Hi all, I am in need of some fresh pairs of eyes for my story 13! Essentially, its a paranormal romance with some mythos thrown in. I need as many readers as possible because I need some varying perspectives. I'll leave the summary listed below, but its hella cringy because I suck with writing summaries.
"The end of their quest had been leading them to a gate- a gate that would hopefully get them the hell out of this godforsaken reality.
The reality that had been warped by Viscera, that they had duck-taped back together to look somewhat like it used to like one would do a vase- and goddammit Jimmy, you made it look like it has a d- but regardless they did not take into account the fact that someone else would be in the habit of stopping their departure and now congrats! The Lycan, who had been apparently hit too many times in the head, has a mate he could not remember but who very much remembers him and guess what?
She isn't what she seems either (go figure!).
Now they're all caught up in a war among the Primordial Gods and well- lets just say someone has to put a stop to it and "fuck you, Asher. I did not sign up for this bullshit."
But regardless they're all in for it anyway!"
I need help with plot holes, any unexplained jumps, and I need help figuring out whether some scenes/themes/plot points are underdeveloped. I'm also looking for general feelings about the characters, about the writing, about how the story needs to be cut.
I started writing this story with longer chapters than I am now, so the first few are rather long winded.
The flow of the chapter is CurrentTime(A), Flashback (B) and it basicly alternates every other chapter, so ABABABABABAB and so on.... I don't have any of it pre-written and have yet to actually outline any of it and so any recommendations/suggestions would be highly appreciated.