"If there is one mighty truth in this world, it is as follows: each great sorrow contains the seed of its own consolation." - Alexandre Dumas, The Man In The Iron Mask
Tomorrow we say goodbye to my grandfather. He passed away suddenly two and a half weeks ago, and I am still not sure my brain understands what has happened. I am still very much in the 'denial' stage.552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lDLm5UY52
Despite the grief we feel, I found that this quote by Alexandre Dumas (one of my favourite authors) made me feel a little better and it lends itself to so many situations that I had to share it. 552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7DmB4qC9t
Once again, the Musketeers have come to my rescue. 552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LB5TrXVWp
You see, although my brain is refusing to accept the bitter truth, my heart is still heavy. I still feel sharp stabs of grief that take my breath away at random intervals throughout the day. Even if my mind is on something else - say, when I am in the middle of a lecture - I will feel the pang in my gut and have to clench my jaw tight until it passes. Despite my denial of sorts, I still feel this "great sorrow".
Taking the advice of Dumas (who dispenses a lot of it throughout his Musketeer books), I have been attempting to focus not on the loss, but on his memory. He is both the source of my great sorrow and the seed of my consolation.552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTIa0gOYvX
My grandfather was a remarkable man. I have never met a single soul with as much faith in me as he did.552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddqHtThnWr
I am coming to realise only now the impact he has had on my life. He took me to my first archaeological dig when I was a child of five or six, and every summer we went to the museum and looked at the mummies. Without him, I see now that I probably would not be doing what I love at this moment. I probably would have left my love of history in the classroom. Even when I was discussing degree options and I was so adamant that I wanted to study media and journalism, he would always ask me, "but what about history?". He knew what I wanted, and what path I was meant to be on, before I even knew it myself.552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwHAPhwJxo
I will always remember our walks around the clough, when he would point out the large, strangely shaped rock and tell me it was called the Devil's Rock. He would tell me stories of fairies and magical creatures that lived in the trees and that this rock was their meeting place.552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2W6s5Ot8f4
There are so many things I wish I could say, so many things I wish I had the strength to write down and give to the minister so that he may read it out at the funeral. But I do not. Writing this here is all I can do.552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvX8uXYWsvs
All I can do is find my consolation in the past, find my solace in the memories of the past twenty years.552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLB0VnWqV7D
I love you, Grandad.552Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavZ1LmWAtI
