Since the big cry fest over four weeks ago, my life has pretty much gone back to its usual state. I hardly even remember it anymore. I continue to work, eat, sleep, and shut the world out as I usually would.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFHKfOCk2O
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUaZtVVvY5
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULrcZZBsng
There's only one minute problem; I've been avoiding David, and I'm sure as hell that he's noticed. How could he not notice that I haven't been available in over a month?592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4q94naDwHx
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmqjWxEm3a
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Vwec7bCix
I let his calls ring out, and I don't call him back. I don't reply to his texts, or his WhatsApp messages. 592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmdjYYZf5b
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtb4Gzp40e
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKr7rhwHw1
It's pathetic, really, but who can blame me? That night, I realised that I was beginning to feel something very strong for him, and I also realised that he had already begun to feel that way a long time ago.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxqqcXPz7i
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2lp5P6bp0
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslHTWHKOrG
as long as you stay here with me592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEyOC2OlYR
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTCvUbUy9h
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7E8bCLOb5x
That's what he said after the wedding. He meant more than what was happening in that moment. I could feel it, and that night at Poetic Justice, I could see the way he looked at me, as if I meant the world to him.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Kcn0vcj1n
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFyPe1n99C
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQGCvLIimA
This has to stop.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxg5bLXhSC
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9jc8Wxkfn
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncTn8sGz8x
I sit on the edge of my bed and stretch, feeling that sharp pain in my pelvis again, and I yelp. It's been happening more frequently now, and it's getting worse. I really need to eat more.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxjEK95B7N
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg83ZBfsdO2
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYg8AH19aM
I get up, not knowing what I'm going to do today — I have no work — so I go to make some coffee. I'm just about to pick up the jar that is now placed safely on my kitchen counter, rather than high up in a cupboard, when I hear knocking on the door. Somehow, I know that it's him; it's as if I can feel his energy through the door. Still, as I pull the door open, I didn't expect his expression to be so... worried. My first guess would've been that he was angry, but here stands before me, a man who looks like he is on the verge of shitting himself.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBphJRNrqLw
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlQkOc68xN
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9s4P3Uxze
"Are you okay?"592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVBSIEQgqP
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgeWjmHslt
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNkDvmBDX9
"Yeah," I say letting out a heavy sigh. It seems as if every time I think of him, he appears. "We need to talk."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6SYr3gXAv
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQAaMAbExs
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1UFW71Yln
I step aside to let him pass, and follow him to sit on one of the couches.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbNDFwGxup
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCemDdTNb4N
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFO7VTEKjU
What the hell am I supposed to say? I don't love you? You're better of without me? It's not you, it's me? 592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCE4BRF7X9O
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndkSv7OqXN
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡea6y1b8sdj
Instead of going with any of those options, I choose the best thing that I can think of.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDz4bUb3nf
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NopZkAz45
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHsxXjI39X
"I don't want to do this anymore," I say to him, sounding like Rihanna.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvjfmId9Nz
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgTWWK1xQ8
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgCtDoZb5F
I don't want to hurt you anymore. I can't give you what you need.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7sHPxCOv2
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2qDEZJtLm
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡat5qSXKdDW
His eyebrows knot together in confusion. "Do what?"592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1z7GLTcATp
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6u21qZsb8
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMX1ytxCMpF
"Us," I say, but he still looks confused, so I decide to elaborate. "I can't give you what you want."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Ju7C03OvP
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP46WfYCs1A
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjLMStZl8n
He puts his hand on his forehead and rubs it, letting out a sigh.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWs6arG13Z
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOIgcnBed2
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3X3TO8EDE
"Yes, you can."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOxsJnHDdS
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cV1VY56AP
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKAjkHPTEI
"David—" I interrupt, because to be honest, I'm tired of people telling me what I can and can't do; but then he throws something at me that I didn't see coming.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGe1I08To2
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu36iW02rw7
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhc4o6asmI
"You can, but you don't want to. You're holding on to the past. There's a difference."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbBUoYpALl
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxi0PeBFZQB
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX95cJpN0V5
All of this is said with a look of sympathy on his face.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMGOWs65zy
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgfwI6upfE
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOF2MPfRVX
To be honest, I can't tell him that he's lying, because he isn't. That's exactly what I'm doing; holding on to the past, to my dead lover who's ashes are kept in an urn under my bed, who I will never see again; but there's more to it. 592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPFQ3pdKOC
