.PENANAn9VXP8UxMv
還是問「你的比賽怎麼樣」?28Please respect copyright.PENANAbSbj9QD1iI
「你有沒有揍那個前鋒了」?28Please respect copyright.PENANA1YdDonxz0b
28Please respect copyright.PENANAnFZ75u5BXw
可是他可能沒空詳細說他們的賽況;也沒有理由真的去揍那個前鋒。28Please respect copyright.PENANAsQ1VyQURu5
28Please respect copyright.PENANA5r9YgJdPJZ
那——要不要乾脆只傳一個表情符號?28Please respect copyright.PENANAahPigoZk8a
一個不會被誤會、也不會太明顯的微笑?28Please respect copyright.PENANAdZg92mXmBS
28Please respect copyright.PENANA8IRhk3dcUP
還是——28Please respect copyright.PENANAVxlDhqNb0M
什麼都不說,只顯示上線狀態,讓他知道,她還在這裡。28Please respect copyright.PENANAtq0TMJsNjo
28Please respect copyright.PENANAhaN0dTGhL7
還在這裡,一個人。28Please respect copyright.PENANAcP00frRT5Q
28Please respect copyright.PENANAdVnv115c2k
手機螢幕因為長時間沒有操作,自動暗了下來。28Please respect copyright.PENANAhYGrTYrg4G
28Please respect copyright.PENANAA1GcrA0P06
星野莉奈沒有再打開。28Please respect copyright.PENANAIyqYN0lkUE
她把手機翻面扣在桌上,怕再看到什麼,又怕什麼都沒有。28Please respect copyright.PENANAP6srzmlLO5
28Please respect copyright.PENANAsiwdCIqd2L
然後,她慢慢縮回沙發的角落,把自己抱得更小。28Please respect copyright.PENANAhtjM66DfL0
外面的風輕輕吹過陽台的門縫,帶來一點夜裡的冷意。28Please respect copyright.PENANAH2ArEzHhQ8
28Please respect copyright.PENANA3h77ynQRuW
她靠著沙發背,閉上眼睛。28Please respect copyright.PENANAatJzyTMcvS
28Please respect copyright.PENANA7Lpcg4jgYG
沒有哭。28Please respect copyright.PENANApYM9iZk9fG
28Please respect copyright.PENANAr5MIbvOkez
也沒有期待誰會來敲門。28Please respect copyright.PENANAfwCpCffzOB
只是靜靜地,和自己待在這個空蕩蕩的客廳裡。28Please respect copyright.PENANAAtBVgaTmsg
28Please respect copyright.PENANA4DywMxdDPB
就像很多個夜晚一樣。28Please respect copyright.PENANAmmTRn5Tl8L
28Please respect copyright.PENANAL7m3SiX8g7
她一直都是這樣走過來的。28Please respect copyright.PENANAgadPrgTWh7
28Please respect copyright.PENANAJOXYPLrWCx
這次也可以。28Please respect copyright.PENANAVNYjLkkVoA
28Please respect copyright.PENANAV8tPOewG40
「莉奈?」28Please respect copyright.PENANAZ6Tdc0dZtP
28Please respect copyright.PENANAQJwnjxHWPF
星野莉奈把眼睛睜開,看見媽媽穿著家居服,手上拿著溫熱的巧克力牛奶和提拉米蘇切片蛋糕,還有一小盒切好的水果,輕手輕腳地走下樓來。28Please respect copyright.PENANAYy9ybPDQi3
28Please respect copyright.PENANATj6xKVD89H
「聽到聲音了,才放心。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAWyPeE2nf0j
28Please respect copyright.PENANAoF3Kl5nNS9
她邊說邊靠近,像是怕驚動什麼一樣,動作溫柔又輕。28Please respect copyright.PENANA37RmHnmD2d
28Please respect copyright.PENANACupiDuxtkL
「今天回來時順路看到,就買了一點。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAZtYyxHBzmN
28Please respect copyright.PENANAodH81VoLjL
媽媽輕描淡寫地笑著,把東西放在茶几上。28Please respect copyright.PENANAM4s6Mbmrcr
28Please respect copyright.PENANAtp6BJ5xIZs
「我可是藏得很辛苦,才沒被妳爸爸偷拿去吃呢。」28Please respect copyright.PENANADkSt8MLAis
28Please respect copyright.PENANAPu6klZpiW1
星野莉奈點點頭,沒說話。28Please respect copyright.PENANApOBh5jXmrw
