Another day has begun. The roads are filled with cars with hot-headed drivers. Stop lights are not functioning; pedestrians are crossing the roads that clearly say, “No Jaywalking.” Streets are fogged up with smoke coming out of jeepneys. People in general are busy in their own separated worlds.
“Wake up Adaline! It’s already 6am!”
I wake up to this every morning, the high-pitched voice of my mom. It’s an alarm and a reminder that I have to get my butt off my bed and go to school.
“Oh, all right mom.’’
So I got up, fixed myself, grabbed the car keys and left. The university that I attend is actually traffic-prone zone, as said by my friends.
When I arrived at the university, I ran as fast as I could because I was late; again. I thought my chest was going to explode as I reached the 5th floor of the building where my classroom was.
“You’re late again Adaline!’’ my professor said, stating the obvious. Well, I couldn’t argue as I was in fact forty five minutes late. So I said to him, “Sorry sir!” He just looked at me disappointed and all; nodded permitting me to sit.
When I arrived at school, my best friend Kate approached me and said, “Have you spoken with Sir Duarte? He was looking for you awhile ago.” “Do you know what for?” I asked. “Not fully’, but I think it’s about the interschool debate thingy.”
We started walking to the Junior Executive Council office to get the attendance sheet that is asked by our adviser daily. “Kate, have you seen Anton? He’s not taking any of my calls and not replying to my messages.” I asked. “Oh! I forgot to tell you! I saw him earlier at Fiorgelato. He asked me to tell you where he was. I think he lost his phone.”
When I was walking to my room, I heard somebody calling me. “Adaline! There you are! I have been looking everywhere for you!”
“Sir Duarte! Sorry, how can I help you?” “Well, you were chosen to represent our school next month at Baguio for the annual interschool debate competition. Will you be good to go?”
“Really? Of course I’ll be good to go next month! Thank you so much for the trust!” I exclaimed.
After that, I told Sir that I had to go ahead because I was already late for class. It’s funny how fast my excitement subsided.
As I entered the room, my English teacher called me. “Adaline, dear, you were chosen to join the declamation contest next week.”
“You see, ma’am, I’m not very good in memorizing. Kate’s very good. I think this opportunity will be better given to Kate. ”I suggested.
“I didn’t know that. Thanks dear!” She answered.
The class went on; she discussed a poem called “Mending Walls” by Robert Frost. I didn’t quite understand it though. Ha-Ha!
I walked downstairs to the office when someone grabbed my arm. It was Anton. “Hey! Where is the reflection paper that I told you to make? It’s due today!” He said.
“Wait, it’s in my bag.” I got it out of my bag. Before I could even hand it to him, he grabbed it and then ran off. “I’ll text you later!” He shouted. “I love you.”I murmured. And I thought his phone was missing.
“Adaline! What is the target market of product D?” “Adaline!”
“Hey! Professor Mellet is asking you.” Kate whispered.
“Oh sorry Sir! Can you repeat the question?” I asked. The class laughed at my embarrassing moment.
Professor kindly repeated the question and thank God I was able to answer. That would have been in my top 10 embarrassing moments.
As Kate and I were walking down the corridor, she asked, “What is going on with you lately?”
“Nothing, just a bit tired.” I answered.
“Tired of?”
“...stuff. I don’t know.” I said.
She did not ask further, thankfully. We headed home.
I stood at the stage, waited for what felt like fifteen minutes of anticipation. The announcer did a very good job in intensifying the feeling of suspense before announcing the winner of the Debate Competition.
“... and the first place goes to... Adaline Ovard!” She finally announced.
I felt proud of myself, hearing the screams and cheers of the people who supported me. As I went down the stage, I saw my best friend Kate and my English teacher with smiles on their faces. “You did amazing bes!” screamed Kate. “Nicely done Adaline!” praised my teacher.
“Thank you!”
“Adaline! Come down right now, young lady!” My dad shouted.
I came down stairs then asked him, “What is it dad?”
He stared right at me with his brows furrowed and jaws closed tightly. And right there I knew that I was in trouble. “Have you grown stupid? You failed THREE subjects and you’re asking me what’s up?”
I did not know what to say. My mind went blank. I could not answer him which made him madder. He stood up and slapped me in the face. I could not do or say anything. Tears just started to fall on my cheeks.
My mother heard everything and decided to call me. “Adaline! Come here up stairs!” But I knew that it was her way to get me out of my father’s sight. So I went straight to my room.
I cried and cried. My mother slowly entered my room and sat down by me on my bed. “What’s wrong, honey?” she asked.
“Nothing, just a bit tired.” I replied. It’s as if my mind is programmed to reply this phrase every time someone asks me if I’m alright.
“You have not been yourself lately. You used to do well in school.”
“I said nothing’s wrong, mom.” I said hastily.
She must have been annoyed by the tone of my voice. She asked me with a angrier tone, “Just tell me what your problem is so I can help you!”
“I don’t know what my problem is. That’s my problem!” I shouted.
“What are you talking about?”
“Exactly! How could you understand if I myself could not?”
She quieted.
“I feel like I’m such a failure!”I failed as a daughter, sister, student, and friend! I have failed as a person, mom!” This time I was crying so hard that I couldn’t breathe.
“Don’t be so dramatic, Adaline!”
“This is exactly why I’m afraid of! I should’ve not told you anything!” I cried. “Mom, I think I might be depressed.”
“Depressed about?” she asked.
I sighed. “Don’t you know what depression is?” I asked.
“I do. That’s why I’m asking you what are you depressed about.” she said.
I shook my head and said, “Oh mom...”
The next day, Kate and I decided to go out eat out. While we were waiting for our food, I got curious if I am the only one feeling this indescribable feeling.
“Kate? Don’t you feel like there’s something missing?” I asked.
“What?” She asked. “Missing where?”
“Life, Kate. This can’t be all life can offer.” I said.
“Uh. Ady? What the heck are you saying?”
“Nothing. Nevermind.”
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“Adaline! Oh my God!” screamed Mrs. Mellet.
There she found Adaline, on the bed; pale and lifeless. Her face still tacky from the tears she shed. On her hand, an empty bottle of sleeping pills. And by her side, a hand written note that says:
“People need somebody to lean on.”
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