《請跟我交往！拜託啦！》 - 第一章體育課！

大家好，我叫柳困，今年十七歲，是一個看似普通的正常高中生。

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不過，我卻擁有一個不尋常的秘密──我仍然保有前世的記憶。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60dbRDQDL2
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不對，不只前世……就連前前世、前前前世、前前前前世都還記憶猶新。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35BVQdsB8C
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問我為什麼？423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQRvckl9BG
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原因很簡單。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3OG0ulRf1
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因為我是個單身狗。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GuHNnbhHr
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在死後的世界，也就是「魂界」，神曾經立下一個規定：要談過戀愛，才能在轉生前消除前世的記憶。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFArQdeR9A
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「沒談過戀愛怎麼能算是活過啊？」那一天，神斜坐在王座上，興高采烈地宣布，「從今天開始，到死前還沒談過戀愛的，一律不准清除自己的記憶！」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDf6gz0uTj
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從那之後，世間開始不時出現保留著前世記憶的神童，他們也都成功地在重生後談了場轟轟烈烈的戀愛，並在死後轉生前順利清除了自己的記憶。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNf8jb9BHi
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除了我以外。

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「喂，我說你啊，」在再次轉生到人間，成為柳困之前，神把我拉到魂界的角落，用責備但幸災樂禍的語氣對我說，「你要加油欸，你已經連續單身了十輩子了，學弟妹全都畢業了，就只剩你一個人還卡在這裡，不覺得羞恥嗎？」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1ORWgt9Uh
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「少囉唆！」我惱怒道，「妳也不想想到底是誰的問題！」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkhGAfXpnS
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「哎呀哎呀，現在是怪我囉？」神擺出無辜的表情。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MU2STf94K
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「這輩子！我這輩子一定會脫單的！」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbICtLMCtX
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「你上次也是這麼說。」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5U6Uf4bJV
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「閉嘴！才沒有！」我面紅耳赤，不等祂說完就直接跳進轉生之門。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSQek6vocm
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在那之後的十六年後，我進入高中，開始體驗人生中的第十一次青春期。我準備好要應付戀愛這場激烈的戰爭，也希望自己能在這一次的青春期成功脫魯。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6GlFPY8oc
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這個想法，只持續到進入教室的那一刻，遇見「她」為止。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpW5ByNX0U
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「柳困！該起床了啊！」一陣衝擊襲向趴在桌上的我，我一個重心不穩隨著椅子整個人倒在教室冰涼的地板上。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfEjwBAbPl
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「妳搞什麼啊！」我抱怨，起身拍掉制服上沾到的灰塵，「現在不是還在午休時間嗎？」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrv1KUDvQ8
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「才不是，這節是外堂課欸。」說話的是一位臉頰微微泛紅的女學生。她的右腳舉著，明顯就是剛把我踹下椅子的樣子。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSS8kxKwLX
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我默默的翻白眼，但是沒有回嘴，避免招來一頓拳頭。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRoswoG8AV
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我轉頭看了看四周，同學們都走光了，只剩下空蕩的桌椅。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYUYFez6ZX
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「走囉，體育課。」女學生紅著臉帶頭走出教室，我則跟在她後面。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkTVnUpYyM
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什麼？你說她看起來就像是對我有意思，問我為什麼不跟她交往就好了？423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3W7mNzfMa
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我們再次回到剛剛的話題。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjx057eiz6
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在高一時，我遇見了「她」。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUtsC4ggYW
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她有著一頭紫色的長直髮，看到人總是臉頰泛紅，一副害羞的表情，還擁有一個美麗的名字：賴妍。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQosZQEsto
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剛開始，全班的男學生都急著對賴妍獻殷勤，不過到了下學期的時候對她告白的人卻只剩下其他班的學生。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtbXls8RTM
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原因很單純：因為這個人很恐怖。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoC69l1Eij9
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恐怖到甚至被取了「瘋狗」這個外號。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUJZ55cBlI
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至於一天到晚臉頰泛紅的原因也不是因為「為了要操控他人」這種複雜的理由，而是因為「酒精」。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRD09o6qYAu
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賴妍是我在到目前為止的十一個人生裡面，見過唯一一個可以在午餐時間拿整瓶五十度烈酒配完白飯的女人。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOtNBO8vey
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永遠沒人知道她喝醉之後下一件會做出什麼超乎常理的事。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU12E97Fieq
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我們兩人快步走到操場，看見體育老師早就已經帶完操，放同學去打球了，所以我直接略過暖身，自己抓了一顆地上的籃球，走到籃球場練習投籃。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjpm1cIGXM
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「同學！」我投進第三球時，體育老師吹起哨子，「請不要在操場喝小米酒！」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtPtsL7BJN
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我馬上轉頭，看見一旁換好體育服的賴妍把一隻腳放在長椅上，仰起頭抓著酒瓶猛灌。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjLAAC9WAt