28Please respect copyright.PENANAjjCfgvBl5Z
「趁熱熱的喝,比較好喝。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAaHRosFWLBc
28Please respect copyright.PENANAqU8kZzfBEv
星野莉奈視線停在那杯巧克力牛奶上,杯緣冒著微微熱氣。旁邊提拉米蘇蛋糕的高脂肪乳酪,上面還填蓋一層層奶油——28Please respect copyright.PENANAsWlanPSO6G
28Please respect copyright.PENANAxkkMv7fBoc
「不急著變得更好,今天先吃飽就好。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAK5JqG5DSuY
28Please respect copyright.PENANAUJyFgetmKx
媽媽笑了笑,拍拍她的手背。28Please respect copyright.PENANAY9vIHJmFst
28Please respect copyright.PENANAvuUZ5obHYp
星野莉奈抬起頭,視線越過媽媽的肩膀,落在牆上的那張照片——28Please respect copyright.PENANAF6C7WSmzGa
此刻照片裡的她,正穿著家居服站在自己面前,笑容跟牆上照片模特兒一模一樣——眼神一樣溫柔堅定,聲音一樣輕。28Please respect copyright.PENANAUnKXNmMRBB
28Please respect copyright.PENANAPaGB4KGpzC
她鼻尖微微發酸,輕輕點頭。28Please respect copyright.PENANA9UD24ljSfM
28Please respect copyright.PENANAlO3QhfQ1BH
星野莉奈一直都知道,自己崇拜的那個人——不是因為她站在鎂光燈下,而是因為每一個像現在這樣的時刻。28Please respect copyright.PENANAy72fDD2U0e
28Please respect copyright.PENANAzUxKvcGoCg
媽媽在她對面的單人沙發坐下,輕輕舒了一口氣,像累了很久,終於可以休息一下。28Please respect copyright.PENANAmQtNoA4JYm
28Please respect copyright.PENANA3LZUfT6aSK
過了好一會兒,她才開口,語氣又輕又帶著一點笑意:28Please respect copyright.PENANAaLnxjQhSns
28Please respect copyright.PENANAgkKRwaiViY
「還在想小冴啊?」28Please respect copyright.PENANA4eEXXvusAC
28Please respect copyright.PENANAVLDAdS0Qy0
言語裡帶著寵溺,就像提到什麼頑皮又惹人喜歡的小動物。28Please respect copyright.PENANAmnJmdISg9d
28Please respect copyright.PENANAkXSCnieDxC
星野莉奈怔了一下,眼眶瞬間酸了。低下頭,小小地吸了一口氣,沒回話。28Please respect copyright.PENANAgdHBKoQZXz
28Please respect copyright.PENANAzRwCRF5eow
媽媽沒有逼問,只是歪著頭,笑得更溫柔了些,是心疼,又笑她太傻、太認真。28Please respect copyright.PENANAe3py800Lky
28Please respect copyright.PENANAypKdYi3GKa
「那孩子啊,從小就不太會說話,悶悶的;嘴巴硬得要命,心卻軟得不得了。明明什麼都放在心上,偏偏開口的時候,說出來的都是會惹人誤會的話。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAVD7puJ0W0i
28Please respect copyright.PENANAsdmRFeDfnS
她笑了一下,沒什麼無奈,彷彿在說自家孩子,再麻煩都覺得可愛。28Please respect copyright.PENANAPo1tInl48i
28Please respect copyright.PENANAarc6lQQa5j
「傻得很可愛。」28Please respect copyright.PENANARPbXHwkafL
28Please respect copyright.PENANAO4Z0aR5326
媽媽靠進沙發椅背,像在說一個輕輕的故事。28Please respect copyright.PENANAv9o0C7zGyR
28Please respect copyright.PENANAyRhIYWLELj
「偏偏妳就看得出來,他其實一直有在注意身邊的事——只是他不習慣出聲,不習慣被綁住。就像那天我看他來家裡,鞋子擺得整整齊齊的,手上東西也沒忘記拿,話雖然不多,但我說一句,他都聽得進去。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAVj01uspYLk
28Please respect copyright.PENANAWUynNSgQNj
星野莉奈咬著唇,肩膀微微顫了一下。28Please respect copyright.PENANATVHDXYXnt2
28Please respect copyright.PENANA8WKWCMYKzN
「冴那孩子不會說喜歡妳,不會說想妳,也不會主動牽手⋯⋯但每次妳跌倒了,都是他站在妳後面,手放在妳背上,等妳自己站起來——從小就是這樣呢。」28Please respect copyright.PENANA8GazXWecPj
28Please respect copyright.PENANAVTu0DzztUe
星野莉奈很安靜,雙手卻把曲起的雙膝抱得更緊。28Please respect copyright.PENANAVwQpsXL6rz
媽媽靜靜看了她一會兒,然後緩緩地站起來,走到她身邊。28Please respect copyright.PENANASs3NqgkbIR
28Please respect copyright.PENANAY5xLaGubHK
什麼都沒說,只是坐下,輕輕把她摟進懷裡。28Please respect copyright.PENANAutUHPwK5DZ
28Please respect copyright.PENANAKLkE3x8EG8
沒有太用力,也沒有多餘的語言。28Please respect copyright.PENANABEx3BQJREh
只是這麼靜靜地,把她抱住。28Please respect copyright.PENANA3iAIxuxCEQ
28Please respect copyright.PENANAWH6eC3XKB5
一開始星野莉奈還僵著,像是不太習慣。28Please respect copyright.PENANAEl4zmqtEly
但很快,她慢慢地,把額頭靠進媽媽的肩膀。像終於找到可以喘氣的地方。28Please respect copyright.PENANADF2AsBUOw7
28Please respect copyright.PENANAbuHF4PJbvb
媽媽一隻手輕輕拍著她的背,低低地說:28Please respect copyright.PENANAYI0ScYs0ph
28Please respect copyright.PENANA9e2aREyRhu
「辛苦了,寶貝。真的很辛苦了。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAnKbvajY4Nc
28Please respect copyright.PENANA6F0L3SiW7M
星野莉奈緊緊閉著眼,眼淚無聲地滑下來。28Please respect copyright.PENANAKk7s9lzreo
28Please respect copyright.PENANAT2PlmPca4e
媽媽輕輕拍著星野莉奈的背,過了一會兒,輕聲笑了:28Please respect copyright.PENANACWxBgnOKav
28Please respect copyright.PENANABpK3LZQusZ
「媽媽啊,年輕的時候也有過喔。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAykNoyBKb1o
28Please respect copyright.PENANAbgFt1u50fq
星野莉奈動了動,沒有抬頭,但她聽見了。媽媽的手一邊順著她的背,一邊慢慢地說:28Please respect copyright.PENANAP2k5zuC9pM
28Please respect copyright.PENANAlVLeThssyy
「那時候,我還是新人模特兒,剛開始走紅。接了很多廣告,也拍了人生第一本寫真集。那本是跟一位很有名的攝影師合作的,風格偏紀實、比較像是在記錄那時候的我,沒有太多妝、也沒有太多設計——只是陽光、素顏,還有一些比較生活感的場景。」28Please respect copyright.PENANApeoKyuzWxD
28Please respect copyright.PENANATUL5XeefW6
她頓了一下,像在回想那段時間的味道。28Please respect copyright.PENANADqPFGn0C7w
28Please respect copyright.PENANAxZF0gLPfEs
「但外界的聲音很難聽。什麼天生好命啦、靠人脈啦、會炒作啦⋯⋯說得好像我所有的努力都不是我自己的一樣。那時我也年輕,不太會反駁,只能一直拍、一直撐,讓自己撐到那些聲音沒辦法再把我抹掉。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAikYBv9cyw8
28Please respect copyright.PENANAtNHIGEjtGm
她笑了笑,語氣帶著一點無奈,又有點溫柔:28Please respect copyright.PENANAg5Foqzzs3K
28Please respect copyright.PENANAVgVLMIRfOT
「那時候啊,唯一相信我、支持我的,就是妳爸爸。他還只是個小小的攝影助理,沒什麼話語權——但每次拍照,他都特別認真幫我找角度、打光,什麼都不多說,卻用行動讓我知道,我不是一個人在對抗這個世界。」28Please respect copyright.PENANA8Ca1rsdV0s
28Please respect copyright.PENANAvvrVCPGCeA
媽媽低頭親了親星野莉奈的髮頂,聲音低低地,像是把一個秘密輕輕放進她耳朵裡:28Please respect copyright.PENANAJKdT4NwrL0
28Please respect copyright.PENANAFfaPEbYLlc
「所以啊,妳現在這樣難過,是很正常的。不是妳做錯了什麼,也不是妳不夠好。是這個世界,有時候就是這麼吵、這麼粗糙。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAW4JUJOzUhF
28Please respect copyright.PENANAtAca8tSJBk
她停頓了一下,又笑了笑,語氣變得更溫柔:28Please respect copyright.PENANAkADTgRsHb8
28Please respect copyright.PENANAtKrNUJSxpi
「我一直都知道,妳活得很自主,走路很穩,不太需要別人扶——也一直以為,給妳空間、讓妳自由,就是對妳最好的支持。」28Please respect copyright.PENANA5qqBVfoF4k
28Please respect copyright.PENANAr3qSVChUqG
媽媽輕輕收緊了擁抱,語氣像嘆息又像自問自答:28Please respect copyright.PENANAlVXrX8I9nh
28Please respect copyright.PENANAgKACCjul9P
