同學們面面相覷。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSwzRwcV2m
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bPjAVX4mo

「那個……您是不是走錯教室了呢？」身為班長的我起身詢問。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXYpUgs9oc
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76Qhil8HWq

「啊，你們的數學老師請假，所以今天是我代課喔。」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpAVOGIzKP
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYXbPiSkJD

「咦咦？沒用的老東西請假？」賴妍驚訝的問。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhG51LMI8g
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuOsFlK9Un

「請不要叫數學老師沒用的老東西。」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkC19sG2fPe
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwz1xBomjkG

「那改成老不羞好了。」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2XqVnD7qi
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdW0G1iQFO

「更糟糕了啊！」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpIPlCAYze
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIaOjKZoKT

「咳，總之，」代課老師乾咳一聲打斷我們的對話，「請各位打開課本第……為什麼桌上有酒瓶？」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovp2gX8wa4
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPA9XIjVZa

「因為上一節是化學課。」正在製作燃燒瓶的簡澄說。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiadbsqnJaU
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfFoScifYK

「那你桌上正在燒的酒精燈是怎樣？」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiEBHS0r9Q
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FZp0yel62

「老師，它正在暖身。」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8w1XqyAbPR
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmIGm17kwZ

「它是要暖什麼身啊！給我拿回去實驗室放好！」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDphDRz3Uvp
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rHGhQwafn

「我要去！」賴妍自告奮勇的起身。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3Wr2okWrM
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAwMCjl5qZ

「給我坐下，妳不值得信賴。」我不耐煩的說。「三岐，你去放。」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcOKXvsugJ
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLE7y1CLVRw

「那我改姓三岐。」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98q3rwnj2P
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WqLp3d51z

「才不是這個意思！」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOvfRM8xLE
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8072MPmTSX

「而且為什麼是三岐！」剛剛還趴著的三岐抗議。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEd6PVS7jjg
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjtKyi8Ptd

「少囉唆！快點給我去放！」我用課本敲三岐的頭，「別跟著搗亂上課秩序好嗎？」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjLzq5LF16
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWI58Ly4bf

「汝等下級生物，竟敢命令本元帥，看我痛啊啊啊啊啊啊！」三岐的話還沒說完就被我再次用力敲頭，不過這次用的是不鏽鋼水壺。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFBjHplq7N
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTWtTbXufF

「元帥好弱。」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oHbTG6Rcz
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xwBRcG7Qv

「你根本是想殺了我吧！」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8UTQ90TPr
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiADLFccRiv

「同學們！請安靜！」代課老師看起來有些惱火。「全部給我翻開課本！」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMV5inL6eT
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwKEVDuLOM

「老師。」賴妍突然嚴肅的開口，「你覺得數學的意義到底是什麼？數學又是為何而存在？」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBR38NqbUv8
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsbFytLjhV

「數學是為何而存在…………？」老師陷入沉思。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVidy2dUSw
  除了賴妍之外的同學們臉色一沉。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BRAwCzZGS
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA89xuPo22G

「老師！別中計啊！」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dO9TIQrNB
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDli2p4jkB

「這傢伙的腦子才不會思考這種深奧的東西呢！」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwmx8YU69T
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsDrRRZPWr

「她只是單純不想上數學課而已啊！」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8vkxs2t9S
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfx7SYK6DS9

    不過老師抬起手制止了那些警告他的同學。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhpL3HruCW
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0cOARWEsB

「我認為……」在思考片刻之後，老師開口，

「數學是使生活變得更方便的工具。」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJQp0ihY6g
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnumw2KP4x3

「真的是這樣嗎？」賴妍問。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnfqIL6jJI
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZC3WXvEwH

「古埃及人與巴比倫人靠著幾何學的幫助，建造出了許多壯觀的建築物！牛頓發明的微積分也間接造福了許多人類！」老師越說越激動，「所以我才會選擇就讀數學系，成為數學老師！數學對我來說就是世界的真理！就是絕對的信仰！」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6uWyjLGwC
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqxkqLcTN0

