Since the big cry fest over four weeks ago, my life has pretty much gone back to its usual state. I hardly even remember it anymore. I continue to work, eat, sleep, and shut the world out as I usually would.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETeITeuMA6
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6d9KjUWw2
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xKbDOwrS3
There's only one minute problem; I've been avoiding David, and I'm sure as hell that he's noticed. How could he not notice that I haven't been available in over a month?654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdKvsnIfcK
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSI0RZ0saa
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Sy7y0kXuB
I let his calls ring out, and I don't call him back. I don't reply to his texts, or his WhatsApp messages. 654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBVrSokqQ1
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrTNZMkviR
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltDgRHSw3a
It's pathetic, really, but who can blame me? That night, I realised that I was beginning to feel something very strong for him, and I also realised that he had already begun to feel that way a long time ago.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEJvl7W0vN
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhymQYGWjlc
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4S957oyUr
as long as you stay here with me654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23zvBxkg9k
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBFBu9028B
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXx7vSxGlWd
That's what he said after the wedding. He meant more than what was happening in that moment. I could feel it, and that night at Poetic Justice, I could see the way he looked at me, as if I meant the world to him.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUaHuOiQpL
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOjjOSZlgC
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4prwXK7yQe
This has to stop.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbGbsTjZuz
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodZ1bEGayo
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuQbrVapqg
I sit on the edge of my bed and stretch, feeling that sharp pain in my pelvis again, and I yelp. It's been happening more frequently now, and it's getting worse. I really need to eat more.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxJTY3jIRo
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dJh3ncSr8
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrXX4FJ34K
I get up, not knowing what I'm going to do today — I have no work — so I go to make some coffee. I'm just about to pick up the jar that is now placed safely on my kitchen counter, rather than high up in a cupboard, when I hear knocking on the door. Somehow, I know that it's him; it's as if I can feel his energy through the door. Still, as I pull the door open, I didn't expect his expression to be so... worried. My first guess would've been that he was angry, but here stands before me, a man who looks like he is on the verge of shitting himself.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3C8j1ttj67
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3Q9uEr7ah
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UJdttbwwg
"Are you okay?"654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP44Uoxq3me
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9hzC4MB8l
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7c19Y8mXs
"Yeah," I say letting out a heavy sigh. It seems as if every time I think of him, he appears. "We need to talk."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMs2NFi4HT
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRWCOcJI3N
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PpAWdC5ie
I step aside to let him pass, and follow him to sit on one of the couches.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRhM41yo8V
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9lRUqR3Hb
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdq7OF2U0ZS
What the hell am I supposed to say? I don't love you? You're better of without me? It's not you, it's me? 654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07TFkr1wXy
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKdKzW9lEv
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj51AtuxL1k
Instead of going with any of those options, I choose the best thing that I can think of.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdwVtAs9Ld
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2YM7HKmsl
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oTamYEWMp
"I don't want to do this anymore," I say to him, sounding like Rihanna.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQHLNInoiv
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi12lnul76F
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3DieRADYb
I don't want to hurt you anymore. I can't give you what you need.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMj5FkYEgK
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzlCOYosWf
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0POXrQRjp
His eyebrows knot together in confusion. "Do what?"654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOs5wtYu2v
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYnFHcRk1v
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvVhqC6GXk
"Us," I say, but he still looks confused, so I decide to elaborate. "I can't give you what you want."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFd943sc0l3
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXnTYzcAj3
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YMpU2v6wk
He puts his hand on his forehead and rubs it, letting out a sigh.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgiRFR0K4h
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhIhlbWVX8
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvzoxCjNZA
"Yes, you can."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsM5hZPl2fv
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciKnm7Yddu
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK55uIyyJbs
"David—" I interrupt, because to be honest, I'm tired of people telling me what I can and can't do; but then he throws something at me that I didn't see coming.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRX21tHFq7Z
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AVHB1JxYh
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGNvE9IbIk
"You can, but you don't want to. You're holding on to the past. There's a difference."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUHQdLdX5r
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2YiWyc03O
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6nuJ7CNsd
All of this is said with a look of sympathy on his face.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpH2r1b0L0e
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdq7CJOeiB4
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsge7dUamia
To be honest, I can't tell him that he's lying, because he isn't. That's exactly what I'm doing; holding on to the past, to my dead lover who's ashes are kept in an urn under my bed, who I will never see again; but there's more to it. 654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvSO4jCIfj