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cxW2bVbu3
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QCQy0tEuW
I'm afraid to love again. I'm afraid to lose again. If felt enough pain to last me an infinite amount of lifetimes and then some.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3an3DyhKm9
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmFVsCLWYS
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfZA1NumEL
"You're holding on to the past," he says, repeating himself. "I get it. You love him, probably infinitely more than you could ever love me; but do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone? Would he have wanted that?"592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPGzS18KEx
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz145VMwiTa
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1LitJbG49
I stop and think for a second. Would Andrew have wanted that?592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcBjEOJbBz
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNE0M2euEd
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2H6zzKVcz
No, he wouldn't, because the last thing he said to me was "be happy, for me; live, for me." 592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXFmvmPlFV
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxXqeab8gf
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPNKFj9ZZZ
I'm a disappointment to my dead boyfriend, because I can't get over my dead boyfriend. This is so fucked up.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6KTFD0Pay
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9wSiGeH5a
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCPN8eaFLC
I don't even realise that I'm sobbing until I'm in David's arms, and my face is in his chest; he's rubbing circles into the small of my back, just like he did four weeks ago.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRRjG3Qb1v
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGI6df94tY
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvs53l1kVV
The sobs wrack my body so hard that my pelvis starts to hurt again, which causes me to groan.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7j02pRDnsh
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurbkIpGrIv
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0PUt0mhgM
"What's wrong?" 592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pYRaKxQEQ
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCysaYEPE8
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUaFBLNa0E
I take a few deep breaths, so that I can calm down; each time my breath hitches, I feel that sharp pain again.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJaWNjTdp9
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRA3ziKIf1
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25qLhld9j6
Once the sobs stop, leaving only tears flowing from my eyes, I speak.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QcXxxdX8Q
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYU8XxJAnC
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAvIfDkYCs
"My pelvis hurts. I feel pains whenever I don't eat enough."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFoBdZISht
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMCTpz4inN
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7yi0eEsHz
He gives me a disapproving look.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHT2Alc2Wd
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4ZROLePOW
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWwvIvmsY2
"Are you anorexic?"592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNLurwSbEN
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaHmTMlgOP
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIr2yD8pEyq
"Oh, god, no. I just only eat when I feel the urge to. The problem is that sometimes I feel the urge to eat once a day, or I feel hungry and I don't want to eat solid food, but there's no liquid food in the house. Other times, I stuff my face like a pig."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7YjyHGXHE
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4vjoi7hBu
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2GJPgzWBW
He looks at me like I'm the strangest creature on earth.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoElFnHkD1
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwPFuNEjN8
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsOPxLCO2M
"Okay," he says in a resigned tone.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIS5N3HTXT
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHlfCPDa09
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfHwyW6Xrc
The tears are slowing down now, and I'm beginning to realise that David isn't going to just evaporate into thin air because I order him to.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN572Dm6yOu
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81HrxyU9OD
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Pr7NmcciB
Almost as if he hears me, he smiles at me and says, "I'm not going anywhere, babe."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHReHYrEiIK
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0ZYQiodd7
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoTz2rPezC
Not yet ready to accept that, I let out a sigh — then wince when my pelvis hurts again.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwm5hEEKIIs
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyqIAe1itv
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mtnug9rzT
I ignore it.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOzFGpSz9h
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ykUxd5lz1
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW27gfBur9V
"I don't want to get hurt again."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuO6vnchAfw
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxB3mYwlkF5
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxlVAo22uI
At this, he has nothing to say. What can he do? Promise me that he won't die? That would be a lie.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANd3SRJOTb
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwzf77jq1I
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsn2VqmSt6q
"I won't let that happen, and I can't give you what you want. I can't give you love."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9cN2vh2eO
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUDNufv0sN
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bwJiijc8Q
He knows that he can't give me a legitimate reply to that. I've lost every important person in my life. He can't ask me to risk that happening again by becoming close to yet another person.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MtTi63H8r
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RU9AuuWYW
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IjP6iaX8H
"This is why I don't have friends. I don't date. I live on my own. I just cannot endure any more pain, David. Love is a weakness; it it my weakness. It feels amazing when you're with the person, but at that funeral? You feel so distraught, so hurt, you're in so much pain, that you feel as if you're being tortured to the point of death, but you aren't dying; you're stuck on the threshold between life and death yourself.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPpKu4Jx8E
