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I told her once—
"I'll be your confidence."
Because she had always been mine.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJXRHq0aB2
From the beginning.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvTMv2T9XQ
She lit sparks in dull moments.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5upZqEgGY
Listened when I didn’t even know what I was saying.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Cop86Kbzp
Talked like every word was music, and I was just lucky to hear it.
So when I saw an internship opportunity from Flipkart — open only for girls —6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmU1aPdxeq
I didn’t hesitate.
I told her.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAUG7giLqa
Knowing full well she might hesitate.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4wZ6CPzhv
Because that’s me when it comes to her.
Never missing a chance to be her helping hand.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aUpn3tr58
Never wanting her to miss one step toward something better.
She thought about it.
And she said, “Okay.”
The day of the test arrived.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1doxHtlnU
We planned to meet in the library, afternoon.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkaYVIEWmr
In one of the quiet discussion rooms.
I reached early.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPkxfFd1II
Maybe because I was eager.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4vPErnFSr
Maybe because I thought, somehow, today could fix the cracks.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6eERjVcdo
Or at least remind us of how we once were.
I had everything ready: the laptop open, test page preloaded, my heart strangely light.
When she arrived, I gave her my laptop for a while — to finish some English assignment.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBJzFtM09O
And I took her laptop.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqMGGOfAXE
Told her not to worry about it.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8puD31Jol6
Told myself it would ease the guilt… the distance.
She smiled.
And it felt like I was doing the right thing.
But then… I did something I can never take back.
Not because I wanted to know who she was texting.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpup2nsig59
Not out of jealousy.
But out of that quiet ache —6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOajRGR1MXH
To know if I still existed in her world the way she lived in mine.
I opened her WhatsApp.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mqrqFSLEf
Typed my own name in the search bar.
What I read…6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6b3kZ4C6d
Was not what I was ready for.
At first, it made me smile.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiJY2atLUf
Little mentions.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOICCikg2sk
Small memories.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq30RaMrUMf
Familiar tones.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQA8GA3Z8Fs
But then…6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmng2sZloWf
The words changed.
"I feel awkward around him."6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbe7TaOblG5
"At last, I feel comfortable talking to someone… than talking to him"
It crushed me.
Like being stabbed by a voice I once trusted to save me.
I wanted to cry.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9l8TS3FCrs
But I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
I just stared ahead.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSOnhl5lpn
Acted normal.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gYaap1nrb
Pretended the world hadn’t just collapsed under my feet.
Because that’s what I do best.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv680oBIgAQ
Break in silence.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PfTyI4rDg
Smile with scars.
The test began.
I gave it everything.
Some questions were easy.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2oKJi8Q1T
Some weren’t.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71jEl4EDZc
But she never saw the storm behind my calm.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFO8hDvCOi
She didn’t know the war I was fighting in my head as I smiled, as I helped, as I tried to just be a friend.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3TzSnEGNB
But I had made a promise.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUG3DeeM1Q
And no matter how broken I was, I never go back on a promise.
Later, as we packed up to leave…6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4Z6OFJNFj
She noticed something on my laptop.
Her name.
Saved as Stranger.
She asked.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lg9iEj0B9
But I didn’t answer.
Because how do you explain that someone once felt like home,6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzh2dacFjYV
and now they’re just…6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rZOpnuf0b
an address you can’t return to?
I still see her.
With Ren.
Laughing.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl80Q8OgPne
Talking freely.
No awkwardness.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0ddnuFF9j
No hesitation.
Everything I ever tried to be for her…6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0C9tv2oRAS
he now is.
I never wanted more than friendship.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZqIpE7NL9
But somehow… even that was too much to ask for.
I buried everything — my feelings, thoughts, jealousy, guilt —6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGa0o0r9HUE
over and over.
But no matter how many times I tried to bury it all…6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5TsKXmGHw
I always ended up the one grieving.
But it never seemed to be enough.
What changed?
Or maybe…6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3GbQeRf03
nothing ever did.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTc9tK07uPl
Maybe there was nothing from the start — to change at all.
Now the buses have changed their places again.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMDURzLq0Q
Destiny playing chess with people’s lives.
Alice’s bus — no longer somewhere in between —6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXiVHYZhsN
now parked neatly alongside Ren’s.
While mine?
Still at the same spot since day one.
Watching.
Waiting.
Trying to understand the stories whispered by the evening wind.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjYNz1YkWj
And the answers it hides in plain sight.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWvUHejWIf
At last,… all these are just words.
Words I wish she heard.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQPmNtTv1b
Words I wish I never said.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rXklZk9Gh
Words I’ll carry long after she forgets them.
Because…6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodDWMxTc4c
When I saw those messages, I couldn’t bear to read any further.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslDZLqpJQf
When I sat across from her —6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCsLMPLXof
And she had no idea that she still trusted me,6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsEMZMoCUm
While I was doing the very thing I swore, I’d never do.
I broke her trust.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGNY4G6CXt
I betrayed her.
And the worst part?
I still love her enough to hope…6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgt06wgAlmi
She never finds out.
