Since the big cry fest over four weeks ago, my life has pretty much gone back to its usual state. I hardly even remember it anymore. I continue to work, eat, sleep, and shut the world out as I usually would.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxwg9gBGmn
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdG1V9Jcci
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtkXgHg51g
There's only one minute problem; I've been avoiding David, and I'm sure as hell that he's noticed. How could he not notice that I haven't been available in over a month?626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCAcIFZ5Gs
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrn1ds9evhp
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVs2cmqpNn
I let his calls ring out, and I don't call him back. I don't reply to his texts, or his WhatsApp messages. 626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2kJDiaice
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4Ft8fdcWy
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeWe8llYm8
It's pathetic, really, but who can blame me? That night, I realised that I was beginning to feel something very strong for him, and I also realised that he had already begun to feel that way a long time ago.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHEjMZYIRd
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGis5IDuuz
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQR7wlVL3A
as long as you stay here with me626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxWOdDApGr
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDOPmpCZN9
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvOC5tjhmC
That's what he said after the wedding. He meant more than what was happening in that moment. I could feel it, and that night at Poetic Justice, I could see the way he looked at me, as if I meant the world to him.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QvpkC6CuP
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdNxdA7Mw2
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNCnQ0PFYU
This has to stop.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oMNSfLbfC
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXZR0ZxIAB
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSKzcKQ3KE
I sit on the edge of my bed and stretch, feeling that sharp pain in my pelvis again, and I yelp. It's been happening more frequently now, and it's getting worse. I really need to eat more.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq91fQaMyRT
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRx7ifFDuZq
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUvkFNcpkb
I get up, not knowing what I'm going to do today — I have no work — so I go to make some coffee. I'm just about to pick up the jar that is now placed safely on my kitchen counter, rather than high up in a cupboard, when I hear knocking on the door. Somehow, I know that it's him; it's as if I can feel his energy through the door. Still, as I pull the door open, I didn't expect his expression to be so... worried. My first guess would've been that he was angry, but here stands before me, a man who looks like he is on the verge of shitting himself.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wZQYrX5uw
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrjDvhWPQn
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcg3xwAkXZ4
"Are you okay?"626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0paM10Xtk0
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvKEo1iiwp
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HT2d5D9Lt
"Yeah," I say letting out a heavy sigh. It seems as if every time I think of him, he appears. "We need to talk."626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKZHDO1LxS
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoINsbxe2x
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YkpY53YCk
I step aside to let him pass, and follow him to sit on one of the couches.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xzJMDPSYn
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7z67lLLEz
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmSPYbSuBh
What the hell am I supposed to say? I don't love you? You're better of without me? It's not you, it's me? 626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyCY8WIBoN
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkkXAYvYpM
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0Gj3Izk2H
Instead of going with any of those options, I choose the best thing that I can think of.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPARTZzpRYY
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7QSUaexdi
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBr0tw4Bfp
"I don't want to do this anymore," I say to him, sounding like Rihanna.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnISqnXPwql
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2S4HzRPpeh
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhFHzOa6cM
I don't want to hurt you anymore. I can't give you what you need.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeR31VNJ7BA
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYeSItXARkt
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUELgxTTls1
His eyebrows knot together in confusion. "Do what?"626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOd8wut6hmP
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZTCgQWz84
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4Tvv1l0Gk
"Us," I say, but he still looks confused, so I decide to elaborate. "I can't give you what you want."626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLnf3iQcdO
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9n9cyCTQmN
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmnoDloVwc
He puts his hand on his forehead and rubs it, letting out a sigh.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKVWEN38TH
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuA87moAygm
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YzdWjOZLr
"Yes, you can."626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfHQDWkLKT
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsGLCF5LmZ
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcU4ZQVDt84
"David—" I interrupt, because to be honest, I'm tired of people telling me what I can and can't do; but then he throws something at me that I didn't see coming.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOGOfSge0M
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEfHNSfAvp
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSkpwwXMOF
"You can, but you don't want to. You're holding on to the past. There's a difference."626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJstKidEwNu
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWSzkKwcDa
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFHD954OAr
All of this is said with a look of sympathy on his face.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡce7ASbaJiZ
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0SSE5DZBs
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfE5Qi7zogj
To be honest, I can't tell him that he's lying, because he isn't. That's exactly what I'm doing; holding on to the past, to my dead lover who's ashes are kept in an urn under my bed, who I will never see again; but there's more to it. 626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxK6z1lcpWA
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvwXoOY6Tw
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxafRkqkU2B
I'm afraid to love again. I'm afraid to lose again. If felt enough pain to last me an infinite amount of lifetimes and then some.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTro7ELeiR
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEDlk22nVB
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEv0DP5aYX
