日正當空,湖面蒸氣騰升,空氣濕翳悶侷。旅客遊湖興致大減,看見湖側小艇租賃店的殘破裝潢,僅餘的愉悅心情消磨殆盡。73Please respect copyright.PENANA9T5ZPnaTUs
73Please respect copyright.PENANAqVAMgHKKgi
四十年前,他一手創立這曾經輝煌一時的小艇租賃店。哪個他?就是那個身穿發黃白色背心、正在店內老舊梳化上打盹的瘦削老頭。73Please respect copyright.PENANAyHuemwNKep
73Please respect copyright.PENANAdjZXeqwVVZ
一個女人走入店內,輕推他的臂膀,硬生打斷他夢中的快樂家庭生活。「先生,我來租小艇的。」73Please respect copyright.PENANA4hGj5UcgR8
73Please respect copyright.PENANAQPDCtZroG5
他氣得想要破口大罵,但千萬粗言穢語最終化成一聲不耐煩的嘆息示現人前。嶙峋雙手硬撐身子坐起來,乾癟雙腳好不容易才成功對準、穿上拖鞋,以飄落黃葉似的搖曳步姿走到櫃檯,拿出簇新的黑色硬皮簿。「這裡。填資料。」73Please respect copyright.PENANAWIlnQv4NFH
73Please respect copyright.PENANA6wSvLMZX4u
「嗯。」女人察覺硬皮簿的簇新與店面的陳舊裝潢格格不入,估計是剛剛更換不久,證明店舖不缺客人。面前的酒鬼應該活得不錯,如果他沒有花太多錢在酒水的話。「填好了。」73Please respect copyright.PENANA4lfR7DCecH
73Please respect copyright.PENANAtxyKoFrRUJ
他匆匆收起硬皮簿,沒有瞥望資料一眼。收下按金,三言兩語粗疏講解船槳的使用方法和救生衣的位置後,馬上領著女人前往三號小艇的所在。73Please respect copyright.PENANAFkbGR7Aa84
73Please respect copyright.PENANAQLWvu5UKFh
「有關救生衣的使用方法,自己看說明書。」他打個呵欠,彷彿剛才的一連串工作已然耗盡畢生精力。73Please respect copyright.PENANA4QA69dfoAV
73Please respect copyright.PENANAvyvvCqfcvT
「嗯。」女人不介意他的粗魯無禮,幽幽目送他微駝背影遠去不復見。73Please respect copyright.PENANA9FpfewJ5qs
女人沒有歸還小艇。他想報警,可恨營商牌照早已被吊銷,實在報不得警。恨得牙癢癢的,只好買醉洩憤。73Please respect copyright.PENANA3OGimtdYB8
73Please respect copyright.PENANAlh0NWQgzJP
醉。忘了恨,忘了痛。73Please respect copyright.PENANAzpBVOGk3m4
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妻女的離開是他畢生最痛。明知她們恐懼自己酒後的狂態,奈何他真的十分需要酒精——打理生意不容易,無數問題只得他一人去處理。壓力大,失眠,唯有栽進酒水裡求安寧。73Please respect copyright.PENANAP2JGMZEJgw
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安寧日子終於到來。73Please respect copyright.PENANAQpHdDnvsiw
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妻女離家出走後,家裡沒有半點生氣,死寂氣氛沉重得令人窒息。他憤怒,他難過,他不明白自己為養家奔波勞碌多年有何價值。沒有尋找二人,沒有繼續拼盡全力打理生意。得過且過。有錢買酒就可以,有酒尋夢就可以,有夢安家就可以。夢裡的家,有他有妻有女……73Please respect copyright.PENANAgt4qRAuAYf
73Please respect copyright.PENANA4jRa7qBIc5
一名警員輕推他的臂膀,硬生打斷他夢中的快樂家庭生活。「先生,我們需要你就一宗命案到警署協助調查。」73Please respect copyright.PENANAuJMLR52Rbz
「爸:73Please respect copyright.PENANAI2CbIb11SC
73Please respect copyright.PENANAC0dDXBA2HG
三個月前,我跟丈夫離婚,兒子撫養權歸他。一個月前,媽急病離世。73Please respect copyright.PENANAq7y4A4u4jx
73Please respect copyright.PENANAdjEst3ngBI
我不知道自己該要為何活下去——我在乎的人全都離我而去。若說將來會遇到更多在乎的人,他們終歸離我而去,不是嗎?73Please respect copyright.PENANAavthSNAjfp
73Please respect copyright.PENANAUqZSmpRbtQ
被遺棄的滋味十分熬人。我驀地想起你,被我和媽遺棄的你。73Please respect copyright.PENANAoMx74mhAAE
73Please respect copyright.PENANAG0UDWCuV2s
你活得好嗎?有否掛念我和媽?你會因我們的離開而反省和戒酒嗎?73Please respect copyright.PENANAcUmBUW8jgD
73Please respect copyright.PENANA9TfZFZH9vd
二十多年來,我們的生活尚算可以,苦樂參半。奈何無論時日如何流逝,我們偶爾仍會想起你。無可否認,你是我們生命的一部分。否定你,就是否認我們生命的一部分。即使懼怕你,我們仍然希望你活得好,證明我們的生命曾經很好。73Please respect copyright.PENANApD6KWRa5BG
73Please respect copyright.PENANAHLRTW0GvPo
媽已然沒機會知道你活得可好——這是插在我心裡的一根刺。73Please respect copyright.PENANAqg1DXQueHt
73Please respect copyright.PENANAqFHYIrptSb
