《請跟我交往！拜託啦！》 - 第一章體育課！

大家好，我叫柳困，今年十七歲，是一個看似普通的正常高中生。

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不過，我卻擁有一個不尋常的秘密──我仍然保有前世的記憶。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dZQVJuEky
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不對，不只前世……就連前前世、前前前世、前前前前世都還記憶猶新。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCPOD8Xa6l
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問我為什麼？414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoZTwqLVPY
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原因很簡單。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtpVs393oQ
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因為我是個單身狗。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ysaAh0W0Q
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在死後的世界，也就是「魂界」，神曾經立下一個規定：要談過戀愛，才能在轉生前消除前世的記憶。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5juKE9a8Ej
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「沒談過戀愛怎麼能算是活過啊？」那一天，神斜坐在王座上，興高采烈地宣布，「從今天開始，到死前還沒談過戀愛的，一律不准清除自己的記憶！」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9psR8CFcxp
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從那之後，世間開始不時出現保留著前世記憶的神童，他們也都成功地在重生後談了場轟轟烈烈的戀愛，並在死後轉生前順利清除了自己的記憶。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvRtfgrKIS
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除了我以外。

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「喂，我說你啊，」在再次轉生到人間，成為柳困之前，神把我拉到魂界的角落，用責備但幸災樂禍的語氣對我說，「你要加油欸，你已經連續單身了十輩子了，學弟妹全都畢業了，就只剩你一個人還卡在這裡，不覺得羞恥嗎？」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FBYWjxZl9
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「少囉唆！」我惱怒道，「妳也不想想到底是誰的問題！」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHNfgjGaOh
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「哎呀哎呀，現在是怪我囉？」神擺出無辜的表情。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9F1ZFZr6q
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「這輩子！我這輩子一定會脫單的！」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSFPXuQ4HP
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「你上次也是這麼說。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3iAFctX0G
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「閉嘴！才沒有！」我面紅耳赤，不等祂說完就直接跳進轉生之門。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8ZdEB2PsM
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在那之後的十六年後，我進入高中，開始體驗人生中的第十一次青春期。我準備好要應付戀愛這場激烈的戰爭，也希望自己能在這一次的青春期成功脫魯。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgURcG79Hi
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這個想法，只持續到進入教室的那一刻，遇見「她」為止。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhh5n12tngK
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「柳困！該起床了啊！」一陣衝擊襲向趴在桌上的我，我一個重心不穩隨著椅子整個人倒在教室冰涼的地板上。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBQ9pvzOKa
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「妳搞什麼啊！」我抱怨，起身拍掉制服上沾到的灰塵，「現在不是還在午休時間嗎？」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaYTRyxBao
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「才不是，這節是外堂課欸。」說話的是一位臉頰微微泛紅的女學生。她的右腳舉著，明顯就是剛把我踹下椅子的樣子。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJvO4JVnmH
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我默默的翻白眼，但是沒有回嘴，避免招來一頓拳頭。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzZtQsMvkj
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我轉頭看了看四周，同學們都走光了，只剩下空蕩的桌椅。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7T9x5YRBU0
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「走囉，體育課。」女學生紅著臉帶頭走出教室，我則跟在她後面。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZCImLu9kt
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什麼？你說她看起來就像是對我有意思，問我為什麼不跟她交往就好了？414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRcJGIF28A
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我們再次回到剛剛的話題。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2u4muZCbfv
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在高一時，我遇見了「她」。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUshExLxVI
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她有著一頭紫色的長直髮，看到人總是臉頰泛紅，一副害羞的表情，還擁有一個美麗的名字：賴妍。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGFHOJOD22
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剛開始，全班的男學生都急著對賴妍獻殷勤，不過到了下學期的時候對她告白的人卻只剩下其他班的學生。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx61Mm1eDD8
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原因很單純：因為這個人很恐怖。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWkfUO7W2M
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恐怖到甚至被取了「瘋狗」這個外號。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZfZ6SH5wY
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至於一天到晚臉頰泛紅的原因也不是因為「為了要操控他人」這種複雜的理由，而是因為「酒精」。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITMDqqBChh
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賴妍是我在到目前為止的十一個人生裡面，見過唯一一個可以在午餐時間拿整瓶五十度烈酒配完白飯的女人。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiTjZl7uqX
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永遠沒人知道她喝醉之後下一件會做出什麼超乎常理的事。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlleknqjcuf
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我們兩人快步走到操場，看見體育老師早就已經帶完操，放同學去打球了，所以我直接略過暖身，自己抓了一顆地上的籃球，走到籃球場練習投籃。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOqmP7qQav
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「同學！」我投進第三球時，體育老師吹起哨子，「請不要在操場喝小米酒！」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89auKFy2zz
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我馬上轉頭，看見一旁換好體育服的賴妍把一隻腳放在長椅上，仰起頭抓著酒瓶猛灌。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGY5B1igRA

