Priscilla：你嚟唔嚟我屋企睇Netflix？436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJUU5xQN06
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSJPXORMqO
慶祝過後，我就決定到Priscilla家暫過一晚。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVdN0qXTeP
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBs6M5gVtAe
我：你屋企人會俾我嚟咩？436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4E2vaWtCF
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NAnxS2deG
Priscilla：我屋企人都喺上面，喺香港我冇親人。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzQXtRFZrn
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYAhRq9E6F
了解過後，才知原來她當初是為了工作，才來香港申請永久居民。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeuTVaJqdC
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HfJsobOKY
最後，我們在麥當勞點了一份二人套餐，就這樣上去Priscilla所租住的地方。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eEdRHskHt
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FhaBt7rXZ
Priscilla所住的房子是一人房，空間和面積如我大學宿舍的二人房，她的房間也蠻整齊的，有陳列架放著她的書、化妝品，床邊也放著一些玩偶，她還懂得用精緻的白色系和綠色系的蕾絲窗簾布，來裝飾自己的房間。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0tKdUnOXv
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzokTo0kE6N
Priscilla：你有帶褲來換嗎？436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOE5iICGmu
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNGdBmimEm
我：當然沒有啊。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCkOPLicyI
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtmLHI99Jb
Priscilla：我這裡有一條大碼的睡褲，應該很適合你穿。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQ8yQ2e5rL
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbwzLr204I
我脫下外套，和換上她給的女裝睡褲，便爬上床上和她一起看Netflix上的劇集。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1S1WNfLfJ
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkFeu2G50b
嚴格來說，這條睡褲算不上是女裝，而是一條很中性的睡褲。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJd2Fsw3e2V
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3aish5yLtr
Priscilla：同你講，格離室友住嘅房仲大過我呢度一倍，但租就只係貴幾百。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AhtkEpiCm
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsK7UgSk0G
我：你呢度係專租俾女仔住？436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaVKTcja68
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZZKs1yPPQ
Priscilla：係呀。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2rNW71FRZ
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0YOpnlkWU
我：咁點解你又俾我上嚟嘅？你唔驚我做啲咩㗎咩？436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWuXIZTPyr
（我對她微笑地問。）436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMDBALNvD4
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5DNMXm3Q3
Priscilla：就係因為你係偽娘所以先俾你上嚟。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8K1CmD7LUy
Priscilla：我當你係女仔先俾你上嚟。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppN499oywc
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOnlBfqrYV
她說完，我不心想：難道我已經落入了Friendzone？436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrd7p61Hvr
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGIsGQZ2SE
Priscilla：你想看甚麼？436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06kI4Ndypx
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT57VpsrhFu
我：睇下有冇咩日劇先啦。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTZ7TOMaXE
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDjETXlFqR
Priscilla在iPad上滑著，表示她正在使用朋友的帳號，於是她又問我要不要一起開個屬於自己的帳號。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVJm1yYjc6
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVuSLR7vhD
我：不如就開個account啦。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiVHHpOvdo
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeq04dtqsQ
Priscilla：咁我哋就分返每個月嘅台費啦，我出住錢先。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtv7ccRzM8
Priscilla：密碼你自己定啦。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkHxvpqmR8
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMqMpNc7bD
我：咁⋯⋯密碼就用我個名，同埋今日嘅日期啦！436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4MyXvO0Z5
我：就叫「watergod20220201」啦。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91rKqnltYK
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdN9xJlz3On
雖然現今科技發達，有Google會幫人記住自己在任何網站設下的帳戶和密碼；但我心裡還是希望Priscilla會記住我的名字，還有今天的日子。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ147acEXIQy
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIp1RbaMQT
Priscilla：不如就睇呢套啦！436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIAwP08JBz
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3C2PEXUsOd
於是，她就點進了《勿說是推理》。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOh6ViVOxu
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyQGefV7Fl
