x
You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMumhHmTWSW
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqGHDk2uZU
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRWnzpnKaK
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ffVJSdsUR
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbi88x9Stj
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEzdrA7S4S
Really talking.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4TjiaV0dM
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8aLgp7CXkg
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMVmeD80KW
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzknZfuW3F2
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41MMUW7xVJ
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98ThxYCTMY
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkC03I7GXot
Or188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswrrKYhejX
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2EM9XCDy1
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIAgI1Vjki
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBksTojFaBV
I typed.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7kWsHGIGL
Deleted.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMSdWM3RBU
Typed again.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWsA1dHnts
Deleted.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDo3OVXP4ng
Typed again.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3F41IndxY
Deleted.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNDLuvYdvM
Typed again.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRImjQvAgv
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIgF1XNeKh
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZL8RaucWf0
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaXDD0kAQq
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6n06v7h4Y
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDy0UW0CCgb
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZOrFnv1rK
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJ3UXd6Lis
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJdTDvVNFS
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhc1BBhExTG
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mbsD5AxHs
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiiuSabM9Z
“I love pizza.”188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oXRwUYL3d
“I love that show.”188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQiGw590Ub
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu70ZVn6r6L
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVIqJk3uoh
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡae3WvyPSwq
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfOI06LXEq
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIs3bXWmlA
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmTIASaEkH
Maybe love is giving without expecting.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqx6CuQdI9R
Hoping without demanding.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZixEeXepLy
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVIfb4NuSf
then what does that make me?
A gambler?188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHWrR8iqlx
A poet with no ink?188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9ZWLtst6C
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRckzbOU6Su
It doesn’t ask for returns.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVo3WVFYUZ9
It just… is.
Like the moon.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2kotcLKViq
Distant. Cold sometimes.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrCiB5qYAH
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNL1Bzw3BKy
One that felt like surrender.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FCka22Sml
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeudsa7Dej6
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQ9vxUI4It
Not because I wanted to.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0TCd29G79
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlDWqjVyV9
let the poet in me die trying,188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirSJ3h1cF1
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6uFftknTo
time won't change the answer,188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IQ70cl6UZ
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jl0MP80mH
I want her to smile when she sees my name.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgIgXW2NvI
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvGqLNfBw2
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoovYOpsk0
But I can be someone good.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFfaIVtsWP
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACHbKgCAbe
"Sure, of course."188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTIMR7PcHzo
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyjxFsrL8j
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGk1AoU8Fey
but it still matters.
The night grew older.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAJE1QhzBg
The conversation faded into a simple:188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fJTyeMXaD
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl25YoSE70B
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVYqVDLTos
Ceiling fan humming.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVhGrWjmDu
Eyes open.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXUqUf6WGr
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJVgHwUrMH
The silence turned into a lullaby.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUpIEA1kdj
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXvOwOffK8
not even of love,188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VodDjvqZK
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9HXIbfaH3
No moon. No wind.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sVnJ1wn3h
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTGvP8aVVv
“Do you think love makes you whole?188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1GXyNrFbF
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU87EzFLcWx
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5kgrnpLDl
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDeuoC2dxD
A reason.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqbjEuocra
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pwqx9ljYE
a feeling.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7eykDYRyf
A choice.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWtUjzkg6r
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2AfXonqHX
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOsjaXUH8U
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xbMVkTkjS
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6l0DToflDW
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...188Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZDlvP5uYs
peace.
