From: [email protected]120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnN6zcQnUTb
To: [email protected]120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLfUdoF6V3
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpo4ONdPzq
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhl5V7vOAcL
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRWKAiNVO6
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbX9utRShB
To: [email protected]120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8WrerMUjY
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4y0qPdJAh0
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDST9qPK7i
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXMPCBvs3V
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4yFXAosor
To: [email protected]120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2a9TdLa2ep
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oASKIMqft
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTOe708Ozd
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNa964p4Rr
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeTVDYA8XU
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4DANq8Ze7
To: [email protected]120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVcQmR2od5
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTmghaOUMX
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0RvXhMf8b
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEWuvYzSFW
To: [email protected]120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41MjLM9taE
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cJCqeEYVU
and never speak of feelings again.120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCcxWUQz6e
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEn08NibDcz
what would you write in a breakup text?120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewDLFrQvq5
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RYRziUPXc
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVo3b97NnF
To: [email protected]120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGosU6kZHsT
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbJsrGqhgV
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPJ3ek2XWo
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIXPHU6jMK
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwEMPyq4TP
To: [email protected]120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBAerFzF4c
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUeKMYNMuJg
that was weirdly lovely.120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVaHWiRhO4
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DZRBUWSoL
was there a form i missed?120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2Sr7qOhVa
should i be sending muffins?
— maya120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaW2ISxohV
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcWDualBTP
To: [email protected]120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXbytHmvgG
Subject: it’s official
congrats.120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWv3ASiwoj
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPh6qYQGWW
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgGJrJq4B2
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAWcvrHTwl
friend of font victims
120Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyQ5YoIWUr
