同學們面面相覷。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgOwyJDrEy
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「那個……您是不是走錯教室了呢？」身為班長的我起身詢問。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRU7XWRGHH4
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdR4VSuwgyJ

「啊，你們的數學老師請假，所以今天是我代課喔。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZxFfHTRT3
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8uXFoVrB7

「咦咦？沒用的老東西請假？」賴妍驚訝的問。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKonMHvFxD
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNdzwrZPCA

「請不要叫數學老師沒用的老東西。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebUBH0str4
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWi394XqKYM

「那改成老不羞好了。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsEp6h1TUv
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAixCskQNw

「更糟糕了啊！」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcj4SlehcO
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgPmQqOk1Z

「咳，總之，」代課老師乾咳一聲打斷我們的對話，「請各位打開課本第……為什麼桌上有酒瓶？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1FJPqxu6B
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBjjbN2DfI

「因為上一節是化學課。」正在製作燃燒瓶的簡澄說。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwT2Bp6zVAO
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0wVO7d6bR

「那你桌上正在燒的酒精燈是怎樣？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuHbmkMvHr
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYWizpmIeL

「老師，它正在暖身。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDpCbz51mv
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueXDepcdCa

「它是要暖什麼身啊！給我拿回去實驗室放好！」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNl2SmBMLJw
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJQ7J9cBNw

「我要去！」賴妍自告奮勇的起身。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OJLCCZcUg
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOZaR5x7RI

「給我坐下，妳不值得信賴。」我不耐煩的說。「三岐，你去放。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtMjq8bTEV
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCYdEkrhbL

「那我改姓三岐。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwnlxej6wi
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEHQa1LjEl

「才不是這個意思！」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72t5ZU2Fa6
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSLgj2l6gO

「而且為什麼是三岐！」剛剛還趴著的三岐抗議。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaZT3qCRdR
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Zo2nTSnAt

「少囉唆！快點給我去放！」我用課本敲三岐的頭，「別跟著搗亂上課秩序好嗎？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeWy3Z7Y7R
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyivP0lTwd

「汝等下級生物，竟敢命令本元帥，看我痛啊啊啊啊啊啊！」三岐的話還沒說完就被我再次用力敲頭，不過這次用的是不鏽鋼水壺。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FdnPzAFUj
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZNIyLZnlU

「元帥好弱。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJFQ5o5US3
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「你根本是想殺了我吧！」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUge8zyebud
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXMnQG1NQ0

「同學們！請安靜！」代課老師看起來有些惱火。「全部給我翻開課本！」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXiGXcl70i
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhe8OC1op2u

「老師。」賴妍突然嚴肅的開口，「你覺得數學的意義到底是什麼？數學又是為何而存在？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDJk1mr73Q
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaRyMKNWAw

「數學是為何而存在…………？」老師陷入沉思。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsANA9dRPjc
  除了賴妍之外的同學們臉色一沉。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVeLWc0zUpN
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasm8tVwzWt

「老師！別中計啊！」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEotoWj85n
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBFC60sywv

「這傢伙的腦子才不會思考這種深奧的東西呢！」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eIc4rIMIs
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFnnyCaezb

「她只是單純不想上數學課而已啊！」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1JmBO80rs
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyAZk5kCzh

    不過老師抬起手制止了那些警告他的同學。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDK6RqkF1oQ
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMvqc9rPlF

「我認為……」在思考片刻之後，老師開口，

「數學是使生活變得更方便的工具。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX78Vg3hGjg
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhHHvyygvL

「真的是這樣嗎？」賴妍問。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPhUiJUzS1
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSaCjz47aH

「古埃及人與巴比倫人靠著幾何學的幫助，建造出了許多壯觀的建築物！牛頓發明的微積分也間接造福了許多人類！」老師越說越激動，「所以我才會選擇就讀數學系，成為數學老師！數學對我來說就是世界的真理！就是絕對的信仰！」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiLUQCk1rt
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjwBomGLmh

