在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。599Please respect copyright.PENANAgr7WWA75HO
599Please respect copyright.PENANATM5shsoxrb
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:599Please respect copyright.PENANAMtlJ94snVd
599Please respect copyright.PENANA7jXvDLTG6C
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?599Please respect copyright.PENANAkQDuIgvakd
599Please respect copyright.PENANA63p0coCzv5
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANARUM8bZc8dE
599Please respect copyright.PENANAvQ7eLlpbJZ
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。599Please respect copyright.PENANAToMAQsWGwF
599Please respect copyright.PENANAqih1AmgKPv
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。599Please respect copyright.PENANAdQRf4ZFL3c
599Please respect copyright.PENANATfxznQyMqn
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!599Please respect copyright.PENANAkZVAxEDb4i
599Please respect copyright.PENANA6UmGaaEtG6
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。599Please respect copyright.PENANAWFTFIJT7Pg
599Please respect copyright.PENANAX6N7to2bpK
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。599Please respect copyright.PENANAmBInnV7cXp
599Please respect copyright.PENANAyIpDkvP5Dp
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。599Please respect copyright.PENANA1RTJ0WZJzj
599Please respect copyright.PENANAs23h4rK9cE
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。599Please respect copyright.PENANA4x2RD3h2SJ
599Please respect copyright.PENANAJdu6PIhaNU
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。599Please respect copyright.PENANAUZHalnQ2Fj
599Please respect copyright.PENANAGvGxKEwbvI
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAoQfSliHGNe
599Please respect copyright.PENANA3HG9dqGrSu
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣599Please respect copyright.PENANAueMD8l0jho
599Please respect copyright.PENANAxTU5XtQgLz
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?599Please respect copyright.PENANA2SqcyX6DMJ
599Please respect copyright.PENANAARu5JHzLzM
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我599Please respect copyright.PENANAO85mPniXCx
Annie:我真係好自卑599Please respect copyright.PENANA38IIiQmisS
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有599Please respect copyright.PENANA0P2y1cIPfs
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。599Please respect copyright.PENANANCL2hNTQtN
599Please respect copyright.PENANAkNctQZJrS0
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。599Please respect copyright.PENANAmLFyd5dKbi
599Please respect copyright.PENANAvOL1gqmiKF
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。599Please respect copyright.PENANASYR4Gdhnxg
599Please respect copyright.PENANAObZwMOdVeA
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。599Please respect copyright.PENANA5MgSLkZk4J
599Please respect copyright.PENANAe94LDLEWrn
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。599Please respect copyright.PENANA25dX8HYucA
599Please respect copyright.PENANAair6LEQE8X
或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。599Please respect copyright.PENANAPSCCOVJVWu
599Please respect copyright.PENANApYbEnBFsQQ
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?599Please respect copyright.PENANA1tLtS4dbhh
599Please respect copyright.PENANAFKWc18sUAC
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。599Please respect copyright.PENANAn3UoZpyydr
599Please respect copyright.PENANAgJ0kkw6K9w
我:我好想食豬扒飯。599Please respect copyright.PENANAogdM7l2oyT
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANABR6TO8LMEY
599Please respect copyright.PENANAxzVIAltX3p
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!599Please respect copyright.PENANAGF5Yy61Xf5
599Please respect copyright.PENANARGWyLyf9yH
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。599Please respect copyright.PENANA8heclKWjSE
599Please respect copyright.PENANA6txjisTxVx
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAGYhp79c5m8
599Please respect copyright.PENANAZtXbqzHHEt
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑599Please respect copyright.PENANAnqMIHzZmaT
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒599Please respect copyright.PENANAVLiqnnQDdN
599Please respect copyright.PENANAMz38oUcOUI
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。599Please respect copyright.PENANAVPtIizS1Rf
599Please respect copyright.PENANAbF0Iuo3lWD
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。599Please respect copyright.PENANA1393STgBNJ