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCBqUeW2F5
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadIVHJ1f4T
I'm afraid to love again. I'm afraid to lose again. If felt enough pain to last me an infinite amount of lifetimes and then some.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYRD9L37L7
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTI85QgMEws
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnx8x2nAmN
"You're holding on to the past," he says, repeating himself. "I get it. You love him, probably infinitely more than you could ever love me; but do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone? Would he have wanted that?"654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmuLt1DvnZ
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EUgoqQcIR
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEOJvGLxTl
I stop and think for a second. Would Andrew have wanted that?654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNKi6hYpKO
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSw7evI1BG7
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmic2kyK20
No, he wouldn't, because the last thing he said to me was "be happy, for me; live, for me." 654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoO2DVa59M
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiRyhvzbk2
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5rm108v9J
I'm a disappointment to my dead boyfriend, because I can't get over my dead boyfriend. This is so fucked up.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKK7pgMrb7
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1urujEANLK
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBGGA3fd0T
I don't even realise that I'm sobbing until I'm in David's arms, and my face is in his chest; he's rubbing circles into the small of my back, just like he did four weeks ago.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YdTSp0PXf
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyv5N36YNI
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFHk8BddVR
The sobs wrack my body so hard that my pelvis starts to hurt again, which causes me to groan.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14A5NyAfsc
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorQLNbuO36
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYKq9BKktc
"What's wrong?" 654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIaoq6oyML
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTIvPWEhLZe
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aqitEqQzN
I take a few deep breaths, so that I can calm down; each time my breath hitches, I feel that sharp pain again.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2N8BOCGhQy
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvMW4gMr0b
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxFlKStbhf
Once the sobs stop, leaving only tears flowing from my eyes, I speak.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGr7MTkP9Tz
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqcF3k33pF
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9oFVJqfJu
"My pelvis hurts. I feel pains whenever I don't eat enough."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlqZzQ5cRG
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCH2GXYgVV
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirYMhT7uyb
He gives me a disapproving look.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTeROWMTng
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRKHCelyK9
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsqukREtcR
"Are you anorexic?"654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2dY1VoASn
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0L4ZW8MWT
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSggY1fRfs
"Oh, god, no. I just only eat when I feel the urge to. The problem is that sometimes I feel the urge to eat once a day, or I feel hungry and I don't want to eat solid food, but there's no liquid food in the house. Other times, I stuff my face like a pig."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFs01g2jtLw
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMBkIEta1g
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8emaJoPyi
He looks at me like I'm the strangest creature on earth.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMNVXv3CM7
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWbz7KopD8
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7UTkC9M9J
"Okay," he says in a resigned tone.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqMZ30mLit
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0pdIu28Ega
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMQKC8YGx0
The tears are slowing down now, and I'm beginning to realise that David isn't going to just evaporate into thin air because I order him to.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBls4GYrmE
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAFRZPxq60
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5pssU9jk4
Almost as if he hears me, he smiles at me and says, "I'm not going anywhere, babe."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1T34aMcah
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRW8fnuFWT
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4lt3ygi0v
Not yet ready to accept that, I let out a sigh — then wince when my pelvis hurts again.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBNOJJPTFF
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXKDn1LQ4v
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUk1DUY5pk
I ignore it.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXG63Uzv0id
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzRHnOSOSF
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VHN5DMmbx
"I don't want to get hurt again."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47pjs012XF
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWTfNfquDq
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzINJW2pKjR
At this, he has nothing to say. What can he do? Promise me that he won't die? That would be a lie.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iN6bMansu
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdIr7VWiwB
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokb4J7XQ7x
"I won't let that happen, and I can't give you what you want. I can't give you love."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJMwIxDbwL
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SYF9wWhWO
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhf0JwW0HzS
He knows that he can't give me a legitimate reply to that. I've lost every important person in my life. He can't ask me to risk that happening again by becoming close to yet another person.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavPwS6a0Ye
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqqohMKSVF
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmT2yCjHstp
"This is why I don't have friends. I don't date. I live on my own. I just cannot endure any more pain, David. Love is a weakness; it it my weakness. It feels amazing when you're with the person, but at that funeral? You feel so distraught, so hurt, you're in so much pain, that you feel as if you're being tortured to the point of death, but you aren't dying; you're stuck on the threshold between life and death yourself.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8G7qnKwMQ
