在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。599Please respect copyright.PENANAxExL1ktNcE
599Please respect copyright.PENANAsY4NLoX3VX
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:599Please respect copyright.PENANAIvA749oEDb
599Please respect copyright.PENANA241sUUQC8u
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?599Please respect copyright.PENANASWLP81fOHV
599Please respect copyright.PENANAzTrgt1qjBL
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAIwjM8vMryi
599Please respect copyright.PENANAUbzLy9lEpg
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。599Please respect copyright.PENANAxGMr4kmTsX
599Please respect copyright.PENANATPrayCGRqa
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。599Please respect copyright.PENANAlkWQjXg8DT
599Please respect copyright.PENANAvUpUD6Bt8c
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!599Please respect copyright.PENANAuFJaTXtEP5
599Please respect copyright.PENANATVDsGmZWGl
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。599Please respect copyright.PENANAs1TviWZZBk
599Please respect copyright.PENANALqIlKThneg
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。599Please respect copyright.PENANApuOwvjaxEe
599Please respect copyright.PENANAhOyBSTxolT
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。599Please respect copyright.PENANACxpplozbGD
599Please respect copyright.PENANAM7h4cRV5vb
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。599Please respect copyright.PENANAW3A99W9vs4
599Please respect copyright.PENANAhSkqn89YWT
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。599Please respect copyright.PENANAy8xKltSlq7
599Please respect copyright.PENANArn5XGs0MVv
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANA64C5aM28J8
599Please respect copyright.PENANAqlrmUfIJmf
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣599Please respect copyright.PENANABhiW1DRyVO
599Please respect copyright.PENANAyz26KDtzkz
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?599Please respect copyright.PENANAuYkssU2hwK
599Please respect copyright.PENANACAqu4C15Ta
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我599Please respect copyright.PENANASfuZDq7HPP
Annie:我真係好自卑599Please respect copyright.PENANAhBMKG7zkOB
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有599Please respect copyright.PENANATKCSk5E53u
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。599Please respect copyright.PENANAMsNdfFdvVm
599Please respect copyright.PENANAZwL5YqCC0e
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。599Please respect copyright.PENANAabnJgSFr1V
599Please respect copyright.PENANARy3b9WMXhU
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。599Please respect copyright.PENANA3Xbv3trd2I
599Please respect copyright.PENANAUodDvaMp34
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。599Please respect copyright.PENANAzadO2HBnr4
599Please respect copyright.PENANAFdykniE3yy
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。599Please respect copyright.PENANAfUWKCZkJkg
599Please respect copyright.PENANAYzLue5IqxJ
或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。599Please respect copyright.PENANAypymEn4jsK
599Please respect copyright.PENANATEqIWLfQwD
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?599Please respect copyright.PENANAFqHPXvKl7n
599Please respect copyright.PENANAlp1c2sFILq
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。599Please respect copyright.PENANAt1qZWhMxBs
599Please respect copyright.PENANAQCJr4S8gQ1
我:我好想食豬扒飯。599Please respect copyright.PENANAdzvE3gARIn
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANANJvFGAcJok
599Please respect copyright.PENANAjeclwdbcuT
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!599Please respect copyright.PENANAIaByMgzxkn
599Please respect copyright.PENANAbISs3mdnUi
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。599Please respect copyright.PENANAkQ2ZJMDWqQ
599Please respect copyright.PENANAB1asQBrPy4
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAGIlXIx3q5L
599Please respect copyright.PENANAAnBPxfm9TN
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑599Please respect copyright.PENANAVu2xutMvcZ
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒599Please respect copyright.PENANAvutxHDvmEO
599Please respect copyright.PENANASVN9fqLhiH
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。599Please respect copyright.PENANAfQLflubt0P
599Please respect copyright.PENANAujxbT9gyZ0
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。599Please respect copyright.PENANAIybk2KattN
