在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。548Please respect copyright.PENANAzu2ShhHyWj
548Please respect copyright.PENANAPN7IdGl5xa
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:548Please respect copyright.PENANApKFLNtCrqG
548Please respect copyright.PENANAcNiKscQYJJ
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?548Please respect copyright.PENANAoKXB1pJ0Ut
548Please respect copyright.PENANAMD9dq4Om25
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊548Please respect copyright.PENANAlExUz3noMY
548Please respect copyright.PENANA02tAlyHOrq
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。548Please respect copyright.PENANAeaJuRSDqvP
548Please respect copyright.PENANAhX3GBVP7Ut
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。548Please respect copyright.PENANAERaeCVwt3A
548Please respect copyright.PENANAAujxDfrUYm
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!548Please respect copyright.PENANAU7tKA3o9a1
548Please respect copyright.PENANAsu6TrCVmxR
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。548Please respect copyright.PENANA7MhWPZD0fK
548Please respect copyright.PENANASev6Nky9np
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。548Please respect copyright.PENANArxT8NKR4CO
548Please respect copyright.PENANAGo1cRS5DUK
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。548Please respect copyright.PENANAlen6DrGZwJ
548Please respect copyright.PENANAWkuKUp281U
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。548Please respect copyright.PENANAdAh5mB8xcy
548Please respect copyright.PENANA2n6GsPTMS2
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。548Please respect copyright.PENANAt9EBJRJuwD
548Please respect copyright.PENANA3Ym9VcWwu6
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊548Please respect copyright.PENANAxWGFp93UMp
548Please respect copyright.PENANAAoa1XpdjxE
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣548Please respect copyright.PENANAworNi6Reg0
548Please respect copyright.PENANAAm1EmhBNT3
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?548Please respect copyright.PENANA6Mj1fkwgbg
548Please respect copyright.PENANAHgdZWnOELr
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我548Please respect copyright.PENANAKuhOhH9RPc
Annie:我真係好自卑548Please respect copyright.PENANALvCQ4ib9uE
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有548Please respect copyright.PENANAXYsUGAwg9g
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。548Please respect copyright.PENANA3GzjcT6TnN
548Please respect copyright.PENANAPt5o4XKUBS
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。548Please respect copyright.PENANA0aSWWVzurI
548Please respect copyright.PENANAUMrQKjcROg
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。548Please respect copyright.PENANAb8t2pBGX0i
548Please respect copyright.PENANAL9TQO8wdKM
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。548Please respect copyright.PENANA8gqLynsB0k
548Please respect copyright.PENANAhV8epJOGB2
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。548Please respect copyright.PENANACkAIXnfXwM
548Please respect copyright.PENANA9FK5OJwe8m
或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。548Please respect copyright.PENANAkgaMGfmQRM
548Please respect copyright.PENANATAlxUxX3SP
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?548Please respect copyright.PENANAtC9jygjZu6
548Please respect copyright.PENANAi9Jnsw5FfE
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。548Please respect copyright.PENANAIDBxtQbVET
548Please respect copyright.PENANAyrIoCAoD4p
我:我好想食豬扒飯。548Please respect copyright.PENANArSVo2qXu9V
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊548Please respect copyright.PENANAuvOJxXHrFt
548Please respect copyright.PENANAbBjgKPrPwI
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!548Please respect copyright.PENANAQlBpLdsAeN
548Please respect copyright.PENANA2xWCOrrECI
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。548Please respect copyright.PENANA1agi741raa
548Please respect copyright.PENANAjV5jaGr6kJ
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊548Please respect copyright.PENANAxcn4efvGkb
548Please respect copyright.PENANADuUY3XNold
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑548Please respect copyright.PENANAq2KhDUJz4D
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒548Please respect copyright.PENANAqj3Gmyzc0R
548Please respect copyright.PENANAQ8XCyfXT3T
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。548Please respect copyright.PENANAkia5QV3JMM
548Please respect copyright.PENANAdbehbirTX3
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。548Please respect copyright.PENANAGys9uvSEJG
548Please respect copyright.PENANAYGIomjnw1M
