Chapter twenty-eight
Matt
I'm walking up the stairs after coming from the gym. If anything, I'm too tired to feel anything about what happened with Novah. I should probably ask Jon for help. He's an expert at being nice to people.
"Hey, Matt," Alessia says as I'm walking up the stairs. I nod at her. When is she gonna see that I don't give a fuck about her? 431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUazxgeg2l
She keeps trying to force me to feel something for her. Annoying. I walk into my room and head for the shower.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvo7n9RgAP
I already talked to Ben. He obviously has some sort of weird thing for her. Good thing I broke his phone. 431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtizovw3oB
He got Novah's number even though I told her not to give it to him.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjraKdHETl
He had better not ask her again. I'll keep on breaking his shit until he learns his lesson. 431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorlhE02O08
What if someone asks her out? I'll break their fucking neck, that's what.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMieVxt2mh
She's not to be fucked with. By anyone. I hope I've made that clear. I turn off the water and hear knocking. I wrap a towel around my waist. I hope it's not Alessia.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtQBP4sLGg
I've already told her twice this week that I don't want her. Just because we had sex once or twice doesn't mean I want to be her boyfriend. The fuck? I open the door expecting it to be Alessia.
"I already told you...." I look down and see Novah looking guilty and innocent all at the same time. How does she manage to do that? 431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAssXt9hXf0
"What are you doing here? It's not safe."
"I came here to talk to you."431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CjSx0mMdt
"About what? Come." I pull her into my room. 431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuw2JdjXiQy
"Don't come here again." she rolls her eyes. It's so cute when she does that. I hold back a smile.
"Everything okay? Why'd you come here?" she's too fucking considerate. I know she came here because she thought my feelings were hurt. They are, but she doesn't need to know that. I sit down on my bed and she stands there looking all hurt and twiddling with her fingers. I just want to pull her over by her waist and kiss all over but she doesn't want me. If she touches me, that's it. Physical contact is and always will be the death of me.
"Are you okay?" she asks me. She doesn't need to know about my feelings. They're none of her concern.
"Yeah. Why are you here?"
"I came to check on you. I thought I might've hurt your feelings and I thought I saw you crying...."
"I wasn't fucking crying! For fuck's sake Novah! Can't you just leave me the hell alone?!" I shout.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CVjmLAqQ1
Shit. I didn't mean that!
Take it back. 431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfM6sf6cDT
Fuck, fuck, fuck.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkTUsRYXPd
She looks as if she's about to cry.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTSsly84OK
No. I can't deal with her tears.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqwMSMJThy
They break me. 431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hZsxSec4A
Why did I just yell at her? Why can't I just tell her that I want her to stay with me tonight? 431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOulh9Kp45
That she soothes my nightmares. Makes me feel emotions I didn't know I was capable of feeling. 431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeRKSDP02U
But for some reason, I find myself not able to say anything. Her standing there looking hurt and sad.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mhPRonUWQ
No, baby! I just want to tell her that she looks beautiful when she's smiling. That I never want to see those godforsaken tears. But instead, I say nothing. I'm standing there, angry. Angry with myself for fucking up everything. Angry that I'm not able to control my words. Angry that every single time I'm angry I take it out on Novah. Angry that I just made us worse. Us. I didn't know there was an us.
"I'm sorry I came here," she says her voice thick with tears. I did that. I did that to this beautiful woman. I made her smile disappear. She turns around and walks out the door. As soon as the door closes I hear her let out a sob. No!! I can't let her go out there like that! What the fuck is everyone gonna think? This precious girl walking out of my room crying. How could I do this to her? I want to give her the world but all I've done is destroy her world.
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