Since the big cry fest over four weeks ago, my life has pretty much gone back to its usual state. I hardly even remember it anymore. I continue to work, eat, sleep, and shut the world out as I usually would.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA109aB2YDf
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWg4QOWOuhF
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sIMKUFFdu
There's only one minute problem; I've been avoiding David, and I'm sure as hell that he's noticed. How could he not notice that I haven't been available in over a month?638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXokdntBnS
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk17zCDqIvW
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSGtqFobqV
I let his calls ring out, and I don't call him back. I don't reply to his texts, or his WhatsApp messages. 638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudYyMDRWrn
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMo4GKo1lC
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKK5iqn8Oh
It's pathetic, really, but who can blame me? That night, I realised that I was beginning to feel something very strong for him, and I also realised that he had already begun to feel that way a long time ago.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡburYfKAr5G
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjwXvKH5qy
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BeSYXUdMq
as long as you stay here with me638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0R8AfBuPdU
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudxd7Sgzus
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjafzknrbVm
That's what he said after the wedding. He meant more than what was happening in that moment. I could feel it, and that night at Poetic Justice, I could see the way he looked at me, as if I meant the world to him.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0qxp845eL
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOw7Aq6FiVi
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3Rm7a5ZFI
This has to stop.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOx0plcsmcu
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiv8Lxbcyw
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuz5mac59iS
I sit on the edge of my bed and stretch, feeling that sharp pain in my pelvis again, and I yelp. It's been happening more frequently now, and it's getting worse. I really need to eat more.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xSJzNASiO
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxI1cBEZGPG
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjtcHozSW3
I get up, not knowing what I'm going to do today — I have no work — so I go to make some coffee. I'm just about to pick up the jar that is now placed safely on my kitchen counter, rather than high up in a cupboard, when I hear knocking on the door. Somehow, I know that it's him; it's as if I can feel his energy through the door. Still, as I pull the door open, I didn't expect his expression to be so... worried. My first guess would've been that he was angry, but here stands before me, a man who looks like he is on the verge of shitting himself.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoMV1agTGG
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKG3BAE97V5
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUBsrTXP7V
"Are you okay?"638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhYFZp039i
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VVQCA2yg0
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iWuMxbe2e
"Yeah," I say letting out a heavy sigh. It seems as if every time I think of him, he appears. "We need to talk."638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTv5VaC5p0m
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCTCYUL9tB
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7goSP0EuFg
I step aside to let him pass, and follow him to sit on one of the couches.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKydaZu0Md0
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEyNtCwlGv
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKf2Pm7cju
What the hell am I supposed to say? I don't love you? You're better of without me? It's not you, it's me? 638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpqT9DllgF
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxNSGWmVJB
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy50w7AP6ag
Instead of going with any of those options, I choose the best thing that I can think of.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGwolfICqW
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfIw5KYHEb
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ubIZU2vGf
"I don't want to do this anymore," I say to him, sounding like Rihanna.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsZIjsZVeb
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0gCH9nZj8
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNqzSiEmAg
I don't want to hurt you anymore. I can't give you what you need.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8llOsRx2j1
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOnsqOfhbz
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrs0SlRm4g
His eyebrows knot together in confusion. "Do what?"638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOzptD5Gy2
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrI0RsOs4m
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBapnJAESsR
"Us," I say, but he still looks confused, so I decide to elaborate. "I can't give you what you want."638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5u7awypEoH
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6UL2RzRC7
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnkQSM9TZe
He puts his hand on his forehead and rubs it, letting out a sigh.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclUiQUAXjb
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnNHh84VXS
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPRGGpEuv8
"Yes, you can."638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wpJ6ErhpQ
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWavNao62LB
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gbhzr80lQ
"David—" I interrupt, because to be honest, I'm tired of people telling me what I can and can't do; but then he throws something at me that I didn't see coming.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iLwEMkxo9
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tNhqULqGl
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFykpwx7CKE
"You can, but you don't want to. You're holding on to the past. There's a difference."638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAitMMS1pwp
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLd8q9ow9U
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztQjz2ZBO9
All of this is said with a look of sympathy on his face.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTNdU4Y5qf
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClpjBRT0LT
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLzsxzXUsT
To be honest, I can't tell him that he's lying, because he isn't. That's exactly what I'm doing; holding on to the past, to my dead lover who's ashes are kept in an urn under my bed, who I will never see again; but there's more to it. 638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtkoslTae7
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoncto76n9
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRIlVCkR0N
I'm afraid to love again. I'm afraid to lose again. If felt enough pain to last me an infinite amount of lifetimes and then some.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hQq60svsy
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8n7rihYthL
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2adnsP66S
