Dear diary,
Don't worry, that intro probably won't last long.
Today I spent some time remembering or rather crying over a friend I lost. For simplicity's sake I'll call them K. K has been gone for a year now, but they were a writer. Not a published one you would know by name, but they had several books with loyal followers that they'd update regularly. Actually, being on this app you may know their pen name, but I do so appreciate anonymity so I'm not going to mention it. You may, however, want to give up waiting for an update.
K is the reason I decided to start writing it all out. On my old account we had started what I'm going to call a joint series. K, two other friends and I had created a series where we all had characters in it. We would take turns on who would write the next chapter, then the other 3 would write a corresponding chapter from their characters perspective. It was a lot of fun, and really grew our friendship, but it was time consuming. I'm sure we were also the only ones to read it.
I couldn't bear to read it. But I had opened the app today thinking about K. So, I went to their profile and read a two chapters. I was delighted and a little saddened that I got more of the references now. Completely independently I had "discovered" and gotten into some of the shows K watched.
Unfortunately, I realized I had found some of them before K's untimely death. There were at the very least months when they could've been a topic of conversation, an inside joke, a connection.
It reminded me of all my worse fears - that I had been poor, at best, on communication and overall a bad friend. That I had been falling out of touch, out of reach of my friends and it may have cost a life. I have no doubt that if i had been better, closer, K wouldn't have committed suicide, and there is nothing I can do about it now.
I miss you K. We all do.
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzgZ8VIRIP