Priscilla：你唔洗返屋企咩？436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtKainYRuL
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DMNzSe7vo
我：睇完先再算啦。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsaS6DvLOV
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAUO9a64J5
我們的身子都是橫向地躺在床上，身子是半坐半躺的，各自地蓋上毛氈；只有把腿子捲起來，才會勉強地把全身放在床上，我和她的距離，已經是肩碰肩。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbigKC4XAt
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXwUZbSrBE
看了很久，她自自然然地睡著了，而我也借著自己疲累的身軀，打算順勢地睡在她身上；可是理性又告訴我，用這樣的「肢體接觸」來推進關係，太冒險了，結果我只是往攬枕裡睡著。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bYsJ6z4wl
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zwpLIt50K
-----大年初一的早上-----436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMYDSqztZs
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5GIABe9TX
我們的早餐，就是去飲茶。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEE0jWnJHSI
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4r00Obyxb
「奶黃包！」侍應有禮地送上了其中一道點心，點心上的每個白臉小包，都印上了一個黃色的笑表情，我有點以為自己在吃Lihkg的頭像。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8T7T9ejuZp
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nlHZhXJHS
Priscilla：你會搵男仔定女仔拍拖㗎？436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmj33YIBeq
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUtusWGvBo
這已經是不知第幾次，被人問上這種問題了。每當我被人這樣問的時候，我總是要思考一會才能回答。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruOiGwzmBo
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwnHeQkkZb
我：搵女仔拍拖就梗㗎啦，但我唔知應唔應該叫自己做無性戀。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt77Af2pVby
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZUEeBNAha
根據「無性戀」的定義，是指一個人對任何性別的人感受不到，又或者是只感受到很微弱的性吸引力。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWjUo1Wyl3
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7x8VOyd9EG
如果直接問我的性取向，就如發問這樣的數學題：0除以0等於多少？0？1？無限？無解？無意義？436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDYDNMZkEY
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXe6syxoNc
對我自己來說，最優先的性傾向就是戀物、其次才是跟女生進行性行為；而且我極少會主動去想像跟女生在床上活動的畫面。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpU4QmJtGo
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RI4VQHjbB
都是那個比喻：我最喜歡吃魚，但不等於抗拒吃豬；平日如果要二選其一的話，我當然選擇吃魚；但如果有人主動請我吃豬的話，我還是會開放地接受吃豬。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YfTijBhsn
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrY0H7YIqCm
只膚淺地說我是異性戀，不準確；雖然在浪漫的情感上，我也是追求一個女生談戀愛；但在性的層面上，我的最優先傾向是戀物，女生才是其次。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOppw5Iv2z
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYzKMJq8iS
說我是無性戀，也不準確；因為我也有戀物的傾向，會看黃色網頁，這已經是一種性生活。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhuwlZTT7S
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPD3U9AU1yU
我不敢直接向Priscilla說自己是戀物，怕她接受不了。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUBMIgZa8I
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAi4X8H9uQp
Priscilla：講真，憑我嘅雷達，我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBu5wPUIV7e
Priscilla：我又唔覺得你係直，又唔覺得你係gay。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mnxneCJyg
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLFcgCSvGF
我：你第一次扑野係幾時？436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBjAyOte6V
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEtMvoWdi3
Priscilla：8年前我喺英國同過一個男仔上床。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxa1Fa1zAB
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6ocoWwgAm
接著，她說起自己的情史，我才了解到，她有過至少一次的上床經驗，我沒有再詳細過問她在英國時的那段經歷；但估計她和那個洋漢的關係，都是停留在FWB（friends with benefits）的關係。我有這樣的推測，是因為相信，很少人能夠接受異地戀。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNSOv4nIGz
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87vzkgQV4C
又以我和Yuli（Ch.19出現）的關係為例，換著是我或者是Yuli，對於在外地人物的感情處理，很多時候都是「玩過就算」的心態。如果有真正到外地留學或工作的人（又或者是趁著假期回流到香港玩）都知道，常見的例子就是，你到一個像蘭桂坊這樣的地方消遣，運氣好的話隨時能讓你遇到一個心儀的目標跟你上床；但，上床過後是否真的成為了大家常說的男女朋友？有多少人最終真的把「佢」（中文書面語的性別代詞只有「他」和「她」，太二元我不喜歡在此使用。）抱回你的家鄉？又或者「佢」令到你住在異鄉一起生活？436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhyjA4JCIu
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZY3xI3c0W
Priscilla真正認真的關係，是在4年前。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5flvF2sIq7
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbIMzfzybY
Priscilla：我上一任男朋友係4年前，嗰時係我家人介紹俾我嘅。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEWU2eF8CL
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYevq63X8sh
我：咁拍咗幾耐？436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oF7Ob2HnN
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhSAdm8JBm
Priscilla：都9個月，之後就係因為佢對我用冷暴力，所以分手。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FOAVMGEHy
