On my way to school I picked my phone for the first time in a week, I ignored most messages because my eyes were looking for one exact message. I found none, I was not expecting that. I plugged my white earphone into my black phone and started listening to my favorite playlist. It goes for a couple hours but school was just 4 blocks away from my home. I met Mabel in our usual spot, she looked appealing in a mahogany long shirt-dress, I knew she was going out with Edwin after class. I couldn't tell her about the group I am joining, it could wait till I would be confident about it. Every class that day the teacher would call me and try to give a little pep talk of how I could take care of myself, I just nodded along. I didn't have the energy and mostly I didn't care to explain.
I couldn't eat all day and my chest was stiff, some hours I felt isolated but I had Mabel next to me. Is depression this hard? Or is this even depression? I am weak because the monster who did this to me is still free alive and breathing, he can do the same to other girls, My brain was hurting me with all this ideas merging into one massive headache, it was flipping my stomach it made me throw up, I was at cafeteria I rushed to the washroom, Mabel followed as I was weeping on the ground, she washed my face and held me, she suggested that I should visit a doctor and explain my whole situation. If I could talk about what happened to me to anyone I would run to my father without a second thought, but because of that monster I was ashamed and humiliated, I knew it was a mistake. I failed to agree with her, I thought I wasn't strong enough.
After class Mabel didn't want to leave me but I insisted, I wanted her to be with the man she loves and I needed to feel a little bit better. I went to Kurt's since I had about an hour and half before going to the cultural place. I walked with my music another couple blocks, I used to feel peaceful even with the music it was agonizing, I entered the restaurant to find him sitting in our usual place looking gruesome, I froze but my tears didn't. He raised his head from between his hands to find my eyes full of tears and dread gazing at him, he stood immediately as I ran trembling walking past people so fast pushing some and getting pushed by other, till a guy stopped me asking if I was okay, I looked back that monster was standing holding his head. I freed myself from that guy, he raised his hands backing off mumbling "I am sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just wanted to help..." The stranger wanted to say more but I silenced him with a rude glance and walked away. This time pain was both physical and emotional, I was begging myself to stop crying and hold on just a little bit more. As a result of not eating all day my body was collapsing, "I have to eat to be strong. For father and Leroy. For Mabel." I hated myself so much that my life didn't matter to me as much as it mattered to them.
I walked again a couple other blocks to the cultural place as I spotted a little market on my way, I grabbed chocolate and PB cookies and an apple jus box, eating in the way. I stood in front of the cultural place as I finished eating, I went for a little tour inside considering that I was ahead of time. The whole place was full of art, it was pleasant and colorful, I was doubtful something as easy couldn't help with my dilemma, I heard music birthing from a room close to where I was standing, I followed my curiousness to uncover a young lady in the middle of her 20's she was as pretty as a picture, her hair was blond half tied in a little bun, her eyes were closed as her hands pressing gently the keys, her long brown dress was spread over the whole seat, she stopped playing when she saw me watching her, she smiled while she beamed "Hi, can I help you with something?" I answered in a very low voice "I just heard the music and I followed it, I apologize for being noisy, it was Moonlight Sonata one of my favorites." she asked joyfully "You can play music?" I responded "I play the cello" as I looked at my watch to see that I could be late, I apologized and said goodbye heading to the room on the 2nd floor.
I found some women sitting each on a chair in a round way, I joined them. Two ladies were in their 40's and a young lady she seemed 30ish, they looked at me in a confusing way as I sat a little bit far from them. The next ten minutes 7 other women came in and sat as they were greeting each other while they grin softly at me. Afterwards the young man from Kurt's got in the room and stared at me for long seconds before looking away saying hi to the rest of the ladies.
Sitting there listening to their stories being raped and expressing their feelings about it. Our common thing was none of us had the courage to come clean, or inform anyone about this. The fact that Edwin and Mabel knew about this was just because they are close to him as well otherwise I wouldn't dare to speak. A touch on my shoulder interrupted my thoughts, the young lady mumbled softly " It's your turn." I pondered into my words to find the right ones remembering that I wasn't there to be judged, "My name is Elleona'' I muttered "Speak up Elleona so we can hear you." The guy requested while my face turned red as I was choking on my own words, I tried to talk but my voice failed me, I looked down feeling the colors changing in my face. The guy insisted "She shared enough today" Looking at me he beamed "Welcome within us." I nodded struggling to wipe the tears landing on my red cheeks.
I heard all the stories and everyone of them broke me more than I was already broken, earth is full of monsters, monsters not under our beds nor hiding behind our closets, they are walking living between us. It was 7 pm already and I walked out of the room heading for the door. Subsequently my phone rang, his name popped on the screen as I gasped hanging up. "You should slay your demons." A voice whispered from behind, I turned to find that guy behind me smiling at me while my eyes all dread " My name is Tobias Hadlee, I am the founder of this little club." I was eager to know what he was doing there. The building door was ajar, I spotted my father's car with that excuse I left with a quick bye.285Please respect copyright.PENANAAsGS6hlgrU