Since the big cry fest over four weeks ago, my life has pretty much gone back to its usual state. I hardly even remember it anymore. I continue to work, eat, sleep, and shut the world out as I usually would.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEv9b1XSQ3Z
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubu4dC3e2a
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiyeQc6Myj
There's only one minute problem; I've been avoiding David, and I'm sure as hell that he's noticed. How could he not notice that I haven't been available in over a month?650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPOAlOiz7x
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LgtcfOWQ4
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOX3nUYzPh
I let his calls ring out, and I don't call him back. I don't reply to his texts, or his WhatsApp messages. 650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKySY5wlzo6
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6FVnyKl4m
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gvPzuQq0z
It's pathetic, really, but who can blame me? That night, I realised that I was beginning to feel something very strong for him, and I also realised that he had already begun to feel that way a long time ago.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uPRLG3xCg
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7TPwcAmjR
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EGmWyYY4h
as long as you stay here with me650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uCEYkr7bw
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZ3wW6AHFU
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7ENQ5jzgZ
That's what he said after the wedding. He meant more than what was happening in that moment. I could feel it, and that night at Poetic Justice, I could see the way he looked at me, as if I meant the world to him.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpsgpZcQSB
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44oWIgVQ0B
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQg3KlES1Ve
This has to stop.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMLafAcxKV
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFaqjZeO4i
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUa92munE0
I sit on the edge of my bed and stretch, feeling that sharp pain in my pelvis again, and I yelp. It's been happening more frequently now, and it's getting worse. I really need to eat more.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjDRvjlANy
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2d8hVDmlf
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjW6LFh398
I get up, not knowing what I'm going to do today — I have no work — so I go to make some coffee. I'm just about to pick up the jar that is now placed safely on my kitchen counter, rather than high up in a cupboard, when I hear knocking on the door. Somehow, I know that it's him; it's as if I can feel his energy through the door. Still, as I pull the door open, I didn't expect his expression to be so... worried. My first guess would've been that he was angry, but here stands before me, a man who looks like he is on the verge of shitting himself.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHAzHIO6er
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6I3fdB9Atk
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBBJruXnh2
"Are you okay?"650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMRVr3fYVI
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNpJEezhDb
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroiT9c6Ohk
"Yeah," I say letting out a heavy sigh. It seems as if every time I think of him, he appears. "We need to talk."650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqAamRIhoY
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3TzzaKGZY
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhzLKg2mGQ
I step aside to let him pass, and follow him to sit on one of the couches.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXUeOBONFj
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVfyTupUcm
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwDlSrgzcR
What the hell am I supposed to say? I don't love you? You're better of without me? It's not you, it's me? 650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylRKxznrRS
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAUoODh1bM
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvrbJhMEfm
Instead of going with any of those options, I choose the best thing that I can think of.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQg5wN3KbYv
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhDjBZj9iX
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQacB1gNIR
"I don't want to do this anymore," I say to him, sounding like Rihanna.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeHGDUbxkP
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhEDoHeED2
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5bLhSorQW
I don't want to hurt you anymore. I can't give you what you need.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCnzLyCpyU
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0y0LzrEMQB
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNIhkk0bKs
His eyebrows knot together in confusion. "Do what?"650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2knQGLEMIl
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbKz1XXd72
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzShUORzT29
"Us," I say, but he still looks confused, so I decide to elaborate. "I can't give you what you want."650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPNnFQ4grp
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2LGFIJ0RW
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzrb4XOw31
He puts his hand on his forehead and rubs it, letting out a sigh.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFpGDxIgtt
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4vMwtCHKg
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNEQIpa6jU
"Yes, you can."650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JETtxzb5K
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBKxNR4bvp
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PmHTsytCw
"David—" I interrupt, because to be honest, I'm tired of people telling me what I can and can't do; but then he throws something at me that I didn't see coming.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6Jy0wyRHu
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XodKIS3OW
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmITBsbcd7
"You can, but you don't want to. You're holding on to the past. There's a difference."650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvsB8u15mZ
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVippSJBal
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRhMfym4te
All of this is said with a look of sympathy on his face.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwP5nuDusu4
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPY6jKWVlL
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGU5aF2SWZG
To be honest, I can't tell him that he's lying, because he isn't. That's exactly what I'm doing; holding on to the past, to my dead lover who's ashes are kept in an urn under my bed, who I will never see again; but there's more to it. 650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcjpY7CrkY