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kWHAN6ey4
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibhod8vXIo
"When I love someone, I do it with my whole heart. Whether it is my friend, family or lover, it consumes me. I can't help it; so when I lose that person, it is absolutely devastating. I can't do it again.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaQIEzkleC
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRap45g9V6J
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xEsgJO8bH
"So please leave, David, because these feelings that I have? I refuse to allow them to blossom into full blown love, and I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already inevitably have."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6SQtmn6Fg
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekKwgr4Ns0
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvrb2iwTT7
He gets up, and I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I can also see the understanding. It feels like it takes years for him to cross the room and make it to the door.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj12APX0xGy
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYbDelSkta
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7XfVsEHxb
As he opens the door to leave, I know that I have done the right thing; I couldn't use him anymore.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HjZP4NHW0
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQONSavHJs
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdmrwFZXgn
So why is it that I felt the urge to call him back?592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJvOiZ7Gr3
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhLSrQ9a5T
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkyzycXH9W
***592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQC5NOBFMYM
For the past two days, I've been doing everything to get David out of my mind; and I've been epically failing. Every time that it is most inconvenient for me, he just pops up into my head, out of nowhere.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzMQjZbQH3
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQdFCOKunJ
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8c6jvRkMoJ
For example, right now, I'm at a photo shoot for a man who wanted a few portraits of himself, and I can't see the subject through the viewfinder.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeLLuHvP6K
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPymYDL65su
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuisOWRIJnC
"Excuse me, can I get a glass of water? I'm parched."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsiNxFwNXY
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfhxMmSzy1
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UoFtMGyaI
He smiles at me.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKFReNrqNe
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61MX57YeZW
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvfwniITFM
"Sure, hon."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMmSBc64N9
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Kjqbsx5aB
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjWvbT8N5I
He walks off, and like the masochist I am, I pull out my phone and read David's messages. So much for trying to forget him.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNcWR8P0UQ
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kSxKGDYJ4
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSResxuFZU
The very first ones:592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFiBJDzdQZ
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGajBpwNm2i
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07nPydkf3h
Hey! I miss you.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf13Uol0KTb
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkg4QnIuZM4
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHiT4BJCzr
How about you come over to my house and sit on my face? 👅💦😉592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡev6OH0PjxP
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQLiY67JEa
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG80eoanAiL
Leah, I have a special present for you... 🍆💦592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGsccpliNbn
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeF0rt6zkr
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GLX0jUKzG
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtjP9i6Zcr
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHMzhoET6n
Then, when he realised that I wasn't reading or replying to my texts:592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjWdc47m1w
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9UoeDBk8r
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXLihNv5G6
Hey babe, why aren't you answering my texts?592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0jfCDsyN1
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1D125AuG1k
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfO0CmTAgv
Are you okay?592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ659xrJ9SQh
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8crEfQPaV
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhf3CzyGcHO
Did I do something to piss you off?592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSk0K3GzPLy
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7D3Th106so
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0CCdVsrNp
Then, he caught on to the real reason why I wasn't replying:592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnemA0vZh4M
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlvUqG2uLT
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0dPMC7WLl
If it's about the other night, please remember, it's okay to feel.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcixljM0T11
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEE8XSfbAD
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRsfcpOhEv
Then, something that caught me completely off guard:592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMDA7wKi2k
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn23VAGC4LN
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCpD5sI4lR
Leah, I've peen wanting to tell you this for a while; I wanted to tell you this at the poetry night, but I didn't know how. I love you.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUjXkmjfzG
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pELrNGLAq
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZxhUKd0kg
Suddenly, it feels as if all of the oxygen has been removed from the air; as if I'm dying from CO2 poisoning, and my heart is beating so hard and fast, it feels as if it is trying to jackhammer its way out of my chest.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ411wVqcoxm
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLn45U3dhOu
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgocInXNp2w
"No," I whisper, my voice cracking, and I let out a sob when I work out the date on which he sent the text. 592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7EVN8patw