踏上回憶中的道路,我來到湖邊。想要看看你,卻又害怕看見你。想跟你相認,卻又害怕被你認出。如果你認出我、喚我的名字,我會捨不得去死嗎?不知道,因為你認不出我。73Please respect copyright.PENANAtkV9uK7x0u
73Please respect copyright.PENANAHCuy31Xlyd
我在硬皮簿如實寫上名字,你沒有看。我反倒覺得釋懷——一直猶豫該否自殺,一直幻想你勸阻我的情境,一直誤會世上仍有人會捨不得我……但原來是我想多了,世事從來很簡單。73Please respect copyright.PENANAaSAyWKVggV
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就這樣吧。我累了。73Please respect copyright.PENANAfQuJL6hb2G
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永別!73Please respect copyright.PENANAFGkHbBZ76X
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女兒上」73Please respect copyright.PENANAhgb4kavn5K
夜,無月無星,只有店門前的一盞黃光大燈照亮湖面一隅。風吹,水面輕皺,大燈的倒影隨之輕晃輕動。73Please respect copyright.PENANAKYeR6Y0pUG
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很美。有如久遠記憶中的女兒,妸娜多姿,輪廓分明。73Please respect copyright.PENANAHz1eBpmkA4
73Please respect copyright.PENANAbbz6nq44rT
手裡的啤酒罐清空了。他用力將空罐扔向大燈的倒影,倒影被空罐泛起的水花打亂本身的晃動節奏,散了、碎了。以為稍等數分鐘後湖面就可以重歸原樣,不,那突如其來的空罐仍在水面中或浮或沉,持續泛起無數大大小小的漣漪。73Please respect copyright.PENANAaQMUsitedG
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不美。有如殮房中的女兒,屍身發脹,面目全非。73Please respect copyright.PENANA5iFveZwrk7
73Please respect copyright.PENANADNAmawhkaH
「我在乎的人全都離我而去……他們終歸離我而去……」女兒在遺書裡無意間吐露出他多年的心聲。「我不知道自己該要為何活下去……」73Please respect copyright.PENANAFEvzVQvlKO
73Please respect copyright.PENANANN5qynM9JX
他又喝完一罐啤酒,再次將它扔向湖面。一罐復一罐,浮浮復沉沉。後來他乾脆省下喝酒的時間,直接將未開封的啤酒罐扔進湖面。啤酒罐被丟光以後,沙灘椅、戶外摺枱、櫃檯的硬皮簿、電話、文具、錢箱、身上的拖鞋、白色背心、運動短褲、內褲相繼遭殃。73Please respect copyright.PENANADTBL7Tzpip
73Please respect copyright.PENANAim1BtieWqD
愧疚難當——如果自己當時認出女兒,或許她不會自殺!73Please respect copyright.PENANA0YpmwCv6XD
73Please respect copyright.PENANAsAOQv6Kz2A
赤條條的他倏忽縱身躍入水裡。寒意徹骨。水質混濁,視野模糊。無視危險,他游向多件漂浮雜物,逐件將它們拾回岸上。看見岸上雜物在自己的努力下慢慢增多,東歪西倒堆疊一起,他心裡更覺踏實,生起奇異的安寧。73Please respect copyright.PENANA1F1jMxd6YI
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他哭了。73Please respect copyright.PENANAEsn8AFu5NM
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為何而哭?為誰而哭?不知道。73Please respect copyright.PENANAWO0KGYGyOf
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不要問,不打算知道。73Please respect copyright.PENANAzAW6SfJ7BC
73Please respect copyright.PENANAsuw9svXMnT
他游回岸邊,軟癱地上,粗喘聲中仰望夜空。73Please respect copyright.PENANAmTI3bkD7uS
73Please respect copyright.PENANAt7gWghAzOK
筋疲力竭,必須休息。73Please respect copyright.PENANAoKPncFSbw8
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不。尚有要事未辦。73Please respect copyright.PENANAC7UJppDCba
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他用盡力氣爬向雜物堆,抽出一罐未開封的啤酒。73Please respect copyright.PENANACJQgfms0QM
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咔——73Please respect copyright.PENANA3qwYlr63Yi
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骨碌骨碌骨碌——73Please respect copyright.PENANAnTdZHXF7PA
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嗄——73Please respect copyright.PENANAYtEtajJJuh
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人生,但願如此。