「那……如果我說，」賴妍緩緩開口，「我能反駁你的論點呢？」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVAwDcjpfK
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVW9dMsd8mA

「什──」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpuTBdoQvL
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemLIHLimTZ

「如果我能證明…………數學並不是世界的真理呢？」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFQ1UU4CIq
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFyFR1hdmD

「臭小鬼！妳明白妳在說什麼嗎！妳說的話是對神的褻瀆！」代課老師憤怒地吼道。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXm5Ac802f
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQUve48n1C

「那個，班長，」坐在我後面的男同學輕聲對我說，「這部不是日常番嗎？為什麼會出現戰鬥番的台詞？」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpMkzgn2Sk
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuZvgLISRe

「我也很好奇啊！而且現在不是數學課嗎！」

  

  最重要的是，代課老師已經在不知不覺間步入了賴妍「不想上課」的節奏之中，這才是她被稱為瘋狗的最大原因。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFXe34TdwU
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbGu7CNQmZ

    真正恐怖的地方還在後頭。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZX4QULL8xA
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsPZgEJie9

「老師……你知道數學的英文，Math的意義，其實是Mental Abuse To Humans，也就是人類精神虐待的意思喔？」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOVkqiNEbi
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqc8S03GnF

「那只是討厭數學的人提出的可悲巧合而已！」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqtcTa4atd
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiomxENvGap

    賴妍歪頭。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzRoKjP4eG
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz61FaW7CfM

「如果數學是真理，為什麼有人會討厭祂呢？」她問道。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDOQLCpwSO
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99fya7LBHa

「因為世界上總是有許多自以為是的人！他們只因為生活不如預期，就怪罪到神聖的信仰上面！」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuZQSWSutR
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6yXxlQxYX

「生活不如預期？你是指生活中的事發生無法用真理解釋的情況嗎？還是生活並沒有想像中的便利？」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMBBIdKYFu
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8m8UekG2hu

「世上所有的事情一定都有辦法用真理來說明！」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmO77XaDeEt
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3skPpOdQX

「真的嗎？」賴妍正色道，「那我舉個簡單的例子吧。您有看過商店中『買二送一』的活動嗎？」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdaHJtIQ4E
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dbKtn2qyZ

「當然有。」代課老師不耐煩地回答。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaDwZQe0Ru
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XrBTWa39k

「那麼一加一等於幾？這只是單純的數學問題，不是腦筋急轉彎喔。」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDvQdqlsJT
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPRgXgRzV5

「一加一等於二。」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIgKV0BNEh
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIWApoW4qY

「啊咧？奇怪了？」賴妍故意用困惑的語氣說到，「我只付了兩個物品的價錢，為什麼我得到了三倍的利潤？好奇怪吶～」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaSt44jFgj
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGj17cF1vgx

「……咦？」老師愣住了。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fAMyggt6H
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpsBNISw5M

「這樣子算式就變成了『一加一等於三』而不是真理所說的二了呢。」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02IlCtURj3
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkvxJL2p07

「什…怎麼會……」代課老師開始感到恐慌。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96GBsu87On
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUzCqt7m54

「老師別中計啊！那只是一種行銷手法而已啊！」我大喊。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRL4QPPXB9S
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYzKUWg7wv

「我…但是、但是一加一應該……還是等於二啊…………？」代課老師緩緩抬頭，用困惑而渙散的眼神看著我，就像一位瀕臨崩潰的精神病患者。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67ngiTQB6J
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HYYk29QjK

    完蛋了。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafnAsEy4YW
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKowK6tQb7m

「我再舉一個例子吧。」賴妍再次開口。「剛剛說了一加一等於三，但是這也不是正確答案。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgIYcmvQnM
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsJJgUZD5Q

「您應該也知道結婚是什麼吧？就是長期的一對一賣春契約。」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESnYhIpfPY
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2X2ptxPwIa

