同學們面面相覷。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCY6Uji848g
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「那個……您是不是走錯教室了呢？」身為班長的我起身詢問。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODodHazyOO
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「啊，你們的數學老師請假，所以今天是我代課喔。」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rUCHV7nvi
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVarwsEOUOj

「咦咦？沒用的老東西請假？」賴妍驚訝的問。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJlHOs8Ayh
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshG1SetbP5

「請不要叫數學老師沒用的老東西。」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmO2Z0T1Kto
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0mgO5U3WQ

「那改成老不羞好了。」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoum2SfZ3SH
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrIqYAp8tI

「更糟糕了啊！」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRySY4i2Lnn
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjeG6uJBRs

「咳，總之，」代課老師乾咳一聲打斷我們的對話，「請各位打開課本第……為什麼桌上有酒瓶？」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh844NpAZ3K
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49c9m9iqJh

「因為上一節是化學課。」正在製作燃燒瓶的簡澄說。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiQYn3LOsl
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0QsmX5B61

「那你桌上正在燒的酒精燈是怎樣？」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFVaOflBBf
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5QdqHMtVc

「老師，它正在暖身。」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPqvDJKf4Y
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgUSiMhlDF

「它是要暖什麼身啊！給我拿回去實驗室放好！」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4oD47OnYE
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xexvgHsNH

「我要去！」賴妍自告奮勇的起身。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNOjIdfe9Z
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FKNb4rKG4

「給我坐下，妳不值得信賴。」我不耐煩的說。「三岐，你去放。」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHahhh97ZRn
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAv7qx9sZAV

「那我改姓三岐。」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCi9XZyfNr
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxCI4hwpcZ

「才不是這個意思！」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVkR8XsKum
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「而且為什麼是三岐！」剛剛還趴著的三岐抗議。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7FWUsjZJb
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kGKGRxjw9

「少囉唆！快點給我去放！」我用課本敲三岐的頭，「別跟著搗亂上課秩序好嗎？」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNv7zJQydm
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbOWeGl26Y

「汝等下級生物，竟敢命令本元帥，看我痛啊啊啊啊啊啊！」三岐的話還沒說完就被我再次用力敲頭，不過這次用的是不鏽鋼水壺。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrJX6s3rqL
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcOfGaRGYb

「元帥好弱。」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMyN0CNQPl
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOJoYVg2cC

「你根本是想殺了我吧！」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdldgSLURof
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeM6Co9Ug44

「同學們！請安靜！」代課老師看起來有些惱火。「全部給我翻開課本！」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW02oXThFTC
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzhQtT6xug

「老師。」賴妍突然嚴肅的開口，「你覺得數學的意義到底是什麼？數學又是為何而存在？」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAMFTmberS
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3d5JBXQWHI

「數學是為何而存在…………？」老師陷入沉思。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KXp3ikicZ
  除了賴妍之外的同學們臉色一沉。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfP2JXUp01Z
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNF4radhNJX

「老師！別中計啊！」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgV3XJmCjaw
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5QkU9IOKc

「這傢伙的腦子才不會思考這種深奧的東西呢！」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqv19aipIIs
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTOryF7fpc

「她只是單純不想上數學課而已啊！」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHDCKHCHiR
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjGvogcJfB

    不過老師抬起手制止了那些警告他的同學。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3nwPvnhBt
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfA6Ra1dXUQ

「我認為……」在思考片刻之後，老師開口，

「數學是使生活變得更方便的工具。」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10YViV3ika
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DZ672kPkR

「真的是這樣嗎？」賴妍問。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb66BJ3nmyp
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0cYkKVqQt

「古埃及人與巴比倫人靠著幾何學的幫助，建造出了許多壯觀的建築物！牛頓發明的微積分也間接造福了許多人類！」老師越說越激動，「所以我才會選擇就讀數學系，成為數學老師！數學對我來說就是世界的真理！就是絕對的信仰！」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLwT6BK0EF
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtv43tUyUn

「那……如果我說，」賴妍緩緩開口，「我能反駁你的論點呢？」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6c9DiEfmY
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwNpOEuR2r

「什──」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu44SCbVvWB
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHpTqA9Oxu

「如果我能證明…………數學並不是世界的真理呢？」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9XUnC8V3C
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbe5SVC6ctT

「臭小鬼！妳明白妳在說什麼嗎！妳說的話是對神的褻瀆！」代課老師憤怒地吼道。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGVnAW8CR8
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt11pfoifoJ

「那個，班長，」坐在我後面的男同學輕聲對我說，「這部不是日常番嗎？為什麼會出現戰鬥番的台詞？」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9hCeQmXfB
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEBTQC7frp

「我也很好奇啊！而且現在不是數學課嗎！」

  

  最重要的是，代課老師已經在不知不覺間步入了賴妍「不想上課」的節奏之中，這才是她被稱為瘋狗的最大原因。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zrD1qApaw
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ01JSpnvQQ

    真正恐怖的地方還在後頭。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09FRZjO975
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWITEmwvGI

「老師……你知道數學的英文，Math的意義，其實是Mental Abuse To Humans，也就是人類精神虐待的意思喔？」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MFc12FqOV
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7oVBIUQQFz

「那只是討厭數學的人提出的可悲巧合而已！」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuUMLmQ4QD
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hG2egsN3x

    賴妍歪頭。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrizvYp77NW
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQglqDoKid0

「如果數學是真理，為什麼有人會討厭祂呢？」她問道。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9lTqCXdLE
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmR4zhxCRAp

「因為世界上總是有許多自以為是的人！他們只因為生活不如預期，就怪罪到神聖的信仰上面！」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQrVHl9ScH
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWhMhycYSF

「生活不如預期？你是指生活中的事發生無法用真理解釋的情況嗎？還是生活並沒有想像中的便利？」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3536qgsvL
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EeLJNW4dU

「世上所有的事情一定都有辦法用真理來說明！」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73i2lk3QH0
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoW9aLQu9c0

「真的嗎？」賴妍正色道，「那我舉個簡單的例子吧。您有看過商店中『買二送一』的活動嗎？」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaN3EiVkPR
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrCEiWBdiy

「當然有。」代課老師不耐煩地回答。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNYUA4NnMM
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtancB7UI1

「那麼一加一等於幾？這只是單純的數學問題，不是腦筋急轉彎喔。」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TAlBCr3DD
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYuZ6ODWK5

「一加一等於二。」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5k8mhDzTf
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGNmmHb4iL

「啊咧？奇怪了？」賴妍故意用困惑的語氣說到，「我只付了兩個物品的價錢，為什麼我得到了三倍的利潤？好奇怪吶～」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezvXnyPlbm
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3llmSxS8R

「……咦？」老師愣住了。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxah33lGs3
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHkz71UVs1

「這樣子算式就變成了『一加一等於三』而不是真理所說的二了呢。」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4H2YoFoee
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWXzyhDD02

「什…怎麼會……」代課老師開始感到恐慌。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUsC9koHVb
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnxu5oG7Xj

「老師別中計啊！那只是一種行銷手法而已啊！」我大喊。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cYFkSwCbL
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4e1UrA5vCf

「我…但是、但是一加一應該……還是等於二啊…………？」代課老師緩緩抬頭，用困惑而渙散的眼神看著我，就像一位瀕臨崩潰的精神病患者。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4HQR9267F
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    完蛋了。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlmTrc1lvC
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGTLUH6uY2

「我再舉一個例子吧。」賴妍再次開口。「剛剛說了一加一等於三，但是這也不是正確答案。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdT1nGmrDlS
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNhjcwKPPm

「您應該也知道結婚是什麼吧？就是長期的一對一賣春契約。」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5YNCVXFts
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhIRXoh7ri

「才不是這樣！」我吐槽。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80zfCyDKTn
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gC8zg3Ivy

「好奇怪吶。住在我家隔壁的王叔叔明明結婚了，為什麼最近兩個月，在王阿姨不在的週五晚上，還會出現另外六個女人陪他過夜呢？」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWn5az5BQu
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hHblxdzk7

「這種事情你應該早點去跟王阿姨說才對吧！」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3O7JnOOV7
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkwQHvZeDW

「咦咦，」賴妍不理我，「一加一不是等於三嗎？為什麼同時又等於八呢？」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhaGrQkvVX
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35OL3toqg1

「為什麼啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師抱住頭，驚慌失措地尖叫。「為什麼真理要遺棄我啊啊啊啊！」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xPLG4QGMP
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BfZ6VsmdP

「沒錯，就是因為人們被你所說的真理拋棄，才會轉而討厭，甚至憎恨數學。對他們來說，數學不只不是世界上的真理，更不是讓生活變得更方便的工具！」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmz14EaWoC3
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VCCYnGVD5

    賴妍深呼吸，補上了最後一擊：「對他們來說，數學只是讓生活更不方便的枷鎖！只是阻礙人類發展的、根本沒有存在必要的、無用垃圾而已啊！」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtfPeMKzEi
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBSzoOMGXQ

「啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊……」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWF0I09sO60
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGBKcw4l7G

    老師緩緩蹲下，雙手抱住膝蓋，露出自己長久以來深信的事情在一夕之間被摧毀的表情。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnue3CjlhZJ
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI64ybKyrQB

  這時，去化學教室放酒精燈的三岐回來了。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJshLI6cpL

    老師彷彿看見了希望一般，朝著三岐跑過去，抓住了他的肩膀，用力地前後搖動。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCucy5sTT5m
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKcMgzChUV

「同學！一加一等於多少！」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB71y2Cg0eX
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pJmtRHdUn

「咦？」在狀況外的三岐很錯愕。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2WpIWVXWB
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ysr2hsdAe

    賴妍露出了勝利的微笑，坐回位子上，舒服的翹起二郎腿，抓著桌上的白蘭地仰頭灌了一大口。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9zK2dYWVj
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaM5fc40Fv

「到底等於多少啊啊啊啊啊！！！」代課老師瘋狂地大喊。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmaTb8BQMGd
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9V8VDFQx4

「等、等於五十……」一天到晚吃麥O勞的三岐結結巴巴的回答。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mpiPlu3ry
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hM4FuH9TS

「三等於八、八等於五十……等式應該不成立才…三又等於五十……啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師崩潰了，尖叫著衝出了教室。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwE0DkdH61
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    全班盯著三岐。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3phRHBx9a3
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「欸？我做錯什麼了嗎？」三岐很錯愕。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5EluFxzP8
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    賴妍抬頭看了一眼教室牆上的時鐘。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbivxG7EIZw
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「呦喜！多賺到了半小時下課時間。」她握拳。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0MJVmDL6o
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnMg5dUQ5d

「呦喜妳個大頭！他被你弄壞了啦！」我慌張地大喊，「全班快點出去幫忙找代課老師啊！」325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWCgzhauAI
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AKz455Mnz
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當日結果：325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarxfV91KXl
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNqEQvh7ap

    在數學科辦公室全體數學老師的幫忙下，於放學前在校舍頂樓的花圃角落發現了喃喃自語著「三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十我被神拋棄了嗚嗚嗚我要成為一棵用費波納契數列整齊排列的植物三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十…」的代課老師，並送到附近醫院的精神科治療。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMC1srfbGo
325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJX2z3kcomO

    賴妍被記了一支大過（目前總共七支）。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyI8ikHr3Dn
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    柳困依然單身。325Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZ05UCQRqd