The life of me? blog - I was Five

I was Five

By: FossyJoci

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡef4RnS4wv5

I was five.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgPLsYfslF

I was five when I was told that I was moving,

that I had to leave my friends and the life that I had behind.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPalHk21OM

I was five.

Moving states and places,

The Change was hard,

new people and a new start,

I was five.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxarBnvBz6

I was five,

When I met new friends

and I made amends

Then I was ten

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGKgEXsbd9

When I was ten,

My dad knew my best friends,

But he stepped down.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyEQYSIyng

When I was ten,

He got a new job,

I had to leave my friends once again,

I had to leave them.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9h0wVlgov

I was ten.

When my friends and I continued to speak

When my hunger started to betray me

When I had to restart my life,

And meet new people on a new street.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQS7JpFVHg

I was ten.

When I still got to keep my home,

I didn’t like it though,

My mother and father fought,

So I slept over at my best friend’s house

I was twelve.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxDxYG0OiX

I was twelve.

It was thanksgiving

Of all days in the year

That is when my parents decided

We were to move.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJn2LRWACjJ

I was twelve.

When I had my first fainting spell

I had to leave everyone.

My friends and I didn’t have a falling out

If we had I would have never come out

Of my room where I would wail for comfort

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxV7RLhWjzA

I was twelve.

When my brain began to think

About how I am going to keep my friends

People change and so do I

but they are the ones that keep me sane.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrrmcnzXZi

I was thirteen

When I was in a new state once again.

New house, new school, new people.

I. Hate. It. Here!

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfpod7zOQj

It has been almost three years.

I know the reason,

The reason I was torn from my friends,

The reason I have to live in this hell.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsEjUtPeqs

I want to go back.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdiQBfFvJ0

Back when I had my best friends right by my side.

Back when I saw them daily

To when I spoke to them bravely

TO WHEN I WASN’T SAD.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41IqiDfzIi

I am fifteen years old.

I can sleep but I don’t

I like to stay happy even when I’m not.

I talk to my best friends,

but not as much as I should.

I need to talk to them more,

Before I overthink.

Before I lose them,

And before I lose myself.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWNyMA4PtB

I am fifteen years of age,

I have been forced to move states or schools

Four times.

Four times my parents have said, never again.

You are going to graduate high school here.

Each time these things happened

I got progressively worse.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMz2whN5dRR

They look at me and ask where their happy little daughter is

Not even bothering to notice that she hasn’t been there,

Ever since I had to leave my best friends

One Boy

One Girl

The lights of my life

People who can just so easily take away that light

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14eSi8ZlGV

Talking to them makes everything better

I feel the slightest bit insecure about something

And they instantly say the smallest things,

Howdy.

And everything melts away

All the insecurities

All the Pain

All the words in my brain.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRF6sOSyUb

I am fifteen.

I read books to escape,

All the people in my brain

And those who surround me.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf808cf7Alc

The library is my sanctuary,

My safe place.

The one place I feel sane.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzir2xIAIhS

I won’t speak but others will.

The people I surround myself with

It is not good for me,

They are not from my roots

but I am stuck in theirs.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDIfbKBCKB

I didn’t read one book

And for that, I get constant jabs.

Preying on my weaknesses.

And my insecurities.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqW3D9quKE

I talked to them.

The people I surround myself with,

I made it known that,

I am not ok with what they say,

And what they do.

But no matter how much I try,

“They will never listen to you”

So I have made a decision

Once I can be confident,

I will free myself

From the burden that is my “friends”

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0re4pWg0P

Why did life have to turn out the way it is?

Was it my parents?

Was it my friends?417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NrSLm1PLl
Was it me?

What went wrong?

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9WYqsN7oJ

In the life of a fifteen-year-old.

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRqJJoLda1

I am now sixteen

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02kZCXU3o3

Looking back on this poem

A year in time has passed

And I have begun to relax

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NgMjIISlU

I have lived with the guilt

Knowing what I know

The reason why I was pulled

I miss my best friends it's true

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RANeAhxzI

Living without them is like living without food

My hunger deteriorates

I get lightheaded

My body hot

My ears and eyes shot

Everything blurred

I can’t see a thing

Muffled sounds

As I fall from my feet

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkpfWDQ11x

The issue at hand got better once

But it is slowly getting worse again

Sometimes I forget to eat

Other I just see food and can’t think

Of anything other than not eating it

It makes me gag

I would rather scream

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3A3euccAw

So I go to the theater

Where I can screech

I prefer to belt and sing

To get my frustration out

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21XqhLY8mJ

But the one thing is

I can’t do that without

Those “friends” showing up too

I don’t want them there

It’s my safe space

For me to survive

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKy4C9NhVXj

To get away from those

Who make my insecurities thrive

But then there was him

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMfHbqObZ8

He got me to eat

Somehow I don’t even know how

To walk and run

And somehow breathe again

I don’t know how

But I have known him for a long time

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDJyucePjl

But we will not date

For the fear of losing our friendship

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFb5FlDyDIO

I have been through that before

I cannot do it again

It broke my heart

And it still does to this day

I don’t want it to suffer like that ever again

So we will stay friends

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitEoUrU06N

I am not ok

I never will fully be ok

I will give you that

Because no one is ever fully okay

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCYVSQLKeF

I lost the ability to be ok

Long ago

When I lost my best friends

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZGZbSlkkE

I haven’t seen them in three years

And that is when it all began

I don’t know how to fix this

Am I mentally ill, probably.

The thought that I have ADHD

Has a high chance

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWaxWhnoMD

But for now, I will live

Because I thrive on spite

And I will try to be happy

And to stay positive

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLeI79SkD7

In my sixteen-year-old mind

417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeufWFqh5BI

ns216.73.216.192da2

I was Five

註冊

登入

介面語言:

故事語言: