保母車照例送她回家,在熟悉的巷口停下。星野莉奈道了謝,自己拎著包包下車,朝家的門口走去。52Please respect copyright.PENANAm8TuAxflN4
52Please respect copyright.PENANAYhG83dHyxQ
夜裡的風很輕,路燈把影子拉得很長。她聽見鞋跟在路面上輕輕敲出的聲響,一聲一聲,孤獨得像在空白的紙上打字。52Please respect copyright.PENANAqp3mMwUchY
52Please respect copyright.PENANA9Suc6WhtKo
進了家門,星野莉奈換上室內拖鞋,動作輕得幾乎聽不見聲音。52Please respect copyright.PENANAqHBeWv5hJW
52Please respect copyright.PENANAq0iQeAkpzf
包包放在玄關的小桌上,她頓了頓,還是小心地擺正,把背帶理順。52Please respect copyright.PENANA5mNM748qXN
52Please respect copyright.PENANACINcBk0rmo
外套掛好,扣子一顆一顆扣上。收拾得,像在收拾自己。52Please respect copyright.PENANAqNJgYFRpyi
52Please respect copyright.PENANAgeLY0ccVW3
她取出放在外套口袋裡的手機,走到客廳,放在長桌上,靜靜坐下。52Please respect copyright.PENANAQvT4e0sap7
客廳很安靜,只有冰箱運轉的低鳴聲在耳邊繞。52Please respect copyright.PENANARhbgLu02ap
52Please respect copyright.PENANABjJtnTUuZW
星野莉奈抱著膝蓋,坐在沙發的一角,手指輕輕摳著自己衣服上的線頭。52Please respect copyright.PENANAqzlkd4Djwt
52Please respect copyright.PENANACuqSroaU3g
過了很久,她才伸手拿起手機。52Please respect copyright.PENANAYrszJZfWAO
52Please respect copyright.PENANAbQVpbzbKWv
打開通訊軟體,滑到最上方那個置頂的對話框。52Please respect copyright.PENANAz8kWoDDSOn
52Please respect copyright.PENANAmo6k7RbOOB
上一次的訊息還停留在五天前,在他們要去球賽前,只有一行簡短的「你在球場上的樣子真的超帥」。52Please respect copyright.PENANAkG7lGojXAD
52Please respect copyright.PENANAApEwJNiQ6L
只有已讀標記,沒有新的回覆。52Please respect copyright.PENANAa1GDvSuLqO
52Please respect copyright.PENANAsw05ciLH3s
她盯著那個對話框看了很久很久。指尖滑動到輸入欄,敲了幾個字,又慢慢刪掉。52Please respect copyright.PENANAnMHm54nc8h
52Please respect copyright.PENANA0OLoUmB5BI
想說什麼呢?52Please respect copyright.PENANAyybxLjZBjL
說「你看起來很好」嗎?52Please respect copyright.PENANACUh3wrcNRn
太多餘了——他會看到,但也不一定會回。52Please respect copyright.PENANAR3fLZnFaef
52Please respect copyright.PENANAYxNgayCWTo
說「我今天也有努力喔」?52Please respect copyright.PENANAa92Tu17V8t
會不會像是在邀功?要期待人家回什麼?52Please respect copyright.PENANAjf3zFa5ZrX
52Please respect copyright.PENANAq3t7GC2JuS
還是問「你的比賽怎麼樣」?52Please respect copyright.PENANArK0yzHM5o8
「你有沒有揍那個前鋒了」?52Please respect copyright.PENANAGezPTXoOFJ
52Please respect copyright.PENANAIdfuMPvvlO
可是他可能沒空詳細說他們的賽況;也沒有理由真的去揍那個前鋒。52Please respect copyright.PENANAP1ssqUPHjR
52Please respect copyright.PENANACONVBMGIFT
那——要不要乾脆只傳一個表情符號?52Please respect copyright.PENANA5xb8mtzBfD
一個不會被誤會、也不會太明顯的微笑?52Please respect copyright.PENANAnYO0jIFpQv
52Please respect copyright.PENANATTAczctBiz
還是——52Please respect copyright.PENANAbtOhx7UnH2
什麼都不說,只顯示上線狀態,讓他知道,她還在這裡。52Please respect copyright.PENANAPUyTeq3q6g
52Please respect copyright.PENANAFCqaBQ44N8
還在這裡,一個人。52Please respect copyright.PENANAneWoSKgchy
52Please respect copyright.PENANAP1gZFAnci6
