what do people think seconds before they commit? seconds before they take that step and their body hits the floor, before they let that rope hang loose and their neck snaps or they are strangled to death, before they go to sleep after taking 50 pills that slowly melt away their organs, knowing that they’re gonna die? do they feel instant regret? or relief. like they’re finally free. free of their suffering. maybe they feel guilt. that they’re leaving their family behind. they’re leaving all their teddy’s behind. maybe in those last few seconds they realise their cat is waiting for them on their bed. or that their dog is sitting at the front door waiting for the keys to rattle. or even that your mum has made your favourite food, but now it will never get eaten. anger? maybe they’d be angry. with themself? or other people? angry with themself because they think they made a fucking dumb decision. or other people because their the reason they feel that way. probably sadness. sad because they won’t see what the universe was going to bring for them in the near and far future. they won’t experience the days when a rainbow appears after rain. or when someone tells you your outfit looks nice. or that they won’t be around to meet their lover. i think i’d feel all emotions at once. regret, relief, guilt, anger and sadness. i can’t help myself from wondering what other people thought seconds before. but.. what am i going to think seconds before?
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