"You're holding on to the past," he says, repeating himself. "I get it. You love him, probably infinitely more than you could ever love me; but do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone? Would he have wanted that?"638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoNnSylAc5
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsCmkJWkbR
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJjdZ9KODT
I stop and think for a second. Would Andrew have wanted that?638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCp3DxyOof
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKG9zhEKJM
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlp4spzCyPI
No, he wouldn't, because the last thing he said to me was "be happy, for me; live, for me." 638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBk3m1IRdiS
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1HkKZ2XT8
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcCqTSIEaE
I'm a disappointment to my dead boyfriend, because I can't get over my dead boyfriend. This is so fucked up.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2yo6UVwRd
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3kxrRUdqW
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2v4s88WcMk
I don't even realise that I'm sobbing until I'm in David's arms, and my face is in his chest; he's rubbing circles into the small of my back, just like he did four weeks ago.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1XfPdAjlR
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbB0yr7pMjl
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSXg5sfFgD
The sobs wrack my body so hard that my pelvis starts to hurt again, which causes me to groan.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpbDB3LxXT
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QJwTamkvN
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TC5GhOdri
"What's wrong?" 638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMH6Epp2NoB
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnNDJvMeAx
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbf2UFUWzZO
I take a few deep breaths, so that I can calm down; each time my breath hitches, I feel that sharp pain again.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1B7IOPhpTz
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErmMkcbGDD
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDrnUh3dUH
Once the sobs stop, leaving only tears flowing from my eyes, I speak.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgA6IEf9FLQ
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2PAKUvBOS
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4LfYGnE5Q
"My pelvis hurts. I feel pains whenever I don't eat enough."638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqU5WvfHPuh
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTp2pqwSsW3
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4slPIYENI
He gives me a disapproving look.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqvI0RddlS
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvJe2DzqGb
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXMLHcLD5i
"Are you anorexic?"638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMCdxTqczn
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEWEDf3Uyc
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbTewQBlqD
"Oh, god, no. I just only eat when I feel the urge to. The problem is that sometimes I feel the urge to eat once a day, or I feel hungry and I don't want to eat solid food, but there's no liquid food in the house. Other times, I stuff my face like a pig."638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUF4wDLREA
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnZnGVOTZB
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wbAGTOWvG
He looks at me like I'm the strangest creature on earth.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qmvK5We3L
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8pP6KTnbm
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGFFWJN6Dj
"Okay," he says in a resigned tone.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsRX2sppUG
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovGzLydQ41
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zW1YiKgwL
The tears are slowing down now, and I'm beginning to realise that David isn't going to just evaporate into thin air because I order him to.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtdo7NfyyX
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYULU4Rmsg
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCF7Iz7uyH
Almost as if he hears me, he smiles at me and says, "I'm not going anywhere, babe."638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSmfb3bZYp
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72dhydlsws
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7NpagZDRl
Not yet ready to accept that, I let out a sigh — then wince when my pelvis hurts again.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizjCDIm7Ol
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGc6Ajey6kx
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxnBu6MsOG
I ignore it.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeofCib14S
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy60eGc4K5Z
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJfS5Wth2m
"I don't want to get hurt again."638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuRg6rIuOw
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0i908jRPE
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVt6x9sl6nP
At this, he has nothing to say. What can he do? Promise me that he won't die? That would be a lie.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7F5KBIksn
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOocVruQW7e
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83UCYFdlHh
"I won't let that happen, and I can't give you what you want. I can't give you love."638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksN0VYO7un
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWF0X6PY6R
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzJcGrbyn9
He knows that he can't give me a legitimate reply to that. I've lost every important person in my life. He can't ask me to risk that happening again by becoming close to yet another person.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQY8g8zsnPg
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhp3lld0NLm
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqjKTIYaoP
"This is why I don't have friends. I don't date. I live on my own. I just cannot endure any more pain, David. Love is a weakness; it it my weakness. It feels amazing when you're with the person, but at that funeral? You feel so distraught, so hurt, you're in so much pain, that you feel as if you're being tortured to the point of death, but you aren't dying; you're stuck on the threshold between life and death yourself.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1HoA99W7Z
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRK5SpzZW8
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMgy0PJkrc
"When I love someone, I do it with my whole heart. Whether it is my friend, family or lover, it consumes me. I can't help it; so when I lose that person, it is absolutely devastating. I can't do it again.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bsWkSuDbD
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtreckAYDo
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gkTos3fPJ
"So please leave, David, because these feelings that I have? I refuse to allow them to blossom into full blown love, and I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already inevitably have."638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqKod2BNYh
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWi6RDtORp
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRp8lwOtlhf
