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Writer King Cosmic
  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
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King Cosmic
Jan 12, 2018
8 Mins Read
No Plagiarism!zeBBiAHiEn23fXraYnBVposted on PENANA

MELANCHOLY; It's a word that can pretty much describe anything. From depression to sorrow to gloominess. I'm pretty much facing all of the above. I don't want to feel this way. It just...kinda happens. I'm facing so much in my life but the biggest thing i'm facing is an eating disorder. Now, I know that it seems crazy for a guy like me to be facing such an eating disorder. I'm not saying that eating disorders like anorexia is mainly aimed at for girls but you just don't see that many guys facing it. Most guys my age want to bulk up and get bigger. Not me. I want to lose weight and get skinnier. The reason for that is terribly complicated. Despite having best friends in middle school, I was also teased for my appearance. People teased me because of how I looked. They called me... UGLY. Not only that but all sorts of names like:copyright protection33PENANABxCEFUvOsP

FA**Tcopyright protection33PENANAt144DmElEi

PANSYcopyright protection33PENANAIHmXEO7DbI

FRUITcopyright protection33PENANAyMgbqV6WJz

COWcopyright protection33PENANALcAQgecVzR

PIGcopyright protection33PENANAdizAfeonRz

Things like that. In middle school, I wouldn't say I was hugely overweight but I DID put on a couple pounds here and there and I didn't even care because I loved food. I didn't eat because I was being bullied. I ate because I loved food. But ever since the bullying wouldn't stop, I decided to stop eating altogether. At first I just ate healthy food but then I felt like I wasn't getting skinnier any faster so I decided to quit eating altogether and it worked because in no time, I lost a lot of weight. Now, instead of being severely overweight, i'm severely underweight. My mom took me to the doctor and the doctor told me that I need to start eating. Ever since that doctor visit, my mom has been forcing food down my throat. She still kinda bugs me about eating but not as much anymore ever since I lied and told her that I eat at school.copyright protection33PENANA6qlnBMiIJ2

Now instead of being the ugly fat cow, i'm the ugly fat skinny dude at school. I'm literately so skinny that you can now see my bones when I take my clothes off. That's why during gym, I always try to wear a long sleeve shirt or a hoodie to cover up my hideous body. Nobody really says anything then but I still feel like people talk about me behind my back. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don't see a cute boy with jet black hair, green eyes and a fit body. Instead, I see a boy with a ridiculously skinny body and pale skin tone. There are plenty of other stuff i'm going through but it hurts to talk about them to myself or to anybody.copyright protection33PENANAhufSlw6yrG

I thought that today was going to be like any other day until my mom came home and told me she lost her job.copyright protection33PENANAqFYZfddDB4

"I don't know what to do, Ronnie. I don't have enough money to go to the store and buy food and you NEED to eat." My mom told me as she sat down at the dining room table in our apartment.copyright protection33PENANAcIvy67loP4

"Can't you just...get another job?" I said to her as I sat next to her and grabbed her hand to hold it.copyright protection33PENANAr6zHYUd5sF

"I can but it'll take awhile. I'm not even sure how i'm going to pay the bills for this month." She sighed.copyright protection33PENANALSkJSzX5cy

I watched my mom's face. She looks more tired than usual. I can see wrinkles and bags under her eyes and my mom is only thirty-five.copyright protection33PENANAaphFYnMkMC

"I doubt your father would want to give up any money for food and bills. You know he spends all his money on drinking and playing poker."copyright protection33PENANAoeIYVGT8Ml

I nodded then squeezed my mom's hand tightly. "We'll get through this. I still eat at school. If you want, I can bring back some extra food for you to eat?" I suggested.copyright protection33PENANAOxe8g7HdcU

My mom shook her head. "Don't worry about me. I need to lose a little bit of weight anyways."copyright protection33PENANAMnk43jrQDe

I blinked my eyes in horror. I really didn't want my mom to stop eating so she can lose weight. It's bad enough that i'm going through this HIDEOUS disorder. I don't want anybody else to go through this like I am.copyright protection33PENANAs2sa0nRUwD

"I'll find a way to get you some food." I assured her.copyright protection33PENANAfkautrBaEO

Even if it means I steal, I thought.copyright protection33PENANA5rcqvfJX5m

 "I'm going out." I said, standing up.copyright protection33PENANAbxpEIq1Aky

"Where are you going?" Mom asked.copyright protection33PENANAdATo5mQGxu

"Just out to clear my head. I'll be back later. Take care." I said then kissed my mom's forehead.copyright protection33PENANAvCWH3rXMp2

I grabbed my black jacket from my room and left the apartment. I wasn't sure where i'm going but I just need to GET OUT. I started to walk and I didn't stop walking till I reached the food market. I walked in and looked around at the thousands of boxes of food. I needed something that was small but could fill my mom's belly up for the night. I also need something that doesn't require you to put on a plate or bowl. Most of the dishes in our house aren't clean. My mom has been stressing to my dad that he needs to help clean the house since it's difficult for her to do it every single day with work and all.copyright protection33PENANA9AAyejYgTj

