好幾年時間入面，我都好糾結一個問題。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8siwkB5r8L
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIvrT1QKCE
係我嘅不安懷疑令芯玥走，定係佢同個男仔一早曖昧緊先會令我懷疑？974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJBBbBwUG9
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtUsekeSvQ
分手未夠兩個星期，就有條新仔，仲要一早就無取消張機票，兩個星期入面就一齊再去旅行？974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKJ1Mf8FrI
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVz4KUL01Ln
點解一開始要呃我取消咗？974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFT3mLEykZ
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3oUoaBgQo
可能因為唔想被人罰錢，所以留住張機票先，但就算佢嚟都唔會被我知，直至話取消咗等我死一條心。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDiOmYfu4z
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4U7hClQv0G
點知分手之後好快搵到另一個，咪轉做同新嗰個去囉。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtC3xewrxfe
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjq32m2ZfCi
定係由同我分手嗰陣已經計劃好同條新仔去旅行，所以無取消張機票呢？974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsx491clKm
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExjKYx8mbN
好多我無辦法確定嘅答案，令我每日個腦都七國咁亂。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPU3jPLT0z
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOlrpBkEsT
唯一可以肯定嘅只有一樣嘢，就係喺機票依個問題上，芯玥呃咗我。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbavoPteypI
嗰陣喺台灣自己一個，日喊夜喊，搞到喉嚨勁痛。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJTAIsPEZo
人生路不熟又唔去睇醫生，淨係求其買啲喉糖食，舒服少少又喊過。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWYh3HLRWn
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvcyoXUBXv
當時棟宿舍多咗個鬧鬼傳聞，話夜晚走廊盡頭會聽到男人喊聲，其實就係我嚟。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWo4lf0cL71
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYlLvid0Gk
喊吓喊吓發覺把聲沙咗，都無乜為意，聲沙好小事、喉嚨痛好小事以為自己會好，點知就無再好過。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwylHmtHGzP
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBCFjJkFlb
嗰次分手，驚動阿爸阿媽打電話過嚟，阿媽同其他朋友各自又喺聖誕節過嚟搵我。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopd5hsYndU
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTR3z9bbJ29
我去食煙，聽講可以排解寂寞。但呼出嘅只有空虛。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqjhOngf6N
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhXtAXdAMh
我去飲酒，酒入愁腸愁更愁。我以為食酒止到喊，點知之後好幾年都係飲醉就諗起芯玥再喊過。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoXUQy7ePF
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdZVWdu2dA
我去隊草，但佢只係放大晒我嘅傷心，喉嚨被火燒嘅感覺更強，見到任何男女都變成芯玥同條新仔，一邊恥笑我一邊愈走愈遠。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFOMO8Lis8
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg425w70EFS
後來每個朋友都話，嗰幾年我個樣好似隨時會死咁。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPee7AYuRM
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5t42fH257
但唯獨自殺我無做到，可能因為分手嗰日我就搵晒所有朋友同親人大肆宣揚，諗返起都覺得醜，不過每個人都安慰我。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeobtzoxWt3
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hkalhoxhu
雖然安慰係無補於事，但我都慶幸大家會安慰我。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlE60siqECJ
同芯玥一齊嗰陣我已經講晒畀朋友聽，分手嗰陣都講晒，之後再無一個女朋友係我會主動同班朋友提起。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmRA2pqQHR
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtOmn4wPwo
蠔哥話：「留有用之軀，無謂送頭吖。你死咗佢會唔會在意先？唔會吖嘛，咁你死嚟做乜先？」974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfo6Cnlmwl
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzhKzp5VMA
或者係逃避痛苦。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpNeTLAiqd
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48UhnXFiLv
雞腎話：「痛苦總有一日會過，到時你就會慶幸自己當初無死到，原來個世界仲係咁靚。」974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmcOcJagB1
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtKfCqqlJW
蘿蔔話：「計我話，快啲搵個第二個啦。」974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9FYAoYGPb
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡej48aee0ot
結果我頹廢咗好耐，每日都想死但又要控制自己，先發明咗「由瞓醒開始將所有嘢諗到最壞」嘅方法幫自己留意日常微細嘅美好。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvinu3iGRt
974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6LdYLXe0M
所以你問我有無自殺？我係每日都想死持續咗一年半，但事實上又的確係咩都無做過。974Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZ3lI14u5G