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。548Please respect copyright.PENANA9afCCSornR
548Please respect copyright.PENANAblPFSmayv4
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。548Please respect copyright.PENANAk3WNRJVUbX
548Please respect copyright.PENANAu8B833RZLO
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。548Please respect copyright.PENANAgBr3hpoBRz
548Please respect copyright.PENANAWiqYwDKnp7
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。548Please respect copyright.PENANAVODYLNIYdv
548Please respect copyright.PENANAJMBlYa4xOW
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?548Please respect copyright.PENANAh6XVXd8clf
548Please respect copyright.PENANAXF7xHbfAdi
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。548Please respect copyright.PENANAKTxYe3mXhJ
548Please respect copyright.PENANAQkYpnuZAeq
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。548Please respect copyright.PENANArkcgHBFASM
548Please respect copyright.PENANAeYMhZW1ils
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。548Please respect copyright.PENANA2o8g8ADH4W
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺548Please respect copyright.PENANAMfvY8iYGfA
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走548Please respect copyright.PENANALjrCqDHUVP
548Please respect copyright.PENANAh1pWbCqD7R
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊548Please respect copyright.PENANABSL4rA4ubN
548Please respect copyright.PENANAwD5y1nydTO
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大548Please respect copyright.PENANARJ54ktEBUV
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身548Please respect copyright.PENANA9dNlN5kXM6
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J548Please respect copyright.PENANAUZx4ORSgKt
548Please respect copyright.PENANAcSrNZDsmVD
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊548Please respect copyright.PENANAig4Lvb8CTa
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊548Please respect copyright.PENANALaXGimLajL
548Please respect copyright.PENANAh9JUYYXaQN
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。548Please respect copyright.PENANAhAyp0WnJQM
548Please respect copyright.PENANADDMNHT0ykU
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。548Please respect copyright.PENANAq4O9wI74GU
548Please respect copyright.PENANAFKAWgxxvIL
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。548Please respect copyright.PENANARqDgL1RWeh
548Please respect copyright.PENANAYTCvM3M6Wj
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?548Please respect copyright.PENANA8tmdRC3ZgW
548Please respect copyright.PENANAliLwFGLP0i
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊548Please respect copyright.PENANAB3J7lkYg9Q
548Please respect copyright.PENANATEJF6A6ZSJ
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊548Please respect copyright.PENANAKlFtyE2Fnr
548Please respect copyright.PENANAcdKaHqGCmn
我:我憑直覺亂估咋548Please respect copyright.PENANAyri3Yurnlo
548Please respect copyright.PENANALsg8jQH5Ok
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?548Please respect copyright.PENANAZgNacCfgNQ
548Please respect copyright.PENANA4dkKKdCxkt
我思索了一會,然後回覆。548Please respect copyright.PENANADlPek9kj3x
548Please respect copyright.PENANAg02ORUjP6g
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。548Please respect copyright.PENANAULfFPch1n2
548Please respect copyright.PENANAs9wlrcvAM1
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。548Please respect copyright.PENANA3MOTBsYKnt
548Please respect copyright.PENANAE740AIFe48
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy548Please respect copyright.PENANA97y18S2apr
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度548Please respect copyright.PENANASeS3hAOdc4
548Please respect copyright.PENANAAUTT9mG86O
我:你本身都係bi?548Please respect copyright.PENANA182y6lva7O
548Please respect copyright.PENANAvDKlQzaB0m
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑548Please respect copyright.PENANAukCEYt1sTH
548Please respect copyright.PENANAo5WFnMiAJx
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水548Please respect copyright.PENANA3sSP7T33oM
548Please respect copyright.PENANAx5FPvP6f2z
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?548Please respect copyright.PENANA3N4Bp4JcBv
548Please respect copyright.PENANAAW2iijX3MY
我:人工閪😏548Please respect copyright.PENANA77MuiXTavx
548Please respect copyright.PENANAdZNm32cjpI
Annie:😳😳548Please respect copyright.PENANAyNe9ZPbkYE
548Please respect copyright.PENANAByAfAjX6zv
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊548Please respect copyright.PENANA7O1e3fapfq
548Please respect copyright.PENANAzMtToHr1ln
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?