x
You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqDLTotxeH
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHm7wdQf8n
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxouWRDKYG1
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcxQ4yhqvR
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcZQVDiYb9
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroMRLty9v5
Really talking.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEVKD755mX
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbz4QcuYBd
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfUjxee1ml
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Cvsv6nsPx
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIFAFxiQHG
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNggFkSJnc
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPHuojkOJR
Or31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFytLPJfivX
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETzbqiAjJ1
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiQkbQCHVi
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IIJAyewex
I typed.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQWB2KVF2n
Deleted.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3rzgqoVO9
Typed again.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOAOqL9vtb
Deleted.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5zTWOiK9u
Typed again.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpmpFHEnmW
Deleted.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6UUIe7YAW
Typed again.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimUgCL2SKj
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKb9GvYDdq
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYwvG3RLFE
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJH0W18y8v
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3mTDwA4tX
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uuE5krWwF
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOcSSWOgSS
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPIKv7wyt7
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWCcWralkz
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4ai5JlP8I
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmMz6CqIIQ
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AvYw1vqyQ
“I love pizza.”31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuMyxeFOBN
“I love that show.”31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTjGsvPEiI
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyss2KaXyQ
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5UpJXGYYk
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepUsC8ek9c
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2R6ve8xWvM
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHkl9in0WH
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsfqgFBFfi
Maybe love is giving without expecting.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVpkZBQjWO
Hoping without demanding.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioJelHTitd
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoAAiQAduM
then what does that make me?
A gambler?31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpVaAj6qYc
A poet with no ink?31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5WxmF4RvK
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkLJXJBGrh
It doesn’t ask for returns.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDB2JMP7lPJ
It just… is.
Like the moon.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEwcNLTzKh
Distant. Cold sometimes.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2rIltSZAs
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQv0F85qvh5
One that felt like surrender.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07EZyXQDie
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5gBLTCtg8
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4D0kV1Kmv
Not because I wanted to.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJUTDRrAKW
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡte3trnCAFt
let the poet in me die trying,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mNy01fvmg
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXW80kESBex
time won't change the answer,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0R5ysuFQ0T
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVSZmE5UHT
I want her to smile when she sees my name.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSm48ErQhsh
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfm41Co7UDG
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHyipfDmhB
But I can be someone good.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0iqF3u9xl
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6v0Uj64YAJ
"Sure, of course."31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8MewdesIS
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJm2PaeEVb
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImsD3V7aFu
but it still matters.
The night grew older.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGXDvIHm6z
The conversation faded into a simple:31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PbjtFHGS2
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMpt2MirtN
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohjvt2Dyrh
Ceiling fan humming.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iK6FNi3JG
Eyes open.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYU38Z5bk3q
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5gWZSHBK5
The silence turned into a lullaby.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dex9NPp9S
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXf6OVsuFuh
not even of love,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAUXlyNwKX
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5B5PFuELMz
No moon. No wind.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXKrqJwqDo
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeCrNsYCuz
“Do you think love makes you whole?31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ534SYZvjzQ
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTifEV5BafE
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Ebz63GrJc
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6poGoRc4K
A reason.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2eT7GOyRE
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveohjpciwQ
a feeling.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERjAbkw9Vq
A choice.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3KwTgjJAI
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWD8Pxcoph
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MK93m9zNY
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhELLUiGX5
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6asmjYVr8
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2rNuFFaGJ
peace.
