在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sP88YS9e6
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNyCKKDwHs
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbwkgOHcUG
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJjzDBDHqC
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvWNIjXhuD
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmgWOUkEWY
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5LYnzYR9Z
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveYJPoe2O0
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJrH1LMpoR
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZMNDB2NZh
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGNTRpUsXa
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2ZZG5Wpca
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrVApoAv61
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHl9Ec7QtQ9
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuHx8x7EVB
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWm1iopZKCC
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pBaot3vji
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YAqFRr4Zn
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtj8lp7L9Y
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNhUhWq1eB
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzndlsVRdsE
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO04yzDBD5k
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVOlHlPDs2
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykLehr9qp3
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1R1GTtzPFW
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyPAN1ziph
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJZ0V9OIJ7
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgT46KvNbi
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5T2awkZvd
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DrWk77RML
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFBIWbE4Vc
Annie：我真係好自卑599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUeIqXXuLi1
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZYpbmZ69O
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBCptRTi1O
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNGwsCR6Nz
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpoEnoAkB5Z
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCb44Pvq8mS
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9htmuZAXWl
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtg5DLWQJji
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxgbnBdS6M
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHoxKqvc83
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRLzQAJ1Jh
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bfUJneKj0
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVN261giPLZ
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaS4B5KVCP
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSKspGiHCJ
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqldPfHL4Sk
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvrz5JeW3q
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zosD6NZ2C
我：我好想食豬扒飯。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTSa6YyAQn
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡny8pjyKktS
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPVFdwbLI1
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiAtZfBoiF
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9H30Wu277k
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfjUR0G2qb
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUaddj0j7w
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OBETrDp7V
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JmY9kfrdC
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAK6SpnesrH
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwX2Ct3VRy
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGANT6A9mFd
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3QPDK80V3
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7bo3AFLUc
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZuBigw7Mwb
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniPgUe2LgF
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYG4qrgsW8s
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbF6VdPi73C
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6BR7cki2w
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhzHAbl7o9
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE884Aa2Jmd
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICYF6c3Qyt
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRzSxnSZKZ
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKZ0tuQmlu
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dACJpmPU6
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQRRGMUOQt
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3Lxs8YDcM
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzRyj9Fjsl
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0XJ4S2bW3
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5t9JyzCS3
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfegB43vIz
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9m69OW3sb
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcxTdZZ36t
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1YLF3a7jU
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJgLGRswfT
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWnccLYKyA
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGCal8EZ8o
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhY8CgC5bCV
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZ0aYIdFr0
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxIpF7TKi6
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7iPsBZQKo
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwAoXtkntd
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWw3jfIS1jN
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvaHfxDe0G
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJhkiELuMg
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrIIlTmt0d
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9C88r06Ljs
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPiJNt5xYw
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS20Q54PJVr
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktajusOxCp
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50vbTkvdZF
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqbOnJ6RGw
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWunuu1ubAE
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOB3HmcPP5e
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhx4ogeQTFu
我：我憑直覺亂估咋599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbZsTfg2IF
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05p3Z6Uexn
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfplJ1glv7
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5pdnOt3mX
我思索了一會，然後回覆。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyeLywpkXn
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7JvaABV1Q
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7WYWEDm8m
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qTPfk6hjL
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mB6j795lB
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OqsgKvXlF
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwEVXHW1XA
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2ewatSx06
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPG53Fsg1G
我：你本身都係bi？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaxvIaYwh0
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGEkzsODKa
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rC5e5wXRI
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OvyCdFNEe
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mvg18QH64
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgVWY2rCqo
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2uHTw67E5
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasrffPo7nH
我：人工閪😏599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dWyLiTFYZ
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUGz1MzM4Q
Annie：😳😳599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0xIg3ZcOI
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7AB7xemj3
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40MqD6E0tA
599Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwomxBIvpX4
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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