手機螢幕因為長時間沒有操作,自動暗了下來。52Please respect copyright.PENANATocLl4mABt
52Please respect copyright.PENANAxExfNoiBea
星野莉奈沒有再打開。52Please respect copyright.PENANAEgDtwBhoKv
她把手機翻面扣在桌上,怕再看到什麼,又怕什麼都沒有。52Please respect copyright.PENANAGrheQ72mbT
52Please respect copyright.PENANAkkIAruz2kR
然後,她慢慢縮回沙發的角落,把自己抱得更小。52Please respect copyright.PENANArxoohFMKez
外面的風輕輕吹過陽台的門縫,帶來一點夜裡的冷意。52Please respect copyright.PENANAODSqkXpuGe
52Please respect copyright.PENANAC4pMXnw384
她靠著沙發背,閉上眼睛。52Please respect copyright.PENANA0t9ClV1JZr
52Please respect copyright.PENANACKshlM2kVx
沒有哭。52Please respect copyright.PENANA41p6T1X7JQ
52Please respect copyright.PENANA9jjc4UTQ4v
也沒有期待誰會來敲門。52Please respect copyright.PENANAbjaPQCB7st
只是靜靜地,和自己待在這個空蕩蕩的客廳裡。52Please respect copyright.PENANAHNbWkX3yno
52Please respect copyright.PENANAjPlgI8etkS
就像很多個夜晚一樣。52Please respect copyright.PENANAk2Xp1hSX94
52Please respect copyright.PENANA8ds8oELZ1h
她一直都是這樣走過來的。52Please respect copyright.PENANAKvE7EeEfpY
52Please respect copyright.PENANA9fvP8svaL3
這次也可以。52Please respect copyright.PENANA7pp0zzhENK
52Please respect copyright.PENANAml48g1tVcf
「莉奈?」52Please respect copyright.PENANAd1QrbZnm70
52Please respect copyright.PENANAK6KnScuAkz
星野莉奈把眼睛睜開,看見媽媽穿著家居服,手上拿著溫熱的巧克力牛奶和提拉米蘇切片蛋糕,還有一小盒切好的水果,輕手輕腳地走下樓來。52Please respect copyright.PENANAp8GveMeGrx
52Please respect copyright.PENANApXAdtIoJ41
「聽到聲音了,才放心。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAEYXL5r21fn
52Please respect copyright.PENANAWKbfeuXaFV
她邊說邊靠近,像是怕驚動什麼一樣,動作溫柔又輕。52Please respect copyright.PENANAPNIvvLgC3V
52Please respect copyright.PENANAzydbztZvNM
「今天回來時順路看到,就買了一點。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAXbh8vPsxM2
52Please respect copyright.PENANAQAqJqDsKlu
媽媽輕描淡寫地笑著,把東西放在茶几上。52Please respect copyright.PENANAvVBCnwHy0y
52Please respect copyright.PENANAfVMVT1rr1x
「我可是藏得很辛苦,才沒被妳爸爸偷拿去吃呢。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAxMLyLN9EKE
52Please respect copyright.PENANA8TBbYbkPpa
星野莉奈點點頭,沒說話。52Please respect copyright.PENANAmBfAmHTRNz
52Please respect copyright.PENANAJ7sRwAqozg
「趁熱熱的喝,比較好喝。」52Please respect copyright.PENANApDDq0AdMtv
52Please respect copyright.PENANA0kuF2gehMy
星野莉奈視線停在那杯巧克力牛奶上,杯緣冒著微微熱氣。旁邊提拉米蘇蛋糕的高脂肪乳酪,上面還填蓋一層層奶油——52Please respect copyright.PENANAdDBLBctF4X
52Please respect copyright.PENANAeL7R9V9gia
「不急著變得更好,今天先吃飽就好。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAquUhp8Afzg
52Please respect copyright.PENANA1sabNGSmXk
媽媽笑了笑,拍拍她的手背。52Please respect copyright.PENANA8gaq7jMK0w
52Please respect copyright.PENANAxPAQyWMaFi
