Chapter twenty-eight
Matt
I'm walking up the stairs after coming from the gym. If anything, I'm too tired to feel anything about what happened with Novah. I should probably ask Jon for help. He's an expert at being nice to people.
"Hey, Matt," Alessia says as I'm walking up the stairs. I nod at her. When is she gonna see that I don't give a fuck about her? 428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qPnytzpof
She keeps trying to force me to feel something for her. Annoying. I walk into my room and head for the shower.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkHzLI9N4q
I already talked to Ben. He obviously has some sort of weird thing for her. Good thing I broke his phone. 428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeqL7ODbnk
He got Novah's number even though I told her not to give it to him.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCTrmP3e84
He had better not ask her again. I'll keep on breaking his shit until he learns his lesson. 428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQaUDy9HsQ
What if someone asks her out? I'll break their fucking neck, that's what.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDCp1EsVqQ
She's not to be fucked with. By anyone. I hope I've made that clear. I turn off the water and hear knocking. I wrap a towel around my waist. I hope it's not Alessia.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Y8Ne3Rvco
I've already told her twice this week that I don't want her. Just because we had sex once or twice doesn't mean I want to be her boyfriend. The fuck? I open the door expecting it to be Alessia.
"I already told you...." I look down and see Novah looking guilty and innocent all at the same time. How does she manage to do that? 428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIa9dNxNyp1
"What are you doing here? It's not safe."
"I came here to talk to you."428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvY2uWRPUh
"About what? Come." I pull her into my room. 428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayf0hEN3QW
"Don't come here again." she rolls her eyes. It's so cute when she does that. I hold back a smile.
"Everything okay? Why'd you come here?" she's too fucking considerate. I know she came here because she thought my feelings were hurt. They are, but she doesn't need to know that. I sit down on my bed and she stands there looking all hurt and twiddling with her fingers. I just want to pull her over by her waist and kiss all over but she doesn't want me. If she touches me, that's it. Physical contact is and always will be the death of me.
"Are you okay?" she asks me. She doesn't need to know about my feelings. They're none of her concern.
"Yeah. Why are you here?"
"I came to check on you. I thought I might've hurt your feelings and I thought I saw you crying...."
"I wasn't fucking crying! For fuck's sake Novah! Can't you just leave me the hell alone?!" I shout.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKgTTf8yaP
Shit. I didn't mean that!
Take it back. 428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAoUq7VSDr
Fuck, fuck, fuck.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGZmuxcejd
She looks as if she's about to cry.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8szWtm7TzE
No. I can't deal with her tears.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswCAQZZAx1
They break me. 428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2LgqopRX3
Why did I just yell at her? Why can't I just tell her that I want her to stay with me tonight? 428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJaRNLae7h
That she soothes my nightmares. Makes me feel emotions I didn't know I was capable of feeling. 428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kh8Qq1SlV
But for some reason, I find myself not able to say anything. Her standing there looking hurt and sad.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmasqt4GJy
No, baby! I just want to tell her that she looks beautiful when she's smiling. That I never want to see those godforsaken tears. But instead, I say nothing. I'm standing there, angry. Angry with myself for fucking up everything. Angry that I'm not able to control my words. Angry that every single time I'm angry I take it out on Novah. Angry that I just made us worse. Us. I didn't know there was an us.
"I'm sorry I came here," she says her voice thick with tears. I did that. I did that to this beautiful woman. I made her smile disappear. She turns around and walks out the door. As soon as the door closes I hear her let out a sob. No!! I can't let her go out there like that! What the fuck is everyone gonna think? This precious girl walking out of my room crying. How could I do this to her? I want to give her the world but all I've done is destroy her world.
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