The Life I Had (pt.2) | Jay Halstead
Summary: Based on season 5, episodes 7 and 10. Jay is struggling with this undercover mission, while Y/N is trying to help him after Erin left him. Both of them are starting to realize their feelings for each other.
Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader.
It was time to go to work when you got a message from Hailey that she’ll pick you up because you got a case. Since yesterday you were now at Adam’s apartment because when you moved to Jay, you decided to sell your apartment. You needed cash and it wasn’t a necessity to have another one. You thought that it’ll last longer than that, but well… Jay had different plans.
“I’ll be back late, you can take my keys!” Adam said when you walked into the kitchen.
“And why is that?”
“I’m working at something, don’t worry.” he hugged you, took his gun and badge, and then left.
Hailey showed up a few minutes later.
“What do we got here?” you asked.
“Jay was undercover yesterday and he found a shooted girl. He’s on the scene.”
“Well, that’s none of my business, but I’m pretty sure we’ve finished this case and there’s no need to him be undercover.”
“Yeah, I guess. Voight is already there, I don’t know what we should expect!” she said.
“I swear to god, if he got involved in something because of this girl, I’ll end her!" you said and closed the door behind you.
You followed Hailey to her car. After a few minutes, you were on the scene.
“What are you doing here?” Jay asked as you, Hailey and Voight showed up.
“Well, what are YOU doing here Jay? I’m pretty sure we’ve closed this case!” Voight asked him, but you knew what the answer will be. Of course, Jay was feeling something for this girl.
“I’m working. Camila Vega, she’s my CI!” he asked and looked at you.
“Since when? Did you put her in papers?" you didn’t want to listen to this conversation. Walking by the few police officers, you decided to check the body and find some personal items like a phone or wallet.
But there was nothing. Only cash.
"Y/N? Can we talk?” Jay appeared behind you as you were talking with another officer.
“What do you want? If I left something at your place I’ll take it tonight, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got everything.”
“Stop, no, I just… I really miss talking to you. I want to apologize Y/N.” he looked at you and you felt tears willing up in your eyes. Why was this so difficult? You weren’t together, you didn’t break up… He was just a friend. And partner.
“I don’t think it’s a great place to have a conversation like this. I can meet you tonight if you want.”
“Okay, be at my place at 9 pm.” he tried to step forward and hug you, but you moved to the back. You didn’t feel right, not now.
Even if you were still mad at him, you smiled when he walked away. It was painful being that far away from him, he meant so much to you, and it couldn’t end up like this, but at the same time, he needed to know that what he did was just wrong.
Time passed by and you decided to leave Adam’s apartment and go visit Jay. This day wasn’t that bad at all. Back at district, you were talking a little bit more with him than usual, so that made you really happy.
You decided to take a walk to his apartment. It was close to Ruzek’s apartment and there was no need to drive, besides, you thought that this night you both will end up drunk.
After a few minutes, you were chasing the hall. You checked your phone last time to see if he sent something to you about canceling your plans. You knocked on his door, but there was just silence. He didn’t text you, you were just standing there knocking at his door.
“Hey, can you be quieter? If he’s not answering, maybe he just doesn’t want to talk” some neighbor said.
“Sorry, I’ll just go now!” you answered. You stood there for a second before storming out of the building. When you felt the wind on your cheeks, you burst into tears. He lied. He freaking lied, leaving you there alone.
You couldn’t catch a breath, everything was so blurry. You didn’t want to show up like this in Adam’s place, so instead of going there, you went back to the district. It was late, the whole intelligence went homes, so no one would notice you there.
You sat on the couch in the break room with tea in your hands. From nowhere Voight appeared confused, just standing and staring at you.
“Please just don’t say anything, I can’t handle more today!” you said.
“What happened, kiddo? I thought you went home with Adam.” he walked closer.
“Yeah I did, but I forgot to do something here so I got back.”
“Don’t lie to me Y/N. You gave me your files, there’s no reason for you to be here!” he said. “So, you better gotta tell me what happened or I’m calling Adam.”
“Halstead and I can’t get along in the past few weeks, we were supposed to meet today, but he just didn’t show up and I can’t go back to Adam's place looking like this. I’ll stay here for the night I guess.”
“No way Y/N. Come on, you’re going back to Adam, you’re going to tell him what happened. I can’t let you think that this is okay. Talk about everything that is bothering you, kid.”
“You’re right I guess. But I’ll go alone, I need to call someone before I got home.”
“Okay, but I’m giving you 15 minutes, then I’ll call Trudy to drive you on her own.”
“Sure thing.”
The next day, you arrived alone in the district. The team got a lead to a guy who was dealing with drugs and he was supposed to meet that killed girl. After we found out that she was undercover as a CIA agent made this case the most important thing and it needed to be solved as soon as possible.
You smiled at Trudy when you got there and went straight upstairs.
“Club Echo? And Alex? I know him, I met him through Camila.” you heard Jay’s voice as you appeared in the bullpen.“I can go under with Y/N.” he continued.
“Take Hailey, I’ve got work to do.” you snapped at him and went to your desk. Voight looked at you and answered:
“Y/N, you’re going. I need Hailey here!” he said.
“But Serg-” of course he made this because of the last night and what you’ve told him.
“Go before you’ll say too much.” you stood up, grabbed your jacket, and went after Jay.
The whole time there was silence in the car. You said that you don’t want to talk as you got in his truck and he just nodded.
After a while you were in Echo, searching for Alex.
“Hey man, thanks for the meeting!” Jay said.
“Ryan, hey! Who’s that pretty lady huh?” Alex asked looking at you.
“Not your league. I’m his sister.” you pointed with your head at Jay.
“So, I heard that you have something good for me.”
“What are you talking about?” Alex laughed at Jay.
“Man, we y'all know that you’re dealing. Camila told me.”
“Yeah, I do. What also, did she say after that 20 minutes in the back of the club, and whole night at her place huh?” you looked at Jay confused. He stood you up for her. He freaking lied to you because of her. He chose her over you.
“Alright, you want to know more than you should. Can we make a deal?” Jay asked.
“Sure, I’ll call you when it’ll be done!” they said goodbyes and you went outside.
You couldn’t believe that Jay really did that to you. After all these years.
“I can’t believe…” you whispered.
“What Y/N?”
“You’re sleeping with her. This entire time being "undercover” you were screwing up with her.“ you said.
"Y/N, it’s not like that…”
“It’s not like what? Like what Jay? You fucking lied to me. I was the one who waited for you for almost an hour in front of their apartment because you were too busy fucking her! Was that worth it? Overall these things we had?
"I wanted to see you but it came out of nowhere and I needed to meet her and talk!” he answered and walked closer.
“No, all you needed was to fuck her. That’s what you wanted to do. All this time. And don’t play being broken and alone Jay. I was the one who was with you all this time! I stayed the night with you, I moved in with you because you needed help! I watched you almost die, cry every night, I was there, not her! And you’re still treating me like this.”
“Don’t make it like this Y/N… Don’t play innocent girl, you’re saying that I’m making wrong choices but maybe look at yourself and ask if it’s right to sleep around with Adam!”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Life isn’t perfect Y/N.”
“Yeah, funny story that you were the one who broke me first!” you said and walked away.
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