After the visit to the cemetery, I decided I wanted to go home and talk to my mom about the letter I found. I hadn't talked to anyone about it and I wanted to discuss it with her before my session with Dr. Alder tomorrow. I wonder if she would tell me to find him, or stay here and just wonder what could have been.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DtmSvajnV
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I wasn't even sure what I wanted to do. In all honesty, I hadn't thought about the letter for awhile. It's not that I didn't want to, it's just that to me, there were more pressing matters at hand. Like the nightmares. Something told me they were just going to keep getting worse. And what if I had a dream about killing Jared, and then he's found dead?493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpTfmpqlGo
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Even though I'm not actually the one doing these things, it's terrifying to know that someone is. I feel like whoever it is, is trying to get to me, because they're murdering the people around me. First John, then Cassie. Who was next? That was the hardest thing to thing about. About who out of the people around me would be savagely killed, either shot, stabbed, or whatever else the killer chose to do to them.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmR1QwNoy4S
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These were the things I thought about as Jude drove me to my house. We didn't talk about Abbie, though I was curious, and we didn't talk about the kiss that never should have happened. We didn't talk about anything he turned down my road. Then he turned to me, his eyes serious.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKaywv5LbT
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"Kendall." His voice was urgent now. "I have to tell you something."493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYu5t6CEvx
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I looked at him. "If it's about the kiss, don't worry about it. I know it was wrong, that I shouldn't have done it. I have a boyfriend."493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtImo56IMD
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Jude scoffed. "Right. A boyfriend who just pushes you away and leaves you standing alone in an empty school parking lot. Tell me, have you heard from him since then?"493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxppwG4TGUy
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"Well no."493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjYVNLS3wL
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"Exactly. But that isn't what I wanted to talk about."493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBVM5brYt4
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"Can it wait?" I asked as we pulled closer to my house. I opened the door and looked back at him.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyvcP0CqOV
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"No," he said, shaking his head. He reached over and cupped my cheek. "It wasn't supposed to be like this," he murmured, more to himself than me. "It was just fucking business, I was not supposed to get attached."493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOesgxbNEi
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I blinked, removed his hand, and said, "What's going on?"493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTauLCHVzp
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"Do you think it was by luck that I began talking to you? I wish it was. I wish I wasn't in this shitty situation, but I am, and I'm about to make it worse."493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpM4uLpfLx
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"What are you talking about?"493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuPrFwuOfR
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The fact that he couldn't even look at me hurt. Slowly, I grasped his hand and held it tightly.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMyxGjaULW
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"You can tell me anything, you know. I'm not going to judge you."493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWO7iGJQMPa
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He looked at me and smiled. The smile was all wrong. It wasn't warm or caring, but like he knew whatever he had to tell me I wasn't going to like. That maybe I would hate it. Maybe I would hate him. I didn't think that last part was possible.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDgx03yuBM
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"I was paid a lot of money to befriend you, Kendall. I was supposed to get information about you for someone. I don't even really know who the guy is, but anyway, I don't want to do it anymore. I care about you and I'm not willing to ruin what I have with you for a few bucks."493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpv8WtTu4uD
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I couldn't believe what he was telling me. I was so mad that I started to tremble. Every part of me wanted to hit him. When I spoke, my voice was chipped, bitter.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPhekYsuPU
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"How much money?"493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhU6Ga6eWI
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"Excuse me?" Jude said. He stammered a little when he said it. He wasn't expecting that question.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWKQ3Kfxe8
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"How much money were you offered to put up a false friendship? How much was my agony worth to you?" I glared at him. "How fucking much?" I slammed my foot into the dashboard of his car, breaking the glove compartment open. Papers fluttered out and I heard him make a noise, then I looked down.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxSw3A6Dta
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My face, all different angles and views, stared up at me.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTdbJKr0sR