I began to spin around as the sight of the water made my stomach churn. "Do whatever you want to me, just please don't do it here."
Courtney gave a belittling laugh that matched a derisive expression. "What are you, a fucking cat? Is the dirty little bitch afraid of water?"
As I tried to head for the door that lead back to the gym, one of her friends blocked my path and pushed back in between the three of them. I was circled, surrounded by the queen and her slaves with nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. It was just me and them, I had no Nathan or anything else to protect me from her or her friends. There was no shield to take the brunt of the pain, there hadn't been a single thing I could use to protect myself.
A strong shove into the wall was the precursor to a fist that connected with my mouth, sending waves of disorientation and loud ringing in my ears. In a star-filled daze, I was unable to protect myself as her punches continued to connect and send me further and further in. One after another rained down on me, leaving me with only the sight of Courtney and her laughing friends. Then, out of nowhere, she stopped and stood up for what felt like no reason at all.
One by one, my senses came back to me with some form of clarity as Courtney still glared at me with an intent I hadn't quite felt before.
"I said I was going to make your life hell." Courtney shook her fist, closing the distance once again. "Or did you think I was just joking?"
As I dizzily stood up, I could already feel the blood puddling in and running out of my mouth. Her words had only made me shake my head in a disbelief, of sorts. Most girls, and even me a week ago, would have considered this situation hell. They would've been beaten and bruised, likely crying in pain while they begged for it to stop. That was normal, and I probably would have been the same way.
Except for the fact I was already in hell, and I had been for the better part of two days. When every breath I took made me feel like I was being choked, this had seemed so small. When every step I took made me feel like I was being stabbed, this had seemed so trivial. This hell had already been so much darker than the one she was trying to lead me into, so much more evil in every way.
"You have something to say?" her voice grew in sharpness.
My eyes met her fancy shoes as I eyed the floor. "I don't think you could make my life any worse right now, Courtney. I really don't."
As the last word left the tip of my tongue, my head was ripped back by my hair and a harsh breath collided with my ear before I was thrown to the ground. Slammed down onto my shoulder, two pair of hands took the collar and sleeves of my shirt and began to pull me away from the wall. Slowly, the sound of the crashing water became more and more prevalent - and so had my inability to take in a clean breath.
"I really think the dirty bitch needs a bath." Courtney sneered.
I could feel my eyes shoot wide open as my upper body was pinned down by Courtney while my skirt was being pulled off by her friends. Even as I writhed, trying to fight myself free, the image before me continued to flicker between Devin and Courtney. Back and forth, it slowly became harder and harder to tell the difference between them. That was, until my shirt was pulled over my eyes.
Roughly tugged up by her friends, I found myself stripped down to my underwear and Courtney glaring at me with one of the dirtiest looks I had ever seen on a human. A short-lived curling of her lips passed, replaced with knitted brows as she pulled me away from her friends and to the ledge of the pool I had been so desperately trying to avoid. There I stood, trembling like I was at the edge of Kalaupapa.
"Please don't. . .Pl-"
"Gross." A pair of hands hit my back and the next thing I knew, I was falling face first into the water
Smashing into the water was the last thing I remembered before everything went black, so completely black. Then the real world came thundering back as I was being pulled out of the water by my hair, gasping like it was the last breath I was ever going to take. I could only hear distant voices, faint fighting as I continued to cough up water and whatever else had decided to come up with it.
"Didn. . ."
"L. . .leave her." I heard another voice as my vision continued to go in and out of focus. ". . .Snitch."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _
"Lynn!"
I shot up and backwards with wide eyes as my ears caught his voice. Even in the faintly lit room, I could still see his platinum-colored hair piercing through the dark and catching my eyes. It was without any level thought, however, that I found myself launching forward at him and colliding with his chest. Seconds passed before I could feel his arms come around my back - the bare skin of my back.
Damp and freezing, my body began to shiver as it met his warmth and the absorbent material of his t-shirt. Maybe it was because he was the only thing I recognized, or maybe it was because he was the only living thing around, but I felt shelter. I felt some amount of safety, however small, come over me as his palm fell to the small of my back. A feeling of safety that I had so desperately needed.
"Lynn, what happened? Where are your clothes?" Nathan turned within my grip, beginning to pull away.
"D-Don't go." the words spilled free as my hands united around his back.