He gets up, and I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I can also see the understanding. It feels like it takes years for him to cross the room and make it to the door.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFxCYbzDaN
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGYb9xv6Cs
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYLDoj7R6B
As he opens the door to leave, I know that I have done the right thing; I couldn't use him anymore.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2Nvf0eQvz
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Rz495yuSg
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2rMwczzi0
So why is it that I felt the urge to call him back?638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fvX7bPPGy
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37uTwQkKI5
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aflrIXGBu
***638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupVoz4bsVG
For the past two days, I've been doing everything to get David out of my mind; and I've been epically failing. Every time that it is most inconvenient for me, he just pops up into my head, out of nowhere.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgE4s2CtEZx
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiJ3kgZgZT
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HzBN39AHC
For example, right now, I'm at a photo shoot for a man who wanted a few portraits of himself, and I can't see the subject through the viewfinder.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MhPyLu3Tb
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscFdampITm
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4DuWSVWft
"Excuse me, can I get a glass of water? I'm parched."638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7Sd1EE5A6
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1H77RL2Z4Z
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFI1pwR7zG0
He smiles at me.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGI5jDhgw4
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgZFAQNsA7
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZHIbjcWBT
"Sure, hon."638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2P8cB1t6w
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tdzp8vw6y
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiu2xJHu1MY
He walks off, and like the masochist I am, I pull out my phone and read David's messages. So much for trying to forget him.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmDyz3tZCO
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpB6fLLAHd
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzaXXNFbPL
The very first ones:638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNk0wSJe97
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8MFdYv4of
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wW5aKRM8r
Hey! I miss you.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQqQsP0Dtq
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCwLk0URTSU
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWZIgQ7RSD
How about you come over to my house and sit on my face? 👅💦😉638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPibNjadRJB
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsnmkvUWNK
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIkkWkYkRe
Leah, I have a special present for you... 🍆💦638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsiVD37LOn
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8FTbgDRDk
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZ9ZyuEP3p
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRaEraIKCO
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZMlPBi8VF
Then, when he realised that I wasn't reading or replying to my texts:638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDq4mR0fIA
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWhV4yyTBl
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa99bRqFPE2
Hey babe, why aren't you answering my texts?638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzGkfj5nFm
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDDZFJO8by
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjJQe7jdTV
Are you okay?638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7o3zSHtWk
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2g4ScdWgRT
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySn7maX2eM
Did I do something to piss you off?638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48wf2lJwEH
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqHsTgsx73
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIFOhhjMF3
Then, he caught on to the real reason why I wasn't replying:638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugC3xN1E6L
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBmHJF7APr
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cKOJX5Wzo
If it's about the other night, please remember, it's okay to feel.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjJdp9Fvf7
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mFeahZxHK
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxL2DKfUjiy
Then, something that caught me completely off guard:638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAYat2J6UI
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XfhEllHk0
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmAUTiZPXS
Leah, I've peen wanting to tell you this for a while; I wanted to tell you this at the poetry night, but I didn't know how. I love you.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cwTVeUJ6N
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNUtQ7wFaF
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6CAHwYr4h
Suddenly, it feels as if all of the oxygen has been removed from the air; as if I'm dying from CO2 poisoning, and my heart is beating so hard and fast, it feels as if it is trying to jackhammer its way out of my chest.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjyakiUN21
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfv6hunM6J
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMyuNO6G7C
"No," I whisper, my voice cracking, and I let out a sob when I work out the date on which he sent the text. 638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡso1P5QRd03
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7y6gvTE6z
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBIHRAhIto
Two weeks before he came to see me. 638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCHHb6KI3J
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDZ3ow73iL
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXpvR4sRM2
Of course, my fucking pelvis begins to act up again, but the pain is barely noticeable over the pain I feel at knowing the extent to which I've hurt him. I knew that he felt strongly about me, but love?638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5x7HcJGjM
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQorYhUmwQt
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCubyX0ew34
"Leah?" Trevor says, with the glass of water in his hand.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Jo7yBDvYZ
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Qry3BipWA
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdk62raf891
I wipe my face quickly.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfnnFX5m2Y
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qRoQpNWPB
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemLRbOmI2T
"It's okay. I'm fine."638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZXxHBGQeO
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFsmSjLZ1c
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqmJRpv2hL
"You don't look fine," he says, with concern on his face, handing me the water.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oNbDbTslf
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtEK5F2UU1
