在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。599Please respect copyright.PENANA7sP88YS9e6
599Please respect copyright.PENANAhNyCKKDwHs
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:599Please respect copyright.PENANArbwkgOHcUG
599Please respect copyright.PENANAmJjzDBDHqC
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?599Please respect copyright.PENANAIvWNIjXhuD
599Please respect copyright.PENANAnmgWOUkEWY
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAk5LYnzYR9Z
599Please respect copyright.PENANAveYJPoe2O0
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。599Please respect copyright.PENANACJrH1LMpoR
599Please respect copyright.PENANAYZMNDB2NZh
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。599Please respect copyright.PENANAGGNTRpUsXa
599Please respect copyright.PENANAM2ZZG5Wpca
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!599Please respect copyright.PENANARrVApoAv61
599Please respect copyright.PENANAHl9Ec7QtQ9
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。599Please respect copyright.PENANATuHx8x7EVB
599Please respect copyright.PENANAWm1iopZKCC
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。599Please respect copyright.PENANA7pBaot3vji
599Please respect copyright.PENANA2YAqFRr4Zn
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。599Please respect copyright.PENANAKtj8lp7L9Y
599Please respect copyright.PENANAJNhUhWq1eB
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。599Please respect copyright.PENANAzndlsVRdsE
599Please respect copyright.PENANAO04yzDBD5k
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。599Please respect copyright.PENANAIVOlHlPDs2
599Please respect copyright.PENANAykLehr9qp3
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANA1R1GTtzPFW
599Please respect copyright.PENANAYyPAN1ziph
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣599Please respect copyright.PENANADJZ0V9OIJ7
599Please respect copyright.PENANAWgT46KvNbi
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?599Please respect copyright.PENANAr5T2awkZvd
599Please respect copyright.PENANA3DrWk77RML
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我599Please respect copyright.PENANAPFBIWbE4Vc
Annie:我真係好自卑599Please respect copyright.PENANAUeIqXXuLi1
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有599Please respect copyright.PENANAxZYpbmZ69O
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。599Please respect copyright.PENANAyBCptRTi1O
599Please respect copyright.PENANAGNGwsCR6Nz
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。599Please respect copyright.PENANApoEnoAkB5Z
599Please respect copyright.PENANACb44Pvq8mS
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。599Please respect copyright.PENANA9htmuZAXWl
599Please respect copyright.PENANAtg5DLWQJji
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。599Please respect copyright.PENANAkxgbnBdS6M
599Please respect copyright.PENANAsHoxKqvc83
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。599Please respect copyright.PENANAmRLzQAJ1Jh
599Please respect copyright.PENANA9bfUJneKj0
或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。599Please respect copyright.PENANAVN261giPLZ
599Please respect copyright.PENANAQaS4B5KVCP
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?599Please respect copyright.PENANAxSKspGiHCJ
599Please respect copyright.PENANAqldPfHL4Sk
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。599Please respect copyright.PENANAgvrz5JeW3q
599Please respect copyright.PENANA4zosD6NZ2C
我:我好想食豬扒飯。599Please respect copyright.PENANAgTSa6YyAQn
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAny8pjyKktS
599Please respect copyright.PENANAxPVFdwbLI1
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!599Please respect copyright.PENANAZiAtZfBoiF
599Please respect copyright.PENANA9H30Wu277k
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。599Please respect copyright.PENANATfjUR0G2qb
599Please respect copyright.PENANAXUaddj0j7w
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANA6OBETrDp7V
599Please respect copyright.PENANA1JmY9kfrdC
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑599Please respect copyright.PENANAAK6SpnesrH
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒599Please respect copyright.PENANAtwX2Ct3VRy
599Please respect copyright.PENANAGANT6A9mFd
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。599Please respect copyright.PENANAa3QPDK80V3
599Please respect copyright.PENANAL7bo3AFLUc
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。599Please respect copyright.PENANAZuBigw7Mwb
599Please respect copyright.PENANAniPgUe2LgF
