~ A collection ~ - Suspended on ice | Penana

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#1

Suspended on ice

urmom

Feb 22, 2021

242

1 分鐘

Every

thing is so confusing

Frightening, I enjoy abusing

Causes laughter, how is that amusing?

To get this high

I only need two things

My hands and glass

Pain, I'm choosing

I need the red to start oozing

Brings my soul into alignment

It's attuning

I was scattered, now I'm cruising

Short-term, I'm winning

Long-term, I'm losing

Think I don't notice, but I'm not stupid

Your actions are cold and callous, yet bruising

Reflecting is painful

Ruminating

Perfecting my anger

I'm my own stranger

Start digging too deep, and you're in danger

Don't talk about it

The shield will begin to tear

And taper

Running is safer

Cuz if I stop to rest

It'll be major

I'll collapse

and fall into my man-made crater

It's not warm and comfy

It's not nice and loving

It's a chaotic ring of anger

You're inside, crying, a gladiator

Fighting you

A beast, a traitor

How do I turn against myself

For someone else

I teach myself to behave, I'm a trainor

For the sake of a manipulator

I twisted their behavior

And regretted it later

I thought I was doing an act of kindness, a simple favor

But I should've seen the signs

They were right before my eyes

I could've read between the lines

And realized, it was all lies

But the volume of the cries was too high

My trust was being compromised

It would later lead to my demise

But no.

I could only think of the prize

Satisfaction, that I changed a life

Focusing on others before mine

Putting myself on the front line

I was sitting there denying

They were committing crimes and then crying

Begging for forgiveness

My empathy and hope overtook

I was no longer logically minded

I couldn't find it

In my heart to stay quiet

I had to reach out and help

I was collecting trauma and binding

Attaching to my findings

Captain save-a-hoe

You'll learn later tho

You'll reach an all-time low

Then you'll finally know

Never trust

Cuz you can never really know

Any second

They can let go.

You'll be suspended.

On ice.

Not knowing which way

to go.

ns216.73.216.238da2

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目錄

#1 Suspended on ice

#2 Disappointing and depleting

#3 Love- the poem-

#4 I will always be your rival, because you are in denial

#5 -I was the dead body and the coroner-

#6 Make-shift mommy

#7 The things you say......

#8 Fighting myself.....

#9 You shoot your words like bullets, and it hits.....

#10 I can't tell if I love you or hate you....

#12 It's all lies, darling

#13 I thought it was true, when you said "I love you"

#14 Pleasure and pain, they both feel the same

#16 It's not my pain. So why am I feeling it?

#18 WRITERS BLOCK

#19 Feeling like nothing...

#20 You never treated me fairly....

#21 Blocked from what?

#25 Shit I pulled out of my ass lmao

#26 I'm fine, just having flashbacks of a former time

#27 Funny how bitches say "express yourself"

#28 Just want to make your pain go away.....

#32 *Trigger warning*- Inspired by a lyric from the song "Look at me" by xxxtentacion

#33 Internal bleeding

#34 People are liars.

#35 Matty beats rap

#36 Nightmare continuation-