That's when I saw the tv dinner trays. They were food that already came in a plastic black tray that you can just pop into the microwave. Plus, the box is small enough to sneak under my jacket. I'm not really a fan of stealing but this is important. I can't have my mom starving. And if I get caught, I just hope that whoever the manager is will understand. Sure, stealing is stealing but hopefully he'll understand the situation i'm in.copyright protection33PENANAP7TIwY4mFB

I looked around me to make sure nobody is watching then I looked towards the ceiling to make sure there weren't any cameras around before I started to grab a few boxes of microwavable dinner. I grabbed one that was mashed potatoes and steak, another that had meatballs and ect. I would say I grabbed about five boxes that were able to fit under my jacket. Though, they poked out and made me look fat. That's when I had to remind myself that this is reality and that i'm not actually fat. I just have dinner under my jacket that is making me look fat.copyright protection33PENANARbeNShfQ4E

"I'm not fat...It's just dinner boxes. Just...dinner boxes." I took a couple deep breaths then started to make my way towards the front.copyright protection33PENANASdftMuMLKG

I tried not to look around because people will know something is up if you look suspicious. I walked and walked and didn't stop walking till I walked through the doors of the store. I let out a sigh of relief as I didn't set of the alarm. I smiled to myself and started to make my way towards home. When I got there, I called out to my mom.copyright protection33PENANA4zOXikVmHB

"Mom! I'm home!" I said as I walked over to the dining room table and set the boxes down.copyright protection33PENANAYyMdmFvCvz

"Mom!" I called out again. That's when my dad emerged from the darkness. It's dark because it's already eight pm.copyright protection33PENANAgoNwRz0EkL

"Hey, kiddo. How was school today?" He asked as he approached me. I slowly backed up.copyright protection33PENANAlol9mDui0b

"What is to you?" I asked, suspiciously.copyright protection33PENANATZJGc6lIIQ

"I just want to know how my baby boy is doing in school." He replied.copyright protection33PENANAiZf5v6FwL0

"W-where's mom?" I asked.copyright protection33PENANAh7pCgLgK4g

"She's asleep right now." Dad said as he continued to walk up to me, slowly.copyright protection33PENANAVYfFEsL0au

I felt myself backing all the way up to a nearby wall.copyright protection33PENANARst6yZdevY

"I...I have homework to do." I quickly said then tried to move around my dad when he grabbed my arm and pulled me to the ground.copyright protection33PENANAeN6DqmpG7u

"Ah!" I shouted.copyright protection33PENANAX3scI6Fu6Q

"Shh. Shh. Don't need to wake your mother." He placed his hand on my mouth.copyright protection33PENANAZXjt3Rsg5Y

I struggled to get out of his grasp and struggled to shout through his hand.copyright protection33PENANAfkLlYcIoSQ

"Shh. Promise me you'll be quiet for daddy?"copyright protection33PENANASPTk2CrI7x

I stared at my dad and nodded.copyright protection33PENANAy6vRAzI3QO

"Good. Now get up." He said as he took his hand from my mouth and pulled me up to my feet.copyright protection33PENANA169Ns8ZawS

Dad dragged me all the way to my room and pushed me inside. He walked in and closed the door behind him then locked it.copyright protection33PENANA0oIUJKwasD

"D-dad...please...not now." I pleaded.copyright protection33PENANAI1KeSkNBoE

"Why? You don't want to be with your dear old dad?" He asked as he approached me and pushed me onto my bed.copyright protection33PENANAqqKzdcHdne

I tried to get up but he held my body down and got ontop of me.copyright protection33PENANA6oCOimyPw1

"STOP!" I shouted. He slapped me.copyright protection33PENANAtf2dtVyhwX

"You promised to be quiet."copyright protection33PENANAVWnGwATeOh

I whimpered as I stared up at him.copyright protection33PENANAsUF5IYshNY

"Just be quiet. Can you do that for me please?"copyright protection33PENANAjgemuHh3ZO

"B-but..."copyright protection33PENANA0UKnBhYuwM

"Shh." He said then roughly pressed his lips against mine.copyright protection33PENANAMZHr5qpxHd

I started to smell the scent of alcohol and when he forced his tongue in my mouth, I started to taste the slimy taste of alcohol and cigars. Eventually, my dad pulled away. I really wanted to rinse my mouth out with soap now.copyright protection33PENANAw0tKnXsE1r

"Shh. Just stay quiet. It'll be rude to wake your mother up right?" He said as he started to zip down my jacket.copyright protection33PENANAs1mdoXvns1

Honestly, I didn't want to wake my mom up because she deserved the rest after what happened with her at work. But I needed to find a way to escape my dad. Either to distract him or something.copyright protection33PENANA9e0RG6h6DZ

"D-don't you need something? Like...I dunno...A condom or something?"copyright protection33PENANAjaZMUmKn1L

My dad stopped undressing me and gave what I said some thought. "You're right. I'll be right back. You stay here okay?" He said as he got off me and left my room. I didn't waste no time with redressing myself and escaping. I decided that escaping out my window will be quieter and faster. I opened up my window and snuck out. I kept my hands on the window sill till I let myself drop on the stairs. Then, I took off running. I ran and ran and didn't stop running till I reached the town. I needed a place to stay and stay hidden but where?copyright protection33PENANAOtNbHc9czB

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