it’s 4:20pm, january 13th 2024. its dark outside, darker than it should be for 4:20pm. the wind is blowing and other than that, it’s silent. my mum has gone out somewhere and my brother is at his girlfriends house. so it’s just me, my dogs and my cat. when i’m home alone, i go to places where i don’t really go during the day. the whole house is quiet so here i am sitting on the stairs, my back against the wall. as soon as i sat down, my speaker started playing male fantasy from my room. i listened and i think of the music video to it. i watch it on my phone and realise. i realise it explains exactly how i feel right now. my dogs came down the stairs and Bunnie sat next to me, she rested her head on my lap and Teddy laid down on the step above. then i heard my cat make that little ‘prrub’ sound. he was at the bottom of the stairs and eventually tip tapped his little delicate paws up the steps next to me, Bunnie, and Teddy. all four of us, sitting on the steps listening to Billies voice echoing throughout the house. i stroke Bunnies head and think. i know i’m alone. i know how alone i am. i’ve come to terms with that. but atleast i can experience my loneliness with the silent yet comforting presence of two dogs, and one cat, accompanied with Billies angelic voice.
i think Male Fantasy saved me.
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