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香港小說家聚腳地
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求助
#1
詭娃
⋅
6 years ago
我第一次在這裡po文,不知道內容结構可不可以,請大家看一下😭
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#2
文維
⋅
6 years ago
我自己就建議可以改善一下少啲一行一句啦~
Reply
#3
詭娃
⋅
6 years ago
好!🐴
Reply
#4
文維
⋅
6 years ago
我睇左最新一集
我認為妳用括號黎方開視點嘅方法需要落啲苦功~
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#5
詭娃
⋅
6 years ago
那個是內心话欸~🤔
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#6
文維
⋅
6 years ago
我知道呀~
不過可能要考慮有人會睇唔明
就好似正話幫妳修改個部份,妳將視點俾左夏辰希
但係妳係用括號,個PART其實有混淆左,究竟真係心底話,定係分鏡黎呢
不過又唔算大件事黎嘅~加油啦~
Reply
#7
千撒
⋅
6 years ago
我反而覺得有啲位缺乏咗個主語,即係邊個講嘢你冇寫清楚,雖然睇埋後面都應該會明,但我覺得寫埋會比較好;)
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#8
藍傑沙
⋅
5 years ago
加油
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