You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgTjKZ5jY2
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCrajqH1qy
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDx5JfZvS0V
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59ASxzrrmS
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa391Z9mD8V
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVR369rnoNK
Really talking.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbnCGBMdN7
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3g1JTTsv3S
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCF50GZadN
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWv0AHl2jqN
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEx24uZE9K
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iwT2aOvCu
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUtEfMeZQ4
Or197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILB0xFjm24
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaDBdIMNWT
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxrFTVyLmk
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZ9ouDYTw7
I typed.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgAoDYZBhd
Deleted.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHvihZqugc
Typed again.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44kEeOMHM6
Deleted.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4PhBlSbWS
Typed again.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEX6n5vFSI
Deleted.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WSdY9wGci
Typed again.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYn59L3sCx
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ57RhZjws0
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgz9yTOxsxO
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9s3i8GYEAu
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoREGqKn9tg
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1i9qVmg2ll
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWvrdvMLVS
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegdmhY1r12
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSq1exUuBfi
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLjFy8vaIk
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFuw3ZWU3d
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtY5PeO87Zm
“I love pizza.”197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLEgm6VeZV
“I love that show.”197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTvccghd8b
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBR8CGtVwU
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vbBduiaNh
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kbcYHBieH
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetAv5DmqLZ
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6lpJglH9Q
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YUaM76gPI
Maybe love is giving without expecting.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPnTgltzCz
Hoping without demanding.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡda3Y7328Wd
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yC9RETS56
then what does that make me?
A gambler?197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81UOmdIFU5
A poet with no ink?197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6z8gjK5Yi
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaHlFfrNGT
It doesn’t ask for returns.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxuKb7KVKA
It just… is.
Like the moon.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOWC6dHnFD
Distant. Cold sometimes.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxGBjS7rp1
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdEmfqWcaf
One that felt like surrender.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjfdrbYLJc
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpnCyHlqMH
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7T4pE8nXk
Not because I wanted to.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQVoojqrvX
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDsMqrIRy5
let the poet in me die trying,197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8x0Gie4My
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJycdU9bBjH
time won't change the answer,197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4StPRCUMRf
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUeFucIHoO
I want her to smile when she sees my name.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXE8KYDrzZh
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AKDvEieYd
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSH3xN7CfJC
But I can be someone good.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtajyXpFDN
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1lNz3vGpt
"Sure, of course."197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcz1sJZbyq
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSy77A4JqZ
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIhVtbKaHo
but it still matters.
The night grew older.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1zogVg2A7
The conversation faded into a simple:197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8o2JFpAMDL
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTc4BYM6nRP
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVTQIODTB2
Ceiling fan humming.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqw01gWW5rx
Eyes open.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMzT0O5KUt
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnqljJ4rV2
The silence turned into a lullaby.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GYcAxCqWM
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiQmexrypG
not even of love,197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJQ9EjYb2F
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdlRwCWy1K
No moon. No wind.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8fEAQvpiS
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUYmZo23Al
“Do you think love makes you whole?197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Vm8G2fCcp
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfc6JYUg3St
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YVgTDEMxL
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyDYqrhxT4
A reason.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVnjTH8NXd
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2X0WiMlT6
a feeling.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpkti84QnA
A choice.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomID4su5QB
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwbWWxbRPF
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEQJxua89R
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZKpmTcbYl
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Cg33gqC0T
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEnpkZ627q
peace.
