I’m ok with alone. I’m an indoor guy that love being alone sometimes and talk to myself in a room that only I’m inside. I can deal with loneliness, so all of this wasn’t really that hard for me. 

But perhaps I’ve seen and witnessed the power of couples, the power of not have to be alone, the power of LOVE and being LOVED. 

I’m so lonely, but I don’t want to say that. What happened to the old me that can be alone without feeling lonely? 

Perhaps I really want someone to hug me, say “ I’m proud of you” and keep hugging me. Maybe I’ll cry so hard in their comfortable shoulders, or feel so shocked I couldn’t even lift my cold and lonely arms. 

What will I do? What will be my interaction with the other human if they do that to me? To actually cares and love me? Maybe I’ll never know, maybe it’ll never happen. I miss the days when I can choose to be alone or not to be… 

Day 500 without seeing a human being.