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeEUdsInB1
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhm1NfiZ5Ox
I'm afraid to love again. I'm afraid to lose again. If felt enough pain to last me an infinite amount of lifetimes and then some.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cIhcJwTMI
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUODBAB5um
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHVyQC2gRK
"You're holding on to the past," he says, repeating himself. "I get it. You love him, probably infinitely more than you could ever love me; but do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone? Would he have wanted that?"650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVMwC1jMSG
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4K7wm5EuHU
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0NdHbGQIT
I stop and think for a second. Would Andrew have wanted that?650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejXwPQUjUR
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqiRRpy9AE
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbC0exuWu7u
No, he wouldn't, because the last thing he said to me was "be happy, for me; live, for me." 650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxxGNQ1ttm
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQtO43wy3d
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWg16WTbNLW
I'm a disappointment to my dead boyfriend, because I can't get over my dead boyfriend. This is so fucked up.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEDCZzfsWe
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMhyuUToyj
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNK29qeC8p
I don't even realise that I'm sobbing until I'm in David's arms, and my face is in his chest; he's rubbing circles into the small of my back, just like he did four weeks ago.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfLMWyxoQZ
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BGzEfxjQV
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0vQh3T2rN
The sobs wrack my body so hard that my pelvis starts to hurt again, which causes me to groan.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP82hTekcpz
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhNO3Utg6j
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhU2WewnvC0
"What's wrong?" 650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkJo0sRT8P
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQSJD6G1co
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIlU69adxx
I take a few deep breaths, so that I can calm down; each time my breath hitches, I feel that sharp pain again.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRrrnLP2K6
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXKB04bnoF
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveKalU4g7j
Once the sobs stop, leaving only tears flowing from my eyes, I speak.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDVIlOBoN9
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPA9Crly0sN
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02vpAdUAmX
"My pelvis hurts. I feel pains whenever I don't eat enough."650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyiqpnHkhd
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinUR5tkrcr
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRlX2Mg2CR
He gives me a disapproving look.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPFsMTLDwL
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweC09RXpQO
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifNSjvTWJN
"Are you anorexic?"650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZLIf0AT6p
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEswX8pIPZg
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LzYjzbpTP
"Oh, god, no. I just only eat when I feel the urge to. The problem is that sometimes I feel the urge to eat once a day, or I feel hungry and I don't want to eat solid food, but there's no liquid food in the house. Other times, I stuff my face like a pig."650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41eEIoGMtS
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUxIGztKjN
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78lP5KkxBT
He looks at me like I'm the strangest creature on earth.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdoAMAq8XG
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaf44wdoY6G
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoH1gWCPKZb
"Okay," he says in a resigned tone.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1knWyaO3S6
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqfGzJSLY2
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxffj3dAZX
The tears are slowing down now, and I'm beginning to realise that David isn't going to just evaporate into thin air because I order him to.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDsb1zFpWu
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKA5Xu2fhIy
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZjOGNZ7OL
Almost as if he hears me, he smiles at me and says, "I'm not going anywhere, babe."650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBtxI1gDkl
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVNjPJmsyF
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCFpY2OJg6
Not yet ready to accept that, I let out a sigh — then wince when my pelvis hurts again.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJzbA0Pb02
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxTMgetrrg
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbW9YCzl6Aa
I ignore it.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMv8uphWtO
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHPbWyxJlm
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVKpZw2KLT
"I don't want to get hurt again."650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8S3LpBu4kf
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdvtDLeHxd
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIQXrkHeO7
At this, he has nothing to say. What can he do? Promise me that he won't die? That would be a lie.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxQIgP403Y
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dLC4vijy2
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9Cbq2ya3S
"I won't let that happen, and I can't give you what you want. I can't give you love."650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejOU5fRoDf
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBebD7EJ1ll
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAsqwvGFpN
He knows that he can't give me a legitimate reply to that. I've lost every important person in my life. He can't ask me to risk that happening again by becoming close to yet another person.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsssckTaO2h
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyGSX0iGTQ
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72Rs6smB7j
"This is why I don't have friends. I don't date. I live on my own. I just cannot endure any more pain, David. Love is a weakness; it it my weakness. It feels amazing when you're with the person, but at that funeral? You feel so distraught, so hurt, you're in so much pain, that you feel as if you're being tortured to the point of death, but you aren't dying; you're stuck on the threshold between life and death yourself.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDsc08W6RF
