I just wanted to serve my country. Emphasis on the I.
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“Listen up, you meat suits will be dropped in to eliminate the enemy’s weapons manufacturer and destroy the compound. Should be easy with what we’re giving you. Any questions?” 111Please respect copyright.PENANAHczArDRkvI
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No one said a word. They didn’t want to. This wasn’t our war anymore so why bother?
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“Good, now juice up.”
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A beautiful lady with long blond hair and a smoking hot body steps forward toward us. But what really got us to stand at attention was what she was wearing. At least we got to see something good before we go under. A small mercy.
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Satisfied with the excited blood pumping through us, she hands the 13 of us a syringe with a strange red substance. Assassin type as expected.
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I take the cold syringe and stare at it while everyone else shoots the liquid up their veins. Is this really what I want to do with my life?
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“Number 889, is there a problem?”
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“N-No sir.”
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I look around at my fellow victims. Their eyes have already glazed over, the liquid quickly flowing to the brain and doing its work. Soon, I will be in their position.
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I take the syringe and carefully insert in into my arm. I push the liquid inside me and instantly I feel the familiar sensation. The frigid fire courses through my veins, freezing then burning my blood. As if alive, it spreads throughout my body, getting familiar with the host. 111Please respect copyright.PENANAZWy1uSBA6b
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My body begins to convulse uncontrollably as the substance slithers through my soul. Every bloody inch it scraps away, another part of me is submerged and overtaken. Memories blend and emotions fall to bedlam.
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Who am I?
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What am I?
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I feel this body’s eyes roll back into the skull. There, in that twisting darkness of the minding, I can see it. Something…foreign to us. Us? Who are we? How many are in here? I’m so tired. I…we…they…someone wants freedom.
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But the chains of the mission don’t go away. The noose only tightens, blistering the writhing souls raw. Blades tears away at the skin but we’re unable to scream. Hammers crush the bones but we're unable to beg for mercy. 111Please respect copyright.PENANANmPOyaJ2KR
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The body goes through unfamiliar but familiar motions. Howls of the dying and the smell of the decaying fill the atmosphere. So close to our memories yet so far from what we think is right.
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Soldiers, assassins, leaders, and more fight for dominance in the mind of the broken. Where-111Please respect copyright.PENANAnlMRWX5jtk
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*Snap*
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“Snap out of it, the mission is over.”
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“H-Huh?”
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Suddenly, I am me again. I’m pulled from the depths of insanity and back into the waking world. But something is missing again. Pieces…lost in the torrent. Memories and thoughts are absorbed by the all-consuming black.
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“W-Who are you?”
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“You commanding officer, now clean yourself up.”
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I hesitate to look down or around me, the smell tells me enough. The burning bodies behind me and the wetness on my hands. But…I had to keep going. No one will lead me out of this darkness.
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I opened my eyes to see the carnage we committed. We completed our given mission, paid by the blood of hundreds.
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“W-What have I done!”
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We all look toward the new recruit. A child no more than 14 years of age, forced to play host to some past killer. He couldn’t but empty his bowls after such an event. 111Please respect copyright.PENANAyCbHgZmtFo
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“For fuck sake, someone clean after 900. Fucking meat suits…”
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The rest of us closed our hearts to it and went back into the ship. Time blurred after that and now we come to the present.
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Escaping the psych ward, I stand on top the military compound, looking to the merciful concrete below to end my suffering. 111Please respect copyright.PENANAHDYC0SersM
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Voices in my head rattle and fight over my decision. I scrap them out until blood fills my vision. I have to end it quickly before more memories are ripped from me.
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I picture my mother and sister. The warmth of their-
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No…
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I CAN’T REMEMBER THEIR FACES!
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“Why!? Why did they do this to us?!
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*Door Open*
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“What are you doing soldier!?”
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Soldier? Soldier!?
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I turn to face our commander. Or…what I think is the commander…
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“I’m not a soldier, I’m just a meat suit remember? You never wanted brave soldiers willing to fight and die for their country. You just wanted slaves!”
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“Get down from there. That’s an order!”
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I look back down and see only peace awaiting me. The screams of voices long dead ring further in my head. No matter how much I scratch, they won’t get out! I have no choice.
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“Wait!”
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I jump.
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God please, make me whole again. I want to remember-
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*Bang*
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…
…
…
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“For fuck sake, another one?”
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“It’s within expectation.”
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“I know, I just wish this 3-way war would end already. Even I-”
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“Peace my son, this is all according to our Lord’s plan. Who else would gift our wonderful nation with the power to bring back the dead.”
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“But in such a cruel way…”
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“Sacrifices must be made for the greater good. Now, clean up the mess and find a new recruit. What number are we at again? Oh yes, 70000.”
ns 172.70.127.92da2