Tap. Tap. Tap.copyright protection405PENANA3T1edbWa3X
The cane creates a small rhythm as I bring it to the linoleum floor repeatedly, creating my path as it reveals that nothing blocks my way. The presence of sunglasses sitting on the bridge of my nose have never felt so heavy as they do right now. Whether my eyes are squeezed shut or wide open, I'll never see the world in front of me.copyright protection405PENANAe6jbnOhh3t
I wasn't always blind. I had beautiful, blue-green eyes that showed me the whole world and then some. I was about to get a black belt in karate and graduate college in a few years. But after one reckless night, four surgeries, and a whole day of crying after I woke up blind, I'm here, learning how to live the life of a disabled twenty-two-year-old. This seemingly empty, large room seems like the perfect place to learn.copyright protection405PENANABIdeYsPVej
"Easy, isn't it?" My trainer's voice guides me. I get it, I'm blind, but I don't need to be treated like a baby.copyright protection405PENANAJcwqwqOyjj
I nod, the tapping of my cane like the pendulum of a clock, counting down how long it'll take until my new disability drives me to insanity.copyright protection405PENANAWYNT2myisX
"Next, you're going to learn how to read braille with Dr. Morton and then afterwards you'll learn how to deal with crowds."copyright protection405PENANASysBLIq9wZ
Why am I even here? What's the point? I should've just died in that accident. It's not fair. I try blinking rapidly behind my sunglasses, as if my vision would come back, but it's pointless. It's not fair that my trainer gets to see. It's not fair that this Dr. Morton guy can see. None of it's fair.copyright protection405PENANAE6n4VFr9kW
"Ms. Rogers?" I hear the sounds of my trainer's shoes against the floor as she comes to me. "Ms. Rogers is everything alright?" She repeats. I drop my cane and sag to the floor, ripping off my sunglasses and throwing them far. Far enough that I hear them bump against the wall and clatter on the ground.copyright protection405PENANAG547CAi0vs
I begin to scream into my hands as I hear her approach. Closer. She tries to get her hands under my arms and we slowly rise together, my legs weakly abiding. I'm now crying, overcome with anger at the unfairness in this stupid world. She slips the cane back into my hands.copyright protection405PENANAoElSPurKix
I can't do this for the rest of my life. I don't want to be blind. I don't want to learn how to read braille and ask for help everywhere I go. I feel my trainer leave my side, then return shortly afterwards.copyright protection405PENANAlwzCxn24vR
"Ms. Rogers I have your glasses," she sounds young. Probably a little younger than me. Most likely an intern. I feel something inside of me begin to snap.copyright protection405PENANApDrEOwravj
"Thank you," I mutter. "I'm so sorry for all this trouble." I reach out.409Please respect copyright.PENANALZXFqmr3Gr
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"It's perfectly fine--Ow! Ma'am?!" I grab her wrist and she lets out a gasp as the wind gets knocked out of her when I slam her on the ground.409Please respect copyright.PENANAvlldZ0KtSw
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I listen for her heavy breathing and panicked movement and begin to swing my cane down on her. Over and over again. She starts crying, still trying to escape.copyright protection405PENANAHtRp5xEaX5
Unfair. I slam the cane down.copyright protection405PENANAeCU0Q5N2fe
Unfair. I hear the snapping of ribs.copyright protection405PENANAVzSONk1Ya5
It's not fair. She weakly tries calling for help.copyright protection405PENANA7cGpApUkA7
She lets out quiet whimpers of pain as I sit on her stomach and damaged ribs, pinning her to the ground and her arms to her side. She tries to wiggle free but she's apparently a smaller girl. Her hands try to attack me, but I press my thighs closer together, restricting her movement even more.copyright protection405PENANApU3V3nFQvY
"Please," she begs. "Ma'am? Please!"copyright protection405PENANA792q2HTNau
Her whimpers turn into screams as I find her face and dig my fingers into her eye sockets. It's her turn to feel the pain I feel. The pain of losing her vision. The pain of having to lose them only after being alive for little time.copyright protection405PENANA15HrPlYu8U
She passes out. There's a small chance that she could die, unless from internal bleeding after me breaking her ribs. I stand up, bracing myself on my cane, and leave her, tapping the cane until I reach the door. My fingers are sticky with her blood. And my cane creates a small rhythm as I bring it to the linoleum floor repeatedly.copyright protection405PENANAspdu7HMBVm
Tap. Tap. Tap.copyright protection405PENANA5m8s0tIvEj
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