We walked in together while I was trying to ignore Mabel screaming why didn't I wear makeup, we passed through the classes to the gym that appeared to be a ball, golden stars hanging from the far ceiling, the theme seemed like a mix of generations, the tables were set as a buffet, the DJ launched a pretty welcoming song at the beginning, we set down at a 4 people table, during which the principe Mr Ned Brownrigg started his lovely speech, appearing so personable. Tobias by my side looked serious even while playing with my hand under the table, when I asked for the reason he explained how nervous he was of all the people staring. Mabel realised that I got my smile back, we chatted about random things and every time I peeked at Tobias, his eyes were almost counting the stars for a second he turned to find me staring at him, I panicked inside showing strong eyes. He probed "Is there something on my face?" I laughed blocking it with my hand "No don't stop yourself from laughing and tell me what's going on?" He removed my hand from my face. I confessed "You just look so cute with your hair back, it's new to me." He smirked, After waiting for the kids to gather the DJ finally played some music he started with High On Life by Martin Garrix and the girls went all screaming dragging their dates to the dance floor, and the prom vibes kicked in, the loud music made me feel nostalgic for some reason. Once Mabel heard Remind Me To Forget by Kygo, she little jumped while she sat, Edwin stood up and asked her for a dance, I leaned towards Tobias and bent to put my head on his shoulder and whispered to him "Kids." He laughed and nodded, we enjoyed gossiping on each and every person in that party.
The time passed so quickly but it stopped for me when I harked a song The Night We Met by Lord Huron, I sat correctly and I turned over to Tobias trying to hide my desire for the song, he stood and asked "Would you accept this kid to dance with you?" I stood up with a wide smile and he held my hand differently this time he walked as I was behind him to the dance floor, he turned at me and grabbed both my hands and put them on his shoulders, he pulled me closer to him as he laid his hands on my hips, and looked down at me as we both moved along with the music, it was more intimate than the words he said the other day, he placed his forehead on mine, I closed my eyes and I felt a fire growing inside me, It hurt but I enjoyed the feeling and I wanted more, I glanced up at him and he gazed down at me, I stared at his eyes for more that I intended and he did the same, my heart beats were louder than the music, I rested my head on his shoulder I felt his heart beating next to mine, he set his hands on my back as he lowered his head on the back of my neck pulling us even closer to each other, and I felt like the world was collapsing and there is no space left, I forgot about everyone around us, he lifted his head up and I followed as he peered deeply into my eyes causing me to drown into his, what's happening? He silenced my thoughts crashing his lips against mine and I fell for him. My mind went blank, my curious thinking ran out of thoughts, I smelled his perfume woody and herbaceous, it helped getting me out of the world, the song was more than three minutes in my head, by the end of it, it made the kiss break but we didn't separate our heads, they were always on each other both closing eyes, living the feeling we made seconds ago. The loud clapping woke us up, as we clapped along and our eyes couldn't meet, but our hands did as we walked back to the table."
"Wow, you are strong." Maureen said turning off the alarm, I never thought I was strong by doing that, he made me strong and he made me love myself, that's why I love him till today.
Tomorrow Tobias will return home from San Francisco but this time I feel different, inasmuch as I am excited to see him again, except something feels off still I can't point to it, pretty sure I am feeling anxious and all these thoughts rushing up in my head and I am pushing them back again, yet I am wondering where the voice is.
I arrived at the Primrose school to pick up Lillian, she was so delighted when she saw me she exhaled putting both her tiny hands on her mouth "Mommy!" I picked her up as she ran to me, the school principal was Tobias's acquaintance so Lillian was welcome to stay for couple hours if we were busy, we drove to the store in our block while Lillian and I were enjoying the little moments shopping, just as I was choosing which Ice cream to get the kids I glanced a figure standing on my right side without even moving, I turned to spot a familiare face but not a friendly one, that moment was so suspenseful, it was Othello. I could tell that my face turned all red and my eyes grew wider as I looked at him and back to Lillian, It has been 10 years, Edwin told me he went out from jail 4 months ago because he got arrested again for drugs and I didn't expect he will ever look for me again, my hands were shaking and I was scared, all the memories were reviving and my head was about to explode, I took Lillian from the seat of the grocery cart and I tried to walk fast even tho I was so frail, I went straight to my car without peeking back, I started it but I couldn't drive, I was trembling as I turned to see Lillian playing with her teal blue bow, I didn't control my smile till I remembered what I was dealing with, I started the car and I went straight to my house, I parked the car by the front door rushing to get in, the second I went it I felt some kind of relief like a cold breeze down my whole body holding into my kid, I went up to my room and I knew I should relax before anything, I recalled Tobias's advices back when we were young, he always told me to take a bath when I am stressed or anxious to meditate, Lillian enjoyed the bubbles and the shadows from the little glowy candles.