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2v2LLD4N5
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7wG4YsrAd
"When I love someone, I do it with my whole heart. Whether it is my friend, family or lover, it consumes me. I can't help it; so when I lose that person, it is absolutely devastating. I can't do it again.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugLHNgFKH8
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3k3iB602bW
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLQCo4yVLc
"So please leave, David, because these feelings that I have? I refuse to allow them to blossom into full blown love, and I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already inevitably have."650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjggH2qzP2
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxy1jA1YmI4
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAkUdf0sN9
He gets up, and I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I can also see the understanding. It feels like it takes years for him to cross the room and make it to the door.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GZGKUdmhw
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC89IVxjzxk
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkAZiqEMPC
As he opens the door to leave, I know that I have done the right thing; I couldn't use him anymore.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuIJcxSzWJ
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHyfvLlJYR
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNlg89WS4N
So why is it that I felt the urge to call him back?650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jgdyporig
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndeq2xd7uK
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VsmM9kzqX
***650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNcUoo57JF
For the past two days, I've been doing everything to get David out of my mind; and I've been epically failing. Every time that it is most inconvenient for me, he just pops up into my head, out of nowhere.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOjrrUdhcD
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3a09zeLqtw
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDq9cdouwwq
For example, right now, I'm at a photo shoot for a man who wanted a few portraits of himself, and I can't see the subject through the viewfinder.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXBhfCQQnZ
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypdWloBArz
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8n0UuGmgFr
"Excuse me, can I get a glass of water? I'm parched."650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGGdwPzGMk
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlY3NSZz8d
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuK3LpXnJx
He smiles at me.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9yZZcds20
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDclBzsoSU7
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviKKdhAZq4
"Sure, hon."650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrKjgSLUIl
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnm15NK0wc
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8neWXqXPYM
He walks off, and like the masochist I am, I pull out my phone and read David's messages. So much for trying to forget him.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3OLtZ4z36
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgMVLaQOoH
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYu6Fcs83vc
The very first ones:650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkefFnmfyB0
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5gYqc5OWk
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRLAS1EFSw
Hey! I miss you.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDw0giKlOyR
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeJqx6YnLB
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmXnc27iFG
How about you come over to my house and sit on my face? 👅💦😉650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6eSsj9Fc8
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoeORfUTPI
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEgPiSa5Fj
Leah, I have a special present for you... 🍆💦650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwT9nlGVG4Z
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lLh4YHjfv
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzB2ZWExFW
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbB56BBD45R
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjrG35V44m
Then, when he realised that I wasn't reading or replying to my texts:650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5xHe5acyr
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPJBc2QGu5
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7AiStYbWl
Hey babe, why aren't you answering my texts?650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQ0f7XTAQM
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OSvT9kAdO
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUXrPq4IS5
Are you okay?650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjr0t9QSwD
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwuoxpwCXm
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRugAjzFRU
Did I do something to piss you off?650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovmhFEro5p
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNskWaldCRB
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jLO35pUud
Then, he caught on to the real reason why I wasn't replying:650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiFn4h0ToQ
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSXtvRS8KO
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Xw87MiReQ
If it's about the other night, please remember, it's okay to feel.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eCO98DXd2
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AHZK9j19z
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YCVGR05xx
Then, something that caught me completely off guard:650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxk1sgN8pW
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVc5R1Th7ap
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdndN3omFH9
Leah, I've peen wanting to tell you this for a while; I wanted to tell you this at the poetry night, but I didn't know how. I love you.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Gjj7dG83V
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTfVn5y8aR
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnN5x9wgf0j
Suddenly, it feels as if all of the oxygen has been removed from the air; as if I'm dying from CO2 poisoning, and my heart is beating so hard and fast, it feels as if it is trying to jackhammer its way out of my chest.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj69jzwquT0
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpXCOHr9V4
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnd3DTdXCD
"No," I whisper, my voice cracking, and I let out a sob when I work out the date on which he sent the text. 650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXxSIBkbm4