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK727QUP6yE
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZILmWaEUm
Two weeks before he came to see me. 592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDFKJz5DTU
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0chYw7G722
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIoCKQV4o4
Of course, my fucking pelvis begins to act up again, but the pain is barely noticeable over the pain I feel at knowing the extent to which I've hurt him. I knew that he felt strongly about me, but love?592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzgZ8dYGJU
592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuPjpLTyre
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"Leah?" Trevor says, with the glass of water in his hand.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NivQvrZ4K
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I wipe my face quickly.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKjubrlwci
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"It's okay. I'm fine."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJ1c4hNnxZ
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"You don't look fine," he says, with concern on his face, handing me the water.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFVzNTizBY
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"Don't worry about me. Lets get back to work."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCcOCQkl1B
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***592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYdfr7t3RE
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I'm in David's driveway. I know I shouldn't be here after promising myself that I'll leave him alone, but I feel as if I have to say something to him after reading his confession, even though I know that seeing him in person again will probably end badly for both of us.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywEtiybe39
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Still, I called him to inform him that I wanted to talk, and he invited me over.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6o1bi6JXK
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I can't get out of the car. I'm fucking nervous out of my mind. What the hell am I supposed to even say to him? 592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfvMSyQx6h
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I don't even realise how long I've been here, until I here knocking on my car window. I jump slightly, yelping in fright, before realising that it's only David. I open the car door slowly.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPE9vOETs7h
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"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to spend the night in the car," he comments.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBOXlb5bZS
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I close my eyes as I stand and lock my car.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJzmdabZHm
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"You finally read my messages," he states.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOB5Lhhz1Tb
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"Yes," I reply, realising that the ticks must have turned blue.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrejWJrVmWB
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I just look at him, and he looks back. Now that I'm looking for it, I can see it plain as day. He loves me. 592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBM4doEbTJD
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If I'm going to be honest, I should've seen this one coming. He always wants to cuddle, he always looks for an excuse to sleep in the same bed as me. Now that I think about it, most men who are trying to keep feelings out of a relationship would rather sleep on their couch.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcn9TvvVGQz
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He fucking stalked me, followed me to a water party.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjuBjfN7g2
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"When did you start having feelings for me?"592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0oVfrNOx1
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He exhales loudly, and then looks at me as if he knows that I won't like the answer.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHGLY0OFVx
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"That night that we had dinner together, right here."592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cx6VWz1hR
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Wow. That was an actual date. A romantic date. I feel like a dumb fuck.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTcroeFt6K
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He loves me, but I don't love him. Despite the fact that I feel drawn to him, the fact that I want him, not just sexually, I don't love him. Not yet.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKOVFPcHSq
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I'm attached; I swore that I wouldn't let this happen, but I've become emotionally attached. 592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpwMRMDSVB
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"Leah, are you really sure that you want to spend the rest of your life alone?" he asks, interrupting my train of thought. I can't even think about the weight of that question, because he continues.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDDIdvuVbx
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"You say that you're afraid of pain, but right now, you're hurting yourself. You aren't happy. I know it's nothing compared to the pain of losing someone, but at least when you let other people in, you'll have some light, people to laugh with and cry with. 592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoIjAzSYzh
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So I'm asking you again: do you want to spend the rest of your life alone?"592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1OK2NdhW1
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I look at him, and I can't say anything; I'm speechless. Everything he just said makes sense, and it hurts, because I know that either way, I'm screwed. 592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqVSEMlEcW
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If I say "no", he'll hold onto it the way that Jack should have held on to that lifeboat in Titanic, and if I say "yes", that may not be completely true, because I don't know anymore. I hate being alone, but I fear emotional pain. 592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cUaSuKSMl
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I just stand there, silent. Instead of trying to talk, I do the only thing that I can do in this moment; I hug him, and to my elation, he wholeheartedly returns the gesture.592Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpK22V809mD
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Happy Valentines Day! ❤️😘💋
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