From: [email protected]18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGZwKxmccm
To: [email protected]18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ19G0O0PLH
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCUMgSzDRY
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpraLSV6WYr
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSXqtwNUyt
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpz328y4gRp
To: [email protected]18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGMhojUwTr
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CWWPEqCoJ
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSQkaE09Un
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dbaB0IeOi
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcfqrYNY4d
To: [email protected]18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzspTc4Yiy
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65XE7o9Oou
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGdcJ03mtr
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xStGXI0Wm
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOOmuFCJJX
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIeQhF1AVf
To: [email protected]18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYIpDjla4H
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPRX5GiICr
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8Th5isFal
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EQelfe8nw
To: [email protected]18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykF3GnRdFO
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCypgMruS6u
and never speak of feelings again.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhtmZB9OQ0
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCUxTBSg8i
what would you write in a breakup text?18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLlMy1L2H6
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDijyHc69kp
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvwPrraCtV
To: [email protected]18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmhVvpPIxQ
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyckqgj8dwk
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4YUAAWm76
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqAx38rTnF
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQeAfSME2Aj
To: [email protected]18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vrdvJZcku
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcTT14Vw6v
that was weirdly lovely.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YypQzTmzI
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8zp8WLUMx
was there a form i missed?18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSHhuCPAR9
should i be sending muffins?
— maya18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LeZSwu7IH
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArZi4w8bDF
To: [email protected]18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamIVogxk66
Subject: it’s official
congrats.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExp61alhV3
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95zCZFMUlN
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDQUG3wA71
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qeTRIncjd
friend of font victims
18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3u2xBqBnhQ