「才不是這樣！」我吐槽。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBTU6WLByq
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemIHi2d9yI

「好奇怪吶。住在我家隔壁的王叔叔明明結婚了，為什麼最近兩個月，在王阿姨不在的週五晚上，還會出現另外六個女人陪他過夜呢？」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkfDquVbrd
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCUOBNLqJg

「這種事情你應該早點去跟王阿姨說才對吧！」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ395haKa3it
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1WmZJo2RC

「咦咦，」賴妍不理我，「一加一不是等於三嗎？為什麼同時又等於八呢？」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74yYDjh7Pe
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUQcPf2yZa

「為什麼啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師抱住頭，驚慌失措地尖叫。「為什麼真理要遺棄我啊啊啊啊！」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9u9XAN0U1
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiIUK3ncyq

「沒錯，就是因為人們被你所說的真理拋棄，才會轉而討厭，甚至憎恨數學。對他們來說，數學不只不是世界上的真理，更不是讓生活變得更方便的工具！」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdgX4KaYxG
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmw3ZjYJsh

    賴妍深呼吸，補上了最後一擊：「對他們來說，數學只是讓生活更不方便的枷鎖！只是阻礙人類發展的、根本沒有存在必要的、無用垃圾而已啊！」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80GarjFBtE
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡli70g5uI8k

「啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊……」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXrpB5xlXJ
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ahGEGwBGy

    老師緩緩蹲下，雙手抱住膝蓋，露出自己長久以來深信的事情在一夕之間被摧毀的表情。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw327s3BKoO
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd52t3thiAb

  這時，去化學教室放酒精燈的三岐回來了。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIS4j9M7sG2

    老師彷彿看見了希望一般，朝著三岐跑過去，抓住了他的肩膀，用力地前後搖動。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWtf2Asp1S
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovUn3sQi74

「同學！一加一等於多少！」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bgMPj2TKt
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6x3A867N3

「咦？」在狀況外的三岐很錯愕。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpaBiB3KBz
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRq8Okm2wn

    賴妍露出了勝利的微笑，坐回位子上，舒服的翹起二郎腿，抓著桌上的白蘭地仰頭灌了一大口。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAhYWCxlfk
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaAeF0UZeC

「到底等於多少啊啊啊啊啊！！！」代課老師瘋狂地大喊。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VzkLf8f0Z
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9DTqziKt9

「等、等於五十……」一天到晚吃麥O勞的三岐結結巴巴的回答。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTW6g8AEpi
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfupykMMXJ

「三等於八、八等於五十……等式應該不成立才…三又等於五十……啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師崩潰了，尖叫著衝出了教室。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2k3RD9fVEm
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLpIXKF4zP

    全班盯著三岐。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSXifydG4T
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkeE3IxaZCO

「欸？我做錯什麼了嗎？」三岐很錯愕。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQ2vo46528
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5XA6n2mmq

    賴妍抬頭看了一眼教室牆上的時鐘。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJW71NNbQh
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2Vq3mWBAq

「呦喜！多賺到了半小時下課時間。」她握拳。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5G1yuFxIf
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefLWqUPqr2

「呦喜妳個大頭！他被你弄壞了啦！」我慌張地大喊，「全班快點出去幫忙找代課老師啊！」279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvd9tXVgy5
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Wl0tdH0DH
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67ENqfpW5V

當日結果：279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPPnsGbiiH
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqBJjcn6fN

    在數學科辦公室全體數學老師的幫忙下，於放學前在校舍頂樓的花圃角落發現了喃喃自語著「三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十我被神拋棄了嗚嗚嗚我要成為一棵用費波納契數列整齊排列的植物三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十…」的代課老師，並送到附近醫院的精神科治療。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojrAmwZ3rZ
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxdD1pDmSt

    賴妍被記了一支大過（目前總共七支）。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ602st4Y1R6
279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSagfJgFXHD

    柳困依然單身。279Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUR19vFXKl