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4WpRdP6ox
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKbJ20DErE
"When I love someone, I do it with my whole heart. Whether it is my friend, family or lover, it consumes me. I can't help it; so when I lose that person, it is absolutely devastating. I can't do it again.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnhUjGr64q
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FLY5ssOkL
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Af6qWtBML
"So please leave, David, because these feelings that I have? I refuse to allow them to blossom into full blown love, and I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already inevitably have."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMx1sKv4op4
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbmrc03BZo
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rInKjhrIw
He gets up, and I can see the hurt in his eyes, but I can also see the understanding. It feels like it takes years for him to cross the room and make it to the door.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCligEs0MC
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8elET49Gl
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQrOfF7Z80
As he opens the door to leave, I know that I have done the right thing; I couldn't use him anymore.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFwRIs8xVb
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmHoMGCEcp
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQLZrkVoPZ
So why is it that I felt the urge to call him back?654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0690IJX85
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIBR3qYwQb
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTy91T1EfhK
***654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZ3sw0C8Mu
For the past two days, I've been doing everything to get David out of my mind; and I've been epically failing. Every time that it is most inconvenient for me, he just pops up into my head, out of nowhere.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQT1ysEinzt
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgc0fo1R3FQ
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuNmny2Eyq
For example, right now, I'm at a photo shoot for a man who wanted a few portraits of himself, and I can't see the subject through the viewfinder.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXh1SLspqR
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSqsXofQBr
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfoPbqYCZ8l
"Excuse me, can I get a glass of water? I'm parched."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UvlwMckdV
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRLZrWnEGY
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXllfxsxfP4
He smiles at me.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8PIipuMO8
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88xCyyj6ex
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWXLSiQ6zq
"Sure, hon."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofNWYYX7ip
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGN8wIO38TL
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnyerPdSks
He walks off, and like the masochist I am, I pull out my phone and read David's messages. So much for trying to forget him.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8pxE2aJxx0
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwD2lMFiqnL
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RMyz2iqrj
The very first ones:654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKsWJ0AIel
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDpqdAGwi2
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbGfbidc7I
Hey! I miss you.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xwPW0NrYd
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc78l0n1pa4
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUqfm3AKLk
How about you come over to my house and sit on my face? 👅💦😉654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJlhZ53ryz
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡas4MzG7AHG
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDw7G0j9EdS
Leah, I have a special present for you... 🍆💦654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6ebGDa9JZ
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIPSC9ABXu
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpqD62Dq2h
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiVONLqnPr
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46YonHz29Z
Then, when he realised that I wasn't reading or replying to my texts:654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyy5KiuK5An
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQt1CpWb0KE
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUyDIL7mRM
Hey babe, why aren't you answering my texts?654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwBeAmltur
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87cFHu9OSp
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZik6ZOjTz3
Are you okay?654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dqq83CQbh
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡookAFRxDto
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cOgeBYHLK
Did I do something to piss you off?654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAmglUNUgw
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciA5JlBgsU
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCl6QHIW9Iz
Then, he caught on to the real reason why I wasn't replying:654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghX4llXgRL
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8EQqAJiBQ
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkIgxQvEqx
If it's about the other night, please remember, it's okay to feel.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32yAH3xYsd
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzFoOc4yOv
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rxx64gO3N
Then, something that caught me completely off guard:654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRigs8GWym
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzRfbVWADB
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclHUGggO9Y
Leah, I've peen wanting to tell you this for a while; I wanted to tell you this at the poetry night, but I didn't know how. I love you.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwa0uaNuq1
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fn0IKh0nB
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3C6w33miJ
Suddenly, it feels as if all of the oxygen has been removed from the air; as if I'm dying from CO2 poisoning, and my heart is beating so hard and fast, it feels as if it is trying to jackhammer its way out of my chest.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNB3ReU8B4g
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKTTg0vhkd
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbqZSHz8cD
"No," I whisper, my voice cracking, and I let out a sob when I work out the date on which he sent the text. 654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Eptaa49Ie
