燙捲髮的房東太太,一邊聊著晴朗的天氣,一邊領著阿湳和小茹,信步走上公寓摟梯。拿出一大串鑰匙,打開一間寬敞乾淨的套房。23Please respect copyright.PENANA1R0rJdp07e
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「……來來來,請進,」房東太太操著台灣國語,「三樓啦,不高不低,年輕人每天運動一下,對身體特別好。你們不知道,昨天有一個董事長來看房子,公司好大,他好想租喔,但是他太太膝蓋不好啦,只好放棄,才被你們撿到。」23Please respect copyright.PENANAeomqElzyLH
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「真的喔,」小茹隨口回應,立刻張望一圈,「客廳好大喔。」23Please respect copyright.PENANAb4esw0Qh5w
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「二十八坪,當然大啊。兩房一廳,一間浴室,都給你們裝潢得好好的,這邊還有沙發、電視,最適合你們這種新婚夫妻。對啦,還有一個小廚房啦,有瓦斯爐、天然氣,煮三餐、煮宵夜都可以,陽台還有洗衣機,什麼都有啦。」23Please respect copyright.PENANA7gGf8gCaW0
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「好熱……」阿湳走向落地窗,「是不是有點曬啊,這房子是西向嗎?──」23Please respect copyright.PENANA4hoAV3BtbO
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「不是熱,是亮!這裡的採光,真的非常好!白天都不用開燈,好省電喔。再加上這個,來來來,你們看這個牆,百合白,很會反光,上個月才油漆的啦,漂不漂亮?」23Please respect copyright.PENANApqL7SxZFBC
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「嗯,很不錯。」小茹打開一扇門進入,「客廳是不是太大了,怎麼房間感覺有點小。」23Please respect copyright.PENANAL9UzNpVCbg
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「這一間是小的啦,嬰兒房啦,那邊那間才是主臥啦,來啦,這邊啦。我跟你們說,我這間房的風水可是超好的喔,上上一個房客,才住了兩年,就生了三胎吔!兩個兒子一個女兒,好有福氣喔。上一個房客也是啊,才住進來半年就懷孕了說。我都跟朋友說,我這間不是房子,是月子中心啦,哈哈哈!」23Please respect copyright.PENANAXq2QvZPvf0
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「呵……」小茹說:「我們還沒準備這麼快懷孕。」23Please respect copyright.PENANAJiTzzXdKG4
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「是喔……也沒關係啦,你們還年輕,不過還是快點好啦,早點了卻人生的責任,早生早輕鬆,不像我,快四十才中獎,我兒子的頭太大,差點把我的下面撐──」23Please respect copyright.PENANAvGkbJqUxdW
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「哇!」阿湳壓根不想聽那麼多細節,忙打開廚房門望一眼,「這廚房雖然不大,但是很漂亮吔!嗯?怎麼連鍋碗瓢盆都有啊?還有各種調味料?」23Please respect copyright.PENANADIPsm9VVFe
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「喔,那一定是上個房客忘了帶走的啦,你要是需要,就全部留下來,都可以用,不要就丟掉啦,都沒關係。我跟你們說,來租我這邊喔,最方便啦,什麼都有,什麼都不用買,一卡皮箱拖進來,馬上就可以開始新生活了。來啦,這間才對啦,主臥房,快看──」23Please respect copyright.PENANAOi0SSXTzkx
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突然一隻貓從門縫裡鑽出來。小茹嚇得後退尖叫,「哇!」慌忙抬頭間,看一個啤酒肚裸男也驚叫一聲,緊張得從床上跳下來。小茹又大喊:「啊──!有人!」慌忙轉身,一個穿著浴袍的女人正從浴室走出來,兩人差點撞個正著。「天啊──!」小茹趕忙縮起身體躲進角落,避免所有碰觸。23Please respect copyright.PENANABGBOoTq2VZ
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「後退!後退!後退!」阿湳趕緊衝到小茹身前阻擋,問道:「現在是怎麼回事啊?」23Please respect copyright.PENANAyRiDUM3iAn
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「唉呦,是房東太太啊……」浴袍女人先是嚇了一跳,接著笑了笑,說:「妳又走錯了啦,這裡上禮拜已經租給我們了,昨天不是還打過招呼,說今天搬家公司會來的呀。」23Please respect copyright.PENANAvn6XCHl4d2
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「怎麼……不對啊,我記得,我還有一間房子沒租出去啊?」23Please respect copyright.PENANAaDKxmQubt3
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「房東太太,妳又記錯了,妳空出來的房子是在四樓。這裡是三樓。」23Please respect copyright.PENANAyQxzO7QBY0
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「喔,對啦、對啦,我怎麼記憶退化了啦,」房東太太邊說,邊走向大門,「不過喔,妳也要記得鎖好門啦,免得我又走錯了,大家都嚇一跳啦。」23Please respect copyright.PENANA3jc2ol55uT
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小茹全身一哆嗦,立刻看向阿湳,用唇語說著:我有聽錯嗎?23Please respect copyright.PENANAkF3HCNtIZ8
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阿湳同時望向小茹,雞皮疙瘩滿身,不停甩著眼神詢問:走嗎?要走嗎?現在走嗎?23Please respect copyright.PENANAcSsY6cneJR
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「我怎麼又忘了鎖門啊,」浴袍女人一拍腦袋,說:「真是糟糕,這裡的鎖還沒用熟啦,下次會注意的,再見喔。」把門關上,拉上鐵鍊。23Please respect copyright.PENANARWBj7aCs82
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「來,這邊啦,」房東太太緩步爬上樓,回頭卻沒看見人,只聽見紛沓的腳步聲不停向下,「喂,你們走錯了啦,四樓是在三樓上面啦!喂──!」23Please respect copyright.PENANAO3fmt8OXqi
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阿湳和小茹不停向下走,走得愈來愈快,快得差點跌倒也不在乎。23Please respect copyright.PENANASFNbPQDeW6
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(阿湳和小茹不只對身體過敏,也對他人異常的行為極度敏感。)