599Please respect copyright.PENANAn9rv8yfiUt
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。599Please respect copyright.PENANA8I8n6Dr5sr
599Please respect copyright.PENANAyLxJltYWa2
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。599Please respect copyright.PENANAdtaoCKmRrF
599Please respect copyright.PENANA9dn2fg6Kxi
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。599Please respect copyright.PENANA9W6aQk5jZp
599Please respect copyright.PENANAymi7u47xF7
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。599Please respect copyright.PENANA3Svc8ByXO6
599Please respect copyright.PENANAK4UKcX3vxj
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?599Please respect copyright.PENANACXzQ6KJJkD
599Please respect copyright.PENANAgRtSxvBfo9
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。599Please respect copyright.PENANAKH71bzeie8
599Please respect copyright.PENANAZtOOFioBlf
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。599Please respect copyright.PENANAZtar3z7M6T
599Please respect copyright.PENANAXAvQyp0ZvH
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。599Please respect copyright.PENANAQIPxDyvNGR
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺599Please respect copyright.PENANAxWQDXXW75F
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走599Please respect copyright.PENANAkd7cJT6N8U
599Please respect copyright.PENANANWDCvU1obu
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANA8cEzpaOfFk
599Please respect copyright.PENANAOA48aqxD0O
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大599Please respect copyright.PENANAH3RfSu7MCj
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身599Please respect copyright.PENANAZhtz5bMiGG
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J599Please respect copyright.PENANAchMZ2Sf22f
599Please respect copyright.PENANA3kqqJUpf2c
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAJKpbYuWk31
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAbSngUyeOkk
599Please respect copyright.PENANAp3PBQ8aiCe
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。599Please respect copyright.PENANAMdXhhVj7sk
599Please respect copyright.PENANAdXvTFIfNFu
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。599Please respect copyright.PENANAaocIkMZiOw
599Please respect copyright.PENANAzXaMAViIHq
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。599Please respect copyright.PENANAINBawqtXch
599Please respect copyright.PENANAArpiaTdaqQ
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?599Please respect copyright.PENANASrL9gFOWRv
599Please respect copyright.PENANAcj2pu3s06w
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAGalyPWzeJx
599Please respect copyright.PENANALrcdR2T6LN
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAEY68U5vgtI
599Please respect copyright.PENANA1LR4cEaxEX
我:我憑直覺亂估咋599Please respect copyright.PENANABSA2UzEsYq
599Please respect copyright.PENANAnoFFtCxh4V
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?599Please respect copyright.PENANAparauQpsJ3
599Please respect copyright.PENANAR30DSUUBgZ
我思索了一會,然後回覆。599Please respect copyright.PENANAj6Ei3eX43p
599Please respect copyright.PENANABC3qzOm4LK
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。599Please respect copyright.PENANA62atF5551E
599Please respect copyright.PENANAYugL2neFnl
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。599Please respect copyright.PENANA3WqnLddkds
599Please respect copyright.PENANADDp0vloAbz
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy599Please respect copyright.PENANAwkcDGlg7gR
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度599Please respect copyright.PENANAPjkRjUnV0K
599Please respect copyright.PENANAdhk85DhLve
我:你本身都係bi?599Please respect copyright.PENANAG4TJR3PxL8
599Please respect copyright.PENANAxu3u8WD7P3
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑599Please respect copyright.PENANAHvamzoQ9mV
599Please respect copyright.PENANA6huKoqdGd7
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水599Please respect copyright.PENANAy4rf8uGoFY
599Please respect copyright.PENANARRgfPTZrhM
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?599Please respect copyright.PENANAR9H8HAsL4P
599Please respect copyright.PENANAkUkZmoXhO4
我:人工閪😏599Please respect copyright.PENANAY1d2drRyno
599Please respect copyright.PENANAR4DB3YtkgW
Annie:😳😳599Please respect copyright.PENANAaKmt9wYWn9
599Please respect copyright.PENANA8TE7j1Mv5T
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAYzs3ULZmJD
599Please respect copyright.PENANAa3v8xjvkjm
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?