在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzu2ShhHyWj
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPN7IdGl5xa
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKFLNtCrqG
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNiKscQYJJ
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKXB1pJ0Ut
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMD9dq4Om25
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlExUz3noMY
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02tAlyHOrq
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaJuRSDqvP
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhX3GBVP7Ut
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERaeCVwt3A
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAujxDfrUYm
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7tKA3o9a1
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsu6TrCVmxR
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MhWPZD0fK
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSev6Nky9np
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxT8NKR4CO
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGo1cRS5DUK
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlen6DrGZwJ
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkuKUp281U
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAh5mB8xcy
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2n6GsPTMS2
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9EBJRJuwD
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ym9VcWwu6
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWGFp93UMp
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoa1XpdjxE
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡworNi6Reg0
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAm1EmhBNT3
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Mj1fkwgbg
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgdZWnOELr
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuhOhH9RPc
Annie：我真係好自卑548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvCQ4ib9uE
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYsUGAwg9g
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GzjcT6TnN
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPt5o4XKUBS
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aSWWVzurI
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMrQKjcROg
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8t2pBGX0i
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9TQO8wdKM
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gqLynsB0k
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhV8epJOGB2
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkAIXnfXwM
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FK5OJwe8m
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgaMGfmQRM
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAlxUxX3SP
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtC9jygjZu6
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9Jnsw5FfE
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDBxtQbVET
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrIoCAoD4p
我：我好想食豬扒飯。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSVo2qXu9V
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvOJxXHrFt
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBjgKPrPwI
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlBpLdsAeN
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xWCOrrECI
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1agi741raa
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjV5jaGr6kJ
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcn4efvGkb
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuUY3XNold
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2KhDUJz4D
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqj3Gmyzc0R
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8XCyfXT3T
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkia5QV3JMM
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbehbirTX3
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGys9uvSEJG
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGIomjnw1M
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9afCCSornR
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡblPFSmayv4
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3WNRJVUbX
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8B833RZLO
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBr3hpoBRz
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiqYwDKnp7
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVODYLNIYdv
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMBlYa4xOW
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6XVXd8clf
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXF7xHbfAdi
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTxYe3mXhJ
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkYpnuZAeq
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkcgHBFASM
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYMhZW1ils
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2o8g8ADH4W
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfvY8iYGfA
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjrCqDHUVP
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1pWbCqD7R
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSL4rA4ubN
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwD5y1nydTO
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJ54ktEBUV
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dNlN5kXM6
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZx4ORSgKt
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSrNZDsmVD
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡig4Lvb8CTa
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaXGimLajL
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9JUYYXaQN
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAyp0WnJQM
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDMNHT0ykU
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4O9wI74GU
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKAWgxxvIL
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqDgL1RWeh
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTCvM3M6Wj
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tmdRC3ZgW
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliLwFGLP0i
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3J7lkYg9Q
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEJF6A6ZSJ
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlFtyE2Fnr
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdKaHqGCmn
我：我憑直覺亂估咋548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyri3Yurnlo
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsg8jQH5Ok
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgNacCfgNQ
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dkKKdCxkt
我思索了一會，然後回覆。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlPek9kj3x
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg02ORUjP6g
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULfFPch1n2
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9wlrcvAM1
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MOTBsYKnt
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE740AIFe48
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97y18S2apr
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeS3hAOdc4
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUTT9mG86O
我：你本身都係bi？548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ182y6lva7O
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDKlQzaB0m
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukCEYt1sTH
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5WFnMiAJx
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sSP7T33oM
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5FPvP6f2z
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3N4Bp4JcBv
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAW2iijX3MY
我：人工閪😏548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77MuiXTavx
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZNm32cjpI
Annie：😳😳548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNe9ZPbkYE
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByAfAjX6zv
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7O1e3fapfq
548Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMtToHr1ln
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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