在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgr7WWA75HO
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTM5shsoxrb
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtlJ94snVd
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jXvDLTG6C
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQDuIgvakd
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63p0coCzv5
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUM8bZc8dE
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQ7eLlpbJZ
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToMAQsWGwF
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqih1AmgKPv
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQRf4ZFL3c
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfxznQyMqn
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZVAxEDb4i
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UmGaaEtG6
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFTFIJT7Pg
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6N7to2bpK
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBInnV7cXp
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIpDkvP5Dp
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RTJ0WZJzj
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs23h4rK9cE
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4x2RD3h2SJ
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdu6PIhaNU
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZHalnQ2Fj
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvGxKEwbvI
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQfSliHGNe
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HG9dqGrSu
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueMD8l0jho
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTU5XtQgLz
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SqcyX6DMJ
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARu5JHzLzM
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO85mPniXCx
Annie：我真係好自卑599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38IIiQmisS
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0P2y1cIPfs
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCL2hNTQtN
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNctQZJrS0
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLFyd5dKbi
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOL1gqmiKF
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYR4Gdhnxg
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObZwMOdVeA
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MgSLkZk4J
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe94LDLEWrn
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25dX8HYucA
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡair6LEQE8X
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSCCOVJVWu
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYbEnBFsQQ
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tLtS4dbhh
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKWc18sUAC
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3UoZpyydr
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJ0kkw6K9w
我：我好想食豬扒飯。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogdM7l2oyT
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBR6TO8LMEY
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzVIAltX3p
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGF5Yy61Xf5
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGWyLyf9yH
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8heclKWjSE
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6txjisTxVx
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYhp79c5m8
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtXbqzHHEt
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqMIHzZmaT
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLiqnnQDdN
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMz38oUcOUI
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPtIizS1Rf
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbF0Iuo3lWD
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1393STgBNJ
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9rv8yfiUt
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8I8n6Dr5sr
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLxJltYWa2
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtaoCKmRrF
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dn2fg6Kxi
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9W6aQk5jZp
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymi7u47xF7
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Svc8ByXO6
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4UKcX3vxj
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXzQ6KJJkD
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRtSxvBfo9
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKH71bzeie8
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtOOFioBlf
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtar3z7M6T
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAvQyp0ZvH
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIPxDyvNGR
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWQDXXW75F
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkd7cJT6N8U
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWDCvU1obu
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cEzpaOfFk
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOA48aqxD0O
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3RfSu7MCj
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhtz5bMiGG
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchMZ2Sf22f
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kqqJUpf2c
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKpbYuWk31
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSngUyeOkk
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3PBQ8aiCe
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdXhhVj7sk
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXvTFIfNFu
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaocIkMZiOw
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXaMAViIHq
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINBawqtXch
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArpiaTdaqQ
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrL9gFOWRv
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcj2pu3s06w
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGalyPWzeJx
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrcdR2T6LN
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEY68U5vgtI
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LR4cEaxEX
我：我憑直覺亂估咋599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSA2UzEsYq
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoFFtCxh4V
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡparauQpsJ3
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR30DSUUBgZ
我思索了一會，然後回覆。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6Ei3eX43p
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBC3qzOm4LK
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62atF5551E
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYugL2neFnl
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WqnLddkds
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDp0vloAbz
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkcDGlg7gR
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjkRjUnV0K
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhk85DhLve
我：你本身都係bi？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4TJR3PxL8
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxu3u8WD7P3
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvamzoQ9mV
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6huKoqdGd7
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4rf8uGoFY
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRgfPTZrhM
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9H8HAsL4P
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUkZmoXhO4
我：人工閪😏599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1d2drRyno
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4DB3YtkgW
Annie：😳😳599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKmt9wYWn9
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TE7j1Mv5T
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzs3ULZmJD
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3v8xjvkjm
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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