在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxExL1ktNcE
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsY4NLoX3VX
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvA749oEDb
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ241sUUQC8u
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWLP81fOHV
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTrgt1qjBL
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwjM8vMryi
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbzLy9lEpg
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGMr4kmTsX
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPrayCGRqa
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkWQjXg8DT
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUpUD6Bt8c
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFJaTXtEP5
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVDsGmZWGl
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1TviWZZBk
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqIlKThneg
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuOwvjaxEe
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOyBSTxolT
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxpplozbGD
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7h4cRV5vb
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3A99W9vs4
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSkqn89YWT
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8xKltSlq7
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrn5XGs0MVv
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64C5aM28J8
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlrmUfIJmf
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhiW1DRyVO
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyz26KDtzkz
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYkssU2hwK
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAqu4C15Ta
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfuZDq7HPP
Annie：我真係好自卑599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBMKG7zkOB
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKCSk5E53u
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsNdfFdvVm
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwL5YqCC0e
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabnJgSFr1V
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRy3b9WMXhU
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Xbv3trd2I
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUodDvaMp34
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzadO2HBnr4
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdykniE3yy
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUWKCZkJkg
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzLue5IqxJ
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypymEn4jsK
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEqIWLfQwD
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqHPXvKl7n
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlp1c2sFILq
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1qZWhMxBs
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCJr4S8gQ1
我：我好想食豬扒飯。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzvE3gARIn
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJvFGAcJok
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeclwdbcuT
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaByMgzxkn
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbISs3mdnUi
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQ2ZJMDWqQ
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1asQBrPy4
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIlXIx3q5L
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnBPxfm9TN
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVu2xutMvcZ
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvutxHDvmEO
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVN9fqLhiH
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQLflubt0P
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujxbT9gyZ0
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIybk2KattN
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBIdccGmyM
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuegH3UyLfi
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpS4gxeukcG
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33lal465kt
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkiuBcv8r1
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdSDk3XxD1
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYG5PXEwnOn
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrTnktXLXx
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyde5G9rbe
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtfLDlGGys
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWY61fBLz3L
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbYS3fUKdN
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WTZ3gxF0T
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCC4dNMjwej
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UaNdy8R9b
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbR8peQ9We
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtVkzKYKkv
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjU0XlKACR
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgariPNLge5
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pqmKIO3l7
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KXCUV1wPI
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXKrjnNVHA
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmMTIVVq3n
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8fcDmd9zf
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBnKWMMRQ7
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7akzXH370
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqoIAnWHSi
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQgkD5k082
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3dsRsArBS
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIy31lKvTSO
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eWEfVYH9q
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1D3qJ6z2P
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBjlYcU8Cd
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPt2GeiAYhy
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdudBUSjBjl
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJON66EyXK
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6v3tiHknnt
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsmZveE5nC
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFC0XQsLBFo
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XldUZP5f3
我：我憑直覺亂估咋599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidMIY32GA5
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAe5ogZiG8I
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5oi79EPwG
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjud0Zm6mZN
我思索了一會，然後回覆。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnKrOzelIZ
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkC1MzgOUW6
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIxBiaMuK6
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJ9OPMnk9n
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTHSLirSeR
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiBdkyKdoJ
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmmktVgRX4
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OoBL5h7x5
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxmwpYMso4
我：你本身都係bi？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmmcL6TuFz
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXym7AHcoF
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3DQ49NLEZ
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLGUkS3G8R
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0m33UCsEub
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHztFlJDLgw
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcu5IEX0QZ0
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFDjaI5AiX
我：人工閪😏599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lmDTw3IOO
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NTZ0Jc0Me
Annie：😳😳599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7J0RH1cNO
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHijHCyxcFg
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiIoKVdnOW
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlBtoPd2jw
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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