"You're holding on to the past," he says, repeating himself. "I get it. You love him, probably infinitely more than you could ever love me; but do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone? Would he have wanted that?"626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLqWyBBRiQ
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MyRSyQwfJ
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXXDAqkKst
I stop and think for a second. Would Andrew have wanted that?626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeaenklCWw
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHQ5QJbZp6
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzMPva1kUG
No, he wouldn't, because the last thing he said to me was "be happy, for me; live, for me." 626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8SFO6C2n3
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraT4hsp2hC
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DLekSq4zT
I'm a disappointment to my dead boyfriend, because I can't get over my dead boyfriend. This is so fucked up.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpOIT4920Q
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsl5s6ja8r4
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHAMask6iF
I don't even realise that I'm sobbing until I'm in David's arms, and my face is in his chest; he's rubbing circles into the small of my back, just like he did four weeks ago.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqHjGboroI
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLU7eHXrRD
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vpqF2B5ZE
The sobs wrack my body so hard that my pelvis starts to hurt again, which causes me to groan.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZnVbSwc8A
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5KEsrBzj4
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODYHi43zW0
"What's wrong?" 626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGiZjZOBMu
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRlzZEoIeQ
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVf5E4HJH4
I take a few deep breaths, so that I can calm down; each time my breath hitches, I feel that sharp pain again.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NATUGyuDZ
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMLxH6neED
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKwivq9Xkh
Once the sobs stop, leaving only tears flowing from my eyes, I speak.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6llqc8jf0Y
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZP5UkF6DY
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUnvnihaSF
"My pelvis hurts. I feel pains whenever I don't eat enough."626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULgoZusQpc
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SjxGupIJ0
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg18ynzmDb9
He gives me a disapproving look.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr10zP4p8Il
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxk3OsMg5A6
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzaNEtwtCl
"Are you anorexic?"626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinr2HuOyet
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeTG3r0Kp8
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjT62zZ7N6M
"Oh, god, no. I just only eat when I feel the urge to. The problem is that sometimes I feel the urge to eat once a day, or I feel hungry and I don't want to eat solid food, but there's no liquid food in the house. Other times, I stuff my face like a pig."626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RDFrL9f7b
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9izV4sv4Jb
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDxt0NMqfL
He looks at me like I'm the strangest creature on earth.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lHvKBoK9o
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rhJLKJq7w
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5WaaiYUGJ
"Okay," he says in a resigned tone.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRe9IVWuWC
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvTbwogJm4
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9blPSBPGEo
The tears are slowing down now, and I'm beginning to realise that David isn't going to just evaporate into thin air because I order him to.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTTtWw2Mb7
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbpuDzNNvw
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJ1xp45yMU
Almost as if he hears me, he smiles at me and says, "I'm not going anywhere, babe."626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AEvv4hrRO
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW48T0B3Lm3
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSOWwBjjSh
Not yet ready to accept that, I let out a sigh — then wince when my pelvis hurts again.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZPYsTUEwP
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5k3NgAxnYl
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDBCGSjQlQ
I ignore it.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAwarHkpQ6
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDN5lajU07G
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjRByxWfxg
"I don't want to get hurt again."626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBz2Flx5u3
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprTomg8iyG
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3mZXS9hrD
At this, he has nothing to say. What can he do? Promise me that he won't die? That would be a lie.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcd4C3bRmFG
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfQLTzZgAd
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡud68QRpZG4
"I won't let that happen, and I can't give you what you want. I can't give you love."626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnol51ar7U
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GKr32FKGO
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hJSyl4sqy
He knows that he can't give me a legitimate reply to that. I've lost every important person in my life. He can't ask me to risk that happening again by becoming close to yet another person.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmF5BZdp6C4
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MKZChQK2k
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsz5BxdN80k
"This is why I don't have friends. I don't date. I live on my own. I just cannot endure any more pain, David. Love is a weakness; it it my weakness. It feels amazing when you're with the person, but at that funeral? You feel so distraught, so hurt, you're in so much pain, that you feel as if you're being tortured to the point of death, but you aren't dying; you're stuck on the threshold between life and death yourself.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9DhuJhNRD
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9hLlYiQAj
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBKyPgdtXj
"When I love someone, I do it with my whole heart. Whether it is my friend, family or lover, it consumes me. I can't help it; so when I lose that person, it is absolutely devastating. I can't do it again.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7W3z6Chtb
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvUMhouenu
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHae0NlvKL
"So please leave, David, because these feelings that I have? I refuse to allow them to blossom into full blown love, and I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already inevitably have."626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9axUetbBRG
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhChKnkxfsP
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsp0JcMz0OS