「但是啊⋯⋯就算是最會走路的小孩,有時候也會想被抱一下吧。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAFckx07TDdg
28Please respect copyright.PENANAXo5lNdDNgI
星野莉奈緊緊咬著唇,肩膀又顫了一下。媽媽輕輕拍拍她的背,接著說:28Please respect copyright.PENANAnpFmuAOsvY
28Please respect copyright.PENANAVU0ApzwIy3
「鈴也是啊。那孩子,特別有正義感。她知道妳不想被誤會、不想傷害任何人,所以她什麼都想擋在自己前面——讓妳可以專心做妳自己。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAD3B8pXidaF
28Please respect copyright.PENANA4R1zlxRKx1
媽媽的呼吸很輕,輕到不帶任何情緒:28Please respect copyright.PENANAKCJLPo6wYm
28Please respect copyright.PENANAh2fw1gTWWb
「而小冴呢⋯⋯很早就決定好怎麼走他的人生了。妳不能拉住他,但妳可以在他停下來的時候,剛好在那裡⋯⋯他不是會說出『我需要妳』的那種人,但那不代表他不需要。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAGKQxwTvbWH
28Please respect copyright.PENANAyxvy9MSQk9
星野莉奈伸手輕輕抓住媽媽的衣角。媽媽溫柔而堅定地說:28Please respect copyright.PENANApBPbtZArdV
28Please respect copyright.PENANASQVpwQuzjl
「妳啊,真的做得很好了。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAM3AVFBYONC
28Please respect copyright.PENANACLgv5gqN43
媽媽低笑了一下,帶著一點調皮的寵溺:28Please respect copyright.PENANAcTtXk0n8LR
28Please respect copyright.PENANAxlJlCSA4Mf
「誰叫咱們家女兒眼光這麼好,偏偏喜歡上那麼獨立、又不太會說話的小傻瓜呢?」28Please respect copyright.PENANAXh6rm6Mdh6
28Please respect copyright.PENANAQfU7P5rz98
她閉著眼,眼淚靜靜地,不斷滑下來。28Please respect copyright.PENANAVUalmoH4dr
沒有聲音,也沒有顫抖。28Please respect copyright.PENANAmt1KBxDPbU
28Please respect copyright.PENANAEqokFAE0tJ
只有胸口,微微一下一下地疼著。28Please respect copyright.PENANA8iQEPvhhvn
28Please respect copyright.PENANACCsJFPwK74
她忽然想起自己曾經無數次,28Please respect copyright.PENANABRtpU8f8cw
在球場邊,在便利商店,在一個又一個不經意的黃昏裡,28Please respect copyright.PENANAE28YNvOvla
悄悄地等過那個人。28Please respect copyright.PENANAP7b5TmtK4z
28Please respect copyright.PENANAIMXwMXHSSz
等他的訊息。28Please respect copyright.PENANAUfPtBYImi1
等他的目光。28Please respect copyright.PENANAXsxAMKXY5J
等一個不一定會到來的回應。28Please respect copyright.PENANA5ObyAuK0CW
28Please respect copyright.PENANA0POr929rDn
不是為了要證明什麼,28Please respect copyright.PENANA1yuwQmgaWp
只是因為——28Please respect copyright.PENANADxjlVVCA2C
她真的很在意他。28Please respect copyright.PENANAnuDZJgS7LO
28Please respect copyright.PENANAuI5xuehZ91
那時候,她總是告訴自己:28Please respect copyright.PENANAuZrx5TgmJD
28Please respect copyright.PENANAySkzCx6eCJ
「沒關係的,我可以等。」28Please respect copyright.PENANAslRKylajgF
28Please respect copyright.PENANApuNpOk3KDg
直到今天,她才第一次承認,28Please respect copyright.PENANAB2pyVuc9sK
原來那些輕描淡寫的等,28Please respect copyright.PENANALoDG5qtjOK
從來都不是輕的。28Please respect copyright.PENANA8X2RQdD8hK
28Please respect copyright.PENANAqtmBNaMKCJ
媽媽的手掌還在輕輕地拍著她的背。沒有催促,也沒有要求她快點振作。28Please respect copyright.PENANA4BQ2Z8kh9y
只是一遍又一遍,溫柔地拍著她的背。28Please respect copyright.PENANA6DupzFCAeo
28Please respect copyright.PENANAVP42ukI5dE
外面的風聲輕輕吹過,屋子裡只剩下心跳的聲音,和媽媽溫暖而堅定的擁抱。
ns216.73.216.109da2