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZUDzMqkF9
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nCq0HYq9i
Two weeks before he came to see me. 650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnzZ7sjMR6
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhgFnw1pIa
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU00SIdgHAv
Of course, my fucking pelvis begins to act up again, but the pain is barely noticeable over the pain I feel at knowing the extent to which I've hurt him. I knew that he felt strongly about me, but love?650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡth8NSkU0V1
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGI7MNXZ9TG
650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ApYjRVfMW
"Leah?" Trevor says, with the glass of water in his hand.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKZMmxdkT0
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I wipe my face quickly.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62VZd9LcX3
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"It's okay. I'm fine."650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrh8a1aqRzI
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"You don't look fine," he says, with concern on his face, handing me the water.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXbpYyGKS5
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"Don't worry about me. Lets get back to work."650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCy0vsqIw67
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***650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCBZkfkHfv
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I'm in David's driveway. I know I shouldn't be here after promising myself that I'll leave him alone, but I feel as if I have to say something to him after reading his confession, even though I know that seeing him in person again will probably end badly for both of us.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdc4VG0qQy
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Still, I called him to inform him that I wanted to talk, and he invited me over.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXj27VnVTv
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I can't get out of the car. I'm fucking nervous out of my mind. What the hell am I supposed to even say to him? 650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBk2e85dLn
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I don't even realise how long I've been here, until I here knocking on my car window. I jump slightly, yelping in fright, before realising that it's only David. I open the car door slowly.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw08xwnKDo5
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"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to spend the night in the car," he comments.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVwlixoKKn
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I close my eyes as I stand and lock my car.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVf3MYCRmqX
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"You finally read my messages," he states.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegXcnTKjKC
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"Yes," I reply, realising that the ticks must have turned blue.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOle0j59hOW
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I just look at him, and he looks back. Now that I'm looking for it, I can see it plain as day. He loves me. 650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJzYp1dWDb
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If I'm going to be honest, I should've seen this one coming. He always wants to cuddle, he always looks for an excuse to sleep in the same bed as me. Now that I think about it, most men who are trying to keep feelings out of a relationship would rather sleep on their couch.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrrAeXXirJ
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He fucking stalked me, followed me to a water party.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4EVu6Csos
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"When did you start having feelings for me?"650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLIYjeav33
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He exhales loudly, and then looks at me as if he knows that I won't like the answer.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoiawinswGd
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"That night that we had dinner together, right here."650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uKTOV4rmo
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Wow. That was an actual date. A romantic date. I feel like a dumb fuck.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChiTNul7uq
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He loves me, but I don't love him. Despite the fact that I feel drawn to him, the fact that I want him, not just sexually, I don't love him. Not yet.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpp72iZq8aT
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I'm attached; I swore that I wouldn't let this happen, but I've become emotionally attached. 650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySMkdcyr10
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"Leah, are you really sure that you want to spend the rest of your life alone?" he asks, interrupting my train of thought. I can't even think about the weight of that question, because he continues.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXPTZjCEnf
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"You say that you're afraid of pain, but right now, you're hurting yourself. You aren't happy. I know it's nothing compared to the pain of losing someone, but at least when you let other people in, you'll have some light, people to laugh with and cry with. 650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJnB4CRzmm
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So I'm asking you again: do you want to spend the rest of your life alone?"650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Sn7XlWGvs
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I look at him, and I can't say anything; I'm speechless. Everything he just said makes sense, and it hurts, because I know that either way, I'm screwed. 650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicuRmlibBI
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If I say "no", he'll hold onto it the way that Jack should have held on to that lifeboat in Titanic, and if I say "yes", that may not be completely true, because I don't know anymore. I hate being alone, but I fear emotional pain. 650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nEjG4AQDv
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I just stand there, silent. Instead of trying to talk, I do the only thing that I can do in this moment; I hug him, and to my elation, he wholeheartedly returns the gesture.650Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Dl1Sk6SuM
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Happy Valentines Day! ❤️😘💋
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