He gets up, and I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I can also see the understanding. It feels like it takes years for him to cross the room and make it to the door.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9IRFyZRSz
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvmT7DEhFR
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Gn9R6YSZK
As he opens the door to leave, I know that I have done the right thing; I couldn't use him anymore.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44SFd7ByEH
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDC8ukuIbT
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPW5lEIPA5m
So why is it that I felt the urge to call him back?626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJMrOYMIbB
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXc20NJ6SbR
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpL5rMCJzf
***626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUW571y0zul
For the past two days, I've been doing everything to get David out of my mind; and I've been epically failing. Every time that it is most inconvenient for me, he just pops up into my head, out of nowhere.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmAk6KM0O6
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOCeyaT31J
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1hkbHtd5v
For example, right now, I'm at a photo shoot for a man who wanted a few portraits of himself, and I can't see the subject through the viewfinder.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRc1CYVx1o
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNlWhxNVuo
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkhL9jk2K7
"Excuse me, can I get a glass of water? I'm parched."626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGI6hx7Gtn
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡourMhO4hbt
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PjXBWbtl4
He smiles at me.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpjODNWmkm
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9ADK3u6Ak
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5umuX4acQd
"Sure, hon."626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDTa0mcX3D
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3Mdj37HPl
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXiOHHFsrw
He walks off, and like the masochist I am, I pull out my phone and read David's messages. So much for trying to forget him.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3l8IbqcyVC
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02OPAAzfwM
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Lp12IbY4S
The very first ones:626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDV9WHjFti
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDCpQZAarY
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnsRHRTrGs
Hey! I miss you.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByyLohlHTG
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRzl85u9sB
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fr8ScKEAH
How about you come over to my house and sit on my face? 👅💦😉626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoThHLVgfYZ
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW98sorfJtH
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsVv5IyOog
Leah, I have a special present for you... 🍆💦626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkgPqchjKk
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHe0sz3UY1Y
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbFh9YKWyA
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzCxr24z6e
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5Ucd8L64x
Then, when he realised that I wasn't reading or replying to my texts:626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2d7wqzHG7
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFxVpzpIJ5
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwzyJ0hjYQ
Hey babe, why aren't you answering my texts?626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQtUMkIi9o
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaFiEsYePQ
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaC9YG8svJ
Are you okay?626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Vma4sYyhT
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54PdekiTG0
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0tOvWXk4w
Did I do something to piss you off?626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cV1g9rJW4
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKf0MBnLc0L
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMJp7e123W
Then, he caught on to the real reason why I wasn't replying:626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioljF2RGFW
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZTAyOnsc3
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMGhXUPhmE
If it's about the other night, please remember, it's okay to feel.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILfSvXWsSo
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4r4XcTBm2u
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20ZL3Rlfi4
Then, something that caught me completely off guard:626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEW919uePVW
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnso62OMJO
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzTLLdlNgV
Leah, I've peen wanting to tell you this for a while; I wanted to tell you this at the poetry night, but I didn't know how. I love you.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKYLweU8O2
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRyPPeVKH3
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkVaeZObMD
Suddenly, it feels as if all of the oxygen has been removed from the air; as if I'm dying from CO2 poisoning, and my heart is beating so hard and fast, it feels as if it is trying to jackhammer its way out of my chest.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyufBCTVcj
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGWAXtKrp5
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhj1VvijFIc
"No," I whisper, my voice cracking, and I let out a sob when I work out the date on which he sent the text. 626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BlsnNKrGM
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8cKy4ShdU
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfq3ljnr1MK
Two weeks before he came to see me. 626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXkHVeP4SR
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclIMU5jCto
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxk8MUTFaf
Of course, my fucking pelvis begins to act up again, but the pain is barely noticeable over the pain I feel at knowing the extent to which I've hurt him. I knew that he felt strongly about me, but love?626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyV5Ffxd9V5
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fXj5zeKg5
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9uu5iMjti
"Leah?" Trevor says, with the glass of water in his hand.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAF84IvAMKV
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEKni36F24
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7WzdoKpLp
I wipe my face quickly.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONy1Iuj6OJ
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmydoClqVMM
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXEpPgJ1Vk
"It's okay. I'm fine."626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lw8FiHVGN
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdh0Q3EZY2Q
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXNtX9krEg
"You don't look fine," he says, with concern on his face, handing me the water.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡieJ2V5wNNO
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWobhigOpSx
