我和傾姐坐在沙發上，一同蓋在被子下。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyejcIC47Cq
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMW8sDjPj3c
拉上被子，右手拿出麥提莎，放進口裡。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslFitAN0FW
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP82x6TfKzG
「咬下——」明白了。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq74s13mMB0
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoh99qV5tK9
目前，我知道了她和蔣少的關係。基本上，蔣家和家裡給予她的壓力，使她過著一個沒有自由的人生。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF16LOpLEtG
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7Ir1IHh4V
難怪，她會向神許願，祈求能夠脫離現有的生活。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVkX8R90kb
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8M3wGf9m1A
脫離現有的生活？慢著，那不正是我做過的，最誇張的一件事嗎？737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKZeJGmfZX
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcn7DVO9c2E
封閉自己的內心，流落孤島，徹底地脫離原本的生活。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxJsxaxchi
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbkxlM0bYw
神是不是故意的？737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tpBOF0dc6
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkxkJcNuM0
竟然……安排這種測試給我。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIfa0hL0QI
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3vcHaHH27
我望望時鐘，時間奇怪了。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1DjJvKAhu
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Xspo45WWd
牆上時鐘還沒到達兩點，顯示著一個奇怪的時間。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRZCVnuva5
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBTRNqKGGL
「雖然你好想幫我，但其實我唔係一個值得幫嘅女仔嚟。」傾姐訴說。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInmHrBNuXO
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXGEuUD6b0
「點解咁講？」我問，準備再取下一粒。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdLoEKIROh
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPYeXBkrvq
「因為欺凌同學嘅人，唔止得蔣少，我都有份。」她自白。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLalFY8G8st
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSgH1KuG3K
「唔止有份，我仲縱容陳菲菲佢地去蝦其他人。」她繼續說，「就好似之前，要逼李可兒除底褲咁。」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLgIFaNzfR
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8j4AJPiFG
「我做過嘅壞事，一啲都唔少。」她說，「如果唔係，啲人都唔會咁驚我，我都唔會有傾姐今日嘅地位。」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5dFaLDp1W
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kqEbYYsy6
「有一次，中六蔣少啲friend想約女仔出去玩，希望我介紹幾個畀佢地，我都介紹咗。」她黯然說，「雖然……我明知會發生咩事。」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPSnR1ONJ0
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz321hYwkKJ
「唔好再講喇。」我說。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjukjgzXoJN
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAFXxKafpt
「如果你係想幫我嘅，至少，我想你知道真正嘅陸傾兒係一個咩人。」她認真地說。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqCLmFbwNi
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyTsCLx6D6
然後我沒有再阻止她。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELH2fPLefX
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bWizmTr3t
讓她一直說著自己的壞，說著自己欺負了多少人，威脅了多少人，傷害過多少人。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBj9IHpyQD
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUo6vAS3s1j
聽著，我聽到了熟悉的聲音。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVeBQXrDGY
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgP38b6LkTw
不是我也做過這些事，而是我也說過這些話，一些自責的話。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQr8yvPYkK
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WxJEx5WdI
透過用言語來責罰自己，讓自己好過一點。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SLWbrCBbr
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMhuMVczIr
除此之外，在寂靜的夜裡，受著海風的吹襲，以虐待自己的方式來受罰；透過惡言惡語，破壞別人對自己的印象，讓別人討厭自己，也是懲罰自己的方式。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCNBEIm60X
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGb43kRsQW
如今她正企圖破壞自己的形象，破壞她在我心中的印象。彷彿期望著我拒絕她，同時又期盼著我接受這樣的她。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA69MwF60J9
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡecq4f4zsEC
聽著，聽著，聽見了哽咽。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIizJ6DaQE
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPj3R9jILH
「Sorry。」她垂下頭，「你聽完，覺得點……仲想唔想幫我？」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCliGPg80j
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoa101FP6Q
「定係……」她自我形象低落，幾乎抽泣，「你已經想即刻趕我走？」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5uTyljZvc
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuw1KQJQ2N