It was as though I no longer had control over myself, the words I chose, or the actions I made. I was kicked out from my body and forced to watch as something, someone else made my choices and did things without my consent. Another girl was saying things that I never would have said, another girl was crying into his chest, and another girl was holding him in place while I was forced to watch myself do things I never would've done.
More and more of my weight fell into Nathan as my body seemed to give in to the weight on my shoulders. My strength seemed to vanish and the muscle holding me up began to tear apart within his arms, melting to the point of being limp. In the silence, between Nathan and myself, I had fallen into a moment of cold darkness. I stared into space and saw nothing, nothing but myself and the darkness that awaited me.
". . .Please." my mouth continued to move on it's own as my fingers tore into cloth. "Don't leave me alone."
"You're freezing." Nathan virtually whispered before the cloth I was holding onto was ripped away. Then warmth hit my back, the same warmth his chest had provided. "Let's go to my truck. You need to warm up."
Before I could say no or reject him, he had already stood up and made quick work of my smaller frame as he brought me to my feet. I could only watch as he treated me like a child, pulling my arms through the holes of the long flannel shirt he had draped over me moments earlier. His head went from looking right at me to looking away and then coming back as he tried to button it up.
Nathan pulled out his phone and turned on the flashlight, making a full three-sixty as he seemed to search for what was likely my own clothes, but the only thing he found that was related to me was my phone ten or so feet away. Within two large strides, he vanished into the darkness and then made another full circle before he came back into my vision. He walked passed me, towards the door that led to the outside parking lot.
Honestly, a part of me wanted to stay in that room. Even if it was torture, I knew that nothing in it could hurt me. If I passed through those doors, what else would come? More torture, more pain, and more memories. If I stayed where I was, even if it was only temporary, nothing could hurt me - that was what I wanted to think, at least.
"Sorry." I found Nathan in front of me, his fingers taking hold of my forearm. "I got held up by a couple guys on the team and when I came, you weren't there. . .I don't know, something just didn't feel right."
As I stood across from Nathan, draped in his shirt, it all started coming back. Being punched, my clothes being ripped off, and up to being pushed in the water. After that, it was like my mind had gone blank, like I passed out or fainted as soon as I hit the water. Vague feelings of my hair being pulled came and distant voices were the last few things I could wring out, but what happened in the water had disappeared.
I took a lone step forward and fell into his chest. "It hurts. . ."
"What does?"
"Everything." I answered. "Grace is gone, my parents hate me, Devin. . .I can't take it anymore."
Nathan's right hand carefully tried to find a place for itself as it hit the bend of my stomach, just above my waist. It was as though he was able to tell that I was close to breaking. I was seriously about to break, shatter like glass. That night, Devin tried his best to break me, but what pushed me to the edge was what just happened. I was at the edge, teetering between living for the woman I loved and throwing myself off to escape this hell.
Everything that had ever made me happy, everything that I ever loved was disappearing one by one. My dad rarely even looked at me and Grace was lying in a hospital bed. Whatever was leftover had been taken by Devin. I just wanted to close my eyes and shut them tight until it all blew over, to close my eyes and open them back up to see Grace, to see normalcy. That was all I wanted.
Buried in his chest, the tears wanted to fall, but there was nothing to give. I wanted to feel, but there was nothing to show. I wanted to see, but I was scared of what could have come. There was nothing in me, no feelings or tears, no emotions or thoughts. There was nothing in me at all, just pure emptiness.
"Lynn." Nathan took a huge breath, a long pause followed. "Do you want me to do something to him?"
He pried me back. "What do you mean?"
Nathan took his hand off of my waist and moved it to my forearm as he pulled me towards the doors. Hauling me across the empty parking lot, I was met with the same black truck I rode in the previous night. Even if it was all foggy, I remembered portions of riding home in his truck. It had a similar warmth to him. Maybe it was because he was the only person I had close to me, or maybe it was because he was the only person I could confide in and trust, but I felt like I was able to lay down and close my eyes in safety.
"It's a yes or no question, Lynn. So, answer it." Nathan opened the passenger door.
He was thinking of doing something he was going to end up regretting, and I wasn't about to let that happen. I had already lost my happiness. I had lost Grace. My dad was rarely around me and my mom had been busy enough with her business as it was. If it hadn't been for Nathan, I would've been alone. If he left, I would've had nothing. It had taken that shadow in his eyes and that ambiguous question to make me realize it. That I was alone without him.
"No. I just need you to stay here. I need you." my eyes took to the sports logo on his shirt as word after uncontrollable word spilled out for him.
"Just don't leave me alone."
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