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。599Please respect copyright.PENANAYG4qrgsW8s
599Please respect copyright.PENANAbF6VdPi73C
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。599Please respect copyright.PENANAb6BR7cki2w
599Please respect copyright.PENANAQhzHAbl7o9
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。599Please respect copyright.PENANAE884Aa2Jmd
599Please respect copyright.PENANAICYF6c3Qyt
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。599Please respect copyright.PENANAgRzSxnSZKZ
599Please respect copyright.PENANAVKZ0tuQmlu
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?599Please respect copyright.PENANA4dACJpmPU6
599Please respect copyright.PENANAQQRRGMUOQt
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。599Please respect copyright.PENANAB3Lxs8YDcM
599Please respect copyright.PENANAjzRyj9Fjsl
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。599Please respect copyright.PENANAp0XJ4S2bW3
599Please respect copyright.PENANAe5t9JyzCS3
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。599Please respect copyright.PENANAmfegB43vIz
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺599Please respect copyright.PENANAk9m69OW3sb
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走599Please respect copyright.PENANAfcxTdZZ36t
599Please respect copyright.PENANAA1YLF3a7jU
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAgJgLGRswfT
599Please respect copyright.PENANAkWnccLYKyA
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大599Please respect copyright.PENANAZGCal8EZ8o
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身599Please respect copyright.PENANAhY8CgC5bCV
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J599Please respect copyright.PENANACZ0aYIdFr0
599Please respect copyright.PENANAuxIpF7TKi6
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAo7iPsBZQKo
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAuwAoXtkntd
599Please respect copyright.PENANAWw3jfIS1jN
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。599Please respect copyright.PENANAAvaHfxDe0G
599Please respect copyright.PENANAcJhkiELuMg
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。599Please respect copyright.PENANAKrIIlTmt0d
599Please respect copyright.PENANA9C88r06Ljs
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。599Please respect copyright.PENANAiPiJNt5xYw
599Please respect copyright.PENANAS20Q54PJVr
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?599Please respect copyright.PENANAktajusOxCp
599Please respect copyright.PENANA50vbTkvdZF
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAeqbOnJ6RGw
599Please respect copyright.PENANAWunuu1ubAE
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANAOB3HmcPP5e
599Please respect copyright.PENANAhx4ogeQTFu
我:我憑直覺亂估咋599Please respect copyright.PENANAEbZsTfg2IF
599Please respect copyright.PENANA05p3Z6Uexn
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?599Please respect copyright.PENANAWfplJ1glv7
599Please respect copyright.PENANAc5pdnOt3mX
我思索了一會,然後回覆。599Please respect copyright.PENANAmyeLywpkXn
599Please respect copyright.PENANAj7JvaABV1Q
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。599Please respect copyright.PENANAW7WYWEDm8m
599Please respect copyright.PENANA9qTPfk6hjL
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。599Please respect copyright.PENANA9mB6j795lB
599Please respect copyright.PENANA4OqsgKvXlF
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy599Please respect copyright.PENANAbwEVXHW1XA
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度599Please respect copyright.PENANAM2ewatSx06
599Please respect copyright.PENANABPG53Fsg1G
我:你本身都係bi?599Please respect copyright.PENANAVaxvIaYwh0
599Please respect copyright.PENANAkGEkzsODKa
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑599Please respect copyright.PENANA4rC5e5wXRI
599Please respect copyright.PENANA9OvyCdFNEe
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水599Please respect copyright.PENANA9mvg18QH64
599Please respect copyright.PENANAfgVWY2rCqo
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?599Please respect copyright.PENANAL2uHTw67E5
599Please respect copyright.PENANAasrffPo7nH
我:人工閪😏599Please respect copyright.PENANA4dWyLiTFYZ
599Please respect copyright.PENANAZUGz1MzM4Q
Annie:😳😳599Please respect copyright.PENANAJ0xIg3ZcOI
599Please respect copyright.PENANAZ7AB7xemj3
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊599Please respect copyright.PENANA40MqD6E0tA
599Please respect copyright.PENANAwomxBIvpX4
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?