The Life I Had (pt. 1) | Jay Halstead
Summary: Based on season 5, episodes 7 and 10. Jay is struggling with this undercover mission, while Y/N is trying to help him after Erin left him. Both of them are starting to realize their feelings for each other.
Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader.6Please respect copyright.PENANAEBf2Kaz5XC
Originally posted by samantha-chicago
You woke up that day really early. On the way to the district, you bought coffee for you and Adam because you were supposed to meet him there. Voight partnered you two after Hailey joined the unit and partnered with Jay when Erin left. You trusted her and you knew that she’ll keep an eye on Jay.
Well, you both thought it will be simple, but you were lying to yourself. Jay was your best friend, both of you knew each other like no one. You’ve been a little concerned lately because it was obvious that he couldn’t collect himself after his fiancee to be left him without a word.
You walked into the bullpen, where’s no sign of Adam. Leaving things on your desk, you checked your phone to see if he tried to contact you.
“Hey, Y/N?” he said. You placed a hand on your heart, he scared you off.
“Oh my god! I think I’m having a heart attack.”
“Well, that’s the first time when a woman reacts like this because of me, that’s new. Anyway, can we talk? Like talk.”
“Um, sure. Something happened?” he pulled you into the break room.
“It’s about Jay. I think he needs help.” you tried to act like you were surprised, but of course, you knew everything. “I found him an hour ago laying here, almost crying, asleep. He looked like someone just told him that his dog died.”
“I… I don’t know what I can say. I’m trying to help him since Erin left, but… I haven’t spoken to him for a few days and I don’t know if he needs us or someone who is a specialist. Anyway, thank you for sharing, I’ll keep an eye on him.”
“Anytime. By the way, thank you for the coffee, I owe you!” he kissed your cheek and left you by the kitchen sink. You turned to the window. God, this was just the beginning of the worse.
Hours passed by and now you found yourself on the scene. Hailey took you from the district when she heard about a shooting. Jay was there too, he was first, chasing the shooter.
“Okay, do we got anything?” Voight asked.
“Yeah, it looks like a possible kidnapping!” Hailey answered.
“Let’s go, we need to find who did this.”
Jay gave you a small nod, he didn’t even say a word. He just shut himself down.
You were trying to fall asleep when you heard someone knock at your door.
You opened the doors to reveal Jay with puffy eyes and a bag of clothes.
“Hi, I- Um… I couldn’t sleep and I thought that maybe I could stay here for the night?” he asked.
“You cried?” you stepped back to let him in.
“When I close my eyes all I see is that little girl. Then Erin, memories of when I was in the Army. I can’t think, I can’t sleep, it’s just-” he willing up with tears as you pulled him into a hug.
“I’m here, it’s okay. Go to my bedroom, make yourself as at home, I’ll take the couch and don’t say a word. I’ll be okay. I’m here Jay and I’m not going anywhere.” he hugged you one more time and kissed your forehead before going to bed.
“Y/N? Is Jay okay?” Hailey asked.
“That’s a really good question. He’s not talking to me, even after I moved into his house.”
“You really did that?” she asked.
“Yeah, that was way better than seeing him every night at my doors. And he’s feeling more comfortable in his apartment so, I don’t mind. I just wish everything would be the same, just like the old times.”
“It’s gonna be okay, you got me, Adam, whole unit. He just needs some time!” she replied.
After a quiet long ride to the district, you were now giving files to the rest of the team.
“Put me under on this, I’ll get pieces of information on him, then we’ll take him here!” Jay said. You looked at him and wished that he was just joking.
“No way, what’s the point in this?” you asked.
“Y/N, I actually think it can work. Okay, Jay, you got this.” Voight said. He chose you to put a wire on Jay. You went with him.
“Why are you still trying to protect me?” he asked.
“Maybe because you can’t figure out problems which you’re dealing with now and you’re getting more of them going under for Luis?” you finished pinning a wire on him when Hailey walked in saying that it’s time to go.
They left you standing there with a mind full of thoughts. Bad thoughts.
A few hours later, back at Jay’s apartment, alone, you decided to open a bottle of wine.
You sat on the couch and checked your phone. You had one massage from Hailey.
“He’s got into a fight in the bar and then went with Luis and his sister to their house, I’ll keep you updated xx”
You stared at your phone and after a while, you fell asleep.
2:27 am. You woke up by the sound of knocking.
You walked to your doors. Of course, it was Jay.
“Hey, sorry for waking you up.” he smiled weakly. You let him in and made him a cup of tea.
“What’s wrong Jay? Please, talk to me.” you hugged his right side, while he was sipping his drink.
“I need help Y/N. I want to tell you everything that is happening, I think I’m ready, but before… I wanted to ask you this… Can you move in with me? I mean as a friend? I don’t feel okay being alone all the time, I know I’m asking for a pretty huge thing.”
“Okay. I’ll.” you smiled at him and hugged him tightly.
You woke up by the sound of closing doors. You noticed that you’re still in clothes from the day before and the wine is still full.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to wake you up, but I’ve got some information about Jay.” Adam appeared at his apartment with coffee in his hands.
“Okay, but since when do you have keys?” you asked curiously.
“Well, I got my sources.” you took the coffee from him and went to take a quick shower. You changed clothes and went to the living room. Adam opened the files that he brought in to show you.
“So, today we’re supposed to meet the guys who kidnapped Cody, but instead of that, we’re pulling Marcus to get Jay into the deal. He’ll meet with Josh and he’ll take him to the boy.”
“So, if anything will go wrong, Jay is the one who’ll get the punch?” you asked.
“Possibly. But we need to move quickly, seconds matter here Y/N.”
“Then let’s go.”
The whole team met by the old factory, where Cody was. You were talking about the strategy when you heard gunshots.
“Move in, let’s go!”
You went to the left with Adam, when Antonio pulled the trigger and killed one of the shooters. The second one was already dead, by that you knew that Jay was here. You saw by the corner of your eye that Hailey found him, kneeling beside Luis’s body.
Adam took you by hand to reach the kidnapped boy. You two took him outside where ambo was waiting for him.
Minutes passed and you saw Jay walking out.
“Hey, it’s done. We got him.” you walked to him.
“Yeah, I guess.” he nodded at you and started to walk away.
“What’s wrong with you huh? Why are you acting like this?” you yelled at him. The whole team was now watching you.
“Nothing is wrong with me, the deal is done, I’m going back home.”
“No Jay, why are you like this towards me? You keep avoiding me, when I’m here, trying to help you fix your shit.” he turned and looked at you.
“That’s the problem Y/N! I don’t need your help, I don’t need any help, I’ve learned how to deal with it on my own.” you walked closer to him. “You’re not like Erin and you can’t help everyone, just deal with it.”
“Stop! Just stop! I’m done being your punching bag, Jay. I’m done okay? I’ve been here every step of the way since Erin left and yet I haven’t heard from you anything but that you don’t need a babysitter. If you say so, you will be totally fine living on your own. Give me the keys.”
“Y/n, please..”
“Give me your keys!”
“I didn’t mean to -”
“No more, Jay, say no more. I’ll take everything from your place before midnight and I’ll leave the keys in the same place as always.” Jay wanted to stop you, but Adam placed a hand on his shoulder and made him stop.
That was it you thought. He achieved what he wanted.
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