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCtj6EI65X
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqygLHSZlpQ
Two weeks before he came to see me. 654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6xIRiHCLq
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDJQyLpd5v
654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMYsa11rYh
Of course, my fucking pelvis begins to act up again, but the pain is barely noticeable over the pain I feel at knowing the extent to which I've hurt him. I knew that he felt strongly about me, but love?654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4D1uHUD5w
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"Leah?" Trevor says, with the glass of water in his hand.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXIZYaB4Xq
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I wipe my face quickly.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfNkOhMo8i
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"It's okay. I'm fine."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2JKiJW81F
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"You don't look fine," he says, with concern on his face, handing me the water.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmE1jcNt1u
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"Don't worry about me. Lets get back to work."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7sAWoNzdv
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***654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9Sv3K8SFX
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I'm in David's driveway. I know I shouldn't be here after promising myself that I'll leave him alone, but I feel as if I have to say something to him after reading his confession, even though I know that seeing him in person again will probably end badly for both of us.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVuExLVH22
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Still, I called him to inform him that I wanted to talk, and he invited me over.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4Kuz1e0wy
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I can't get out of the car. I'm fucking nervous out of my mind. What the hell am I supposed to even say to him? 654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThCNtf6IvC
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I don't even realise how long I've been here, until I here knocking on my car window. I jump slightly, yelping in fright, before realising that it's only David. I open the car door slowly.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ092loPHHbf
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"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to spend the night in the car," he comments.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSylOUWdZX
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I close my eyes as I stand and lock my car.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlmdaYLiVg
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"You finally read my messages," he states.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbFkeR4rVh
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"Yes," I reply, realising that the ticks must have turned blue.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2b7YzwVI5
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I just look at him, and he looks back. Now that I'm looking for it, I can see it plain as day. He loves me. 654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpOEVFuiDU
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If I'm going to be honest, I should've seen this one coming. He always wants to cuddle, he always looks for an excuse to sleep in the same bed as me. Now that I think about it, most men who are trying to keep feelings out of a relationship would rather sleep on their couch.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5d3v4DnuPY
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He fucking stalked me, followed me to a water party.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunpgBMQfpu
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"When did you start having feelings for me?"654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JViqRyN5k
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He exhales loudly, and then looks at me as if he knows that I won't like the answer.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hTvrTVdxN
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"That night that we had dinner together, right here."654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOb6cZrJ0mN
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Wow. That was an actual date. A romantic date. I feel like a dumb fuck.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvrfpIHZZK
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He loves me, but I don't love him. Despite the fact that I feel drawn to him, the fact that I want him, not just sexually, I don't love him. Not yet.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LEtDqzb8r
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I'm attached; I swore that I wouldn't let this happen, but I've become emotionally attached. 654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNp3w7TNhVJ
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"Leah, are you really sure that you want to spend the rest of your life alone?" he asks, interrupting my train of thought. I can't even think about the weight of that question, because he continues.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQhbPm6xDI
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"You say that you're afraid of pain, but right now, you're hurting yourself. You aren't happy. I know it's nothing compared to the pain of losing someone, but at least when you let other people in, you'll have some light, people to laugh with and cry with. 654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDCIGAl5JE
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So I'm asking you again: do you want to spend the rest of your life alone?"654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHm2d0fbdC
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I look at him, and I can't say anything; I'm speechless. Everything he just said makes sense, and it hurts, because I know that either way, I'm screwed. 654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtauYdZWu1J
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If I say "no", he'll hold onto it the way that Jack should have held on to that lifeboat in Titanic, and if I say "yes", that may not be completely true, because I don't know anymore. I hate being alone, but I fear emotional pain. 654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPvhLv6IA5
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I just stand there, silent. Instead of trying to talk, I do the only thing that I can do in this moment; I hug him, and to my elation, he wholeheartedly returns the gesture.654Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Veghw5e35
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Happy Valentines Day! ❤️😘💋
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