A/N: This is the second part of the two part thing. Again, interpretation is up to you lovelies. Thanks for reading! As always, feedback is appreciated and welcome! 599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfL0xA6DnPq
An Apology to Anonymous599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw10IyG5Qld
I know, okay?
I know I messed up.
I'm the one to blame.
Always have been.
Always will be.
I just need to feel again.
When I had your approval
Or your scrutiny,
I could strive for something.
But you left me in the dust,
Telling me I wasn't good enough,
That I wasn't going to make a difference.
I'm stumbling blindly about,
And I don't even know if I'm on a path anymore,
Or if I'm walking back the way I came,
Or if I'm just lost.
When your eyes lit up,
Seeing something they liked in my work,
That moment was my oxygen,
Keeping me alive.
But your eyes never lit up brightly enough
To light my way out of the prison
You locked me in.
I couldn't see four feet ahead of me
And you laughed at me,
Trying to stay on my feet in the dark,
Trying to find some way into the world
Outside of these bars.
I relied on what you said
And did what you wanted,
And for one glorious moment
I was able to feel!
How do I continue living
When I've lost every reason to go on?
Maybe if I apologize,
That would help.
I doubt that any words will make anything better,
But I can try.
So, I'm sorry, okay?
I know you hate me,
And you're justified in doing so,
But I need your presence.
How am I supposed to write without you?
I know I write only for you and myself,
But I can change that,
Please, just help me again.
I need to feel comfortable in my own mind again,
Despite what you say
And despite the fact that you tore down the walls
I worked so hard to build.
You made me feel comfortable with myself,
And without you I can't even pick up a pen
Without feeling a weight on my chest.
I can't do the thing I want most to do.
Did you abandon me
To find someone with more skill?
You wanted more,
So did you finally find that?
If you did,
Are you happy now?
Or is it still not enough?
Just return to me.
I promise I will finally measure up to your expectations. 599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuqRP5EbxLns 184.108.40.206da2