星野莉奈抬起頭,視線越過媽媽的肩膀,落在牆上的那張照片——52Please respect copyright.PENANAR0evcmKfAL
此刻照片裡的她,正穿著家居服站在自己面前,笑容跟牆上照片模特兒一模一樣——眼神一樣溫柔堅定,聲音一樣輕。52Please respect copyright.PENANA73KsBYQUVl
52Please respect copyright.PENANAs4wwFJQchR
她鼻尖微微發酸,輕輕點頭。52Please respect copyright.PENANAfOa2Kqajt2
52Please respect copyright.PENANAIGeb4LYHYR
星野莉奈一直都知道,自己崇拜的那個人——不是因為她站在鎂光燈下,而是因為每一個像現在這樣的時刻。52Please respect copyright.PENANAqmKDKxzX5O
52Please respect copyright.PENANAg46Uh740Sx
媽媽在她對面的單人沙發坐下,輕輕舒了一口氣,像累了很久,終於可以休息一下。52Please respect copyright.PENANAjf9yzBbgmn
52Please respect copyright.PENANAzQMuwMO9Kc
過了好一會兒,她才開口,語氣又輕又帶著一點笑意:52Please respect copyright.PENANADFOhB8VgmQ
52Please respect copyright.PENANAEx2iDLpaUe
「還在想小冴啊?」52Please respect copyright.PENANAynfXOCm8yT
52Please respect copyright.PENANAo57zJ0yXjo
言語裡帶著寵溺,就像提到什麼頑皮又惹人喜歡的小動物。52Please respect copyright.PENANA5d7qNh6E3H
52Please respect copyright.PENANALmPPQf2APy
星野莉奈怔了一下,眼眶瞬間酸了。低下頭,小小地吸了一口氣,沒回話。52Please respect copyright.PENANAhYx56LDFth
52Please respect copyright.PENANAXqsQsydzJF
媽媽沒有逼問,只是歪著頭,笑得更溫柔了些,是心疼,又笑她太傻、太認真。52Please respect copyright.PENANAaSDVJSRnLi
52Please respect copyright.PENANA1E60wJtZMw
「那孩子啊,從小就不太會說話,悶悶的;嘴巴硬得要命,心卻軟得不得了。明明什麼都放在心上,偏偏開口的時候,說出來的都是會惹人誤會的話。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAsJluhQxFGT
52Please respect copyright.PENANAUr4M0dViUz
她笑了一下,沒什麼無奈,彷彿在說自家孩子,再麻煩都覺得可愛。52Please respect copyright.PENANARroA6YyaAJ
52Please respect copyright.PENANAD1w1atzxix
「傻得很可愛。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAlld0SzZwxq
52Please respect copyright.PENANA1ocKSs0vgV
媽媽靠進沙發椅背,像在說一個輕輕的故事。52Please respect copyright.PENANAV0V9cZAkOc
52Please respect copyright.PENANAfKkusYpPqk
「偏偏妳就看得出來,他其實一直有在注意身邊的事——只是他不習慣出聲,不習慣被綁住。就像那天我看他來家裡,鞋子擺得整整齊齊的,手上東西也沒忘記拿,話雖然不多,但我說一句,他都聽得進去。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAzuphmOtH65
52Please respect copyright.PENANAVBYlYB21ke
星野莉奈咬著唇,肩膀微微顫了一下。52Please respect copyright.PENANAUazHXH9iFZ
52Please respect copyright.PENANANmxu31Fzfg
「冴那孩子不會說喜歡妳,不會說想妳,也不會主動牽手⋯⋯但每次妳跌倒了,都是他站在妳後面,手放在妳背上,等妳自己站起來——從小就是這樣呢。」52Please respect copyright.PENANA0pCjxr2Dog
52Please respect copyright.PENANAlXIgcZ0aNA
星野莉奈很安靜,雙手卻把曲起的雙膝抱得更緊。52Please respect copyright.PENANAreaULZ2t6g
媽媽靜靜看了她一會兒,然後緩緩地站起來,走到她身邊。52Please respect copyright.PENANALWPgw5vhbw
52Please respect copyright.PENANAIkpXZK7sme
什麼都沒說,只是坐下,輕輕把她摟進懷裡。52Please respect copyright.PENANAeC8APsnNbV
52Please respect copyright.PENANALjxhfzSPKM
沒有太用力,也沒有多餘的語言。52Please respect copyright.PENANA3M3UiaEvcL
只是這麼靜靜地,把她抱住。52Please respect copyright.PENANA4zjOg08XHI
52Please respect copyright.PENANAAIpPxfV0wO
一開始星野莉奈還僵著,像是不太習慣。52Please respect copyright.PENANAoEVh6Yd3c3
但很快,她慢慢地,把額頭靠進媽媽的肩膀。像終於找到可以喘氣的地方。52Please respect copyright.PENANAMFY2ih875C
52Please respect copyright.PENANA9or43fcOF0
媽媽一隻手輕輕拍著她的背,低低地說:52Please respect copyright.PENANA5zDXsAQ7lz
52Please respect copyright.PENANADr3RjIq7JS
「辛苦了,寶貝。真的很辛苦了。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAa1CIOIvrcc
52Please respect copyright.PENANACOQn06TN2H
星野莉奈緊緊閉著眼,眼淚無聲地滑下來。52Please respect copyright.PENANAxAreFvOW7U
52Please respect copyright.PENANAXyL3t0J8yI
媽媽輕輕拍著星野莉奈的背,過了一會兒,輕聲笑了:52Please respect copyright.PENANA3yXk7kgdiu
52Please respect copyright.PENANAvP6TL2r9dx
「媽媽啊,年輕的時候也有過喔。」52Please respect copyright.PENANArojYvX1b7N
52Please respect copyright.PENANAbNxlVViQ6a
星野莉奈動了動,沒有抬頭,但她聽見了。媽媽的手一邊順著她的背,一邊慢慢地說:52Please respect copyright.PENANAWAJlLKwZ8w
52Please respect copyright.PENANAnsxLSIf9Cf
「那時候,我還是新人模特兒,剛開始走紅。接了很多廣告,也拍了人生第一本寫真集。那本是跟一位很有名的攝影師合作的,風格偏紀實、比較像是在記錄那時候的我,沒有太多妝、也沒有太多設計——只是陽光、素顏,還有一些比較生活感的場景。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAlj84g26pVD
52Please respect copyright.PENANAUEWoPikimY
她頓了一下,像在回想那段時間的味道。52Please respect copyright.PENANA4mE2AP1AwM
52Please respect copyright.PENANAGB0KrnO4Cc
「但外界的聲音很難聽。什麼天生好命啦、靠人脈啦、會炒作啦⋯⋯說得好像我所有的努力都不是我自己的一樣。那時我也年輕,不太會反駁,只能一直拍、一直撐,讓自己撐到那些聲音沒辦法再把我抹掉。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAStrloZmVu7
52Please respect copyright.PENANA6kq57XPIV2
她笑了笑,語氣帶著一點無奈,又有點溫柔:52Please respect copyright.PENANAWoYkfJqbhL
52Please respect copyright.PENANA9SNc5cwaZq
「那時候啊,唯一相信我、支持我的,就是妳爸爸。他還只是個小小的攝影助理,沒什麼話語權——但每次拍照,他都特別認真幫我找角度、打光,什麼都不多說,卻用行動讓我知道,我不是一個人在對抗這個世界。」52Please respect copyright.PENANArtlYsLo5T8
52Please respect copyright.PENANAKdyjVfk2ge
媽媽低頭親了親星野莉奈的髮頂,聲音低低地,像是把一個秘密輕輕放進她耳朵裡:52Please respect copyright.PENANAErJDrfdsc7
52Please respect copyright.PENANA7wre8RGKVg
「所以啊,妳現在這樣難過,是很正常的。不是妳做錯了什麼,也不是妳不夠好。是這個世界,有時候就是這麼吵、這麼粗糙。」52Please respect copyright.PENANABwOaj93eHU
52Please respect copyright.PENANAxCXn1rqZdM
她停頓了一下,又笑了笑,語氣變得更溫柔:52Please respect copyright.PENANA5kvEKcsZvO
52Please respect copyright.PENANASETOopeAmn
「我一直都知道,妳活得很自主,走路很穩,不太需要別人扶——也一直以為,給妳空間、讓妳自由,就是對妳最好的支持。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAVUo2V8NbkK
52Please respect copyright.PENANAAz33bQw1Fu
媽媽輕輕收緊了擁抱,語氣像嘆息又像自問自答:52Please respect copyright.PENANACaHumAlLg7
52Please respect copyright.PENANABIF5P40S1O
「但是啊⋯⋯就算是最會走路的小孩,有時候也會想被抱一下吧。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAOvOJekGg2P
52Please respect copyright.PENANAedJmUNQC5T
星野莉奈緊緊咬著唇,肩膀又顫了一下。媽媽輕輕拍拍她的背,接著說:52Please respect copyright.PENANAnpTGP9xyWE