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4huIwEmxqv
"Don't worry about me. Lets get back to work."626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRyKL58aPE
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBygASYahN
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYFQ20FxTR
***626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7xlfW3Qcs
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTquoniyEn
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6DRLP6zBX
I'm in David's driveway. I know I shouldn't be here after promising myself that I'll leave him alone, but I feel as if I have to say something to him after reading his confession, even though I know that seeing him in person again will probably end badly for both of us.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVb1cwTXffO
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXbSLZqV3n
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIFVDhAceH
Still, I called him to inform him that I wanted to talk, and he invited me over.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMw2FgAiCqJ
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJ68G7oFhw
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjk0YsHhI5v
I can't get out of the car. I'm fucking nervous out of my mind. What the hell am I supposed to even say to him? 626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjLO2t90HX
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEi6rzAAkao
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTx3hpLsSB
I don't even realise how long I've been here, until I here knocking on my car window. I jump slightly, yelping in fright, before realising that it's only David. I open the car door slowly.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDds9bNfzE
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qHFo7XPer
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGJwK4V1nU
"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to spend the night in the car," he comments.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94aNnjan9I
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnjnraQjYX
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHZyKmQFmi
I close my eyes as I stand and lock my car.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGig8Iinbo4
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQZEadeeIq
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAK1cSnXt9
"You finally read my messages," he states.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MNoLsaOvX
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZhJmwSXd3
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGDUoeDBJi
"Yes," I reply, realising that the ticks must have turned blue.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnbktysWtS
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEY7L5WWB1
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡND3L0pOtYU
I just look at him, and he looks back. Now that I'm looking for it, I can see it plain as day. He loves me. 626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeYfQvqTvb
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVAV1TDbXa
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrsS9ag05U
If I'm going to be honest, I should've seen this one coming. He always wants to cuddle, he always looks for an excuse to sleep in the same bed as me. Now that I think about it, most men who are trying to keep feelings out of a relationship would rather sleep on their couch.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmgBqA7NLe
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JrulcgYHu
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGgKAnNIGt
He fucking stalked me, followed me to a water party.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYOtCRUu5O
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9oSFG5V3s
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvVs4tNJd8
"When did you start having feelings for me?"626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0m5GfNgSm
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ995pV0Ypgq
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvpMKgxYcS
He exhales loudly, and then looks at me as if he knows that I won't like the answer.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtIW3CGCJq
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwg3pNZksa
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGbuL8hJ7J
"That night that we had dinner together, right here."626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81G5zOs55M
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqLuKgOa1M
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eR3mWq5YN
Wow. That was an actual date. A romantic date. I feel like a dumb fuck.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUngtnM571
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkj8Wlt28YI
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoZ3OvMlcz
He loves me, but I don't love him. Despite the fact that I feel drawn to him, the fact that I want him, not just sexually, I don't love him. Not yet.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnX86GIhJb
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rlD70aY4r
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtExrAKmlKV
I'm attached; I swore that I wouldn't let this happen, but I've become emotionally attached. 626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKR0OIC7OgQ
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6evYAEh0tx
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFd05jOXCVp
"Leah, are you really sure that you want to spend the rest of your life alone?" he asks, interrupting my train of thought. I can't even think about the weight of that question, because he continues.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeALipg8835
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI01JXDHJsb
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGt52du5nlp
"You say that you're afraid of pain, but right now, you're hurting yourself. You aren't happy. I know it's nothing compared to the pain of losing someone, but at least when you let other people in, you'll have some light, people to laugh with and cry with. 626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUGt0vzJDS
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IZ3eejJ4L
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUjy9UeDQY
So I'm asking you again: do you want to spend the rest of your life alone?"626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8owq428BS
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BvkcIO8ei
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEM2Y00Jb4i
I look at him, and I can't say anything; I'm speechless. Everything he just said makes sense, and it hurts, because I know that either way, I'm screwed. 626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoCEpH9hJz
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPI1LGN7Sam
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3sMhe4Bp7
If I say "no", he'll hold onto it the way that Jack should have held on to that lifeboat in Titanic, and if I say "yes", that may not be completely true, because I don't know anymore. I hate being alone, but I fear emotional pain. 626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTm3Rf5Rc9
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxHYIKhE10
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIS8WiI5Lb
I just stand there, silent. Instead of trying to talk, I do the only thing that I can do in this moment; I hug him, and to my elation, he wholeheartedly returns the gesture.626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7DylFqpgP
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtu949i8dX
626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PNIGkQin4
A/N626Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAjkSUMnTn
Happy Valentines Day! ❤️😘💋
ns216.73.216.94da2
