From: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWkv40dWFY
To: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTW73kAUkH
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjx0AQukLA
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMb08tTAiJq
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWoKk0XSAG
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3j4P5XHQii
To: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiME5STRrW1
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6afJMX3f7b
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyDONeV59F
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUSswtFmB4
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3892xMGke
To: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGgXUwOvuz
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqFZ0RoF6R
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vUpeIFqTu
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTpTPJSczg
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJLd9lV0KJ
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVEDCBIQwT
To: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvxxuD90T9
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhM0RrjHKlC
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPVThSJVkk
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfiL8UZ8uX
To: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTd4WmPKWa4
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUXOwULcIZ
and never speak of feelings again.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSscpUHi5M3
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡji5yhGar1E
what would you write in a breakup text?42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpcx7GiAlu
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWo60599JA
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Fm5WlUpWf
To: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyn8Ebh2f4l
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYfpPTKAT9
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDdH8PSj4l
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fmz8qkD1c
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADaxMa4J09
To: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpu0eWO51nw
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQ5bsgud9a
that was weirdly lovely.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcQwulBlDk
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5QMs8SNTl
was there a form i missed?42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7Jm123ak5
should i be sending muffins?
— maya42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUD3W6soR2N
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwqzPEQpFG
To: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6MfGeweXE
Subject: it’s official
congrats.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHisdEbrsw
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQep8k60EP
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgtU2wBK4b
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzrHM5jqc3
friend of font victims
42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7BqY3IR6d