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMSfFhlQpw
"Don't worry about me. Lets get back to work."638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6mqxPJKH3
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtl4RVYUcGo
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7rBkI2Eky
***638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dj3pQdxoF
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcfvVSPlUd
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77QogmQ46s
I'm in David's driveway. I know I shouldn't be here after promising myself that I'll leave him alone, but I feel as if I have to say something to him after reading his confession, even though I know that seeing him in person again will probably end badly for both of us.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47OqG6a2rK
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzP0AoashYI
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkK1V2PYN8n
Still, I called him to inform him that I wanted to talk, and he invited me over.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PlgG17afk
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiPDVJhiHr
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT45VepXN43
I can't get out of the car. I'm fucking nervous out of my mind. What the hell am I supposed to even say to him? 638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYqKkrf20d
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppG2TkKl7L
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZX61cFhx7C
I don't even realise how long I've been here, until I here knocking on my car window. I jump slightly, yelping in fright, before realising that it's only David. I open the car door slowly.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSwmEx3OuY
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZN4UpVOinK
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7Ram38eLc
"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to spend the night in the car," he comments.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UeDf3TyrW
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLXexf7AbD
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsaJWF38Sl
I close my eyes as I stand and lock my car.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYRruqEeGE
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFOMgIskaq
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKxkouhYX6
"You finally read my messages," he states.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpvkZEIKMi
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHtMQDwvhS
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29KkWD7qik
"Yes," I reply, realising that the ticks must have turned blue.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwx6UUlHfHu
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkahKrGjnE
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHZeLsDRym
I just look at him, and he looks back. Now that I'm looking for it, I can see it plain as day. He loves me. 638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGA1g1Bj88B
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrTcxddRsg
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡer9C2XYWX3
If I'm going to be honest, I should've seen this one coming. He always wants to cuddle, he always looks for an excuse to sleep in the same bed as me. Now that I think about it, most men who are trying to keep feelings out of a relationship would rather sleep on their couch.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWAsjJHR4x
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdDzeKfukD
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukJWWZHUYZ
He fucking stalked me, followed me to a water party.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1HuHXeSUR
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJ2X3mnDlJ
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvIiv6Toem
"When did you start having feelings for me?"638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95bPYxSBPn
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlOyEuJYsb
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnDNo94pmK
He exhales loudly, and then looks at me as if he knows that I won't like the answer.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LwJRfMptN
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpf5eh3RYf2
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHR1icvV07F
"That night that we had dinner together, right here."638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjVgu83SeZ
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKXNHjqpNB
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczwvnHKrrF
Wow. That was an actual date. A romantic date. I feel like a dumb fuck.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JiLotkEdq
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxFTJMqUny
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJ5T9jsq4Z
He loves me, but I don't love him. Despite the fact that I feel drawn to him, the fact that I want him, not just sexually, I don't love him. Not yet.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVx9qZ5Mp7e
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCPXsWe0cJ
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ533UayE4FG
I'm attached; I swore that I wouldn't let this happen, but I've become emotionally attached. 638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokdbAcu1HD
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pZuJgYEfW
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiriqUhTLEk
"Leah, are you really sure that you want to spend the rest of your life alone?" he asks, interrupting my train of thought. I can't even think about the weight of that question, because he continues.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7nrLcnVPi
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJSMAG7Srx
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEAVn3rnbu
"You say that you're afraid of pain, but right now, you're hurting yourself. You aren't happy. I know it's nothing compared to the pain of losing someone, but at least when you let other people in, you'll have some light, people to laugh with and cry with. 638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeit81WWyuT
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOBTX28E7E
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpW3GoGMLK
So I'm asking you again: do you want to spend the rest of your life alone?"638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sJptK5790
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLahpTZWed
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnws3ZRTZl
I look at him, and I can't say anything; I'm speechless. Everything he just said makes sense, and it hurts, because I know that either way, I'm screwed. 638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65yyW1dI2o
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IASaoVDg1
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfEhD8wnH7
If I say "no", he'll hold onto it the way that Jack should have held on to that lifeboat in Titanic, and if I say "yes", that may not be completely true, because I don't know anymore. I hate being alone, but I fear emotional pain. 638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAtl4KSrDW
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrPjtNo2ZP
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBN4qMxrsL
I just stand there, silent. Instead of trying to talk, I do the only thing that I can do in this moment; I hug him, and to my elation, he wholeheartedly returns the gesture.638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtw07t37jrm
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡab2WeHFsPy
638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyNEPT7uSD
A/N638Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIzr0bPJEr
Happy Valentines Day! ❤️😘💋
ns216.73.216.148da2