如果把背景換成公園，那她看起來就像一個普通的公園醉漢。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqlqKRKz2H
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但是這裡是學校啊！

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「可是老師，我在暖身欸。」賴妍把酒一口氣喝完然後發出「噗哈」的聲音，接著用手背豪氣的抹抹嘴，最後啐了一口痰在操場外的草皮上。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGf5OnUcQR
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這不是完全就是公園裡的醉漢嗎！423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtMa0suoHh
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「那邊那位同學！」體育老師又朝另一邊大喊，「請不要在體育課投擲燃燒瓶！」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FxvNyayJ6
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「可是老師，我在暖身耶。」手裡握著燃燒瓶正準備要丟的男同學停下動作。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXSNsid6MA
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這貨的名字叫簡澄，不知為何，他對燃燒瓶有著近乎癡狂的異常執著，不論是何種問題、處境都會想使用燃燒瓶來解決。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxdIprIbkN
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對他來說，世界上不存在他的燃燒瓶解決不了的事物。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpxPTo9UIt
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有時候問題甚至還真的能夠解決，不過這只讓他變本加厲。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpFLjuV9Bv
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像是現在。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oxgf7Gxjp
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你根本是在幫其他同學暖身吧！423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CgECkjVBf
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你旁邊的女同學已經快要哭出來了啊！423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghdfhRkZ1Y
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體育老師也快來阻止一下他吧！423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgFzY4aE6O
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「那暖身完記得收起來喔。」體育老師又繼續回頭看他的閣樓雜誌。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsAXljBznU
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你這體育老師也太淡定了吧！423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMoHqK5UtY
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至少先給我把閣樓雜誌收起來啊！423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrOZ6fbkCn
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在簡澄下手之前，另一位男同學抓住了他的手腕。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3264dLuBDh
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「住手吧，簡澄boy，這樣不cool喔。」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWpsgWYslz

男同學一手抓住簡澄，一手按在自己的臉上。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQQGthkO14
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「可惡，最麻煩的傢伙出現了…」簡澄低聲抱怨。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEFC3n5L1X
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「你的惡行，就由我冥界的魔之眷屬 · 暗爪的歐威爾，依你的行為施以制ㄘㄞ────」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYVSWkcheN
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「三岐，你的錢包掉了。」我走過去，撿起掉在暗爪的歐威爾身旁的錢包。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQiyJqWYt9
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「……我不是三岐，我是鋼爪的歐威爾。」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxipe9V9CiE
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「你剛剛說暗爪。」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLfnPr4zIA
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「不，柳困boy，我很清楚我是誰，」他一手放在胸前，一手放在身後，雙腳交叉向我行禮。

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「我，是冥界的邪王 · 鋼爪的麥歐爾，出自於冥界的望族，進入人間是為了要拯救我的妹妹，也就是冥界的公主，鎖鏈的康妮。」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmvgSTU8aM
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「你本來說歐威爾。」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQD7XmPnLd
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「那、那是一時口誤……」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ealTguFN9
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「你，」我嚴肅的對著他說，「根本不知道自己是誰對吧？」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxWZm21TMK
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「不…我不……」他按著額頭，露出痛苦的神色，在地上打滾。「不行……！『魂』…滾出我的腦海啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZxvyKlktK
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「邪王好弱。」我發牢騷。話說回來，魂界也沒有邪王這種東西就是了。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoXOZAYDiw
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「這個給你，振作起來吧，」簡澄把手中的燃燒瓶遞給他，為他加油打氣，「你可沒有這麼容易倒下！因為……423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkZlSZoQQq
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「因為你可是……我的宿敵啊。」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8vodkjzJB
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簡澄露出了豪氣的笑容，把手伸向在地上的三岐。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0KHITHiqJ
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三岐擦乾淚水，回握住簡澄的手，正準備從地上爬起的時候，「有沒有人～看到我的～瓶～～～～子～～～～～～～～～」被喝的爛醉的賴妍一腳踩在後腦。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBz9hNxbwT
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「你不是說只要暖身嗎！」「被」趴在地上的三岐吐槽。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZmHeCCWb7
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「喔呀…？」賴妍往下一看，「早安啊三岐同學～在那裡玩會弄髒身體喔？」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FKCUKE4Us
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「妳先從我身上下來啊！」三岐掙扎。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYuQsjE9qM
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「喔喔喔喔！好像在玩衝浪喔！」賴妍努力維持平衡。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjqTG1ULzS
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「妳這是……在噗喔小看我身為暗印者的力量嗎……？」三岐說到一半還吃到土。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSyjiRhw1s
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「衝浪了喔喔喔喔喔！」賴妍開心的大笑。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsMFa7oyF3
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她根本就沒在聽啊！423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5LdLq9dJE
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「同學！」體育老師從看雜誌的姿勢抬頭，

