x
You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4uZ8PkvZ0
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7102i8N9W
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfL72Uk2jN
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXvaIDc60l
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfkIA11sFb
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YPBKph0Ya
Really talking.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7M33Onsq3U
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPogFKT4lsA
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCHfukOzMj
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNS4ldUco6c
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77H9Pl3QTM
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlobKDmwfA
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwo8OkgP5jH
Or29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLXGRAlxPO
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBS3lXaXXnk
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeiQ9AnjLJf
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbg2hTr6VNA
I typed.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51kgUVMrH6
Deleted.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJEBiwyItG
Typed again.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF92VwqAHFf
Deleted.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnJcb764lJ
Typed again.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7yBR9twFk
Deleted.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5Ix6PaEPG
Typed again.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmw2ma985yb
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCzUgsYpce
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BcUPZxpKf
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmbM6IpZ38
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8PIq6gNoc
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mALn2A8iv
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5b94nfnq4
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdOWqa7OHQ
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbn7dTAWkje
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PSZcaRB5i
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1UjYlPyrf
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4sCsW9D0l
“I love pizza.”29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR92g8XC6Cm
“I love that show.”29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTv3V0LiSy
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoeF8HmTMx
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuawPW3UCBh
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUP4DBzEHiV
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYxdezqPNL
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5wM54h0W4
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0psWL7cyG
Maybe love is giving without expecting.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SAWaUL3pZ
Hoping without demanding.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmxPzi74iw
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2slg39YB9i
then what does that make me?
A gambler?29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkWEOVS3Yt
A poet with no ink?29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpa22Y0XMg
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vAu4rPoxq
It doesn’t ask for returns.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGlHvfWHWu
It just… is.
Like the moon.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWcSNrk5wC
Distant. Cold sometimes.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgan7GPuYC
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9G093EfAAX
One that felt like surrender.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnpZ0GPI6D
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CSi7HyKO8
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxLQm2fZuG
Not because I wanted to.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWC56IloxXA
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2eGIX92gz
let the poet in me die trying,29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8KtxcsQln
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiEVjaTD4L
time won't change the answer,29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1O4XWKChZL
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqJGCqI4b8
I want her to smile when she sees my name.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKCBmsewLf
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDF2QYT7S5w
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdG5amqi1U
But I can be someone good.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hZU53EQ2J
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKvKFb9sN1
"Sure, of course."29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIBREK8Wja
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCwgYU8oaX
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrTNoprt8A
but it still matters.
The night grew older.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCY8KYGckW
The conversation faded into a simple:29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3dMwqeNcH
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJL0ZZ6kl6
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt67AJEtycU
Ceiling fan humming.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmgWyBxeoH
Eyes open.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DICHY54QJ
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAC8GUugEEX
The silence turned into a lullaby.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZfo1s2LXQ
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zgGm3pVsl
not even of love,29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFvRkPvULn
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVbYZlkESM
No moon. No wind.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jA71n7e3I
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkGMY9trXa
“Do you think love makes you whole?29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcvRRcDb3X
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyXNFnWSHh
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIOikaExiT
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3aTs41VHY
A reason.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKd3ncPmW9O
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmQAJHZ6I7
a feeling.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboXnOgiVOD
A choice.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhM4xO0t6sF
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkVkv2DIx6
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5Y46wPJBK
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CUugjmXOR
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzoVRxTI0O
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLS55yRRhAW
peace.