「做咩唔講嘢？」她問，終於望向我，「喂……」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtjpN2oFQd
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dDHZNqgVy
我也正在難過。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPDJRVJ0Mv
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0xfJV6fka
「啜泣……」我哭了，抹抹眼睛，「Sorry.。」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GHgjEvHqi
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Y2dFzgy6W
「你做咩喊？」傾姐問。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytqBJlo1nF
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKinh8J97Vw
「因為我好擔心你。」我照直說。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Q1cz3Wkyt
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6VJXhiD0q
「點解？」她問。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SJdV3QTDm
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cl7gug5Tv
怕你走上跟我一樣的路。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JKh2MH76b
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBJ02HCa3s
「我驚你太過自責，之後會做傻事。」我說。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFH9vrLXKc
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqD0vpJNxwa
同是做壞事的人，同是不原諒自己的人。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMxCxXFZfgQ
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCFuZLNFRs
但是困在孤島的人、封閉內心的人，有我一個就夠了。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3t0g6rXgTq
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBjPKp4yp8
「我亦都好感動，你肯講畀我知。」我說，收住了淚。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJKgkxv6yM
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKlZJwYByk
只要說了出來，就不會鎖在心上了。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsMVNcON0e
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DORxpxRXu
「其實我已經做緊傻事。」陸傾兒說，「我上網識男仔，或者可能……都期望緊會發生意外。」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHT1aBqilI3
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9A8Hxwc9FM
「如果我畀人非禮、姦咗，出咗醜聞，蔣少一家人可能就唔會再鍾意我，我就可以解脫……」她說，「從此唔再需要理屋企人嘅指示。」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGs8SEM7xB
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SLbdpDtkg
這是……什麼爛方法？737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpfPla2WYw
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWijvwgqw92
即使要折磨自己，也不是這樣的吧！737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEn8rQL7enu
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUs1X46I8C
在被子裡的手，握緊了拳。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdQj6odiPM
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UQ58ZON1C
「哩個都係一個方法嚟嘅。」我漠然地說，「只係，有一個條件。」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP34hecO27u
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrk49e8KFLt
「咩條件？」她問。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTb3mqgFcv
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDd7hJHG7nI
「搞你嗰個人，要係我。」我說，「除我之外嘅人，你諗都唔好諗。」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5p8Cb0lEZ
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTQ60PjVLW
陸傾兒笑了，哈哈地笑了。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdfpMWopLC
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzRpr9Dld2
「點解？你同其他人有咩分別？點解要係你先得？」她笑著，笑容漸漸僵硬。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfvstCfz6I
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RA6H6EuHn
「因為其他男人搞完你，就唔會理你，而我會繼續幫你。」我說，「雖然我未必可以長期係你身邊……」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZ6AiXrSgy
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZ23Mx3iXp
但即使我身在遠方，我都一樣會擔心著你，為你的人生而牽掛。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICpydeYlSg
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxo0rNVsUA
「你可以點幫我？」她問，「撇除哩個方法唔計，你有咩方法幫到我？」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZof3tCGhG
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NAan1XDgv
「我已經答咗你好多問題，你已經知道咗我好多嘢。」她繼續說。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIXgLs8VmG
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA47LCtoUKC
「孫正直，你可以點幫我？點幫陸傾兒？」她問，很想知道。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd15ZaMwrBy
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQrDPhORwi
鬆開了麥提莎，我輕放在地上。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9tNxK2v2d
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LMLlxQQwZ
「我唔係神，冇可能幫你解決所有問題。」我說。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlG0savKxd7
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhPNpl8mAC
「咁你可以點幫我？」她追問。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaVWluwSYu
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpRutFfIrG
她遇上的困境，不是耍一點小聰明就可以解決的。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTukO7jvoS