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「不要霸凌有精神障礙的同學好嗎！」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNYdCAHWvC
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他只是中二病還沒好而已啊！為什麼變成精神障礙了！423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFd3Bk5N1Le
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「可是老師你看三岐，」在賴妍腳下的三岐已經整張臉埋在土裡了，「他玩的很開心耶。」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweczTGvH5V
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「唔唔唔唔唔唔唔唔！」三岐口齒不清的哀嚎。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEK7v1IPPs2
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「注意不要讓同學受傷喔。」體育老師繼續看閣樓雜誌。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPN7jXF8T7
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這已經不是受傷的問題了吧！423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeR35cpLN6
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20jH3CbwxY

所以說給我把雜誌收起來啊！423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDIEi4wdjd
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1PHbTkJPU

「夠唔喔了吧！」臉不斷砸向地板的三岐好不容易擠出一句話。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPBizo89Jx
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「…………」賴妍臉一僵，慢慢低頭，看著她腳底下不斷扭動的三岐。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DDH0lQvLX
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNASdNiIrn

「我、我的衝浪板會說話…好噁心喔……」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWla0dzoI0
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkglXQ8XTm

她眼眶泛紅，吸了一次鼻子。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbFIJSCyxv
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兩次。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGC8agnpTuS
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「嗚嗚………………」賴妍開始不顧一切地大哭。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7e0Kj2EK6j
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45M50jmwh6

「三岐同學真壞。」

423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HfK729B03

「好糟糕喔。」

423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdg7rYseAx

「竟然害奇怪的東西哭了。」旁邊圍觀的同學們開始交頭接耳。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WooL7CKaw
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9edIPqmy17

說別人是奇怪的東西也太過份了吧！423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHdusetwBx
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdGwip4Kdd

「所以現在是我的問題囉！」三岐好不容易從嚎啕大哭的賴妍腳下逃開。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KN5OubEnC
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgMjKN7APN

「喂！誰來安慰她一下啊！」一位男同學慌張的大喊。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kLq64ILpM
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5vovoA3I8

「我能讓他冷靜一下。」簡澄拿出燃燒瓶。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhf3Z3WHKDF
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZniTYy4jR

「你只是要讓她熱起來吧！」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKd8Y2rPc4
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZHUcEKXgE

「被吾封印的眷屬呦，僅從吾之召喚───」三岐振振有詞。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xb8A19SyT
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「你是要安慰她還是收了她啊啊！」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhvvdn2B6N
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoy8J1EFO9

「收了她。」三岐露出一副理所當然的表情。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrHQ1STTSd
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8GnTy8r29

「你們根本是來亂的吧！」你們別亂搞，我等等還要收尾啊！423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHskOrRvKJ9
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlLyAKM1Rw

「年輕人們。」不知道何時走到我們旁邊的體育老師開口了，「就憑你們是無法解決這種毀滅性天災的。」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH661h1FjlL
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hRJC91Y6j

「為什麼又從奇怪的東西變成毀滅性天災！」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNhseIbHfv
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fn7FiRgfs

「因為奇怪的東西放久了本來就會變成毀滅性天災。」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKe0l6vmuPY
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wA0tUbHRA

我不是在問這個啊啊啊啊啊！423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoO799cy66
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KrUfxOkDa

老師又開口說：「現在，我就讓你們看看，真正的『大人的辦法』。」423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSITwnGupAL
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzalFW2Rrf

「『大人的辦法』……」簡澄看著老師嚴肅的臉，吞了口口水。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCILCm01Wyw
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OqjRDKySq

「賴妍同學。」他走到賴妍面前。賴妍因為震驚而暫時忘記了哭泣。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadYQXYArr9
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHLsDb4dXx

話說我們的體育老師是一位看上去年過四十的大叔，比班上所有除了我以外的同學都還要早經歷了傳說中的青春期，再加上已經在這所高中任職了十年以上，所以應該也有足夠的能力與經驗能解決這種事ㄑ────423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaDClEBtBf
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「你看，這是丁丁。」他脫下褲子。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UXmsZdngE
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MepLW28nW

    是真正意義上的『讓你們看看』啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxVmsYp3mj
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0f1DQhY27M
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  當日結果：423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQDbU9ngMD

賴妍平安無事（哭累了被女同學背回教室）。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7ZLIiqBJe
簡澄打電話報警，體育老師於上課中被警察抓走，兩人前往警局做筆錄。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvFvEx5XK2
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三岐臉部異常腫脹，被帶去了醫務室。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gVlnZfku4
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其他同學（包括柳困）於下一節正常上課。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmCJrGRanb
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柳困依然單身。

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第一章 體育課！

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第一章體育課！