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXy83trqz4
當她剛才說到「我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力」的時候，我在想：是否她對我沒有feel？436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidKmRoCSti
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFymLFu1eae
可是當我聽完她的基本情史之後，她那兩段的關係相隔的時間，4年，也有點久，不禁讓我想到另一種可能：她也是不容易投入情感的人嗎？以她的條件，也經常接觸不同的人，要遇上幾百個男生絕對不是問題，要找上一個條件比我好的人，都不是問題，為甚還需要家人的介紹？而且到現在還是沒有男朋友？即使很多香港男生不喜歡大陸人，但如果要為拍拖而拍拖的話，最終也是會找上她呀。真讓人有點摸不透。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gWKwjJqde
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISWKtbdoeE
Priscilla：你係咪有好多女性朋友㗎？436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZL6dpOq3J
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25ahq3wVyh
我：我冇乜女仔friend㗎。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3C4EEeOex
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdpy3IxQ8N
Priscilla：下？你咁都冇？偽娘唔係應該有好多女性朋友咩？436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iP0q9BQ5p
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnShGWyzVh
我：幼稚園至到小學初期嗰時會，但而家冇曬呢種緣份lu。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkIfeaNmtt
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelXzxEAyqm
我：講起上次拍拖，都已經係8年前，嗰個女仔係喺Facebook識。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYUmy1Hr0v
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FWdvTVbUf
說著，我又說起自己的情史。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS826QzlGWR
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFf9EftkXaX
8年前的那段關係，又是從網上開始，印象之中是談了兩個星期左右就出門相見。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4htk5lDB3
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaobtTWpJ05
我：嗰個女仔，又幾主動，我從未試過做主動嗰個，去拖人隻手，係佢拖我手先。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SHBh3NEPv
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXyqxaciEW
我：然後就係，「拖」「攬」「錫」做齊，只差攪野。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAd023pkwL
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWbfsfYktL
簡單而言，大家的關係就在stage 3（錫）止步。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9zo3voyyq
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VOwTisful
雖然很多無性戀者對性行為（所謂的Stage 4和5）沒有興趣，但是很多都還是喜歡被牽手（拖）、擁抱（攬）、親吻（錫），享受純愛的感覺。 436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzswvGTHWuz
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCZdA72N8f
就連我自己的愛情觀裡，也是相信只有「純愛」，只進行 「拖」「攬」「錫」就夠，再上兩級就不了。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViVrYWuA9s
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiF9VMiPyr
這也是我一直以來仍是「處」的主因。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHxvABdfKV
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycoChCO0nY
我：最後拍左一個月就散。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EP8H4xzOY
我：就係因為頂唔順佢太過霸道，脾氣又差，所以先分手。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqkLE0NAFk
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjA26oxs5nj
那個時候的我，「偽娘」這個靈魂仍然是深深地封印在自己的心裡，連我自己也幾乎沒有察覺，我可是完全以社會講的男性型象來生活。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ISoMqJOj8
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoB37pvScPv
老實說，即使是現在，我也很討厭女生霸道，這樣我駕馭不了。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdTGLUCm8b
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihx31B4oau
Priscilla：我聽講港女係咁㗎。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6iWJChHTq
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpAJJUcGnt
我：係，但你又唔好以偏概全，都唔係一定嘅。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfZhN314Ei
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWBlMU8YFV
這頓早茶，以AA制完。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jxSmlAmyO
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSFJ0dSfn0
我送著Priscilla回家，在路上，「肢體接觸」這四個字像一個鋼造的框架，牢牢地鎖在自己的腦海裡，又是那做為做而做的接觸。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSD0vWyx7Sb
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2XWixSzCx
在過馬路時，我眼睛又是瞄著她的手臀，想了一想，好不容易才敢伸手撓下去。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4Zk2WCZFa
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBf1RFMHgo
我：下次再玩啦！436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Z7RdeAQnd
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs89ifmBBuX
Priscilla：來一個抱抱吧！436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORM2LUL3fl
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPRR7SOEdA
在Priscilla家的大廳裡，我和她來了一個擁抱道別。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JV8vyjMIY
436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLndCcHdshy
這個擁抱，只能算是一般社交式的擁抱；因為我很清楚地感受到，她只是來了一秒，然後就抽身離開，彷彿不再讓我擁抱多幾秒。436Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0NZRHGUZw
Penana
search
登入arrow_drop_down
註冊arrow_drop_down
