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I told her once—
"I'll be your confidence."
Because she had always been mine.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEDSlKu748
From the beginning.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1sQYRzaaF
She lit sparks in dull moments.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtGfK1azLg
Listened when I didn’t even know what I was saying.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXmhbAEntd
Talked like every word was music, and I was just lucky to hear it.
So when I saw an internship opportunity from Flipkart — open only for girls —28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHo6vvvke0
I didn’t hesitate.
I told her.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtHJKu9Ri4
Knowing full well she might hesitate.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3If2zhwW4
Because that’s me when it comes to her.
Never missing a chance to be her helping hand.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRK7m9hkcLE
Never wanting her to miss one step toward something better.
She thought about it.
And she said, “Okay.”
The day of the test arrived.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5MmCkns5g
We planned to meet in the library, afternoon.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bUwwfDVyB
In one of the quiet discussion rooms.
I reached early.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaXLiepeuR
Maybe because I was eager.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0gwVCus91
Maybe because I thought, somehow, today could fix the cracks.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWL76VKY61u
Or at least remind us of how we once were.
I had everything ready: the laptop open, test page preloaded, my heart strangely light.
When she arrived, I gave her my laptop for a while — to finish some English assignment.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6C14nEFnTO
And I took her laptop.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5ButlaxjW
Told her not to worry about it.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡse3aFww6W7
Told myself it would ease the guilt… the distance.
She smiled.
And it felt like I was doing the right thing.
But then… I did something I can never take back.
Not because I wanted to know who she was texting.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHB66qf0rP
Not out of jealousy.
But out of that quiet ache —28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWeThWYXb1
To know if I still existed in her world the way she lived in mine.
I opened her WhatsApp.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiCrlzj5yF
Typed my own name in the search bar.
What I read…28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbJt9McLWp
Was not what I was ready for.
At first, it made me smile.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwRGu0F3p6
Little mentions.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQ2Co4zNsQ
Small memories.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEPdaydeJU
Familiar tones.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKDosgRkFN
But then…28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uUeewvHXA
The words changed.
"I feel awkward around him."28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDP7eco9r8
"At last, I feel comfortable talking to someone… than talking to him"
It crushed me.
Like being stabbed by a voice I once trusted to save me.
I wanted to cry.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGySxkWRcd
But I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
I just stared ahead.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9eLoTPbaJ
Acted normal.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRYv75hdJy
Pretended the world hadn’t just collapsed under my feet.
Because that’s what I do best.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctiLwbHV6d
Break in silence.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwe74VgQFYR
Smile with scars.
The test began.
I gave it everything.
Some questions were easy.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOn6ZY5e1OE
Some weren’t.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8YsZ3ssQe
But she never saw the storm behind my calm.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vQUpim16g
She didn’t know the war I was fighting in my head as I smiled, as I helped, as I tried to just be a friend.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yg1XQ7fKw
But I had made a promise.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOIEjPOQgf
And no matter how broken I was, I never go back on a promise.
Later, as we packed up to leave…28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PYlANdukT
She noticed something on my laptop.
Her name.
Saved as Stranger.
She asked.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKpclRpYtt
But I didn’t answer.
Because how do you explain that someone once felt like home,28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOTwAV3JmA
and now they’re just…28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZc0S9UKmq
an address you can’t return to?
I still see her.
With Ren.
Laughing.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROJ59a3mfG
Talking freely.
No awkwardness.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJoqcN2cYy
No hesitation.
Everything I ever tried to be for her…28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCOmTZglai
he now is.
I never wanted more than friendship.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjUp9gVjcN
But somehow… even that was too much to ask for.
I buried everything — my feelings, thoughts, jealousy, guilt —28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5YLzYvLeA
over and over.
But no matter how many times I tried to bury it all…28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPyxh0aOxC
I always ended up the one grieving.
But it never seemed to be enough.
What changed?
Or maybe…28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIAtJPyMqG
nothing ever did.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzam2apRcmR
Maybe there was nothing from the start — to change at all.
Now the buses have changed their places again.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnCtG77bG2
Destiny playing chess with people’s lives.
Alice’s bus — no longer somewhere in between —28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIRpDkVd8o
now parked neatly alongside Ren’s.
While mine?
Still at the same spot since day one.
Watching.
Waiting.
Trying to understand the stories whispered by the evening wind.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiFXLt8P0M
And the answers it hides in plain sight.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95lsfFEx4e
At last,… all these are just words.
Words I wish she heard.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIfs3F8iXs
Words I wish I never said.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoxA3MJ51M
Words I’ll carry long after she forgets them.
Because…28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ464Fv4le2b
When I saw those messages, I couldn’t bear to read any further.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSmET1I3zl
When I sat across from her —28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx56gPALOEL
And she had no idea that she still trusted me,28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NAypzFBBE
While I was doing the very thing I swore, I’d never do.
I broke her trust.28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzkfudFkG0
I betrayed her.
And the worst part?
I still love her enough to hope…28Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfYKtSsNMs
She never finds out.