「那……如果我說，」賴妍緩緩開口，「我能反駁你的論點呢？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRbzAXDQVJ
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanmA12OdA1

「什──」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmY87JkaxP6
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MZSk2IbiB

「如果我能證明…………數學並不是世界的真理呢？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKct4JjbNaW
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxiQNfXrCF

「臭小鬼！妳明白妳在說什麼嗎！妳說的話是對神的褻瀆！」代課老師憤怒地吼道。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1xf0G9rsb
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMwzeXIpFX

「那個，班長，」坐在我後面的男同學輕聲對我說，「這部不是日常番嗎？為什麼會出現戰鬥番的台詞？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpe9WQ0ebb3
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndE1H4MPK7

「我也很好奇啊！而且現在不是數學課嗎！」

  

  最重要的是，代課老師已經在不知不覺間步入了賴妍「不想上課」的節奏之中，這才是她被稱為瘋狗的最大原因。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpfrBQidIW
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    真正恐怖的地方還在後頭。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfJR3XLNhv
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluSE6YySRB

「老師……你知道數學的英文，Math的意義，其實是Mental Abuse To Humans，也就是人類精神虐待的意思喔？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxc95vJDo1
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepfBSLbvRw

「那只是討厭數學的人提出的可悲巧合而已！」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rCMMuMp5M
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22mkTamP7B

    賴妍歪頭。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PnHL2pyOU
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7alk7CcfV7

「如果數學是真理，為什麼有人會討厭祂呢？」她問道。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qpKdjT2j9
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjllHvdzpHK

「因為世界上總是有許多自以為是的人！他們只因為生活不如預期，就怪罪到神聖的信仰上面！」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzu2dYojurB
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr97hbndiBx

「生活不如預期？你是指生活中的事發生無法用真理解釋的情況嗎？還是生活並沒有想像中的便利？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfW6GqPiQf
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrEeZS1i6B

「世上所有的事情一定都有辦法用真理來說明！」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeH2m4xxGPs
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoJrdr9meC

「真的嗎？」賴妍正色道，「那我舉個簡單的例子吧。您有看過商店中『買二送一』的活動嗎？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2NYpMMqgb
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GjPPQpiOG

「當然有。」代課老師不耐煩地回答。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPB5IBZNDQK
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyH4fEdzz0e

「那麼一加一等於幾？這只是單純的數學問題，不是腦筋急轉彎喔。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMD4sjY7uL
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyVQM848FM

「一加一等於二。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcll8KSFcL
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjWS9KPVo1

「啊咧？奇怪了？」賴妍故意用困惑的語氣說到，「我只付了兩個物品的價錢，為什麼我得到了三倍的利潤？好奇怪吶～」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvml8JVAgl
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tCNgJefus

「……咦？」老師愣住了。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXPXMrGxWU
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkR0a93HZl

「這樣子算式就變成了『一加一等於三』而不是真理所說的二了呢。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABTLW7Jinc
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFecDLB61Ck

「什…怎麼會……」代課老師開始感到恐慌。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdMyjmXZNB
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0pQhkxlUfD

「老師別中計啊！那只是一種行銷手法而已啊！」我大喊。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87Ck3oGjJx
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcmKriUr3r

「我…但是、但是一加一應該……還是等於二啊…………？」代課老師緩緩抬頭，用困惑而渙散的眼神看著我，就像一位瀕臨崩潰的精神病患者。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kadEjvfud
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQCrkaBjPn

    完蛋了。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7e343O8sJ
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6dLGZ2DVX

「我再舉一個例子吧。」賴妍再次開口。「剛剛說了一加一等於三，但是這也不是正確答案。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTpnLnBWWD
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtv1wPIOkfR

「您應該也知道結婚是什麼吧？就是長期的一對一賣春契約。」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNGy8lAVWG
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIqWalIZrU

「才不是這樣！」我吐槽。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLHL6G7DPm
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9douUPGLQ1

「好奇怪吶。住在我家隔壁的王叔叔明明結婚了，為什麼最近兩個月，在王阿姨不在的週五晚上，還會出現另外六個女人陪他過夜呢？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuEwAqqJiP
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHK5kqUolEt

「這種事情你應該早點去跟王阿姨說才對吧！」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5y0QhBJcF
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkugs23V048

「咦咦，」賴妍不理我，「一加一不是等於三嗎？為什麼同時又等於八呢？」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOK4KAiwXo2
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡar7BDsfszy

「為什麼啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師抱住頭，驚慌失措地尖叫。「為什麼真理要遺棄我啊啊啊啊！」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENjZOQf8uO
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKJ4dZIiQI

「沒錯，就是因為人們被你所說的真理拋棄，才會轉而討厭，甚至憎恨數學。對他們來說，數學不只不是世界上的真理，更不是讓生活變得更方便的工具！」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBasyMpO95
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAlOtcVapI

    賴妍深呼吸，補上了最後一擊：「對他們來說，數學只是讓生活更不方便的枷鎖！只是阻礙人類發展的、根本沒有存在必要的、無用垃圾而已啊！」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYKl6t4MT7
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsOt0ZIsH2

「啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊……」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BMUI3DuWl
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoKeltkPU7

    老師緩緩蹲下，雙手抱住膝蓋，露出自己長久以來深信的事情在一夕之間被摧毀的表情。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhy1Ep34JG
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBTvFGb7R9

  這時，去化學教室放酒精燈的三岐回來了。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA23oopfJC4

    老師彷彿看見了希望一般，朝著三岐跑過去，抓住了他的肩膀，用力地前後搖動。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SaHUfIzHX
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgyO5JNr8H

「同學！一加一等於多少！」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOijuZZOSpL
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LU18PhVPz

「咦？」在狀況外的三岐很錯愕。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLo5iKsczBs
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbJ2rPUhyC

    賴妍露出了勝利的微笑，坐回位子上，舒服的翹起二郎腿，抓著桌上的白蘭地仰頭灌了一大口。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCzadOrVA1
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2eWL6KrJS

「到底等於多少啊啊啊啊啊！！！」代課老師瘋狂地大喊。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9L2FcW0Az1
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyRPRRl4Nn

「等、等於五十……」一天到晚吃麥O勞的三岐結結巴巴的回答。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzL8OAevQQ
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXwfMdVPzq

「三等於八、八等於五十……等式應該不成立才…三又等於五十……啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！」代課老師崩潰了，尖叫著衝出了教室。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FDiDzysMV
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIC7E0aZSdi

    全班盯著三岐。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaKjzPD7ZP
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9qlVtuZQ4

「欸？我做錯什麼了嗎？」三岐很錯愕。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnwDHPkWFo
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBpQzkvY10

    賴妍抬頭看了一眼教室牆上的時鐘。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5EApEKjsN
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY50lYNz3MK

「呦喜！多賺到了半小時下課時間。」她握拳。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TAVWmwLqm
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekpBu7ZiYG

「呦喜妳個大頭！他被你弄壞了啦！」我慌張地大喊，「全班快點出去幫忙找代課老師啊！」283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQBx0Wjaen
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33vGnKTgLX
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當日結果：283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHf67jnJtYD
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7EDiSeaHk

    在數學科辦公室全體數學老師的幫忙下，於放學前在校舍頂樓的花圃角落發現了喃喃自語著「三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十我被神拋棄了嗚嗚嗚我要成為一棵用費波納契數列整齊排列的植物三等於八等於五十三等於八等於五十…」的代課老師，並送到附近醫院的精神科治療。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTE3zaSSu0
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNVu3XZl9C

    賴妍被記了一支大過（目前總共七支）。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvQIqprZbM
283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdagniFxWi

    柳困依然單身。283Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbM7Vh0zIQN