如果把背景換成公園，那她看起來就像一個普通的公園醉漢。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSLM5G3RYk
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但是這裡是學校啊！

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「可是老師，我在暖身欸。」賴妍把酒一口氣喝完然後發出「噗哈」的聲音，接著用手背豪氣的抹抹嘴，最後啐了一口痰在操場外的草皮上。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbow2m7Xgfy
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這不是完全就是公園裡的醉漢嗎！414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbStswcL4E5
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「那邊那位同學！」體育老師又朝另一邊大喊，「請不要在體育課投擲燃燒瓶！」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3jT0N32NY
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「可是老師，我在暖身耶。」手裡握著燃燒瓶正準備要丟的男同學停下動作。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1zYn1Mpb7
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這貨的名字叫簡澄，不知為何，他對燃燒瓶有著近乎癡狂的異常執著，不論是何種問題、處境都會想使用燃燒瓶來解決。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjD6MZYiWV
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對他來說，世界上不存在他的燃燒瓶解決不了的事物。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDfgOEMK5C
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有時候問題甚至還真的能夠解決，不過這只讓他變本加厲。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMpLW1PRLK
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像是現在。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHb1mXfBawL
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你根本是在幫其他同學暖身吧！414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjRVJFMtOP
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你旁邊的女同學已經快要哭出來了啊！414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1JwaOUK8y
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體育老師也快來阻止一下他吧！414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyA2Pb19NG8
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「那暖身完記得收起來喔。」體育老師又繼續回頭看他的閣樓雜誌。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwc9PBYWREf
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你這體育老師也太淡定了吧！414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YbIKRf0NJ
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至少先給我把閣樓雜誌收起來啊！414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCQIF17Zxg
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在簡澄下手之前，另一位男同學抓住了他的手腕。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyJahKgu9t
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「住手吧，簡澄boy，這樣不cool喔。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUNbgyqOUC

男同學一手抓住簡澄，一手按在自己的臉上。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EVywmgytQ
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「可惡，最麻煩的傢伙出現了…」簡澄低聲抱怨。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRuFV6KQYh
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「你的惡行，就由我冥界的魔之眷屬 · 暗爪的歐威爾，依你的行為施以制ㄘㄞ────」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuTIlG73tc
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「三岐，你的錢包掉了。」我走過去，撿起掉在暗爪的歐威爾身旁的錢包。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡModnUgyQ5n
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「……我不是三岐，我是鋼爪的歐威爾。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgenUOHOoL
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「你剛剛說暗爪。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YRjPet4U1
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「不，柳困boy，我很清楚我是誰，」他一手放在胸前，一手放在身後，雙腳交叉向我行禮。

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「我，是冥界的邪王 · 鋼爪的麥歐爾，出自於冥界的望族，進入人間是為了要拯救我的妹妹，也就是冥界的公主，鎖鏈的康妮。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxfaQtdmcb
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「你本來說歐威爾。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFryGpu5RcP
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「那、那是一時口誤……」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiRELq3wqj
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「你，」我嚴肅的對著他說，「根本不知道自己是誰對吧？」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCF4EJMrWod
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「不…我不……」他按著額頭，露出痛苦的神色，在地上打滾。「不行……！『魂』…滾出我的腦海啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgnreJ2SS9
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「邪王好弱。」我發牢騷。話說回來，魂界也沒有邪王這種東西就是了。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02hvKF4sfB
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「這個給你，振作起來吧，」簡澄把手中的燃燒瓶遞給他，為他加油打氣，「你可沒有這麼容易倒下！因為……414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3whpyqdVC1
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「因為你可是……我的宿敵啊。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSO8fWhce7z
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簡澄露出了豪氣的笑容，把手伸向在地上的三岐。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCo4JC5rbb
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三岐擦乾淚水，回握住簡澄的手，正準備從地上爬起的時候，「有沒有人～看到我的～瓶～～～～子～～～～～～～～～」被喝的爛醉的賴妍一腳踩在後腦。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaC1rESheqd
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「你不是說只要暖身嗎！」「被」趴在地上的三岐吐槽。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4U3OcT0tC
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「喔呀…？」賴妍往下一看，「早安啊三岐同學～在那裡玩會弄髒身體喔？」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63LqyfWx7w
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「妳先從我身上下來啊！」三岐掙扎。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2xqKciRD6
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「喔喔喔喔！好像在玩衝浪喔！」賴妍努力維持平衡。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBITAxhnsi
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「妳這是……在噗喔小看我身為暗印者的力量嗎……？」三岐說到一半還吃到土。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbbpBOBfaR
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「衝浪了喔喔喔喔喔！」賴妍開心的大笑。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpwn6UDCkU
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她根本就沒在聽啊！414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpvCElkJ4q
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「同學！」體育老師從看雜誌的姿勢抬頭，