52Please respect copyright.PENANA5vwsL2iU5e
「鈴也是啊。那孩子,特別有正義感。她知道妳不想被誤會、不想傷害任何人,所以她什麼都想擋在自己前面——讓妳可以專心做妳自己。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAeULgGofPxC
52Please respect copyright.PENANAaX2Iwxif7N
媽媽的呼吸很輕,輕到不帶任何情緒:52Please respect copyright.PENANAyoDRuAlbHU
52Please respect copyright.PENANAjkyML5dyoX
「而小冴呢⋯⋯很早就決定好怎麼走他的人生了。妳不能拉住他,但妳可以在他停下來的時候,剛好在那裡⋯⋯他不是會說出『我需要妳』的那種人,但那不代表他不需要。」52Please respect copyright.PENANA6E9MLjXwko
52Please respect copyright.PENANAkqOhKoDmw6
星野莉奈伸手輕輕抓住媽媽的衣角。媽媽溫柔而堅定地說:52Please respect copyright.PENANAjZLID3UJdl
52Please respect copyright.PENANAyJyRwI52R8
「妳啊,真的做得很好了。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAnfZ7MmNVgu
52Please respect copyright.PENANAITHtqaDDzH
媽媽低笑了一下,帶著一點調皮的寵溺:52Please respect copyright.PENANAjE3paiT6Nm
52Please respect copyright.PENANAYV2x2wjHGH
「誰叫咱們家女兒眼光這麼好,偏偏喜歡上那麼獨立、又不太會說話的小傻瓜呢?」52Please respect copyright.PENANAygYwIQbaYg
52Please respect copyright.PENANABCbn51tDI8
她閉著眼,眼淚靜靜地,不斷滑下來。52Please respect copyright.PENANAM8jX7QphxO
沒有聲音,也沒有顫抖。52Please respect copyright.PENANATTbeaUAgOn
52Please respect copyright.PENANAhTJBwGadWi
只有胸口,微微一下一下地疼著。52Please respect copyright.PENANAtglmDw9z6u
52Please respect copyright.PENANAJhRknWBw1Q
她忽然想起自己曾經無數次,52Please respect copyright.PENANAGGdtzSk8jZ
在球場邊,在便利商店,在一個又一個不經意的黃昏裡,52Please respect copyright.PENANA88JiYqAxx3
悄悄地等過那個人。52Please respect copyright.PENANAwmKnuihzsM
52Please respect copyright.PENANAj76xw3jVBq
等他的訊息。52Please respect copyright.PENANANvIpYDQxuc
等他的目光。52Please respect copyright.PENANA6UCpYYIVUK
等一個不一定會到來的回應。52Please respect copyright.PENANAPvcUoh5hX2
52Please respect copyright.PENANAyZ6zsr7dke
不是為了要證明什麼,52Please respect copyright.PENANA59DlabcS3W
只是因為——52Please respect copyright.PENANAhkdBTqzO9l
她真的很在意他。52Please respect copyright.PENANAOslb8WztlX
52Please respect copyright.PENANATPyogV2i8X
那時候,她總是告訴自己:52Please respect copyright.PENANADGMjbfX69A
52Please respect copyright.PENANAQd8wBeMZIv
「沒關係的,我可以等。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAUNvCzrQvKN
52Please respect copyright.PENANAIRaLVmQorh
直到今天,她才第一次承認,52Please respect copyright.PENANAMI7qALXDVF
原來那些輕描淡寫的等,52Please respect copyright.PENANAK9OIUX9L4R
從來都不是輕的。52Please respect copyright.PENANAmAtJCKCuQZ
52Please respect copyright.PENANAH53hq7Z1ej
媽媽的手掌還在輕輕地拍著她的背。沒有催促,也沒有要求她快點振作。52Please respect copyright.PENANAVvzTlF3qRj
只是一遍又一遍,溫柔地拍著她的背。52Please respect copyright.PENANA7i1WaF6yks
52Please respect copyright.PENANAAZq9N8oiq1
外面的風聲輕輕吹過,屋子裡只剩下心跳的聲音,和媽媽溫暖而堅定的擁抱。
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