The fear I was escaping for years was right in front of me looking appalling and petrifying, the thoughts of him wanting to meet Dennise was ruining my whole relaxation rising the anxiety, I glanced at Lillian playing with her yellow duck, her smile and Dennise's could erase all the fear and the sorrow within me, I repeated their names closing my eyes and feeling the warm water covering my whole soft body, till I heard a loud knocking on the door it made me jump, I grabbed my bathrobe and covered Lillian with hers, I went down and put Lillian in her chair, I stood behind the door remembering that everyone had their double key, while the clock was pointing to 2 o'clock, my heart beats were everything I heard, I touched the doorknob and twisted it "Ell? It's me I forgot my key." My father spoke and I exhaled the fear, he entered and the perplexity showed on his face as I was holding my robe fearfully, I usually reach my father first in any matter but never in this, to explain to him about what happened to me 10 years ago, and that Tobias is not Dennise's father is the biggest threat of my life. I glanced up at the calm street before I locked the door and Othello was standing right next to my car, my heart pounds were rapid as I closed my eyes for a second, the thoughts of him looking back at me were wondering in my head except when I opened my eyes he wasn't there, there is no way he could leave in one second, I got out of the house my hair was wet and tied into a bun, I was barefoot wandering around the grass of my front yard seeking his face.
A black Ford parked right next to my car as my father got out of the house holding Lillian between his arms, my uncovered feet were plugged in the lawn and I couldn't move nor think about anything else but Othello, the thoughts of him being in that car while my father and my daughter were out to bring me back home, my body was about to collapse everything was happening so quickly yet everything was slow, until Lillian giggled "Daddy!" I turned to find Tobias standing next to his suitcase towering in a black sweater and grey trousers, I couldn't control myself I ran to him and my eyes were about to explain everything, he tightened his arms around me "I am okay now." I whispered and he heard, he cleared the tears out of my pale skin and kissed on my forehead saying "Let's go in and tell me everything, okay honey?"I nodded as his face expression went from concerned to serene, Lillian jumped on Tobias when we walked closer to them, while my father quaked "Elleona, are you okay my dear?" I responded "Yes don't worry father, I was just stressed but I am happy that Tobias is back." Tobias was back a day before his schedules it was normal but not usual, I closed the door instantly after we got in, Tobias grabbed his suitcase and climbed up to our bedroom I followed him directly, I put on a comfortable pyjamas and set on the white carpet leaning on my bed even as I waited for him to get out of the bathroom.
For two minute my mind searched for that voice while I was looking at the pool blue sky through the glass door of the balcony, the voice was nowhere to be found, but I questioned the state of my mind. Am I going Insane? The door handle cracking open woken me up and Tobias walked to sit next to me, he wrapped his arms around me as I placed my head on his chest, I missed his odour and how bosom it is, I missed his voice and how comforting it is, I missed his smile and how happy it make me, I missed him, I missed the love I feel and liveliness when I am with him. When I told him what happened he took out his phone from his pocket and called Edwin, he asked him the question I had on mind yet he didn't show any reaction, he hung up the phone and he gazed at me "That wasn't him, Edwin said that Othello is actually in hospital because of his drug addiction." I felt safe except not from myself "Does this mean I am hallucinating?" I asked then he grabbed my face with both hands and he explained "You are scared and stressed and maybe didn't get enough sleep. You are more lucid than I am." I smiled wishing I could believe him this time, the thing is I failed.
The blueness was rising, surpassing the redness and the balance was shaky. I was blue before and Tobias brought me back but not this time, every feeling and thought I used to sense and think of ten years ago, they are all back all at once altogether, I don't want to breathe anymore because it hurts when I do, I see him everywhere now and his voice is following me, I am losing my mind and no one can help this time, but I will help myself, I will finish what life still didn't give me.283Please respect copyright.PENANAR0oZtqnBop