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「不要霸凌有精神障礙的同學好嗎！」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQn8kAOYEh
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他只是中二病還沒好而已啊！為什麼變成精神障礙了！414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNh5DjFQ24T
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「可是老師你看三岐，」在賴妍腳下的三岐已經整張臉埋在土裡了，「他玩的很開心耶。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78ZpWJKsQF
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「唔唔唔唔唔唔唔唔！」三岐口齒不清的哀嚎。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUuXTdY6BZ
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「注意不要讓同學受傷喔。」體育老師繼續看閣樓雜誌。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5I6lYSiYQ
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這已經不是受傷的問題了吧！414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxYibW6TE3
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所以說給我把雜誌收起來啊！414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakIKPEfYEw
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「夠唔喔了吧！」臉不斷砸向地板的三岐好不容易擠出一句話。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnIKnUS7iJ
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「…………」賴妍臉一僵，慢慢低頭，看著她腳底下不斷扭動的三岐。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4B4N6BquXK
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「我、我的衝浪板會說話…好噁心喔……」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJK14yex7A
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她眼眶泛紅，吸了一次鼻子。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsrQNsJRIW
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兩次。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0LdvQsriQ
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「嗚嗚………………」賴妍開始不顧一切地大哭。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zBNHtvz6N
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVS2XUtaVR

「三岐同學真壞。」

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「好糟糕喔。」

414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq00yMI5ccn

「竟然害奇怪的東西哭了。」旁邊圍觀的同學們開始交頭接耳。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8fiifYzs6
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說別人是奇怪的東西也太過份了吧！414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyw8fodEHRx
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUrJRwG9Ro

「所以現在是我的問題囉！」三岐好不容易從嚎啕大哭的賴妍腳下逃開。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTb4wAWNn8q
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHAmZ7Pptx

「喂！誰來安慰她一下啊！」一位男同學慌張的大喊。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvehitY9r4T
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「我能讓他冷靜一下。」簡澄拿出燃燒瓶。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCbFtzS4Ct
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「你只是要讓她熱起來吧！」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAcu1rBXsG
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJ7Na1Z5te

「被吾封印的眷屬呦，僅從吾之召喚───」三岐振振有詞。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9AErJPpx01
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「你是要安慰她還是收了她啊啊！」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqS06g5lLc0
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「收了她。」三岐露出一副理所當然的表情。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYoCPLXK29
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「你們根本是來亂的吧！」你們別亂搞，我等等還要收尾啊！414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDG8N7D0ZIi
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「年輕人們。」不知道何時走到我們旁邊的體育老師開口了，「就憑你們是無法解決這種毀滅性天災的。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zCMoj5fAh
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IBKlqNdvS

「為什麼又從奇怪的東西變成毀滅性天災！」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqcGbmmBsr
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PIVhZEYhm

「因為奇怪的東西放久了本來就會變成毀滅性天災。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcfXGMMJkU
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDxRTsmjwA

我不是在問這個啊啊啊啊啊！414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlr1NDmA6Sl
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjiBjzGvYy

老師又開口說：「現在，我就讓你們看看，真正的『大人的辦法』。」414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQd1Jna7K3
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqFt8C1H18

「『大人的辦法』……」簡澄看著老師嚴肅的臉，吞了口口水。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4xbOv4WRK
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「賴妍同學。」他走到賴妍面前。賴妍因為震驚而暫時忘記了哭泣。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbeJKQWKF3
414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5w9sDQg6kb

話說我們的體育老師是一位看上去年過四十的大叔，比班上所有除了我以外的同學都還要早經歷了傳說中的青春期，再加上已經在這所高中任職了十年以上，所以應該也有足夠的能力與經驗能解決這種事ㄑ────414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuz3fwdPCk
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「你看，這是丁丁。」他脫下褲子。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mZj8V6vfA
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    是真正意義上的『讓你們看看』啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpDL6Gwqmq
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  當日結果：414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BWOCvWtKf

賴妍平安無事（哭累了被女同學背回教室）。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUf2UbNzja
簡澄打電話報警，體育老師於上課中被警察抓走，兩人前往警局做筆錄。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYdiYDmBVi
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三岐臉部異常腫脹，被帶去了醫務室。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXVmuqVoGx
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其他同學（包括柳困）於下一節正常上課。414Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGQvGk9XyK
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柳困依然單身。

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第一章 體育課！

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第一章體育課！