From: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2NbFh5I7a
To: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsWJLpbhUo
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IOWOvm7Vd
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgHgIA04av
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgBw7I4Z51
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtBO5CGY7f
To: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVGf5E947r
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbglYuPXMz
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQwEsJWtZJ
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGykU1RHuO
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2w9Tz9ngtz
To: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbf4kaJd6aQ
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ307nhrwqWy
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LdkjpmvIK
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXoFYWNfBjE
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfyuNZad4E
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg70MWUnRX0
To: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTr8a72Qdq
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHTSIAl39u
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHq66Sp60ft
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdNCEmBZIJ
To: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oFHhNU4Ks
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfDR2haAJ7
and never speak of feelings again.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgPBG0kFVw
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡli1cpFVcjr
what would you write in a breakup text?42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZ4WeBaiqj
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbsFrM4xrI
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsrtrCLUXs
To: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFoY5uKs07
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpL1WMN3Lkt
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRmc4RwZNz
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbH9MGXkPQX
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hyicaypPk
To: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxBe2kli0R
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5DkjekDf1
that was weirdly lovely.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGkXhNK5jh
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCxj78jvhG
was there a form i missed?42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OM5oj0Kxc
should i be sending muffins?
— maya42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiw2jUpFks
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCso1TOBlkV
To: [email protected]42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeG3v2Pif04
Subject: it’s official
congrats.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmB4WQiMHlO
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaRg75a64u
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGvtgCPh1M
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0RaXUeK1t
friend of font victims
42Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeP5rRYecX