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgF5NShvXHh
也不是叫她離家出走、自食其力、無視家人等，就可以過上美好的生活。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWgtCHQCEd
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVYeXiGkte
「我都冇咩方法可以幫你。」我說，淚水情不自禁，「但係……」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFU597YKm0
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf71n7fFbWn
「當你凍嘅時候，我會幫你戴一條頸巾。當你想講嘢嘅時候，我會靜靜地咁聽。當你想喊嘅時候，我可以借個膊頭畀你。」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYAQ0a3oP4
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF87vgVqfDH
「今晚嘅我，只係可以……今晚嘅我只可以……做到咁。」我抽泣地說，「對唔住。」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksFy0LSbLQ
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9B7XAUdmTl
說完，她聽完。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeF5QIpp5d
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqNHqRrm0g
「明白，我明白。」她說，「好多謝你今晚可以陪我，好多謝你，可以為我喊。」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNbvVu2vr7
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlaKPSW4V9
「我成世女，都冇人為我喊過。」她誠懇地說，準備離開，「好多謝你，孫正直，我有少少感動。」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvO3wrIhUQX
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHwNYKdi3u
等等，時間還沒到兩點，仍然是1點35分而已。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVxfHcJpNO
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxXe7V2iFW
「你係第一個為陸傾兒喊嘅人。」她看著我說，「你值得我，畀一個獎勵你。」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0piRILBBDU
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8M6nIEXrCn
被子從她身上落下，露出了她的頸巾、衣服，和手上的電池。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsljpVQoeOk
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QfrZKcUrY
「個鐘粒電，我係你去廁所嗰時拆咗。」她還給我，「唔好意思，因為哩個係唯一阻止時間流逝嘅方法。」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJrsWjuvGG
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fYMmf6ZSt
「但我依加要走喇。」她說，「實在太夜喇，聽朝仲要早起。」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uP5kkrnYG
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWv2X5IAmf
「陸傾兒……」我說。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzatdqlPMTS
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0G2PesZCU
「我畀你揀啦，一個獎勵，當最後一回合係我輸咗，而我揀大膽。」她睄一眼空酒瓶。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLa78sRhmf
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ434Rhjno7
「揀咩都得？」我問。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNtGDy3QaT
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmEGMoIwWb
「你揀之前，我仲想講一樣嘢就係，你雪櫃根本有勁多啤酒，我搵到嘅開瓶器，就係係你雪櫃個蛋格到搵到。」她說，「但你唔想我飲，寧願呃我話冇酒。」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDX4Oa1AEF
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSK9bUZA8P
「哩個世界點解會有你哩啲咁嘅人？」她泛淚，卻微笑。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aPv5kJZvy
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnh5CExXmOU
而我不懂回答。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVDZgegzQx
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExFRIGma0u
我是知道有酒的，昨天就知道了。我也知道時鐘被拆了電池，只是不說破而已。我猜她也知道我知道，才會在默契之下，延長了時間。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvcwOJTntU
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQM2uj9kax
「陸傾兒，我揀……」我準備說。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThWPZ0231e
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkclaNnmPFG
「你會唔會想揀錫我一啖？」她先說，站在我的面前。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbvU1f5abW
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURQHp4bgUn
我展露微笑，問，「你覺得我敢唔敢？敢唔敢揀哩樣？同傾姐錫一啖。」737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMdRolasNF
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafz4eqOaUM
「視乎你驚唔驚死。」她說。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjBRXr7OOW
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2XfgOrKwe
「我驚死，我當然驚死。」我說，慢慢翻開被子。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsTU33f3Xw
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeF7a9Sj9G4
「但唔係今晚。」我也選了大膽。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5RdjFh1fF
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GxjJyfmql
過後——737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjl5Me4Qbuj
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjNw4V79YR
沙發上只留下一條米黃淺啡間條頸巾。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNCmNIVGfJ
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3Mak0v0lP
屁股坐下。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKuWqYgaAt
737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnSPzeFzsB
還有開了一瓶啤酒的我。737Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa82nJEgoeS
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