I woke the next morning on the living room couch, my head nestled into the crook of Christian’s neck. He smelled of sweat and boy, and as I exhaled, I shook my head. I couldn’t do this now, think about him this way. It wasn’t right.152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHz1Jgg4kd
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Slowly, he shifted and drew his arms around my body, pulling me closer so that my nose touched the pulse of his neck. I tried to untangle his arms when he cracked one, groggy, hazel eye open. He smiled lazily and blinked.152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCsbL9fE4J
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“You’re leaving?” he asked, frowning.152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡep8gM3BVBO
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“It’s morning,” I said. “Plus it’s my house and my mom should be getting up soon.”152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXq3C2g2c8
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“Kendall.” Christian’s voice was calm. “What’s wrong with your mom?”152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlOujZWpfo
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I glanced behind my shoulder at him; he was sitting up and looking at me with his hair hanging in his eyes. I shook my head and wrapped my fingers in my hair, determined not to pull it out under the circumstances.152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOiAxAcjs8
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“Nothing’s wrong with her,” I said. “Why would you think that?”152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5l7EvNNPl7
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He stared at me, his lip twitching slightly. “Please. I’m not stupid. You could have called if you needed a place to stay.”152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigO3kMidOj
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“This is my home,” I replied, my fingers itching to touch him. “I have to stay here, to help my mom. You’d do the same for yours.”152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVOR8LU6hf
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He nodded. “I would.”152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAq4uPdlEi
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What he was going to say was, I would if I had one152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJGNUmdC2O
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Christian’s mom died in a car accident a few years ago, leaving him and his father to fend for themselves. All of this had been revealed the first night I met Christian, at a party over the summer. I had been sitting by myself and he had taken it upon himself to come over and talk to me.152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PUfJxMYx0
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We had been inseparable since that night, when he asked for my number, and we’d constantly texted after that. I never told him about my dad, or my mom and her drinking problem, and it was supposed to stay that way, at least for awhile.152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7Prq9OQm4
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“I have to go to a new doctor,” I said into the silence. I wondered if he even cared about that, or if he thought I was crazy for even going. “My mom said she made an appointment today.”152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67aEUEVJFP
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“I didn’t know you were seeing a therapist,” he said softly. The couch shifted as he moved off of it and crouched in front of me, reaching to take my hands. “I’ll go with you, if you want. I know it’s scary when you’re doing something new.”152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmX8JonVHP
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I smiled slightly and leaned my head against his shoulder. “Thank you,” I whispered. I lifted my head to look into his face, my voice tightening from what I was about to say. “There are things about me that you don’t know, that no one knows, and if you come with me, you’re going to hear all of it.”152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjBdclQX4b
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“I don’t care,” he said, shaking his head. “I want to help.”152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BvhZM3uWC
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I sighed, wondering how he would see me after this day, if he would even want to see me again. I tried not to think about that as we walked out onto the porch, his hand on the small of my back.152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnaFvIR3KCL
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“It will be okay,” he said. “I promise.”152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwD1we0nXd
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When I turned to tell him I knew it would, that I’d be okay because I had a good friend with me, he bent his head and kissed me. 152Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgfAP9kZXu
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