599Please respect copyright.PENANAOBIdccGmyM
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。599Please respect copyright.PENANAuegH3UyLfi
599Please respect copyright.PENANApS4gxeukcG
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。599Please respect copyright.PENANA33lal465kt
599Please respect copyright.PENANAtkiuBcv8r1
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。599Please respect copyright.PENANAYdSDk3XxD1
599Please respect copyright.PENANAYG5PXEwnOn
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。599Please respect copyright.PENANAYrTnktXLXx
599Please respect copyright.PENANAdyde5G9rbe
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?599Please respect copyright.PENANATtfLDlGGys
599Please respect copyright.PENANAWY61fBLz3L
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。599Please respect copyright.PENANAMbYS3fUKdN
599Please respect copyright.PENANA5WTZ3gxF0T
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。599Please respect copyright.PENANACC4dNMjwej
599Please respect copyright.PENANA0UaNdy8R9b
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。599Please respect copyright.PENANAxbR8peQ9We
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺599Please respect copyright.PENANAFtVkzKYKkv
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走599Please respect copyright.PENANAvjU0XlKACR
599Please respect copyright.PENANAgariPNLge5
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANA6pqmKIO3l7
599Please respect copyright.PENANA2KXCUV1wPI
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大599Please respect copyright.PENANAgXKrjnNVHA
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身599Please respect copyright.PENANANmMTIVVq3n
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J599Please respect copyright.PENANAh8fcDmd9zf
599Please respect copyright.PENANAeBnKWMMRQ7
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAD7akzXH370
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAnqoIAnWHSi
599Please respect copyright.PENANAHQgkD5k082
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。599Please respect copyright.PENANAz3dsRsArBS
599Please respect copyright.PENANAIy31lKvTSO
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。599Please respect copyright.PENANA4eWEfVYH9q
599Please respect copyright.PENANAD1D3qJ6z2P
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。599Please respect copyright.PENANAvBjlYcU8Cd
599Please respect copyright.PENANAPt2GeiAYhy
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?599Please respect copyright.PENANAdudBUSjBjl
599Please respect copyright.PENANAfJON66EyXK
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANA6v3tiHknnt
599Please respect copyright.PENANAUsmZveE5nC
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAFC0XQsLBFo
599Please respect copyright.PENANA5XldUZP5f3
我:我憑直覺亂估咋599Please respect copyright.PENANAidMIY32GA5
599Please respect copyright.PENANAAe5ogZiG8I
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?599Please respect copyright.PENANAT5oi79EPwG
599Please respect copyright.PENANAjud0Zm6mZN
我思索了一會,然後回覆。599Please respect copyright.PENANAgnKrOzelIZ
599Please respect copyright.PENANAkC1MzgOUW6
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。599Please respect copyright.PENANAyIxBiaMuK6
599Please respect copyright.PENANAGJ9OPMnk9n
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。599Please respect copyright.PENANAJTHSLirSeR
599Please respect copyright.PENANAdiBdkyKdoJ
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy599Please respect copyright.PENANAHmmktVgRX4
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度599Please respect copyright.PENANA9OoBL5h7x5
599Please respect copyright.PENANAkxmwpYMso4
我:你本身都係bi?599Please respect copyright.PENANALmmcL6TuFz
599Please respect copyright.PENANAhXym7AHcoF
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑599Please respect copyright.PENANAO3DQ49NLEZ
599Please respect copyright.PENANAjLGUkS3G8R
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水599Please respect copyright.PENANA0m33UCsEub
599Please respect copyright.PENANAHztFlJDLgw
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?599Please respect copyright.PENANAcu5IEX0QZ0
599Please respect copyright.PENANAPFDjaI5AiX
我:人工閪😏599Please respect copyright.PENANA6lmDTw3IOO
599Please respect copyright.PENANA7NTZ0Jc0Me
Annie:😳😳599Please respect copyright.PENANAb7J0RH1cNO
599Please respect copyright.PENANAHijHCyxcFg
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAxiIoKVdnOW
599Please respect copyright.PENANAOlBtoPd2jw
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?